What's the deal?

[Moccaqueen]

I met this great guy a little over a year ago. We dated for three months (no sex), and then he just disappeared off the face of the earth. I mean he stopped calling, texting, coming by, inviting me over... just fell off. I had no clue what could have happened. We were still having awesome dates, traveling and just enjoying life together. Almost exactly one year to the date of his disappearance he called me out of the blue. I had deleted his number and put him to the back of my memory. Once I heard his voice all these feelings came back. He expressed how much he missed me and wanted to see me. I agreed and we met up and went to a comedy show (he still looked good). Afterwards neither of us were ready to go home so we sat at a local bar and talked. I asked all the important questions, but when I asked what happened to him a year ago? he stated "he went overseas to work". I'm thinking dang you couldn't let me know before you left. Anyway the night end and we continued conversing by phone everyday after for two weeks. Next thing I know poof! he pulls another Houdini. It has been over a month since we last spoke, but this morning I receive a call from him. I didn't answer, he left a message saying he lost his phone or had problems with it or what ever. He claims that he wants to take me out for my birthday this weekend. I haven't called him back yet to give him an answer. I don't know what this guys problem is. He seems to be into me (i'm into him), he is at a settling down stage (at least he says so), he has a great career in the medical field, he owns property, and talks of relocating to the same area I am relocating to. The signs are all mixed up, what would you do? Call him back and see what happens, or let him go altogether.

 

[natstar]

Let him go altogether. He is so inconsistent and I think he's lying to you somewhere in here. You deserve consistency and open communication. Don't spend your birthday with him.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Well...............you know the old..new saying...HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU...Let it go, don't waste your thoughts, energy, time or brain on this one.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Yeah...He's just not that into you . His shadiness is not a characteristic that you deserve either. I wouldn't be surprised if he had another family somewhere or running away from something like his past, maybe he doesn't like committment. Whateva it is...you should KIM

 

[brownelovely]

His behavior leads me to think he has a wife and family or he's with someone in a relationship. For him to disappear out of the blue is not only strange but rude. I'd leave him alone for good. Obviously he's playing games because if he was serious he could have found some kind of alternate communication.

 

[blackmaven]

This is man is playing a game. Keep ignoring his calls. You deserve better

 

[Moccaqueen]

I think I agree with you all. I know he doesn't have a secret family somewhere, but I totally deserve consistency. I am better than that to have someone beckoning me at his will. I will not call him back and will just delete his number again... no block it so if he tries to call it will go straight to VM.

Thanks all.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

He's married. That's it in a nutshell. Fuggedabouthim. Ain't nobody got time to be ridin on no dayum emotional rollercoster.... i'd say phuck him n feed him beans n keep it movin...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Girl do not entertain this fool. He could have come up with better excuses. He's full of crap. You deserve better and a man like him doesn't deserve someone like you. That wouldn't be fair.

 

[blaqueskimo]

Let him go altogether. He is so inconsistent and I think he's lying to you somewhere in here. You deserve consistency and open communication. Don't spend your birthday with him.

Yea I agree. Leave him alone. He's not telling you the truth about what was going on with him IMO

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

Dont even waste your time...

 

[hopeful]

Did he even apologize for disappearing the first time? I would be afraid to invest any time in this man.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

:LOL: @ owning property and being established, yet always disappearing.
I bet he owns property with his wife.

And if he were overseas in the medical field, three months into knowing you, he'd have to have an email address to check up on you right? I'm sorry but if my husband can call me from Afghanistan RIGHT after a bombing because I hadn't heard from him in 2 days, to tell me he's okay, then your doctor quack magician needs to come up with something better. Any man who thinks you are an excellent catch, will not run in and out of your life like this... not even for a week, barring emergencies.

It's all theatrics. Apparently, he doesn't think he has enough personality to keep you interested on a daily basis so, he resorts to theatrics. You already know he's not the one. He's creating the feelings of excitement for you by disappearing, and coming back with "intense emotions," creating an emotional rollercoaster for you to go off of.

I would give him an opportunity to take me out "for my birthday," and then disappear for 6 months. If he should find me after 6 months, I'll say I was touring with David Blaine.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

He disappeared 2x already. Don't fall for it the 3rd time.

 

[HAIRapy]

The last time I checked, they had phones overseas. I wouldn't even waste my time on him.

 

[Makenzie]

There are too many ways to communicate that he could have utilized to contact you. He not only dropped out for A YEAR but then came back and did it again.

No. Something shady is going on. I say keep it moving.

 

[Nyssa28]

He's tryna c*ckblock on your birthday.

 

[Kerryann]

Yeah...He's just not that into you . His shadiness is not a characteristic that you deserve either. I wouldn't be surprised if he had another family somewhere or running away from something like his past, maybe he doesn't like committment. Whateva it is...you should KIM

i was thinking the same thing

 

[awhyley]

Glad I'm not the only person who thinks that this dude is married. I was going to ask what he does for a living, because he sounds like the 'travelling-salesman' type; has a family out of state, while trying to keep a relationship with you. He is trfie. Find yourself a full-time man.

 

[ANUBIS]

he's married girl...RUN! you cant truely be sure that " hes not married" if he's already puttin those chris angel tacktics on u

 

[honeycomb719]

We teach people how to treat us. If you come back around after the second disappearing act you are guarenteed to have it happen again in the future. Think about what message you would be sending him if you did...

 

[TayMac]

Any update OP? Has he left a VM or anything? Just curious...

 

[metro_qt]

I think I agree with you all. I know he doesn't have a secret family somewhere, but I totally deserve consistency. I am better than that to have someone beckoning me at his will. I will not call him back and will just delete his number again... no block it so if he tries to call it will go straight to VM.

Thanks all.

How do you really know he has no secret family anywhere else?
I mean he fully and completely disappears from your life for a full YEAR!!!
and you're 100% certain he doesn't have a wife/girlfriend/kids anywhere else?

This is classic... he's shady to say the least, and he's stringing you along.
let him go.
don't even tell him you're letting him go. give him a piece of his own medicine.

 

[Moccaqueen]

UPDATE!!!! I took everyone's advice and decided not to entertain him. Matter of fact I decided to take a trip to DC and hang out with friends and family. I know I had a way better time than if I would have went out with him. He did send a TXT, but I let him know I already had plans. Thanks for helping me realize that if I were to let him float in and out of my life, I would be sending the message that that is OK. My phone will continue to remain blocked to his calls. God bless.