What Would You Do?

[FemmeFatale]

What would you do if you were completely blindsided with additional wedding expenses as a bridesmaid and the events all take place in the next 4.5 months? The additional amount being $1500 and you already have your own stuff going on?

 

[Dee-Licious]

What would you do if you were completely blindsided with additional wedding expenses as a bridesmaid and the events all take place in the next 4.5 months? The additional amount being $1500 and you already have your own stuff going on?

I would decline politely and have no qualms about it.

 

[bellatiamarie]

Errrrr? Tell the bride or whomever I'm supporting that I cannot afford the additional expenses. What are the additional expenses for, OP?

 

[Dee-Licious]

What the heck is costing $1500 to be a bridesmaid?

Folks run out.......

 

[Tressed]

Unreimbursed expenses?

I'd have to decline the invitation because I don't allow other
expenses to cut into my annual vacation expenses, it's too close to vacay time.

Unless the wedding was taking place at my vacation destination.








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[Dee-Licious]

Errrrr? Tell the bride or whomever I'm supporting that I cannot afford the additional expenses. What are the additional expenses for, OP?

See, I wouldn't even say I couldn't afford it. My finances ain't her business. I could afford it but rather spend my $1500 on something else. It must not be that close of a friend since she's finding out a few months ahead of time.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Errrrr? Tell the bride or whomever I'm supporting that I cannot afford the additional expenses. What are the additional expenses for, OP?

Bridal shower costs and bachelorette party..think high end.

 

[curlicarib]

Send the bride my congratulations on her upcoming nuptials, and my regrets for not being able to participate along with a nice gift - not $1500 nice, maybe $200-300 nice.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Unreimbursed expenses?

I'd have to decline the invitation because I don't allow other
expenses to cut into my annual vacation expenses, it's too close to vacay time.

Unless the wedding was taking place at my vacation destination.








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Yes, this is the duty each bridesmaid has.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Yes, this is the duty each bridesmaid has.

How many bridesmaids?

 

[FemmeFatale]

meaning this is what has been assigned to everyone, not that you agree with it.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Tell her im not able to fulfill the BM duties.

 

[Lucie]

I adore nice things and believe in quality not just for myself but for those in my life. But as a bride I really do not want my friends spending that sort of money on top of what they have already spent, regardless of whether they have it like that or not. I would decline to participate in that part of being a bridesmaid.

 

[Tressed]

Yes, this is the duty each bridesmaid has.

Duty?!

Not over and above the norm expenses it ain't.

Didn't you say these were "additional" expenses?

If so, none of the bridesmaid's are 'duty' bound imo.







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[Dee-Licious]

meaning this is what has been assigned to everyone, not that you agree with it.

lol I edited to ask how many bridesmaids?

 

[TwoSnapsUp]

The only thing I paid for as a bridesmaid were the dresses I never wore again and getting my hair done. To add $1500 on top of that? This needed to be communicated before I order the dress so that I can decline being in the wedding party.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I adore nice things and believe in quality not just for myself but for those in my life. But as a bride I really do not want my friends spending that sort of money on top of what they have already spent, regardless of whether they have it like that or not. I would decline to participate in that part of being a bridesmaid.

Would it be different if it were distant relative?

 

[Lucie]

Would it be different if it were distant relative?

Yes, because I would not be in their wedding.

 

[curlicarib]

Don't forget them tacky dyed shoes.

The only thing I paid for as a bridesmaid were the dresses I never wore again and getting my hair done. To add $1500 on top of that? This needed to be communicated before I order the dress so that I can decline being in the wedding party.

 

[bellatiamarie]

See, I wouldn't even say I couldn't afford it. My finances ain't her business. I could afford it but rather spend my $1500 on something else. It must not be that close of a friend since she's finding out a few months ahead of time.

I agree with you... but I think it depends on the type of relationship/closeness.

 

[vani]

Hell nah

 

[Browndilocks]

How many bridesmaids are in the wedding? Traditionally, the MOH throws the bachelorette and the mother of the bride throws the shower. Bridesmaids just buy their own dresses.

 

[FemmeFatale]

How many bridesmaids are in the wedding? Traditionally, the MOH throws the bachelorette and the mother of the bride throws the shower. Bridesmaids just buy their own dresses.

6 bridesmaids.

I'm so pissed and stressed that I broke out in hives.

 

[Browndilocks]

Six bridesmaids at 1500 each? I'd have to bow out of that one. That's ridiculous and very telling of the bride if she has that type of taste at the expense of others. I hate when females want me to spend money on them as if I'm some ninja they're sexin. Even people who have a lot of money don't do that. You sure she's not trying to get you to pick up some of the wedding tab and disguise it in the fashion of a shower and bachelorette?

 

[Dee-Licious]

6 bridesmaids.

I'm so pissed and stressed that I broke out in hives.

Girl, "no." is a complete sentence. Don't have yourself stressed and sick about this if you have other stuff going on, and it's not feasible.

 

[Tressed]

6 bridesmaids.

I'm so pissed and stressed that I broke out in hives.

I think it's rude for the bride to expect her friends or even distant relatives who in most cases, are young single women themselves, to pull out that kind of money for a day that isn't all about them.

I would have never had the unmitigated gall to ask my friends to be a bridesmaid and then stick them with a huge tab just for the "honor".

ain't right.




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[BrownBetty]

Tell em you can no longer be a bridesmaid.

I've been MOH. I told everyone of the estimated costs in the first meeting. We had a budget for everything and went over by I think $60. There were 5 of us. I told the bride what we planned and that was it. If she wanted something outside of our planned expenses she had to cover it.

Say no, end of story.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I'm not completely dropping out but I won't be doing that full additional amount.

The shower is so grand, they're looking to have 100 guests at a high end place..why isn't family trying to cover that? Ugh so annoyed.

 

[MizAvalon]

Nope, I'm not coming up off of an extra $1500 that wasn't agreed upon beforehand. I would either decline to participate or something else would have to be done regarding that $1500.

 

[toaster]

Hmm. I'm in two wedding this year and I've spent $600-800 on my plane tickets, renting a car, and hotel for the extended weekends. Both brides are doing their bachelorette parties the Thursday before the wedding, saving me another weekend trip.

One bride paid for the dress, the other didn't. I've spent $150 each on shoes.

One bride is paying for hair and makeup, the other isn't.

I'm not sure what the bachelorette activities will cost me, or how much I'll spend to eat during the times we aren't together during the weekend, but I'll probably come close to spending $1200-$1500 on each wedding.

I estimated those costs before I said yes. I wouldn't spend the money unless I truly wanted to be there.

Distant relatives and half friends only get a yes from me if they pay for everything, I don't have to travel, and I like the dress.