What was the last straw, what made you start self relaxing?

alexstin

alexstin

Well-Known Member
I want to self relax but I'm scared!!!!! I'm moving away from my hairdresser in a few months so I'm really thinking about this now.

As I've learned more healthy hair tips I've gotten more dissatisfied with the salon experience. I only go to the salon for my relaxer(once every 4mos) but I'm right on the edge and just need that little push to do my own.

My fears:

I'll underprocess

I'll overprocess LOL!

I won't get out all the relaxer.

I've seen the pics of doing the relaxer in sections but the rinsing out part still gets me. Especially people who lean over the tub to rinse out the relaxer.

How did you get over the fears and just take the plunge?
 
Well I have self relax my hair in the past. I decided to start back self relaxing because my hair started breaking in the nape again. I don't know if the area being overprocess or it's not washed out properly. You know how they have your neck resting against the sink and they probably spray that area like one or two times. So I decided I was going to experiment and see if my hair thrives better with my care. I have a removable shower head and I get in the tub. I don't hold my head over the tub and if you get somebody to spray each section for you it works better.
 
So many things happened leading up to my decision that I don't know why I didn't throw in the towel sooner. I guess my biggest block was fear and saying that I could never relax my own hair.

Coming here finally gave me that courage that I was looking for.
 
My friend did her own relaxers and volunteered to do mine after disappointing salon visits. I got my confidence from her. After a while I was able to do it myself.

Sometimes I do underprocess. I used to worry about overprocessing, but then I read a post that said to coat the relaxed hair with an instant conditioner.

I don't rinse my hair in the tub though. I rinse the relaxer out in the kitchen sink using a shampoo spray hose.
 
1. Hairdressers relaxing my hair the wrong way(overlapping) led me to self-relax.
2. Their attitudes. I knew there was no way I could incorporate hair-dressers into my healthy hair journey without them thinking I was being annoying. I didn't want to start WWIII by telling them how to properly relax my hair :ohwell:
 
1)Hairstylists rushing me out the chair because they overbooked.

2)Slapped together hairstyles like doobie wraps that I could do better at home.

3)High prices and scissor-happy stylists. Can't beat $5 or $6 to buy the relaxer and no cost to do it yourself, neutralize, anddeep condition correctly.
 
Well, I realized it happened long before I decided to take the plunge (and self relax), but I was thinking about how my previous hairdresser relaxed my hair and I remembered one time she barely washed out all of the relaxer out of my hair (at the time I didn't know how important that was) she later told me to shampoo my hair when I get home with perosity control.
Now that I have the knowledge that I do now, I've realized that I can't take those kinds of risks with my hair anymore, and leave it up to stylists to decide the outcome of the health of my hair.
 
I still haven't gotten the balls to do it (well, I have the balls, I'm just wearing them for earrings right now!!):lol:

But a lot of these same concerns would def drive to do if I weren't so afraid, with the number one reason being that I don't want to be taken through the process at the salon like I am on the assembly line b/c a relaxer aint no joke if you're rushing right through it and not being attentive......

Still scared though and haven't taken the plunge.
 
The last straw for me was when I noticed my hair thinning :eek: ...it was growing but was very thin. The hairstylists would relax my hair too straight, she wanted me to come in at least every 6 weeks for a relaxer and she would never deep condition my hair...I'll stop there because the list goes on and on...:mad:
 
When I realized I didn't want bone straight relaxers anymore and decided to texturize. After paying this chic 80 bucks for 10-15 minutes worth of chemicals, an unwanted trim, and a wack hairstyle as the end result was all it took for me!
 
Indigo, do you have any pics of your texturized hair? I would love too see them. I am planning on doing a text this spring ( April) or so. Do you straighten often?

Anyway, not trying to thread jack, but I have decided to not pay someone to ruin my hair after growing out my hair twice and them having me breaking and bald spots from the chemical not being completely wahed out. I was paying a so called person who has done celebrities assistants a 100.00 or more to ruin my hair. The 100.00 was his fee. The only thing he did was roll my hair. You know I remember that one of the last times I went the shampoo girl just kept staring at me. I mean just staring. She was the person responsible for rinsing out my chemicals. Less than a month later the left side of my hair was ate off and completely see-thru. Gone. I had no choice but to cut it all off and start again. Man did I ever just cry!

NEVER AGAIN!!!
 
Actually I did the opposite, I used to self relax for a while but i noticed I wasn't getting the back properly so I found a dominican salon that does it properly, I will never self relax again.
 
My mom started allowing me to self-relax in high school (no lye box perm), so I guess I kind of cut my teeth that way. I only started going to the salon because I thought 1) they could do a better job, and 2) they used lye

Well, if better means thinner and lifeless (like the first pic in my siggy), then yes, they did better. I thought I had no other choice but to go to the salon until I learned that I could buy lye myself (Vitale). Now, I will never go back!
 
the last straw was...

when i was getting charged 5-10 bucks extra for my hair length.
also when on a few occasions they wanted to put whatever relaxer they wanted to get rid of in my hair,and I had to argue them out of it.

When I decided I can actually put my own relaxer in and it looks good...:D ..and it costs me 7 bucks.:D .
 
alexstin said:
I want to self relax but I'm scared!!!!! I'm moving away from my hairdresser in a few months so I'm really thinking about this now.

As I've learned more healthy hair tips I've gotten more dissatisfied with the salon experience. I only go to the salon for my relaxer(once every 4mos) but I'm right on the edge and just need that little push to do my own.

My fears:

I'll underprocess

I'll overprocess LOL!

I won't get out all the relaxer.

I've seen the pics of doing the relaxer in sections but the rinsing out part still gets me. Especially people who lean over the tub to rinse out the relaxer.

How did you get over the fears and just take the plunge?
Click to expand...

I am not mad at you for being scared.
I am natural now and have been for a few years..BUT when I self relaxed I never got it as straight as I wanted it.
I mean now I know better because I can blow it straight and straighten it and get the same effect BUT
I let my hairdresser do the perms and they came out a hellofalot better and it was worth it.
and he did them way faster than i ever could.
if you do master it go for it.
 
I WISH I could self-relax. I tried once and my younger sister (who CAN self-relax) laughed at me and did it for me. :ohwell: I hope I can learn in the future, but I'm scared for the same reasons you are.
 
My stylist kept underprocessing me. My hair was always very healthy, just not as straight as I wanted. It didn't bother me much because I rarely wore my hair out. The last time I saw her I got my hair relaxed and cornrowed. 2 weeks later when I took the cornrows out and washed, my hair was as wavy as can be. Like it was never relaxed at all. I called her to complain and she said that I waited too long betweeen relaxers and that's why it happened. I thanked her and hung up. That was a year and a half ago and I haven't spoken to her since.

I relax my own hair now and things are going great. I'm still learning but I'm so grateful to this board and all of you ladies. Everything I need is right here.:yep:
 
I went to see Madea Goes to Jail with my girl. All during the play the back of my head was itching something awful. I went to the ladies room and tried to see the back with my compact. When I got home i lifted the top of my hair and discovered to my horror that i had maybe an inch of hair (at the time i wore my hair in a chin length bob that was a little shorter in the back). I called the stylist immediately and was told "yeah, i noticed that breakage when you were here (i was a weekly salon customer). The relaxer was not washed out properly. She asked me what do I do to it at home and if i were stressed about anything...i said yes, i am stress about my hair that had fallen out!
 
Alexstin, don't be scared.

The positives of self-relaxing:
You are in control of everything--
a) the relaxer you choose
b) how long you leave it on
c) how well and how long you neutralize
d) what you choose to deep condition with, etc.

You never have to worry about someone switching up relaxers on you. You can neutralize however long you want and you can feel all around and investigate to make sure all of the relaxer and neutralizing poo is rinsed out. You don't have to ask someone to use more conditioner and to leave it on longer PLEASE.

The only negative I can think of is that you cannot see what's going on as well. And stylist are usually quicker at doing things than we are.

I think that it is best to relax in sections so that you can really take your time and even if you have to do it over several days that is okay too. If you don't trust yourself though, I wouldn't do it. I think the most important thing is to plan well and make sure you have plenty of time. And a little prayer doesn't hurt either.
 
The hefer at the salon did not want to put conditioner on the ends of my hair. She was like we dont leave it on that long. But you left it on long enough to bone straight relax my hair. I havent been to a salon since mid May of 2007. Been self-relaxed, self-styled, self-everything else ever since.
 
hopeful said:
Alexstin, don't be scared.

The positives of self-relaxing:
You are in control of everything--
a) the relaxer you choose
b) how long you leave it on
c) how well and how long you neutralize
d) what you choose to deep condition with, etc.

You never have to worry about someone switching up relaxers on you. You can neutralize however long you want and you can feel all around and investigate to make sure all of the relaxer and neutralizing poo is rinsed out. You don't have to ask someone to use more conditioner and to leave it on longer PLEASE.

The only negative I can think of is that you cannot see what's going on as well. And stylist are usually quicker at doing things than we are.

I think that it is best to relax in sections so that you can really take your time and even if you have to do it over several days that is okay too. If you don't trust yourself though, I wouldn't do it. I think the most important thing is to plan well and make sure you have plenty of time. And a little prayer doesn't hurt either.
Click to expand...

DH has been doing my relaxers since Fall 2006. :grin:
 
When i moved i didnt know my area so me and my sister started doing our own. my sister does my relaxer and i do hers. It comes out the same as the salon would do or better. she does it the way i want her to. i dont have to wait or pay.
 
When my stylist went from charging $55 at hair cuttery, to $70 at JCPenny, not including trim and color! I was NOT paying over $100 for that!!!!
 
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