What to do when you can't shake this feeling

[indigodiva]

For any of you who have every had someone you loved with all your heart turn their back on you( break away from the relationship)...have you ever had a weird feeling, like deep down in the pit of your stomach....like its not a physical pain per se' but its like an ache you can't shake...


I mean I'm not asking how to get rid of it, but more along the lines of what is happening to me physically. I know I'm not sick or anything, but I know emotions can effect your body physically, and I'd like to know what is going on...


I dont have anyone I can talk to who really understands and so I have all these bottled up emotions! I've cried just about everyday this month and I just dont think this is healthy...I mean aren't u supposed to be able to get over people. There are moments in the day when I feel fine, and I think I'm over it, and then these different feelings keep sneaking up on me. I want to accept the situation, but its like my stupid heart isn't listening!!!! When I think rationally, then I'm ok, but I just cant hold on to whats rational all day no matter how hard I try. I am so sick of feeling like this. I went to church last night and I was ok, and I pray all day long asking God to release me from and I have my moments when I'm cool...but then I get like I am now with tears running down my face feeling a feeling i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...

And it all begins with this aching feeling in my gut, its like it starts there and before I know it, I've lost my damn composure!!!!!!! I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I really dont know how to handle these stages of a break up. I really am beginning to feel like I am manic or something. I mean keep trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and God is in control of everything, but during moments like these it feels like he's not even listening, b/c I asked him to take these stupid feelings away, and they keep returning. Is it too much to ask to want to feel normal again!!!!!! Maybe it could be due to the fact that I have not been with out a boyfriend for the past 4 years. ( I have only dated 2 guys so far, I'm 22 and they both lasted about 2 years)---

I mean please dont think I'm dumb, but I AM HURTING, and I just dont want to anymore. Its either be a wreck completely or convince myself that I am ok, only to have another one of these breakdowns. Somebody help me.

I'll even take just a virtual hug

 

[audacious1]

(((HUG)))

This too shall pass.

 

[mizztasha49]

AWWw yes I have been there....and I know all too well of the pain that you are speaking of but I swear to you....You will get over it!!!! and you will look back and laugh. I know the physical pain that comes from the emotional pain. You have to allow yourself time to cry and get over it. I dont think a month is too long.....but eventually just start doing things that will get your mind off of it. I promise you that you will be ok.

 

[cocoberry10]

I’m sorry for this. I am sending you a virtual hug! I hope you find peace from this. This is the toughest part after a breakup!:blowkiss:

 

[curlilocs]

For any of you who have every had someone you loved with all your heart turn their back on you( break away from the relationship)...have you ever had a weird feeling, like deep down in the pit of your stomach....like its not a physical pain per se' but its like an ache you can't shake...


I mean I'm not asking how to get rid of it, but more along the lines of what is happening to me physically. I know I'm not sick or anything, but I know emotions can effect your body physically, and I'd like to know what is going on...


I dont have anyone I can talk to who really understands and so I have all these bottled up emotions! I've cried just about everyday this month and I just dont think this is healthy...I mean aren't u supposed to be able to get over people. There are moments in the day when I feel fine, and I think I'm over it, and then these different feelings keep sneaking up on me. I want to accept the situation, but its like my stupid heart isn't listening!!!! When I think rationally, then I'm ok, but I just cant hold on to whats rational all day no matter how hard I try. I am so sick of feeling like this. I went to church last night and I was ok, and I pray all day long asking God to release me from and I have my moments when I'm cool...but then I get like I am now with tears running down my face feeling a feeling i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...

And it all begins with this aching feeling in my gut, its like it starts there and before I know it, I've lost my damn composure!!!!!!! I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I really dont know how to handle these stages of a break up. I really am beginning to feel like I am manic or something. I mean keep trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and God is in control of everything, but during moments like these it feels like he's not even listening, b/c I asked him to take these stupid feelings away, and they keep returning. Is it too much to ask to want to feel normal again!!!!!! Maybe it could be due to the fact that I have not been with out a boyfriend for the past 4 years. ( I have only dated 2 guys so far, I'm 22 and they both lasted about 2 years)---

I mean please dont think I'm dumb, but I AM HURTING, and I just dont want to anymore. Its either be a wreck completely or convince myself that I am ok, only to have another one of these breakdowns. Somebody help me.

I'll even take just a virtual hug

(((BIG HUG)))

I can honestly relate. We're all wired differently and we all handle emotional stress differently. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can tell you to make it go away. Just continue to pray and stay faithful. Remember that God doesn't put more on us that we can take and time is the best healer. You'll be ok, keep your chin up!

 

[MzLady78]

Awww, I'm so sorry you're hurting. And of course you're not dumb!!!!

Girl, the trauma from my last break up is well documented on this forum. I was a complete wreck. But I'm so much better now. I mean, I still think about him sometimes but I'm over it. It took 8 months. I knew I was okay when 3 days ago when I saw that he tried to forward me a text message and it'd didn't come through and all I did was delete it. The last time that happened, I called him back to find out what it was that he was trying to send me (which ultimately was just an excuse to call him).

All I can tell you is that you have to take it day by day. Some days you'll be fine. Other's you'll be on the verge of breakdown. Take those days for what they are-cry, scream, throw things or whatever it is that you do, then promise yourself that the nex day will be better. Before you know it everyday will be a better day!

 

[deltagyrl]

Whoo.

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt, the hat AND the sippy cup.

You will eventually get over it and love again but it's going to take time....

Til then fill your life with people and things that make you happy. It'll get easier.
Just take baby steps.

(((((Hugs)))))

 

[indigodiva]

Thanks everyone! I don't know what I'd do with my LHCF support system...I feel like I shouldnt even have all these feelings b/c everyone keeps saying "Get Over it" ( my parents)...--like my feelings are a light switch and I can just turn them off! as far as they are concerned I'm completely over it. I wouldn't DARE let my mother see me cry over this...she's not a sensitive person, and she'd think i was being foolish..they dont know that we were intimately involved (they still rather believe that I am a virgin--long story)---they asked me were we involved and I said no, b/c that would have presented a WHOLE 'NOTHER Demon!

Anyway, thanks for the stories and words of encouragement, b/c i really need them

 

[LadyChe]

Hey indigodiva -

I think as women, we are blessed to be able to cry and express our feelings. It's much more damaging to pretend that you're not hurt and put up a brave front.

You invested a good amount of time to your relationship and it's going to take time to address all of the feelings associated with it. And sometimes, even though they love you - people tell you to "get over" things, because they really don't know HOW to deal with the emotional crisis that breakups can cause.

Girl, gimme a pm. I'll be a permanent shoulder for you!!!

(((HUGS)))

 

[Kalayani]

For any of you who have every had someone you loved with all your heart turn their back on you( break away from the relationship)...have you ever had a weird feeling, like deep down in the pit of your stomach....like its not a physical pain per se' but its like an ache you can't shake...


I mean I'm not asking how to get rid of it, but more along the lines of what is happening to me physically. I know I'm not sick or anything, but I know emotions can effect your body physically, and I'd like to know what is going on...


I dont have anyone I can talk to who really understands and so I have all these bottled up emotions! I've cried just about everyday this month and I just dont think this is healthy...I mean aren't u supposed to be able to get over people. There are moments in the day when I feel fine, and I think I'm over it, and then these different feelings keep sneaking up on me. I want to accept the situation, but its like my stupid heart isn't listening!!!! When I think rationally, then I'm ok, but I just cant hold on to whats rational all day no matter how hard I try. I am so sick of feeling like this. I went to church last night and I was ok, and I pray all day long asking God to release me from and I have my moments when I'm cool...but then I get like I am now with tears running down my face feeling a feeling i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...

And it all begins with this aching feeling in my gut, its like it starts there and before I know it, I've lost my damn composure!!!!!!! I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I really dont know how to handle these stages of a break up. I really am beginning to feel like I am manic or something. I mean keep trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and God is in control of everything, but during moments like these it feels like he's not even listening, b/c I asked him to take these stupid feelings away, and they keep returning. Is it too much to ask to want to feel normal again!!!!!! Maybe it could be due to the fact that I have not been with out a boyfriend for the past 4 years. ( I have only dated 2 guys so far, I'm 22 and they both lasted about 2 years)---

I mean please dont think I'm dumb, but I AM HURTING, and I just dont want to anymore. Its either be a wreck completely or convince myself that I am ok, only to have another one of these breakdowns. Somebody help me.

I'll even take just a virtual hug

First, i want to send you a big hug ...i know what you are feeling. With my last break-up the pain was in my chest. It felt like someone kicked me in the chest and i was losing my mind. The only thing that helped me was time and A LOT or prayer...a lot of prayer.

I remember the first month after the breakup i would cry to GOD asking him just to take the pain away. I would post a prayer that i read after my breakup, but i don`t want to step on any toes.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

No, you're not going crazy. It's hard. Sometimes it does feel like a physical pain. Like my mom told me,"today you're okay and that's okay, but tomorrow you might be so low you don't know what to do, and that's okay too. Get up, breathe, and I can promise you you will get over this" It made all the difference for me. You are more than allowed to feel this way. All I can say is this isn't the end; you'll find someone else. Don't call, take your time to grieve, and grieve, and sometimes that's what it feels like, like somebody died, and that is tough. But I know if I could do it then you can do it.

And here's all the hugs I can give you, and my favorite one.
Stay strong my fellow 22er! ((HUGS))

 

[aqualung]

Had a bad break up when I was 25.
My torso actually ached.
I threw myself into work and school stuff.
Redirected the energy and finished several major projects in record time.

I also saw a therapist after my friends got tired of hearing me whine and whimper. You can pay ppl to listen, but getting over the break up STILL takes as long as it takes.

 

[caribeandiva]

aww... *hugs*

 

[cocoberry10]

Whoo.

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt, the hat AND the sippy cup.

You will eventually get over it and love again but it's going to take time....

Til then fill your life with people and things that make you happy. It'll get easier.
Just take baby steps.

(((((Hugs)))))

 

[Cleve_gryl]

I know the exact feeling you have all too well...I had the worst break up of my life at age 27, we had been together for 4 years and I "thought" we were going to get married. He dumped me on my birthday, moved out of our apartment and basically left me for dead. I had to move back in with my parents, and all I wanted to do was cry and lay in the bed. My parents aren't emotional types either, so I had to suffer in silence. This too shall pass sis, I'll pray for you because I know a broken heart will make you feel like you want to die.

 

[Ms Red]

Keep on praying. I know the feeling but it WILL pass...

 

[MzLady78]

I know the exact feeling you have all too well...I had the worst break up of my life at age 27, we had been together for 4 years and I "thought" we were going to get married. He dumped me on my birthday, moved out of our apartment and basically left me for dead. I had to move back in with my parents, and all I wanted to do was cry and lay in the bed. My parents aren't emotional types either, so I had to suffer in silence. This too shall pass sis, I'll pray for you because I know a broken heart will make you feel like you want to die.

OMG- I so feel you. My mom isn't the emotional type either, so she really didn't know how hard a time I was having. I was literally in tears everyday for months and she had no clue.

And I can't believe the bastard left you on your birthday!!!

I swear, men can be so cruel sometimes, it's unbelieveable.