what to do about this rude guy?!

[Ayesha81]

Hi ladies

I broke off a relationship with this a guy I was dating bc he was rude. He is from Ghana, Africa has only been in this country for 4 years and is in the Navy. He would make rude, sacrastic, condescending whatever u want to call it remarks and throw things back in my face. We have gotten back together bc he said he has changed.

But it seems he has not changed, his rudeness seems to be appearing again and I just cant take it.

This was a text convo last nigt:
He asked me how my day was and I told him I had to get up earlier for work to attend a meeting. I was just sharing my day with him.

He goes on to say:
Ok! So my dear has to wake way early right? Sorry!!!
OMG! i know your "arse" dont like that.....! huh
The princess need to sleep well well now! Lol


The thing is we are not officially in a relationship, we are trying to get it back to that but he is just rude has heck! I dont think we can even be friends because he just dont know how to act. I need help ladies what should I do about this man?

 

[1QTPie]

Does he thinks that it's funny? Does he have a sarcastic nature overall or is he really just mean to you? I don't like his response at all. I would have had to call him out on that, like dude, what's your problem with me?

 

[Poohbear]

Did you have sex with him or something? If not, then I don't see why it's hard for you to let go after seeing he's still being rude to you...unless you are now willing to put up with it...

 

[Ayesha81]

He is a mean person in general. Yes he does have a sarcastic nature. Yes he was trying to be smart *** about it. I did call him out on it which I have done numerous times before and he seems to go back to his primitive ways. He said he understands and he will keep to his boundaries and is sorry for offending me.

 

[shenitab]

Are you ok with being a verbally abusive man five years from now or 10 years from now? Get out while it is still early. Cut him off 100%. He probably decided to "change" because u had an issue with his behavior. He isn't really going to change until he decides that he wants to do it for himself - even then, it isn't going to be easy and it is going to take a lot of time.

Cut him loose and get somebody who knows how to act. It could get a lot worse. You deserve someone who has empathy for other people and knows how to love and respect people. If you have a son with dude, would you want your son to treat people like that?

 

[Ayesha81]

No its not hard for me to let go. No I am not willing to put up with it. We were in a relationship for about a year but I broke up with him because I could no longer take his rudeness. He says wrong things at the wrong time. Other than that he is an ok person.

Did you have sex with him or something? If not, then I don't see why it's hard for you to let go after seeing he's still being rude to you...unless you are now willing to put up with it...

 

[MD_Lady]

...The thing is we are not officially in a relationship, we are trying to get it back to that but he is just rude has heck! I dont think we can even be friends because he just dont know how to act. I need help ladies what should I do about this man?

It sounds like you've answered your own question, Ayeshaluv.

 

[Ayesha81]

He is not going to change he's 33 And Im 31. We dont have kids........I will dodge this bullet lol

Are you ok with being a verbally abusive man five years from now or 10 years from now? Get out while it is still early. Cut him off 100%. He probably decided to "change" because u had an issue with his behavior. He isn't really going to change until he decides that he wants to do it for himself - even then, it isn't going to be easy and it is going to take a lot of time.

Cut him loose and get somebody who knows how to act. It could get a lot worse. You deserve someone who has empathy for other people and knows how to love and respect people. If you have a son with dude, would you want your son to treat people like that?

 

[Ayesha81]

quote quote quote

 

[nychaelasymone]

one word of advise......stop wasting time on people and situations that do not compliment your life. If you were diagnosed with a terminal illness, would you even think to entertain this man? Life is short and its sad to look back and realize you've wasted your time on someone who didn't deserve you.............

 

[Foxglove]

Did you have sex with him or something? If not, then I don't see why it's hard for you to let go after seeing he's still being rude to you...unless you are now willing to put up with it...

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Why can't you just cut him off and be done with it if he's such a dick

 

[ElegantPearl17]

Let him be. It's not worth the headache.

 

[Poohbear]

No its not hard for me to let go. No I am not willing to put up with it. We were in a relationship for about a year but I broke up with him because I could no longer take his rudeness. He says wrong things at the wrong time. Other than that he is an ok person.

Okay, well if you are not willing to put up with it, then cut him loose.

Or is it that you have this blind faith in him that he will eventually change his rude behavior?

Your situation makes me think of my best friend who used to date an African man. She would tell me and complain to me all the time about this man's mean words toward her and rude behavior. I'm glad she is no longer with him.

 

[Ayesha81]

It is blind faith. Someone's natural personality can not be changed only if they become conscious about it. Wishful thinking on my part.......oh well.

Or is it that you have this blind faith in him that he will eventually change his rude behavior?

 

[Lucie]

Sorry OP but how can you be with a "mean person in general?" Does he treat the waitstaff rude as well? Family? Friends? Strangers. Leave that dude alone and be grateful you dodged that mean bullet.

 

[Lucie]

It is blind faith. Someone's natural personality can not be changed only if they become conscious about it. Wishful thinking on my part.......oh well.

Knowledge is not power. It's knowledge coupled with action. He IS conscious of his behavior but has already reverted to his old ways. If he really is/was going to change he'd seek help or get some self-improvement books.

 

[msdeevee]

What did Oprah say?

When a person shows you who they are believe them.

 

[Hairsnob]

Reminds me of a guy I dealt with who was insecure. I'll never forget the time I was telling him about a problem I was having with my son and how I resolved it for him. He started singing (under his breath) the Mighty Mouse theme "Here I come to save the day" as if to say I was saving my son or bragging about helping him or something. He had his own issues (jealousy, insecurity) because he wasn't where he wanted to be in life so he was jealous of me. But seriously, his text sounds JUST like him with that sarcastic tone. Run fast girlie, run FAST!!!