What is better for black hair - relaxing or pressing?

[pyxis777]

Ok ladies, I'm trying to make an educated decision on what I should do with my bottom of my neck length natural hair. Currently I'm wearing it straight - getting a deep condition/press and curl every 2 weeks. I came out of braids in September, and I was wearing twists until early November. My hair is in moderate health - I have a bit more breakage than normal b/c it's the winter and the air is dry, but mostly shedding, and not too much of that.

The issues are as follows:
1) I like to wear my hair straight with a slight bend from pin curls.
2) My scalp needs more cleansing and moisturizing than it gets in 2 weeks and I would like to be able to wash my hair myself - I start seeing mild flaking and dandruff around day 4-5.

The stylist I go to now blows my hair out and then straightens it w/ a hotcomb and uses a curling iron to curl the ends. She uses a marcel iron. I'm afraid this may be too harsh for my hair in the long run. I have been going to her for 2 months. Also, if the stylist doesn't wash my hair then the other hair washer is too rough for me. If someone has suggestions for a salon in the South Jersey/Philly area PLEASE let me know.

I have done my own hair in the past, but I'm NOT skilled at it. I'm willing to do my own and buy a new flat iron - the maxiglide was suggested - but if I'm washing my own hair more and straightening it more (and innadequately) then there's more potential of damage.

I have had my hair and scalp messed up by many a stylist. I don't want the progress - the longest my hair has been in my life - to go away b/c the stylist can't do the relaxer right and my hair breaks off. And/or I get nasty scabs up in my scalp. Also, I'm definitely not skilled enough to do my own relaxer, so that's out. Still, I know if I could get up the courage to bite the bullet with the relaxer, I would be able to do rollersets and conditioner wash it when my head got itchy no problem!

I am set on keeping my hair in a straight style - trust me, I've tried many natural styles, and they aren't flattering on me. More power to you sisters who can rock afros and afro styles. I wish I was one!

Ok, so any thoughts, LHCF experts? Would it be better deal with the dandruff and press and curl bi weekly, or chance it with the relaxer - she would use Affirm Mild Lye on my hair.

Please help!

 

[CAPlush]

I wear a press, and I know what you mean about the heat. Try to see if your stylist will make a few knots secured with a clippy and sit you under the dryer instead of blow drying. Also, my stylist uses the comb only on the roots, and straightens the rest with a flat iron. Let her know you are a bit worried about heat damage, and see if she will accomadate a reduced heat routine at least every other visit. And your going to need a deep conditioner every visit. I do have heat damage, but my hair is much closer to being as strong as it was when it wore it au naturale than a perm. The hard thing about pressed hair is the cleansing routine. Sometimes I go 3 weeks in the winter, and 2 weeks in the summer when there's sweat to contend with. I use WGO to keep my hair moisturized and keep my scalp in shape.

Sometimes flakes aren't from dryness, they can also be from oiliness. I'm sure you know the cause of your own flakes, but I just wanted to insert that comment.

 

[Healthb4Length]

How about a texturizer? It gives the option of semi-natural hair and you can use a flat iron to straighten it out.

I forgot to mention that with a texturizer you can still wear twistsouts, afros, braids and a plethora of styling options.

 

[caligirl]

I was in your EXACT same boat. I used to get my hair washed and pressed every 3 weeks and it did beautifully. Then I moved to a new city and couldn't find anyone to press my hair without damage. So I got a perm thinking it would be easy to take care. I hated my hair from the very first perm. My once thick bushy, curly ponytail was now a thin, pathetic stringy mess. With a press, I could put my hair in two braids at night, workout in the morning, and have beautiful wavy hair all day. With a perm, my hair wouldn't wave up, no matter how much setting lotion I used. My vote would be to try natural styles (braidouts are really pretty if you use a denman brush to get the hair really smooth), and get good at blowdrying/flatironing your hair yourself. Doesn't it suck to HAVE to get your hair done by someone else every 2 weeks?

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I say you need to do what's best for you and your lifestlye. Even if I was to say stay natural and someone else says relax, it's just our advice but may not be the solution to YOUR problem. If you relax you may regrete it but, are you prepared for that disappoitment?, if you were to stay natural ask your self will it be overwhelming and inconvient for you? I wanted to go natural from looking at the lovely naturals on this board, but to be honest w/myself I know I would only end up Maxigliding away every 4days because those are the hairstyles I prefer and I would only be fooling myself to go natural, and would never get the benefit of seeing and having fun w/my natural hair because it's just not me.

 

[pyxis777]

Sometimes flakes aren't from dryness, they can also be from oiliness. I'm sure you know the cause of your own flakes, but I just wanted to insert that comment.

How do you know the cause of flakes?

How about a texturizer? It gives the option of semi-natural hair and you can use a flat iron to straighten it out.

I don't know much about texturizers, but I'll have to ask my stylist tomorrow when I get my hair done. Are they more mild? Are there strengths of texturizers? I think I would want less rather than mroe curls.

Doesn't it suck to HAVE to get your hair done by someone else every 2 weeks?

Caligirl - yes, yes and YES. All the perms I've had have left it feeling lifeless and thin. Although I must admit I didn't know half as much then as I did now. I've be re-relaxed b/c the relaxer didn't take, had the relaxer left on waaaaay too long, had drying sprays put all over it, too much brushing, heat every day... It does suck to have to pay for my hair every few weeks. I'm kinda just feeling damned if i do damned if i don't as far as going to the salon.

If you relax you may regrete it but, are you prepared for that disappoitment?, if you were to stay natural ask your self will it be overwhelming and inconvient for you?

I guess the bottom line is that if I relax I may regret it. If I stay natural, I would continue to get it pressed and it would be expensive, but not overly inconvient and the heat may end up being too much.

I'm still praying about this whole decision.

Thanks ladies for the feedback. Please respond if possible.

Anyone else have thoughts?

 

[aminata]

I don't have any advice--but wait at least two weeks before making any decision. --Think it over, especially with a chemical service. I think that way you are less likely to have any regrets.

Also there are a lot of threads on texturizers if you need any info.

 

[pyxis777]

Have any naturals decided to go with pressing every week? Have you had much heat damage?

I know what kind of damage relaxing the hair can do, but what about long-term pressing? When I was a kid I had my hair pressed once a week by my mom. My hair was never that long then either.

 

[Country gal]

Can you just accept more non straight styles? I loved braidouts when I was relaxed. I don't concern myself with straight hair anymore. I just let it look wild and crazy. I think pressing too often is not good for your hair. I am curious of some of the natural's opinion.

What does your natural hair look like without the pressing?

 

[blueabyss333]

Can you guys help me with a similar problem? The only thing is, I'm relaxed trying to stretch. I don't want to take over your thread so I'm going to create a spinoff. TIA.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I press my cousins hair every 3wks, for her that wait in btwn is nothing for her, she doesn't get the itches and flakes and stuff. But when I was younger I went to the hair salon every wk to get a press, as long as the stylist doesn't use to much heat when pressing you should be fine and always get a deep condition and treatments when needed to keep it up, plus they need to use a good heat protectant, if they don't over a period of time your hair can become permanently straight from heat damage. You'll be able to see it when you shampoo your hair the ends will not revert back. Maybe you should wear it pressed one wk, shampoo and DC at home and wear a nice twist out or braid out that wk. that way your hair gets a break in btwn and so does your pockets. Texturizing is also an option it allows you to be able to go from the natural look to relaxed in just minutes get yourself a good old Maxiglide or ceramic flat iron of your choice and you'll be set. Other wise I say pray on it and ask God to guide in the direction that will be best for you. This always works for me and I'm never let down, it's called the prayer of guidance. Some things may seem small and we end up making decisions we regret, but prayer always works out in the end for the better, surely He doesn't give us more than we can handle. HTH's

Have any naturals decided to go with pressing every week? Have you had much heat damage?

I know what kind of damage relaxing the hair can do, but what about long-term pressing? When I was a kid I had my hair pressed once a week by my mom. My hair was never that long then either.

 

[Candy_C]

Can you just accept more non straight styles? I loved braidouts when I was relaxed. I don't concern myself with straight hair anymore. I just let it look wild and crazy. I think pressing too often is not good for your hair. I am curious of some of the natural's opinion.

What does your natural hair look like without the pressing?

i hate having my hair straight. i'm glad i got it relaxed as i couldn't handle my natural texture, thankfully i have kink and curls when i airdry, i wouldn't trade em for the world...i dont think you should relax your hair. and the straight look aint all that, but i guess its what u like. just dont do it too often. probabley every 3 weeks, i still think every 2 weeks is a lot. when i was natural (6 yrs ago) i always had braided styles or a big sexy afro.

 

[MysTori]

That's the great thing about appliances, they have settings that you can adjust accordingly, not like the "pressing comb" and stove heat back in the day. If you do press it, who says it has to be bone straight? You could probably have it on a low setting and press it enough to "texturize". Not too kinky, not too straight. I'm sure that whatever your decision, you'll be happy with it Good luck!

 

[cece22]

I guess the question is are you going to wear your hair straight all of the time? If the answer is yes then you should consider possible relaxing not bone straight though or why not flat iron lighlty? The reason I say this is I know a young natural who had her hair pressed all the time her presses were getting thinner and her hair was getting damaged. I thought why won't her mom just perm it she could do roller sets and keep all that heat off her hair. The decision is yours you provide the answer heat is damaging so is the relaxer you can keep some of the hairs thickness by relaxing 85% and doing rollersets this way the ends, roots and shaft is not re-cooked every week or three weeks but you will have to do touch ups. Or you can lightly flatiron or wear some more natural styles. Or try pressing less frequently wearing the hair in natural syles for 2-weeks then pressed for 2-weeks. To keep some of the heat off the hair and are you washing frequently? and keeping the hair moisturized? Trying to hold a press can cause damage by not using proper moisturizers.

 

[pet]

I say go with pressing. You can always get your natural hair back if you change your mind. My mom presses my hair for me every three weeks, and even though it gets a little dirty before then, I can manage. I have seen too many people with a relaxer, that have no hair after a while.

 

[Lioness]

Ok ladies, I'm trying to make an educated decision on what I should do with my bottom of my neck length natural hair. Currently I'm wearing it straight - getting a deep condition/press and curl every 2 weeks. I came out of braids in September, and I was wearing twists until early November. My hair is in moderate health - I have a bit more breakage than normal b/c it's the winter and the air is dry, but mostly shedding, and not too much of that.

The issues are as follows:
1) I like to wear my hair straight with a slight bend from pin curls.
2) My scalp needs more cleansing and moisturizing than it gets in 2 weeks and I would like to be able to wash my hair myself - I start seeing mild flaking and dandruff around day 4-5.

The stylist I go to now blows my hair out and then straightens it w/ a hotcomb and uses a curling iron to curl the ends. She uses a marcel iron. I'm afraid this may be too harsh for my hair in the long run. I have been going to her for 2 months. Also, if the stylist doesn't wash my hair then the other hair washer is too rough for me. If someone has suggestions for a salon in the South Jersey/Philly area PLEASE let me know.

I have done my own hair in the past, but I'm NOT skilled at it. I'm willing to do my own and buy a new flat iron - the maxiglide was suggested - but if I'm washing my own hair more and straightening it more (and innadequately) then there's more potential of damage.

I have had my hair and scalp messed up by many a stylist. I don't want the progress - the longest my hair has been in my life - to go away b/c the stylist can't do the relaxer right and my hair breaks off. And/or I get nasty scabs up in my scalp. Also, I'm definitely not skilled enough to do my own relaxer, so that's out. Still, I know if I could get up the courage to bite the bullet with the relaxer, I would be able to do rollersets and conditioner wash it when my head got itchy no problem!

I am set on keeping my hair in a straight style - trust me, I've tried many natural styles, and they aren't flattering on me. More power to you sisters who can rock afros and afro styles. I wish I was one!

Ok, so any thoughts, LHCF experts? Would it be better deal with the dandruff and press and curl bi weekly, or chance it with the relaxer - she would use Affirm Mild Lye on my hair.

Please help!

I know EXACTLY what you mean!!!
I still kninda deliberate about whether I should relax, or just keep on pressing...

But I just keep on wearing weaves to delay the decision!

I don't like relaxers because I feel that they take away the body of hair, and since I became natural three-four years ago, my hair actually feels like...hair! Thick and strong, and it's grown longer than ever and faster than ever (could be the vitamins though...) I feel like my hair doesn't need a relaxer as I can handle it...and it's not 'nappy' its afro/wavy .

Another frightening fact about relaxers is that the main ingredient in relaxers is a harsh chemical used to disolve stuff in drains

I've been pressing my hair once every 3-5 months, and what I have noticed, is that regular pressing eventually permanently straightens the hair. So if you keep on using your heat protectant, deep conditioning and taking care of your ends, your hair should stay healthy because eventually, as your hair straightens permanently from all the pressing, you'll be straightening less, at least thats the case for me
Well, hth
And it's true, prayer is always the key to finding a light in the darkness of indecisiveness!

Summa Bliss
mwoah

 

[angelk316]

I say go with pressing.
Chemicals weather you relax or texturize are not good for you hair niether is it good for you health.

 

[pyxis777]

Ok, I went to get my hair pressed tonight. My stylist said that she would be using Affirm mild creme relaxer. When I asked her if it was lye or no lye she said that all relaxers have lye in them. She said the creme has no lye in it but you add a liquid that has some lye in it?

I'm all confused.

I think I'm gonna go w/ the relaxer - mostly so I don't have to keep going in there and I can mostly do it myself except the touch ups- but first I'm gonna make sure that it's Affirm mild LYE...

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Ok, I went to get my hair pressed tonight. My stylist said that she would be using Affirm mild creme relaxer. When I asked her if it was lye or no lye she said that all relaxers have lye in them. She said the creme has no lye in it but you add a liquid that has some lye in it?

I'm all confused.

I think I'm gonna go w/ the relaxer - mostly so I don't have to keep going in there and I can mostly do it myself except the touch ups- but first I'm gonna make sure that it's Affirm mild LYE...

Y Y! happy to see that you came to a decision, be sure that she uses what you want her to use, even if you have to bring your own. Lye is better for the hair, IMO.

 

[blueabyss333]

Ok, I went to get my hair pressed tonight. My stylist said that she would be using Affirm mild creme relaxer. When I asked her if it was lye or no lye she said that all relaxers have lye in them. She said the creme has no lye in it but you add a liquid that has some lye in it?

I'm all confused.

I think I'm gonna go w/ the relaxer - mostly so I don't have to keep going in there and I can mostly do it myself except the touch ups- but first I'm gonna make sure that it's Affirm mild LYE...

Funny you should say that. Now I want to go natural and press. I'm trying to grow my edges and nape out. They've never been in good shape ever since I relaxed. My hair was the longest (shoulder blades) and strongest when I was younger and my mother would press my hair at the stove.

 

[pyxis777]

I think the bottom line is that I trust them more to perform a decent perm - esp if it's the first one, so no overlapping issues than to continue using those marcel irons over a long period of time.

I am looking forward to doing rollersets and moisturizing routines myself! They charge friggin 40 bucks for a roller set. I don't think so! Also, I don't mind stretching the relaxer for longer periods of time. Before I got my job, money was definitely an issue for me, so I would stretch out of necessity. I would only go in for a touch up. Of course I went to some pretty incompetant people who made me feel guilty. Not b/c my hair was in bad shape per se (I did use too much heat on it in between visits to the hairdresser), but b/c they wanted me to come in more often - the result - huge "trims" that were really a cut!

I think with the knowledge and examples I have on this site of women who have been successful keeping their hair with a relaxer, I will be able to maintain the health of my hair much better than any stylist I know of could.

I guess I've come to the conclusion that pressing and relaxing are only as good as the person who performs them and the maintenance in between...

So, basically - no conclusion... yet...

P.S.
My sister's hair is the same type as mine and she's natural too. Her hair is a little longer than mine. She gets a press once or twice every couple of months and keeps hers weaved up b/c she's at school. I guess this time next year we can compare and see how we're doing. Although, a weave is kinda cheating as far as the pressing vs. relaxer comparison. As soon as I get my camera I can take before pictures and I guess every couple of months give an update.

 

[sugaplum]

What a great thread. It is very informative.

I done the BC in July 2005 and it is the best decision of my life. I've been permed since I was 12 years old.

Over time I can say that the perming of my hair did more bad then good. I recall on how much money I would spend on split end treatments, protien treatments, etc. But the truth of the matter is dead hair is just that...DEAD. My hair felt stringy, dry, and I experienced shedding like you wouldn't believe.

Now I'm chemical-free and I love it. I do not use any heat on my hair at all. My hair is thriving everyday.

 

[pyxis777]

What a great thread. It is very informative.

I done the BC in July 2005 and it is the best decision of my life. I've been permed since I was 12 years old.

Over time I can say that the perming of my hair did more bad then good. I recall on how much money I would spend on split end treatments, protien treatments, etc. But the truth of the matter is dead hair is just that...DEAD. My hair felt stringy, dry, and I experienced shedding like you wouldn't believe.

Now I'm chemical-free and I love it. I do not use any heat on my hair at all. My hair is thriving everyday.

Thanks, Sugaplum!

Why do you think you had so much damage as far as the relaxer goes? What kind were you using? I'm asking b/c I have read in several threads problems with stylists not using reconstructors and such! I'm thinking about starting another thread to find out what steps should be taken when performing the relaxer so that I can make SURE they are taken when I get my hair done. I wouldn't be surprised if many hairdressers skipped steps maximize profits by not using enough chemicals. I can take the fact that my hair might not do well under chemical treatments - heck, I've been growing my hair out this long... But I would be crushed if the reason why is b/c I didn't get the full treatment!

Going totally heat/chemical free is awesome! That's not the right choice for me, I'm glad that you were able to find something that worked great for you.

We'll see where my hair journey takes me... I'm nervous and excited too!

 

[Mestiza]

b u m p

 

[blackbarbie]

I have been considering whether to transition or not (made the final decision last week) and in doing so, looked at it as six in one hand or half a dozen in the other - heat or chemicals.

The last stretch i did was 16 weeks and during the touch up, I really felt that as the stylist was pulling the perm through my new growth (it was a good bit of NG), he was so rough that I knew something bad had to be going on. Well when I got home and even as the days went by I would come up on more and more patches of 7 or 8 strands of short hair grouped together - at different places in my head. And it was at the point where it looks like it broke off after the NG. It can only get worse if i continue to perm b/c my goal was to stretch longer than 16 weeks the next time. I started toying with the idea of going natural then, but wondered if having heat (maxiglide) in my head once a week was more damaging than chemicals.

I was natural until I was 18 and with the texture of my hair, my mother could just lightly warm the hot comb (wasn't that hot; could almost touch it) and straighten my hair out, so I think I will be able to get by with the maxiglide on 1 or 2 setting. (I really like my natural texture too but think I will wear my hair straighter more often). Even whenever the salon blow dries it out, it gets very straight and he only has to bump the ends. My hair was much thicker when I was younger and my mother has been pressing her hair weekly for all of her life (with the exception of the very short time she called herself getting a perm and absolutely HATED it; vowed to let it grow out the very first time she had to do a rollerset) and her hair is still very thick and healthy looking..............

My problem is to get skilled enough to use the flat iron. What usually happens is that I get tired and don't do some of the sections very well, so everything is not laying down nicely.......I am 4 weeks post right now and will continue to rollerset for a while, but I will practice patience (and prayer) to get me through this transition.

 

[angelbaby]

It's basically a matter of what's easiest for you. I've had problems when I straightened my hair and I've had problems when I relaxed my hair. I've been able to achieve different textures with both relaxed and natural hair. I decided to go with relaxing because I found it takes less time and effort for me to do my hair. I don't like having to do braidouts and twisting, etc. I just want to wash my hair, pull it in a bun and go. My hair has been healthy both ways, but I actually achieved less breakage with a relaxer. I guess it all depends on how well you know how to work with what you are dealing with.