What if you picked the wrong "one"?

[MrsBKJ]

With all the cheating and other women threads I thought I'd ask a question.

What would you do if you got with somebody, long term relationship maybe even a baby or two but then you realised it was out of convenience or habit but that you actually didnt love that person. (or worse for some of you moral folk you actually loved somebody else?? GASP! )

I know I'm going to get the "how can you do all that without somebody you love", but truth is it happens and it happens often.

I know it happens because we grow we change our ideals develop or new ones are added etc.

What would you do? What would be the "right" (I say this very loosly) thing to do?


Thanks ladies

Uzz

oh and ps lets not get catty...

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Tell him how you feel and end it. Why stay in a relationship that don't want to be in? I think that can open the door to cheating, which, for some, may be the "easy" way out- you know your SO will break up with you if you cheat (in most cases), so you cheat because you're too much of a punk to end it.

 

[Cichelle]

If there are children involved there is a lot to consider. Otherwise, I would lean towards leaving. It's so hard to answer because it depends on the particulars of the situation.

 

[MrsBKJ]

Oh gosh this isnt about me I was just wondering purely hypothetically...Alhamdulillah Im very in love and so he is...

But thanks for responses


Uzz

 

[SugarBaby]

With all the cheating and other women threads I thought I'd ask a question.

What would you do if you got with somebody, long term relationship maybe even a baby or two but then you realised it was out of convenience or habit but that you actually didnt love that person. (or worse for some of you moral folk you actually loved somebody else?? GASP! )

I know I'm going to get the "how can you do all that without somebody you love", but truth is it happens and it happens often.

I know it happens because we grow we change our ideals develop or new ones are added etc.
What would you do? What would be the "right" (I say this very loosly) thing to do?


Thanks ladies

Uzz

oh and ps lets not get catty...

I like to think this is just apart of life, we do change and evolve and sometimes not at the same time. I would like to "think" that I would be able to remember the qualitities that I do love and allow those to sustain us through our time we are not in synch.

I have learned that no man can bring you happiness and that you have to create that happiness w/i yourself.

My desire would be that as we learning to "cope" w/ the out of synch time; We communicate our desires, concerns and he "Hears" me enough to develope his way of evolving (not dictated by me) to satisfy himself first and together as a couple.

 

[MrsBKJ]

I like to think this is just apart of life, we do change and evolve and sometimes not at the same time. I would like to "think" that I would be able to remember the qualitities that I do love and allow those to sustain us through our time we are not in synch.

I have learned that no man can bring you happiness and that you have to create that happiness w/i yourself.

My desire would be that as we learning to "cope" w/ the out of synch time; We communicate our desires, concerns and he "Hears" me enough to develope his way of evolving (not dictated by me) to satisfy himself first and together as a couple.

I am a big believer in growing to love the person you are with and not neccesarily being with the one you love. I do agree with you to a large extent because communication is key and walking away is not easy esp as stated above if children are involved etc.
But I do think at some point somebody would just say "ya know this really isnt working".
I would also say that the right man (or person) can bring a lot of happiness t your life just as negative folk can bring negativity and drain you "wholesome and happy" people can really enhance your life.

Thanks for your response sugar

Uzz

 

[Ms Red]

Bumping ......

 

[klb120475]

Dang Rachi sounds like you just summed my life up.

Here's what I did: I left him.

I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my natural born life with someone I didn't love. I deserve happiness and to be in a healthy loving relationship.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

If there are children involved there is a lot to consider. Otherwise, I would lean towards leaving. It's so hard to answer because it depends on the particulars of the situation.

ITA....if there are kids then I would lean towards staying, no kids then I would probably leave.

 

[MrsBKJ]

Dang Rachi sounds like you just summed my life up.

Here's what I did: I left him.

I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my natural born life with someone I didn't love. I deserve happiness and to be in a healthy loving relationship.

Hey girl...hope you are doing well...and staying out of trouble...im sorry what am i thinking you and "trubble" go hand in hand

lmao

Uzz

 

[MrsBKJ]

ITA....if there are kids then I would lean towards staying, no kids then I would probably leave.

I understand this I do and I respect it because it is not easy. BUT
is that always better for the kids? Are they learning that you settle for someone/a situation/whatever because of them? Does that not fill a child with guilt?

I know Im probably going OT but id like to understand.

Thanks

uzz