Wearing Your Natural Hair out after Transitioning

[Country gal]

I wore my hair with a scarve back today with my natural hair for the first time. It was a challenge for me. I have never worn an afro out in public that I can remember. I felt a little nervous about it. I saw another girl with the same hair style as me and I was like cool. It was a little scary.

 

[Shatani]

i know what you mean....its been a long time for me, but i still remember the first time i decided to wear my fro out....it was NERVE RACKING! i was young, in undergrad....self conscious....no one had every seen my hair, i had been wearing extensions for convenience and protections....so, i was super nervous....i never saw anyone else with my hair style, so that wasnt what made me feel better...it was all the compliments!! everyone i saw (even a couple of people i didnt know) were gushing over my hair and how cute and curly it was....that was when i relaxed a bit...

i got that same nervous feeling when i wore my hair out for the first time in grad school...again id been wearing extensions for convenience (we had TWO 8am classes!!!) and i was nervous....but again, it went well....but this time, it wasnt a make or break situation...i was just afraid i was gonna have to kick somebody's booty up in grad school

 

[honeycomb719]

Congrats sbaker. I'm waiting on the day I can wear my hair out natural. Im sure I will be a nervous wreck too...

 

[Country gal]

@ kicking booty in grad school. I think because I just got rid of my weave and now sporting my natural hair is a big transition for me.
My aunt looked at me with a shocked look when she saw my hair today but did not comment. So that didn't help with my insecurites.

 

[Country gal]

Thanks, honey. I am getting it pressed tomorrow. I am glad that it has grown enough where the shrinkage doesn't bother me as much.

Congrats sbaker. I'm waiting on the day I can wear my hair out natural. Im sure I will be a nervous wreck too...

 

[Poohbear]

I bet your hair looks great! I cant wait to sport an afro!

 

[Peachtree]

Oh goodness, I remember when I wore my natural hair down for the 1st time (to work). I was sooo uncomfortable. I could not wait for the lunch hr to come, just so that I could check out my hair in the bathroom mirror (( to make sure it was looking like it did when I left the house ))
Once I made it through day 1, I began feeling more comfortable about wearing it out.

Now, shooot, I'll wear my out/down in a second! Although in this harsh weather, I've been keeping it twisted or in a bun for protection.

Sbaker, I would to see ur fro!!! Where's the pics girlfriend?

 

[Nay]

Peachtree, your hair looks too pretty in that pic! I'm lovin' it

 

[Peachtree]

Peachtree, your hair looks too pretty in that pic! I'm lovin' it

Thanks Nay

 

[Divastate]

Sbaker congrats on making it all the way to natural! I can't wait to see pics of your fro and your press.

I got lucky- when I finally did my big chop I was on my way to a Jill Scott concert. I felt so at home/at peace there because so much of the audience was natural, it was an incredibly freeing experience.

 

[Enchantmt]

I completely understand. It was hard for me too, especially after my moms reaction to me cutting it. She made me feel like the ugly duckling. I only had one person give me a shocked look but I think its because the scarf I had on had gone askew. I went into the bathroom on my lunch and I was lookin crazy. I've given up on scarves and just do the ouchless headband thingy. Its only been about a month for me now but I'm more comfortable. Most of the feed back has been positive. I still get a lil nervous when folx look at me too long tho.

 

[Country gal]

Once I made it to DC yesterday, I felt better. Cause I know natural heads are abundant. I was nervous that I didn't get the look right. I just brushed it back with a scarve. I saw another natural head sista so I felt alright.

Sbaker congrats on making it all the way to natural! I can't wait to see pics of your fro and your press.

I got lucky- when I finally did my big chop I was on my way to a Jill Scott concert. I felt so at home/at peace there because so much of the audience was natural, it was an incredibly freeing experience.

 

[Country gal]

I did think about my LHCF sistas yesterday. I was like they need to see me rock my TWA. I couldn't find my charger for the camera batteries or else I would have snapped some pics.

Enchantment- I pulled my hair back in a pony tail since I am goign to be around my peeps. They can't handle my natural hair. Folks will start thinking on she is doing so bad, can't afford to perm her hair.

What is so surprising that many of my family members grew up during the 60's and 70's when the fro was popularized. Those same folks will look at you funny for sporting one.

 

[Country gal]

My family's response to my hair was not positive. My uncle said I need a perm. My granmother said it was so thick and healthy but did I expect to wear nappy hair to work.

So my cousin pressed it for me and it looks really healthy.

 

[ChocolateCutee]

Hey everyone, been natural for about 2 years now and I know how you feel. I also felt aprehensive the first time I wore my hair out. I THOUGHT everyone was looking at me but it was in my head.

Now I feel sooo proud to wear my hair out. I have NO problem wearing out. I just love it. You will too

Don't want to put a downer on things but don't you think its a bit sad that we can't feel comfortable to wear our hair naturally without having to feel embarrased or ashamed of our hair? I think in the States ppl react differently to natural hair than here in the UK. I haven't had any negative coments or weird looks. It hasn't stopped me from finding a job etc.

wearing your hair how you feel comfortable will give you more confidence in battling all the negative vibes from others. Don't let their ignorance get you down. Its not your fault that they can't see the beauty in nappy hair, no matter what texture it is. Be glad you got it on ya head. No other race has it

So I say to all those who feel a bit nervous of wearing their natural strands out, don't feel ashamed or nervous. Its thier problem NOT yours

 

[PretteePlease]

well congrats on wearing it out. dont worry the more you wear it out the more natural it will feel

 

[Country gal]

I don't know if it a just a state thing. I do feel that some US blacks look at you strange or think you are pro-black if you were your hair natural or in my case nappy natural. I just kept hearing the word nappy thrown around while wearing my fro.

Hey everyone, been natural for about 2 years now and I know how you feel. I also felt aprehensive the first time I wore my hair out. I THOUGHT everyone was looking at me but it was in my head.

Now I feel sooo proud to wear my hair out. I have NO problem wearing out. I just love it. You will too

Don't want to put a downer on things but don't you think its a bit sad that we can't feel comfortable to wear our hair naturally without having to feel embarrased or ashamed of our hair? I think in the States ppl react differently to natural hair than here in the UK. I haven't had any negative coments or weird looks. It hasn't stopped me from finding a job etc.

wearing your hair how you feel comfortable will give you more confidence in battling all the negative vibes from others. Don't let their ignorance get you down. Its not your fault that they can't see the beauty in nappy hair, no matter what texture it is. Be glad you got it on ya head. No other race has it

So I say to all those who feel a bit nervous of wearing their natural strands out, don't feel ashamed or nervous. Its thier problem NOT yours

 

[balisi]

I felt a little apprehensive too when I first went to work and school with my hair natural, not knowing how "they" would respond to my natural texture. It took me a minute before I realized that my "out" style qualified as a fro, something I NEVER thought I'd wear or want to wear. I got so many positive reactions and compliments in the meantime. The thing is, I felt so good as a natural haired sister that the self confidence I exuded must have worked in my favor. I felt beautiful with short, natural hair! It suits me perfectly (duh!). Sometimes when women see a sister rocking a fierce natural style, they look on with admiration, respect and a little envy, wishing they were bold enough to do that.

 

[mkstar826]

congrats! i was nervous the first time too. i had to go to school to pick up something and i felt like everyone was looking at my hair (probably weren't but i just felt like it). then each day after that the nervousness slowly went away. now i rarely even think about it when i go out. only time i really think about it is if i have a big fro and i know people are going to look. but i love my hair and i don't care what anyone else thinks. it's very liberating to feel that way.

 

[Sascha]

I so know how you feel. The first time I wore my hair out I was going to my husbands sister's house for a gathering. They are mostly white. My husband is half white half mexican. I was sooo uncomfortable. I just knew they would all be thinking "here comes the crazy black girl with her crazy hair" LOL. Everyone acted normal until we were about to leave, then my niece says. "Aunt Sascha, your hair is so pretty, how did you do that?" The question kinda made me embarassed but I explained that this is pretty much the way it grows out of my head. Next the adults chimed in for about 30 more min about hair and chemicals.

Now I am as comfortable with my hair as I can be. I am going through a massive insecurity problem with my entire appearance. My weight, teeth, face and so on. So its always something =)

I cant wait to see pic, Im sure you look great!

 

[Ayeshia]

Congrats!!!!! I guess the expeirence for me wasn't as scary because I did the BC and I had no other choice but to wear it out. But when I finally did my blowout afetr my hair grew longer, I was kinda nervous that it would be too big.

 

[Tru_Mind]

I wore my natural hair out to work a couple of weeks ago. Seems like everyday before that day was harm...but the day I decide to let my hair air-dry I walk outside with damp hair and it was cold. I thought ok today is not going to be a good day.

I was wrong! It was warm inside of course, and my hair dried completely in the next hour or so...but I was checking my hair in everything that had a reflection(glass windows, doors, computer screens(turned off), etc.

 

[alibi]

I just wore my natural hair out for the first time since transitioning this week. I transitioned for 18 months flat ironing then buns, chopped in Dec., wore more phony tail buns, got a weave for 7 weeks, and just took it out last week. I was gonna get the weave again, but I just got tired of hiding my hair. I was so liberating to just was my hair, pull it back in a low puff, and go to work! Everyone LOVED my hair! The response was overwhelming! I don't think I'm even gonna bother with the weave anymore, I think I'm just gonna let my hair do its thing! Congrats to everyone for having the courage to rock what you got!

 

[Country gal]

That's great A. It does feel liberating.

I just wore my natural hair out for the first time since transitioning this week. I transitioned for 18 months flat ironing then buns, chopped in Dec., wore more phony tail buns, got a weave for 7 weeks, and just took it out last week. I was gonna get the weave again, but I just got tired of hiding my hair. I was so liberating to just was my hair, pull it back in a low puff, and go to work! Everyone LOVED my hair! The response was overwhelming! I don't think I'm even gonna bother with the weave anymore, I think I'm just gonna let my hair do its thing! Congrats to everyone for having the courage to rock what you got!

 

[jainygirl]

Don't feel like you have to press your hair for it to look good. Remember, you want your natural hair to be as healthy and strong as possible. If your family has issues, let them get over their issues. Don't let their insecurities change your love for your hair.

Exactly. Let them deal with their hair issues on their own time. Dont let it affect how you view your own hair though . -- jainygirl

 

[Country gal]

Jainy, that is a beautiful picture. My son loves my natural hair and wants to grow a fro.

I know you and Brownie are right. It is hard to keep their comments out of my head. My grandmother asked me did I get a perm last night when I told her I got my hair done. I told her no, I don't get perms anymore I am natural. She says you mean that nappy stuff. I said yes, my hair is nappy. I wasn't born with permed hair so why should I be ashamed of my natural hair. She was like there are a lot of things you are not born with but you still wear them. So I just know the fam will just not accept my new direction for my hair.

 

[Brownie]

I know you and Brownie are right. It is hard to keep their comments out of my head. I just know the fam will just not accept my new direction for my hair.

You're going to have to surround yourself with positive people, or images, or something. Like you could put some pictures of naturals on your mirror at home, or bulletin board. Do some fun stuff with your hair like buy some pretty headbands, or accessories---New hair products, combs, brushes. Make yourself feel good about your hair because at the end of the day, that's whose opinion matters.

Also if they get used to seeing you with straight hair (pressed), they are never going to change their opinion. If they get used to seeing you with natural hair day in and day out, they'll probably stop putting in their 2 cents. Another thing, you have to also work on the way you feel about your hair. I think I sense a little insecurity. People can be mean. If your hair isn't bone straight; they'll talk and say all kinds of stuff. You have to be prepared for that because most people of color are used to seeing other people of color with straightened, or relaxed hair. (Which is ironic considering our natural texture is textured).

Anyway, when something looks different, people are going to talk. Sometimes you get a compliment, sometimes, you get someone saying something stupid. But whatever they say, you've got to feel positive inside about your hair; that way all their negative words won't bother you. Lastly, if need be, have a response pre-prepared for those stupid "when you gonna get a perm" comments. Whatever you do, don't let their ignorant comments make you run back to relaxing your hair, unless you want to.

 

[Country gal]

I still have a relaxed mind with natural hair. That's my problem. You are right you do sense insercurity. This is a new direction I am goin in my life so it is new. Sometimes change can be scary. I pressed my hair once and wore it curly. The rest of the time I have worn my hair back with the afro out in the back. I now have two strand twists. So I am getting use to seeing my hair natural.

You're going to have to surround yourself with positive people, or images, or something. Like you could put some pictures of naturals on your mirror at home, or bulletin board. Do some fun stuff with your hair like buy some pretty headbands, or accessories---New hair products, combs, brushes. Make yourself feel good about your hair because at the end of the day, that's whose opinion matters.

Also if they get used to seeing you with straight hair (pressed), they are never going to change their opinion. If they get used to seeing you with natural hair day in and day out, they'll probably stop putting in their 2 cents. Another thing, you have to also work on the way you feel about your hair. I think I sense a little insecurity. People can be mean. If your hair isn't bone straight; they'll talk and say all kinds of stuff. You have to be prepared for that because most people of color are used to seeing other people of color with straightened, or relaxed hair. (Which is ironic considering our natural texture is textured).

Anyway, when something looks different, people are going to talk. Sometimes you get a compliment, sometimes, you get someone saying something stupid. But whatever they say, you've got to feel positive inside about your hair; that way all their negative words won't bother you. Lastly, if need be, have a response pre-prepared for those stupid "when you gonna get a perm" comments. Whatever you do, don't let their ignorant comments make you run back to relaxing your hair, unless you want to.