Waiting on God vs. Helping yo self?

[Belle Du Jour]

What do you believe? That ultimately God controls your destiny and that everything will happen in it's own good time? Or do you believe that God helps those who help them selves?

And what counts as helping yourself? What if I think I'm helping myself, and I'm in actuality overstepping my boundaries as far as what God wants to do?

I'll use the example of finding a mate. Some people think God will actually present that person to them at the right time without them doing a thing (besides the obvious: living right and fulfilling their God given purpose). Others believe in taking their own action. Which one is it? Or is it a combination of the two? When I say take action, I'm not necessarily talking about a person just going about their daily business and who is living their life. This person is taking charge: online dating, personal ads, blind dates, getting hooked up by friends, etc. I know that some matches without a doubt had to be because of the hand of God. But it gets old waiting year after year. . .I don't want to be impatient, though, and meet the wrong guy along the way while Mr. Wonderful was about to be delivered to me.

I really struggle with these two opposing ideas that the Bible teaches us. Am I to be helping myself? Or prayerfully waiting on God? And do you think that you can mess up/alter your divine destiny if you step in where you shouldn't have?

 

[oglorious1]

God has given us freewill, which means he gives us the opportunity to make some decisions(right over wrong), as for finding a mate..not to sound cliche', but the Bible says "HE who finds a wife" not SHE who finds a husband, so don't worry, your time will come..our timing is not God's timing..

 

[star]

Keep a close relationship with God makes your will His will. God has given us talents and ability but we must go to Him and get wisdom on how to use. Wanting a mate is a beautiful thing and it is absolutely nothing wrong with it but it how we go about things. Of course we should be friends and do our best to keep our lives clean but wisdom and time spent with God is the only way you are going to know what to do. God provides opportunites but it is up to us to know from being sensitive to His spirit what He wants for us. God wants to see if we want Him more than anything then everything else follows.

Am I to be helping myself? Yes, help yourself but ask God first and spend time with Him so you can know HOW to help yourself.

Or prayerfully waiting on God? There are times when God tells us nothing after we ask Him about something or somebody. Walking with God is combination of both. How you know what to do you must spend time in the word and prayer with Him build the spirit woman up first. Trust me God knows how to send the right person, have someone call you etc. God is in control and can do ANYTHING. The power He has over natural, human and physcial elements is unbelievable.

And do you think that you can mess up/alter your divine destiny if you step in where you shouldn't have? You can delay your blessing and sometimes destroy it if not careful. Although, I believe God can still bless us I want His first best not second, third, tenth etc. because I went ahead of Him and made something happen. I hear some of female friends say how the marry the wrong person and when God sent the right one they were not avaliable. They just could not wait on the leading of God spirit.

Build yourself up first your friend who is going after her mate needs to be careful. Just remember that you reap what you have sown.

 

[Vintagecoilylocks]

When you say going about it the way the bible says it answers your question. Each example of people finding mates in the bible was as diverse as were the customs. God choose Adams mate and for hundreds of years it was obvious in the sciptures people picked their own mates. Jacob and Isac made a decision to get married and went out amoung their kinsman and choose a proper mate. The Bible tells us in the New Testement what qualities we really need to consider in our selves and a mate.
So whether you send out messengers to all corners of the world, like elligible woman and families did in the middle ages, use a match maker, become a mail order bride, answer or send out e-mail, adds, join singles groups, or rely on your Aunt Biddie to find Mr. Right obviously is not important. Paul talks about the issue of seeking to marry and what it entails. Christ relationship to the church is descibed as a marriage. We know it is an institution created from God so if your goal is a God centered marriage for the proper reasons and with a proper commitment, as long as your search is in keeping with the conduct of a Christan it does not matter how you search.
WE are not to be anxious, neglect the responsibilities he has given us each day, nor our relationship with him. I think by then any actions you take will be balanced and in keeping with what is pleasing to God.

 

[firecracker]

I think I need to "BE STILL" period.

 

[Country gal]

Bumping Thanks

 

[locabouthair]

as far as finding a mate, i think its best to put it in God's hands and believe that he will send the right person if it's his will. Me personally I just got tired of looking and getting disappointed.

 

[AngelicRose07]

Keep a close relationship with God makes your will His will. God has given us talents and ability but we must go to Him and get wisdom on how to use. Wanting a mate is a beautiful thing and it is absolutely nothing wrong with it but it how we go about things. Of course we should be friends and do our best to keep our lives clean but wisdom and time spent with God is the only way you are going to know what to do. God provides opportunites but it is up to us to know from being sensitive to His spirit what He wants for us. God wants to see if we want Him more than anything then everything else follows.

Am I to be helping myself? Yes, help yourself but ask God first and spend time with Him so you can know HOW to help yourself.

Or prayerfully waiting on God? There are times when God tells us nothing after we ask Him about something or somebody. Walking with God is combination of both. How you know what to do you must spend time in the word and prayer with Him build the spirit woman up first. Trust me God knows how to send the right person, have someone call you etc. God is in control and can do ANYTHING. The power He has over natural, human and physcial elements is unbelievable.

And do you think that you can mess up/alter your divine destiny if you step in where you shouldn't have? You can delay your blessing and sometimes destroy it if not careful. Although, I believe God can still bless us I want His first best not second, third, tenth etc. because I went ahead of Him and made something happen. I hear some of female friends say how the marry the wrong person and when God sent the right one they were not avaliable. They just could not wait on the leading of God spirit.

Build yourself up first your friend who is going after her mate needs to be careful. Just remember that you reap what you have sown.

this is very nice and informative... thank you

 

[EbonyEyes]

I think I need to "BE STILL" period.

That's what I'm talking about. Sometimes, I'm saying to the Lord: "Please send me my mate....Please please Please? Can you please? Send him? Please? Can you? Now? Please?"

There are times when you just need to sit back, relax, HUSH, and let the Lord speak to you.

 

[EbonyEyes]

Keep a close relationship with God makes your will His will. God has given us talents and ability but we must go to Him and get wisdom on how to use. Wanting a mate is a beautiful thing and it is absolutely nothing wrong with it but it how we go about things. Of course we should be friends and do our best to keep our lives clean but wisdom and time spent with God is the only way you are going to know what to do. God provides opportunites but it is up to us to know from being sensitive to His spirit what He wants for us. God wants to see if we want Him more than anything then everything else follows.

Am I to be helping myself? Yes, help yourself but ask God first and spend time with Him so you can know HOW to help yourself.

Or prayerfully waiting on God? There are times when God tells us nothing after we ask Him about something or somebody. Walking with God is combination of both. How you know what to do you must spend time in the word and prayer with Him build the spirit woman up first. Trust me God knows how to send the right person, have someone call you etc. God is in control and can do ANYTHING. The power He has over natural, human and physcial elements is unbelievable.

And do you think that you can mess up/alter your divine destiny if you step in where you shouldn't have? You can delay your blessing and sometimes destroy it if not careful. Although, I believe God can still bless us I want His first best not second, third, tenth etc. because I went ahead of Him and made something happen. I hear some of female friends say how the marry the wrong person and when God sent the right one they were not avaliable. They just could not wait on the leading of God spirit.

Build yourself up first your friend who is going after her mate needs to be careful. Just remember that you reap what you have sown.

I really like your post. The part that spoke to me was when you said "Build yourself up first."

I think we need to entertain that the Lord may want to work on us a little before he sends our mate our way. You're waiting for the "He's the one" answer when God is saying "I'm not going to tell you just yet. Trust me, I'll send him when the time is right. But you need to read more of my word and pray to me more."

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

My dad told me a joke once that I think is appropriate here.

A man was caught in a flood, surrounded by rising water. If something didn't happen soon, he was going to drown. Someone on dry land threw him a rope and asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man responded, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the rope didn't help him.

Then, a boat came by and the man onboard asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the boat moved on.

Finally, a helicopter flew overhead. The pilot asked him over a bullhorn, "Hey! You need some help?"

Again, the man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man in the helicopter moved on.

The floodwaters got too high, and the man did drown. When he got to heaven, he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God said, "Look, I sent you a rope, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?"

In other words, God does send help. But we have to meet Him halfway and not just sit around waiting for what WE think that help should be. I think this applies to finding a mate as well as to daily life... or floods.

~R. :Rose:

 

[calliope]

"God helps those who help themselves" is nowhere in the Bible. It is not scriptural. God wants us to depend on Him. Most of the time, when we try to do things on our own, we make a huge mess, but thank God that we have Him to go running back to to help us- like we should have done in the first place.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

In other words, God does send help. But we have to meet Him halfway and not just sit around waiting for what WE think that help should be. I think this applies to finding a mate as well as to daily life... or floods.

~R. :Rose:

I completely agree with the analogy and your explanation.

 

[bajanplums1]

My dad told me a joke once that I think is appropriate here.

A man was caught in a flood, surrounded by rising water. If something didn't happen soon, he was going to drown. Someone on dry land threw him a rope and asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man responded, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the rope didn't help him.

Then, a boat came by and the man onboard asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the boat moved on.

Finally, a helicopter flew overhead. The pilot asked him over a bullhorn, "Hey! You need some help?"

Again, the man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man in the helicopter moved on.

The floodwaters got too high, and the man did drown. When he got to heaven, he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God said, "Look, I sent you a rope, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?"

In other words, God does send help. But we have to meet Him halfway and not just sit around waiting for what WE think that help should be. I think this applies to finding a mate as well as to daily life... or floods.

~R. :Rose:

cute story, and i agree. when i was in school I wanted good grades, so I studied and prayed. I did not just stare at the closed book and hope God will give me the knowledge.

 

[star]

My dad told me a joke once that I think is appropriate here.

A man was caught in a flood, surrounded by rising water. If something didn't happen soon, he was going to drown. Someone on dry land threw him a rope and asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man responded, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the rope didn't help him.

Then, a boat came by and the man onboard asked, "Can I give you a hand?"

The man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man with the boat moved on.

Finally, a helicopter flew overhead. The pilot asked him over a bullhorn, "Hey! You need some help?"

Again, the man said, "No, I'm waiting for God to save me." So, the man in the helicopter moved on.

The floodwaters got too high, and the man did drown. When he got to heaven, he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God said, "Look, I sent you a rope, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?"

In other words, God does send help. But we have to meet Him halfway and not just sit around waiting for what WE think that help should be. I think this applies to finding a mate as well as to daily life... or floods.

~R. :Rose:

This is good I heard it before but the reason the man miss these things was because he did not spend enough time with God to know God was sending these things. We have to know when to move and when to wait otherwise our emotions can set in and mess things up.

 

[Southernbella.]

Good topic. I'm a little on the fence about this. My personal opinion is that a lot of black folks are in the situation they are in financially because sometimes we are just too spiritual. I can't tell you how many Christians I've known who, for example, didn't work because because God didn't tell them to move on a job. So they bummed rides and ate at other people's homes because they had no money.

I've also known people who had ideas for businesses or opportunities for different things, but because they didn't see or hear God, they didn't move.

My belief now is that God blesses us all with the ability to discern and use wisdom. Nothing in life will be spelled out across the sky in God's own handwriting, so all any of us can really do is pray about it, move in it if you have peace, and wait if you don't.

If it works, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, you learn from it and move on to the next thing. I don't think God meant for us to be paralyzed in anticipation because we can't do anything without a sign. After all, he called us to have life and have it more abundantly. How can we do that if we are always waiting on the perfect _______ (insert whatever here).

I love that story about the man and the flood.

 

[mahogany]

This is good I heard it before but the reason the man miss these things was because he did not spend enough time with God to know God was sending these things. We have to know when to move and when to wait otherwise our emotions can set in and mess things up.

That's exactly what I thought the story meant. We must know GOD first before we can get his blessings. That man obviously did not know GOD enough to recognize him. In 2 Peter 1:3 It says "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called his own glory and goodness." Therefore, God has provided a way for us to stay sin-free, struggle-free, debt-free ect... we just have to have faith and remain obedient. Sometimes as Christians, it seems like we are missing out on alot of oppurtunities, but we must understand that the Devil listens to prayers too. That job that pays a great salary may not be around in two years or you may never get a raise there so it is just GOD's way of looking after us. After all he is omnipotent and his intentions are good.

 

[Southernbella.]

That's exactly what I thought the story meant. We must know GOD first before we can get his blessings. That man obviously did not know GOD enough to recognize him. In 2 Peter 1:3 It says "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called his own glory and goodness." Therefore, God has provided a way for us to stay sin-free, struggle-free, debt-free ect... we just have to have faith and remain obedient. Sometimes as Christians, it seems like we are missing out on alot of oppurtunities, but we must understand that the Devil listens to prayers too. That job that pays a great salary may not be around in two years or you may never get a raise there so it is just GOD's way of looking after us. After all he is omnipotent and his intentions are good.

I'm not being funny, I'm genuinely asking, how? Are you saying he hears what we pray to God in our heads?

I choose not to give the devil that kind of power in my life. I think he can only have as much power as we give him. As far as the job part you posted about, I guess it's just my own bias from being around people who refused to work because they were "waiting on God". Is it really God's will for someone to be lazy? For someone to be hungry and dependent on other people to eat? Why not at least work part time while waiting on God?

For me, I used to believe that if something was a little difficult, it must not be God. Now I know that that's crazy. The Bible says that there will always be trials in our lives. It's up to us to use what God gave us. If God is finished, and if he's already seated on the throne, how is He "going to make a way out of no way"? Wouldn't the way already be made? I believe He is finished, and that it's up to us to find out what that way is. Or maybe God allows us to find our own way (free will) on some things and then He blesses it if it lines up with His will.

I'm just asking questions, and I hope I didn't offend anyone.

 

[mahogany]

I'm not being funny, I'm genuinely asking, how? Are you saying he hears what we pray to God in our heads?

I choose not to give the devil that kind of power in my life. I think he can only have as much power as we give him. As far as the job part you posted about, I guess it's just my own bias from being around people who refused to work because they were "waiting on God". Is it really God's will for someone to be lazy? For someone to be hungry and dependent on other people to eat? Why not at least work part time while waiting on God?

For me, I used to believe that if something was a little difficult, it must not be God. Now I know that that's crazy. The Bible says that there will always be trials in our lives. It's up to us to use what God gave us. If God is finished, and if he's already seated on the throne, how is He "going to make a way out of no way"? Wouldn't the way already be made? I believe He is finished, and that it's up to us to find out what that way is. Or maybe God allows us to find our own way (free will) on some things and then He blesses it if it lines up with His will.

I'm just asking questions, and I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Thats a genuine question and I will try to explain. This just recently happened to a friend of mine, she was praying for a man who went to church to come into her life and about 2 months later she started dating one at her church. My friend was so excited that he was involved in the church that she did not see his womanizing ways. It seemed like the Devil had packaged this guy just the way she wanted that she was blinded by his other "qualities". Prayer is very powerful tool, but if you don't do it right you will always reap bad results. In her case, she was not specific enough; just because a man goes to church that does not mean he is a Christian or the man for her.

I understand what you mean with working and you are right. The bible says a man who does not work does not eat. But I also think people are so quick to jump at some opportunities with an emphasis on material wealth rather than spiritual wealth. They would put up with the headaches and stress for that bigger pay check when they could have just waited on GOD and recieved a better paying job without the struggles. Proverbs 3:5-6, " Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

This is good I heard it before but the reason the man miss these things was because he did not spend enough time with God to know God was sending these things. We have to know when to move and when to wait otherwise our emotions can set in and mess things up.

Ah, but you would be surprised at how many people I've seen who let their whole lives pass them by because they're "waiting on God" to save them... and they just don't realize that He's already given them all the tools they need.

God is always talking, I think, but not many people listen. Especially when what they hear isn't quite what they expected.

~R. :Rose:

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I've enjoyed reading these responses. I think that no two situations are the same.

For example, with school, I KNOW that God had a hand in getting me in and is most definitely getting me through! When I credit God for grades and stuff, people think I'm being shady or evasive about how I did well. Obviously I'm studying and giving Him something to work with, but percentage-wise, it's all God.

On the other hand, I feel like God has been distant or silent in other things that I ask him for, so that's why sometimes I don't know when to go for something or when to hold back and "be still."

I guess we just have to stay in prayerful conversation with God regarding every situation and realize that God is versatile in His response to our request, and it not going to come the same way every time.

 

[divinefavor]

Wow, this is an awesome thread! I've enjoyed all of the responses.

 

[shalom]

Star and Coily, Well said. Like Latia and EbonyEyes, I think I need to "BE STILL" period.

 

[Blossssom]

Unless you believe it's your destiny to live in the streets, wait on God.

If you believe if you strive to take care of yourself and God will give you the strength to endure life's adversities, lift self up first and God will catch you if you fall.

 

[sithembile]

When I first got saved, I really wanted a mate and I'd pray to God one. I met 2 guys within 1 year. Within 2 weeks of meeting the first guy, I found out that he would sleep with girls in church (one even had his baby) and then move on. My pastor saw me talking to him and told me to stay away, but he didn't say why. Then my friend told me she was one of his "victims", so this confirmed to me that he was not right for me, he was a wolf in sheeps clothing. Because I prayed fervently before even dating this guy, God showed me. Then another guy asked me out, whilst I was still thinking and praying about it, his job transferred him to another country. God intervened again.

From then on, I decided to trust God that He would provide a mate for me, I stopped looking. Of course I'd talk to men at church, but I wouldn't go out of my way to "find" one. I just prayed that God would prepare me spiritually and practically for my mate. Within a year, I met my current bf. He is not someone I'd normally have looked at, but he'd always be right there. I know that God brought us together, and we are praying right now for God's plan and timing comcerning our future.

I believe we should focus on building our relationship with God and allowing Him to prepare us, God knows what He is doing.

 

[thatscuteright]

When I first got saved, I really wanted a mate and I'd pray to God one. I met 2 guys within 1 year. Within 2 weeks of meeting the first guy, I found out that he would sleep with girls in church (one even had his baby) and then move on. My pastor saw me talking to him and told me to stay away, but he didn't say why. Then my friend told me she was one of his "victims", so this confirmed to me that he was not right for me, he was a wolf in sheeps clothing. Because I prayed fervently before even dating this guy, God showed me. Then another guy asked me out, whilst I was still thinking and praying about it, his job transferred him to another country. God intervened again.

From then on, I decided to trust God that He would provide a mate for me, I stopped looking. Of course I'd talk to men at church, but I wouldn't go out of my way to "find" one. I just prayed that God would prepare me spiritually and practically for my mate. Within a year, I met my current bf. He is not someone I'd normally have looked at, but he'd always be right there. I know that God brought us together, and we are praying right now for God's plan and timing comcerning our future.

I believe we should focus on building our relationship with God and allowing Him to prepare us, God knows what He is doing.

Thank you for sharing your story.I really enjoyed reading it.
I have adopted this philosophy, I wanted a mate so bad previously and I prayed to God passionately for one, and then this past week, I have stopped praying for mate, and I simply ask for guidance and wisdom so that I may live right. I am more concerned in know that I am living the way that God wants me to live. The hardest part is trying to understand what God wants from me.
Is it devotion? Is it charity?

I never prayed to God about money, but God knew that I needed it, and he is blessing me profoundly. I really do believe in the phiolosophy of simply waiting on God. It makes life so much easier I have made so many stupid mistakes due to my impatience, and "gotta have it" atitude. Its important to take "action", but it has to be based on Godly principles. I am learning it the hard way.

 

[firecracker]

I don't worry about too much of anything. I know that God works everything out in time along with prayer. If things are meant for me they happen. I don't worry but I do get angry . Which causes me to rant and rave. Once I get the madness out my system and change my focus I am good. A mate is the least of my concerns. I need to be patient, obediant and curb my tongue. My thoughts can be truly sinful. That is why I say I need to be still.

 

[star]

I really like your post. The part that spoke to me was when you said "Build yourself up first."

I think we need to entertain that the Lord may want to work on us a little before he sends our mate our way. You're waiting for the "He's the one" answer when God is saying "I'm not going to tell you just yet. Trust me, I'll send him when the time is right. But you need to read more of my word and pray to me more."

Praise God I like what you said also, the part Im not going to tell you just yet". That sounds just like God.

 

[star]

Thank you for sharing your story.I really enjoyed reading it.
I have adopted this philosophy, I wanted a mate so bad previously and I prayed to God passionately for one, and then this past week, I have stopped praying for mate, and I simply ask for guidance and wisdom so that I may live right. I am more concerned in know that I am living the way that God wants me to live. The hardest part is trying to understand what God wants from me.
Is it devotion? Is it charity?

I never prayed to God about money, but God knew that I needed it, and he is blessing me profoundly. I really do believe in the phiolosophy of simply waiting on God. It makes life so much easier I have made so many stupid mistakes due to my impatience, and "gotta have it" atitude. Its important to take "action", but it has to be based on Godly principles. I am learning it the hard way.

Tamala, thank you for sharing your story it really touch me on your honesty. The one thing I learned GOd blesses us with things we never ask for.

 

[star]

Wow, this is an awesome thread! I've enjoyed all of the responses.

Me too! These are some powerful woman of God especially what Blosssom said about living in the streets I never thought of that way but that is so true.