Vent: Stylist made me feel bad for transitioning

[ALWAYZL8]

I have not been to my regular salon since my last relaxer in August 2007. I went in today thinking I would chop off a good bit to speed the process along. I could tell he wanted to know where I've been and if I was letting another sylist relax my hair. I go to the shampoo bowl and as his assistant puts the conditioner in she tells me I have a lot of newgrowth. I told her I was transitioning to natural. She then asked me what I was going to do once the relaxer was out. I told her I would probably flat iron once a month. She then asked me, "so...are you getting dreads?" I was like, "Huh...say what?" She asked me the same question again. I told her I was not...just wanted to be natural. I go to my stylist and he finally asked where I had been for the last few months. As he begins to detangle, he asked if I was growing out the relaxer. I told him yes and he just made this sigh and I know the face that goes with the sigh. I told him to just detangle, rollerset, and flat iron it. He says,"It is going to take more than a few rollers to straighten this out." After the hair dryer, the blowdryer, and the torch for a flat iron, I started wondering if I had lost my mind thinking I could transition. I have not had a problem doing my own hair the last few months. Why was it such a hassle for him? I was letting an Aveda Cosmetology student flat iron it and she's the one that suggested I go natural. I was all for it. I love my stylist, but is he just hating on me or is my hair not as manageable as I thought it was? Anybody else been through this during transition?

 

[hopeful]

Well it sounds like you were doing fine until you went back to your stylist. You just need to find someone who supports your goals or continue to do it yourself. Why let one person's funky attitude persuade you from your goal?

 

[Blkprincess]

I totally agree with hopeful...do what is best for you, and find another stylist who supports the goals you are trying to acquire...even if it means becoming your own stylist. who else but you would give your hair the tlc it needs

 

[Crissi]

Well it sounds like you were doing fine until you went back to your stylist. You just need to find someone who supports your goals or continue to do it yourself. Why let one person's funky attitude persuade you from your goal?

Exactly! It seems that its him making the transition hard. Not you, you were fine until you went back, so don't go back. If he is going to have a negative influence on you (maybe because it benefits his pocket) then don't go back. Maybe the stylist at the aveda school would be better for you...

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I have loyalty issues and I trust him fully with a pair of scissors. I still have hair after a trim. I've only had five stylists in my entire life. I only changed stylists after changing cities. I just get attached. I only went to the Aveda student because I had to host an event and he could not take me. I called the school on instinct and let's jsut say homegirl can work a flat iron...and fast. Love her. However, she couldn't do a good trim if her life depended on it.

 

[cococutie007]

Girl sounds like your stylist is a butthead. That or he was jealous of your progress or maybe thought you were tipping out on him with another stylist. Either way, don't let him deter you. I remember you talking about going natural a few months ago after the meetup so go for it and go back to that Aveda student for flat irons. Maybe you could coach her with your trims with you holding a mirror and she only cutting when you say and how much you say. You've come this far, don't let that doodie ball make you have 2nd thoughts missy. Poo on him for tripping like that.

 

[Wildchild453]

It should not be a hassle to get you hair flat ironed and he shouldn't make it that way. Don't make him doubt you, it's easy for them to flat iron your hair, I have yet to meet a sytlist who can't straighten natural hair

 

[tinkat]

I agree with hopeful...maybe you should find someone that is willing to help you through the process or just stay away from salons...that is what I did bc I did not want to hear anybody's opinion.

 

[Brownie518]

You may be able to trust him with the scissors but don't let him be your standard. Just because he doesn't have the skills to manage your hair does not mean it is unmanageable. That is a reflection of him, not your hair.

 

[MsAngie]

Yeah, definitely don't let his sighs sway you into relaxing, if that's not what your goal is. I stretch for about 3-4 months at a time, and my stylist gives me crap about it, too. She always goes into this huge tirade about having to detangle my hair and how hard it is to do it. Puh-leeze, I don't see her enough to change my goals. Definitely keep doing what you're doing.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I'm going back to the Aveda student. She graduated at the end of November. I'll just go to him for the Big Chop.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

Girl sounds like your stylist is a butthead. That or he was jealous of your progress or maybe thought you were tipping out on him with another stylist. Either way, don't let him deter you. I remember you talking about going natural a few months ago after the meetup so go for it and go back to that Aveda student for flat irons. Maybe you could coach her with your trims with you holding a mirror and she only cutting when you say and how much you say. You've come this far, don't let that doodie ball make you have 2nd thoughts missy. Poo on him for tripping like that.

You're right. I'm back on track. My feelings were just hurt yesterday. I'm a little sensitive...especially when it comes to my hair.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

Yeah, definitely don't let his sighs sway you into relaxing, if that's not what your goal is. I stretch for about 3-4 months at a time, and my stylist gives me crap about it, too. She always goes into this huge tirade about having to detangle my hair and how hard it is to do it. Puh-leeze, I don't see her enough to change my goals. Definitely keep doing what you're doing.

You are right. I have come to far to turn back now. If I can manage my own hair, I know any good stylist can.

 

[ladylibra]

Lord Jesus, what is WRONG with these stylists? you are PAYING them, it is not your job to make their job easier!!!

i get an attitude with people real quick, don't mind me... i've stormed out on stylists with a wet head or half my hair in rollers before...

either they want your business or they don't. it's that simple. you don't wanna deal with natural hair, just say so. i'll take my money elsewhere.

 

[blazingthru]

They charge a lot for a relaxer right. I mean I only spend what 8.00 dollars since I use to do mines myself. I think he was adding up the money he was missing and making you doubt your decision. Whatever you decided to do let it come from within you. Something you want to achieve and for no other reason then that.

 

[FluffyRed]

ITA with trudy. I have a friend who is a stylist and I think her objection to nappturals is all about the $$$.

She made remarks to me after my BC a few years back.

Their pockets are not your problem.

 

[BostonMaria]

My stylist misses me too... mostly because I don't spend $3000 a year on her!! I'd sigh too if my customer was only coming to me once every 6 months. Don't pay him any mind.

I have natural hair and back in June my stylist wasn't very thrilled to see me either. She was trying to make me feel bad. I say don't go to him unless you really have to. Keep doing what you're doing. Whether you're relaxed or natural, that should be YOUR decision and not some guy who's more interested in your wallet.

Transitioning is hard enough, you don't need to be around people that aren't helping you.