Vent: My 11 Y.O. DD got into it with someone at school over her natural hair...

PracticallyMe

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My 11 y.o. DD has been getting teased about wearing natural styles or more likely that her hair is not straight at school. When school first started I put her hair in kinky twists, and several girls started calling her 'Medusa'. She said she didn't care but I know it had to be wearing on her everyday since these kids had been making the snide remarks since mid-September. She said she told the teacher, but it was still going on. I gave her some things to say because quite frankly I was just offended anybody had the nerve to say something about her hair.

Finally last weekend, I decided to flat iron her natural hair because she had asked me to do it a few times. Her hair is very thick and a little more than shoulder length, but it goes out more than down. So, I let her wear it in a banana clip, so it wouldn't be all over her head.

Well, yesterday, her clip came off at school and she couldn't put it back on. So, her hair was a bit unruly. So, when she comes to the class where the girls tease her the most, they are laughing, but one in particular is making rude comments about her hair. Well, her and the ring leader get into a shouting match in the classroom (not good) and it was just a kinda major blow up. My DD was pretty upset, and I had to pick her up from school. And come to find out, the ring leader of the group is a Hispanic girl. It bothered me no matter who was talking about her hair, but to be honest I really rubbed me the wrong way that a girl of another race whose hair grows out pretty much straight, is talking negatively about my daughter because her hair is kinky.

Now, I'm mad at myself because I wish I would have went directly to the administration when this first started before it turned into a big blowout. After this big incident, I did talk to the administration about it and let them know that the teasing was unacceptable. I informed them that Black's people hair is not naturally straight and although we have the option to straighten it, we are not required to straighten and that I would appreciate it if they would address this issue. I also told them the next time I would be contacting them directly about any further incidents.What I was thinking though, was you all better handle it before I do and somebody's feelings get hurt.

What's funny is I decided over 10 years ago, when my DD was 1 y.o. to go natural because I wanted her to be comfortable with her hair, so I wanted to be an example. Back in 2000, the only people I knew that were natural were on the internet, and I often got comments like 'what are you going to do with your hair?' from people I knew. Nowadays, I know several people that have gone the natural route and I see natural styles everywhere.

So, I can't believe in 2010 I'm going to have to pick out my fro, stick one of those picks with a fist on it in my hair and pump the black power fist over hair freedom. Just got me running hot over this mess. :angry2:
 
What is the school's policy on bullying? This is EXACTLY what it is and I for one would be making a huge stink about it. Tolerance of all types need to be taught and if the school can't take the initiative to nip it in the bud I'm sure a letter writing campaign can help them get started.
 
The ringleader and the other children's parents should be notified by the school that their children took part in bullying and a meeting with the parents AND children present should take place.
 
that little bully is going to get her tail whooped by someone's child who just won't have it and then she'll be crying to mommy.
 
Bullying is a hot topic now, but that's exactly what happened to your daughter! I'm sorryhe d and I hope doesn't lose too much sleep over it!
 
There needs to be a sit down meeting with the parents & the kids. If the bullying continues, bust the little bastards in their grills. Sad, but I remember being teased horribly at that age. It ebbed tremendously when I beat the alpha female down one day.

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What is the school's policy on bullying? This is EXACTLY what it is and I for one would be making a huge stink about it. Tolerance of all types need to be taught and if the school can't take the initiative to nip it in the bud I'm sure a letter writing campaign can help them get started.

They definitely have a policy on bullying. When I spoke with the Assistant Principal about it, she told me she informed all her teachers about the situation, and that they will be on the lookout for any more of that nonsense.

I also told her that if I heard anything else about it I would definitely be taking the issue directly to the top and beyond. And I'm sure they don't doubt it because I have a reputation for taking the administration/teachers to task over various issues in the past. That's probably why I didn't go straight to the administration when it first started happening. I was hoping it didn't have to turn into a big issue. But knowing my DD, I should have known. She is not a 'quiet, take anything you dish out' child. She does have a tendency to 'set it off'.
 
The ringleader and the other children's parents should be notified by the school that their children took part in bullying and a meeting with the parents AND children present should take place.

That is a good suggestion. I will definitely mention that we may need to look into that option.

that little bully is going to get her tail whooped by someone's child who just won't have it and then she'll be crying to mommy.

That was the main thing I was concerned with, as far as my daughter goes. That's why I wanted to try to arm her with some words to shoot the girls down because sometimes she will just go from 0 t0 10 on somebody if they get on her nerves enough and then she's in trouble too.

There needs to be a sit down meeting with the parents & the kids. If the bullying continues, bust the little bastards in their grills. Sad, but I remember being teased horribly at that age. It ebbed tremendously when I beat the alpha female down one day.

Sent from my Motorola DEFY using Long Hair Care Forum App

Yeah, it seems like the girl may have learned her lesson for now. The next day, the girl didn't say anything to her or even look at her. Probably because my daughter confronted her directly and pushed her (glad it wasn't more because once my DD is mad, she is not the back down type, so it's just better not to get her in those situations).

I really appreciate all the comments. I think I was more frustrated than she was. Once the situation was over, she was done with it. It just had really rubbed me the wrong way. And then I was just mad at myself for not taking this to administration because I was tired of getting into it with them. The main thing I should have been thinking about is how to keep my DD from getting into an altercation at school because she will take it there.
 
It my understanding that the Hispanic kids have a worst attitude toward Blacks kids (D.C. suburbs) than white kids. It's all about being a "white Hispanic" and darker folks with extremely curly hair are not viewed in a positive light.

I wonder if she and her hair is here legally?
 
Well that's considered bullying and I'd make sure to be all up in admins faces every time something goes down with that little bully. Kids are going to be kids but enough is enough. There's no excuse for this type of constant behavior and teasing. I wonder what the parents are like.
 
I agree, and although I am not near you and they therefore may ignore me, I would be willing to send a letter to them, I am sure they would pay attention if they started getting a bunch of irate letters from your HHJ sisters.
What is the school's policy on bullying? This is EXACTLY what it is and I for one would be making a huge stink about it. Tolerance of all types need to be taught and if the school can't take the initiative to nip it in the bud I'm sure a letter writing campaign can help them get started.
 
LOL, I like your daughter's attitude.
That is a good suggestion. I will definitely mention that we may need to look into that option.



That was the main thing I was concerned with, as far as my daughter goes. That's why I wanted to try to arm her with some words to shoot the girls down because sometimes she will just go from 0 t0 10 on somebody if they get on her nerves enough and then she's in trouble too.



Yeah, it seems like the girl may have learned her lesson for now. The next day, the girl didn't say anything to her or even look at her. Probably because my daughter confronted her directly and pushed her (glad it wasn't more because once my DD is mad, she is not the back down type, so it's just better not to get her in those situations).

I really appreciate all the comments. I think I was more frustrated than she was. Once the situation was over, she was done with it. It just had really rubbed me the wrong way. And then I was just mad at myself for not taking this to administration because I was tired of getting into it with them. The main thing I should have been thinking about is how to keep my DD from getting into an altercation at school because she will take it there.
 
Im sorry bout you better than me.... i fight kids and they parents too... im just sayn ...dont judge me
 
I was about to type that you should just tell your daughter to beat her a$$ and be done with it, but I see that is not necessary. Sometimes you have to take the suspension to make b*tches step off.
 
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I commend you and your daughter. She seems very strong and is not buckling under pressure and asking you to give her a perm.
 
It my understanding that the Hispanic kids have a worst attitude toward Blacks kids (D.C. suburbs) than white kids. It's all about being a "white Hispanic" and darker folks with extremely curly hair are not viewed in a positive light.

I wonder if she and her hair is here legally?

:dead:

I would ask her that. Sometimes, when folks say something ignorant to you, you have to turn and say something ridiculous back.
 
that little bully is going to get her tail whooped by someone's child who just won't have it and then she'll be crying to mommy.

EXACTLY. I don't want to promote violence but if that were my daughter I would have told her to beat the mess out of that little girl, and I would have showed her how to block and elbow. AND pull her hair. Hit her with a composition book, etc...
 
I can see that you are definitely doing something right OP. I hate to see kids being bullied about something like this and the fact that your DD stood up for herself says a lot about her upbringing. Good job momma.
 
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