VENT: Joked about a wig?

[divachyk]

If I were you I would not be offended...some people just don't understand. What did her hair look like, maybe it was a passive aggressive hater move...or maybe not. I'd shrug it off and do your thang.

Her has is very nice looking -- blonde highlights, neck length -- but she goes to a salon and pays ridiculous amounts of money to achieve the same look we ladies know how to do ourselves. She never PS and probably has never heard of the term. I'm not trying to boast but I was recently promoted at work so maybe in some random kinda way she is being a hater but I really hope not. *sigh*

She probably is like the majority of AA women (as in, women who are NOT card-carrying members of LHCF) and has never even fathomed the idea of wearing wigs as a PS. After I read what you said about her being a non-practicing cosmetologist, I am SURE she hasn't heard of it. She probably thinks you will come in there looking like a Barbie doll and that's why she's so opposed to it. I mean, even if you DO come in with a busted wig, the joke will be on HER when your hair is still flyy in a few months.

I've casually asked her about a few things we've discuss on LHCF and nope, not at all -- deer in headlights look -- I have to remind myself I now belong the Sorority LHCF so that then makes me of the minority so I better work it and rep for us all.

Girl don't worry about her ! Find a nice wig that looks natural, style it to suit you and your co worker won't have anything to say except how she can get a similar look.

You hit the nail on the head with the grandmother comment. A lot of people have no frame of reference for wigs other than elderly family members. I know my aunt and grandmother always wore/wear wigs but no one else in my family did and none of my friends do. Its just considered old school to a lot of people. Weaves, however, are an every day thing so its not even worth discussing. Go figure.[/B]

I never understood this.

She'll be one who secretly admires your hair if you kept wearing them to retain length.

I too agree --

 

[Ms_CoCo37]

Diva,

The same thing happens to me whenever I wear a wig to work. For the most part, my studio loves them. However, I have this one woman who comes in each morning to check our bathrooms and restock them. Every time she sees me in a wig I get fussed at. The conversation goes a little like this:

Her: "You got a head full of hair! If you don't take that *&^% off. Stop wearing those wigs! #$%@"
Me: Why do you think my hair is long. I use wigs as a protective style so I can give my hair a break and let it grow.
Her: I don't care what you say, you don't need to have that mess on your head.
Me: Just wait, you'll see how much my hair has grown the next time I wear it out.

She walks off in a huff mumbling that she doesn't understand why a person with a head full of hair would want to wear a wig. I don't get offended, in fact, I find it quite amusing. I know what I am doing will be beneficial for my hair in the long run. People are going to say what they're going to say. The important thing is that you're doing what you need to do in order to achieve your healthy hair goals.

 

[Guitarhero]

More than the wig, watch your back at work. Anybody who boldly says something like that has something up her sleeves. It was meant as a 'jab.'

 

[Miss_C]

Don't worry about it. Some people have a lot to say, but as soon as you're comfortable enough to do you, they jump all on the bandwagon and copy you. I am an "out" wig wearer at work. White people just take it in stride, SOME blk people somewhat give me the side eye. But when I came in with my real hair out last week they were like. So I say to anyone who has anything to say about my wigs. I'll just let my results speak for themselves.

 

[FebeeSigns]

Everybody has their own humor and sense of what is practical and what isn't. She found it impractical for you to wear a wig because you have hair already and majority of women who wear wigs have bald/hair problems. I wouldn't have been offended because hey, if a coworker found my wig funny then it's funny to her. But if it is serious to me I really wouldn't give a crap. Afterall, you know the benefits of wearing a wig and how much it helps you so she's really the one who's missing out. Smugsmile and shake it off.

 

[Freespirit02]

OP..what does the chick's hair look like? Maybe she is envious of your real hair..and she was just waiting for a reason to make fun of you.

 

[Lady S]

For some reasons wigs have this weird reputation, but imho, they look better then some bad weaves that seem to be social acceptable.

I don't tell people if they should be offended or not. That's not my place. I know if I had told people before hand that I was going to wear wigs, I would have got the same feedback. But I just came in to work wearing my wig and got tons of compliments. People get a kick out of it when I change them up.

If she's your "friend" she should respect your feelings. There's a difference between tactfully pointing out that a certain style doesn't work for you, but just straight out laughing regardless is a jerk move.

 

[Solitude]

@ folks calling ol girl ignorant. i would not be offended or angry by this exchange of words. maybe she could have been a lil more tactful but she was, at least, giving you a heads up on the fact she'd be eventually laughing at you, to your face. and imo, 99% of wigs look bunk.

I wouldn't be offended. Some people don't like 'fake' hair because it's fake, and some don't like it because some of us have a habit of wearing wigs and weaves that just look poorly done and not properly matched to our hair type. She said she'd laugh if she saw you in a wig. I wouldn't wear a wig that screamed 'WIG', and you know too many women do. I'd wear something that she couldn't tell was a wig, for about a week, then ask her where the laughter is.

I wouldn't be offended. But, then again, I'm not easily offended.

Some people are opposed to wigs. They think its silly. Even on this forum people have actually stated that its silly for women to wear wigs (fake hair in general) and if they were a man they wouldn't date someone who did so. Your "friend" and the people I'm referring to are entitled to their opinions. And the chick can laugh all she wants. But, if wearing wigs works out for YOU that's all that matters. Just make sure it's cute. Cause I would probably laugh too if your wig was busted.

ITA with all of the above posts. To be honest, before LHCF, I thought wigs were completely whack, period, and only acceptable for people who actually needed to wear them. (Cancer patients, old women, performers, people wearing them to go with a Halloween costume ).

If she had come up to you out of nowhere and made a wig comment, she would be out of line. However, when you bring up your hair in a conversation, you open yourself up to the comments and opinions of others. If wigs work for you, then keep rocking 'em! When it comes to hair, I'm on a mission and I couldn't care less what anyone has to say about it.

 

[mstar]

Before LHCF, I thought wigs were for old ladies. The only ones I had ever seen were those obviously fake, plastic-looking wigs...I had never heard of lacefronts or half-wigs. And I had no idea they could look natural, or be used for protective styling.

So no, I wouldn't be offended by her comment...not at all. I think you're being WAY overly sensitive. She's just not familiar with the modern options for wigs, that's all. I try not to take myself so seriously that my friends can't even joke with me. *shrug*

 

[divachyk]

I have this one woman who comes in each morning to check our bathrooms and restock them. Every time she sees me in a wig I get fussed at.

This brings me to another point....some AA people think they can offer their opinion simply because we are of the same race. Never understood that.

More than the wig, watch your back at work. Anybody who boldly says something like that has something up her sleeves. It was meant as a 'jab.'

Okay I will....don't want her snatching on my wig or nothing.

White people just take it in stride, SOME blk people somewhat give me the side eye. But when I came in with my real hair out last week they were like. So I say to anyone who has anything to say about my wigs. I'll just let my results speak for themselves.

Other races are usually hype about the various styles we can rock but you're right about the side eye thing....

Smugsmile and shake it off.

There's a difference between tactfully pointing out that a certain style doesn't work for you, but just straight out laughing regardless is a jerk move.

That's for sure!

If wigs work for you, then keep rocking 'em! When it comes to hair, I'm on a mission and I couldn't care less what anyone has to say about it.

My goal is swanging banging hair so I will rock my wigs proudly, over the weekend (as I do now) and during the week. My dh doesn't have any issues with them so truthfully, it should not matter what anyone else thinks but her comment just caught me off guard and got under my skin. What ticks me off even more now is that I didn't have a good snazzy come back to her comments but she'll eat her words when I come looking like fiya! I've never been good with thinking on my feet when it comes down to putting people in their place. Oh well.

 

[kittykhat]

I understand what you're talking about and about AA women being so critical of each other. That's why I don't really hang out with AA women because a lot are like that. But I do think you are overreacting. So what if she laughs, do what you want to do. How does her hair look? Does it look healthy? Just curious.

 

[divachyk]

I understand what you're talking about and about AA women being so critical of each other. That's why I don't really hang out with AA women because a lot are like that. But I do think you are overreacting. So what if she laughs, do what you want to do. How does her hair look? Does it look healthy? Just curious.

It looks relatively healthy and is well kept. She doesn't PS though.