Update With Pics To "husband Volunteered To Perm My Hair." I Survived!!!

jerseyhaircare

jerseyhaircare

Well-Known Member
I'm a tired mother of two. I've been trying to deal with my almost 23 week, post perm, new growth jungle, but finally ready to call it quits. Can't bring myself to spend the day at a salon because I'm nursing a 7 months old and the weekend is my time to bond with my babies. I bought the Lineage perm via Amazon and decided to perm my hair this weekend (did it before with fair results, but always feel like I need more time). I thought about the half and half method, but got discouraged because it looks like it would be a two day endeavor.

Last night, my husband said he would be happy to help me put a perm in my hair, claiming it can't be that hard. As a disclaimer, he's a bald headed, Nigerian male that raised two sons, so not exactly my ideal candidate. However, since I'm no expert, four hands should be better then two, right??? Anyway ladies, does this sound like a reasonable plan or am I possibly looking at sporting scabs and bald spots? Any women had their man help, and if so, how did they prep him? I'm planning on doing this on Sunday, during the kids nap time. If it comes out right, I may do a review/post an after pic. Wish me luck!!
 
You know your husband better than any of us.

I know my husband is detailed oriented and would watch some YT videos, etc then do it and I would trust that. How do YOU feel about it?

It's one thing to want it because it feels like your last option, but think about the pros and cons. If something goes wrong, could you cope with it and him fairly?. Or would it cause a riff?
 
mzteaze said:
You know your husband better than any of us.

I know my husband is detailed oriented and would watch some YT videos, etc then do it and I would trust that. How do YOU feel about it?

It's one thing to want it because it feels like your last option, but think about the pros and cons. If something goes wrong, could you cope with it and him fairly?. Or would it cause a riff?
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I think it may end badly only because I'm bossy and he hates being told what to do. I can easily see us arguing as the perm is burning a hole in my skull, lol.
 
Theresamonet said:
Have hubby watch the kids, and go to the salon. It wont take that long. It doesn't sound like either of you know what you're doing. This could end badly. You won't be able to nurse and bond with your baby during the time you're relaxing your hair anyway.
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Yeah. Makes sense, but my last perm took 30 mins to do but was a 5 hour ordeal (hate salons.) Maybe I'll go to a local shop with my own rollers and tell them that I just want them to perm and roll up my hair. That way, I can walk out whenever I feel I've been there too long.
 
My brother used to perm my sister in law's hair. Let's just say he called me personally to asked about a good stylist a few questionable applications later :look: She's now natural.
I agree, have hubby watch the kids and go out and get it done by a pro. It's not worth threw breakage!
 
jerseyhaircare said:
I think it may end badly only because I'm bossy and he hates being told what to do. I can easily see us arguing as the perm is burning a hole in my skull, lol.
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Then you need to find another plan, point blank. Getting into an argument with relaxer on your scalp isn't worth the time or money you might save. It just isn't.

It's nice that he's willing to go along with the plan. Lots of points for that. But, the pros need to outweigh the cons here and it's not sounding like it's even close.
 
Don't play with your scalp. Get it done in a salon. It's worth the investment not to end up with under processed hair and a burned scalp. If he hasn't done it before (and wont listen to directions/criticism/advice) he will be really slow with the parting and will probably not apply correctly or he will be too rough with the parting. Speaking as somebody whose dad is a bald Nigerian male that raised two sons and never touched my hair :lol:
 
Theresamonet said:
Have hubby watch the kids, and go to the salon. It wont take that long. It doesn't sound like either of you know what you're doing. This could end badly. You won't be able to nurse and bond with your baby during the time you're relaxing your hair anyway.
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@jerseyhaircare, please let hubby watch the kids and take a few hours to yourself and for yourself and let a professional do this! A few hours away from the kids is better than months or even years of trying to repair damage to your hair from a botched perm by hubby. Not to mention the damage it may do to your marriage. I know if my hubby permed my hair and it turned out badly we would definitely have a MIS-UNDERSTANDING! :hammer:
 
jerseyhaircare said:
Yeah. Makes sense, but my last perm took 30 mins to do but was a 5 hour ordeal (hate salons.) Maybe I'll go to a local shop with my own rollers and tell them that I just want them to perm and roll up my hair. That way, I can walk out whenever I feel I've been there too long.
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Look for a beauty school. They can't hold people in the salon the way traditional salons do. So the services are all supervised and tend to move quick.

Also keep in mind, many traditional salons frown upon allowing patrons working on their own hair too much. So while they might be willing to use your products and even look the other way if you "play" with your hair a little, I doubt they will allow you to set your hair, etc. Just saying.
 
mzteaze said:
Look for a beauty school. They can't hold people in the salon the way traditional salons do. So the services are all supervised and tend to move quick.

Also keep in mind, many traditional salons frown upon allowing patrons working on their own hair too much. So while they might be willing to use your products and even look the other way if you "play" with your hair a little, I doubt they will allow you to set your hair, etc. Just saying.
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She's not going to roll her own hair. She's taking her rollers so that they can roll it but if they take too long after her hair is dry she can just walk out.
 
I let my husband help with a relaxer once. Never again. He wasn't paying attention to what I told him and he moved way too slow. I ended up underprocessed in the back (his section).

Go to the salon or a beauty college and enjoy your personal time.
 
My husband has relaxed my hair before and it came out ok. so I say Yes. The only thing is, he is very engineer-minded, slow and methodical and a relaxer application has to be done within a certain period of time, a concept he cannot grasp. We practiced with conditioner before and I make sure to base my scalp,forehead,ears and perimeter really well and to cover my previously relaxed hair with Mizani Honey Shield.

Now I have my BFF come help me, and my husband dyes my hair, he does a great job.
 
jerseyhaircare said:
Yeah. Makes sense, but my last perm took 30 mins to do but was a 5 hour ordeal (hate salons.) Maybe I'll go to a local shop with my own rollers and tell them that I just want them to perm and roll up my hair. That way, I can walk out whenever I feel I've been there too long.
Click to expand...

If the time is that serious for you, then don't even bother with rollers. Have them relax it and then walk out with your hair DCing under a plastic cap. Shouldn't take more than an hour if you get an early appointment at a well staffed salon.
 
Theresamonet said:
If the time is that serious for you, then don't even bother with rollers. Have them relax it and then walk out with your hair DCing under a plastic cap. Shouldn't take more than an hour if you get an early appointment at a well staffed salon.
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Thanks. I'll call a few places today and see if a Sunday appointment is possible.
 
Update of the perm. Short version-we applied it and it came out well.

Long version: As you know, I decided to go through with the perm. Reasoning is as followed:

1. I've permed my own hair since 2012, so I felt that I had a hang of the process. I only asked for his help because I'm too slow and can't apply it all under 20 mins and my mother/sister were not in town.
2. I wash my own hair/roller set it weekly, so the only difference was the 3o min perm process

Okie dokie. I prepared my hair as follows-didn't wash my hair x 2 weeks (partly to help with burning since I have a sensitive scalp/ partly due to sheer laziness). Day of, I based my scalp with avocado oil (next time I'll do something thicker like mineral oil) and applied thick Vaseline to sensitive skin areas (hairline/ears/neck). I pre-parted my hair earlier that morning-sectioned it in 4 parts then did mini braids and clipped in four sections to make application time quicker. Then applied a mixture of neutralizing shampoo and oil, then a coating of Vaseline to the pre permed hair to protect from run off. Put a towel around my neck, put the plastic cape over it, then put out all my necessary equipment-perm, brush, comb, shampoos, etc. Used the Lineage Lye relaxer, a Neutralizing shampoo, Lineage neutralizing conditioner, and Lineage deep conditioning masque. I added avocado oil and the Babyface pure protein liquid directly to the relaxer to help with burning and strength respectively.

The second my infant went down for her nap, I called hubby and got to work. We decided to do the half and half method, with him taking the back part and me standing in front of the mirror. Got two plastic bowels which he poured the perm in equal portions. Watching him handle the perm made me realize he had no clue what he was touching (he was real relaxed and careless with the pour.) I told him it was Lye-no reaction. I told him it was caustic-still no big reaction. Took off my rings and jewelry and told him to be careful because it would turn his nails yellow-he flipped out. He put the perm on the table and threatened to not help because he was afraid of the repercussions to his precious skin. I calmly told him that this perm was going to be done with or without him and I was going to do it without gloves yet I'm not afraid. My resolute attitude seemed to calm him into cooperation, and we got down to business.

Won't bore you with a step by step, but he did a pretty good job with the application-he made sure to only do the new growth and spilled very little (he was super afraid to get any on himself by that point.) Took about 15 mins for us to apply the whole perm then I spent 10 mins smoothing it by my self. All in all, my hair came out very strong and straight (straighter than I wanted). Next time, I'll spend less time smoothing because I don't like flat hair. But I will definitely use him again.

Added after pics-forgot to get before pics, but just assume my hair looked a hot mess.

Thanks for the advice ladies. LHCF has helped me make a lot of progress.



before.jpg hair 1.jpg hair 2.jpg hair.jpg last hair.jpg
 
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