UPDATE to The Right Way to Resolve Conflict

[mrselle]

My mother-in-law and I talked last night. I could tell from her tone that she really didn’t want to talk. She was very cold and her apology sounded rehearsed and forced. In turn, I reacted the same way. The conversation lasted about a minute….not very long. I still felt bad after our talk, so I decided to call her back. I felt like after all the things that were said, we needed to have a more extensive talk. I called her and I appreciated her taking the time to talk to me because she was busy. I told her that I was very sorry for yelling at her and for the way I approached the subject. I told her that I definitely could have approached the subject a different way. Then I asked her why she doesn’t like me. I told her I’d always sensed that she didn’t like me and I wanted to know why. She was very quiet and then said that over the years she had grown to care for me. We talked for about 15 minutes. During that time we did not discuss the incident that started the fight….there really wasn’t a need to rehash it….but she bring some things to my attention that I will work on. She brought up some things from the past….I’m talking stuff from when my husband and I were first married. I chose not to justify my actions and I chose not bring up anything from the past that she did or said….I just didn’t see the point in all that. Instead, I listened to her, apologized for anything I did or said to hurt her feelings. God really worked on me yesterday and I think because my heart was open I was able to listen to some of her criticisms, admit my wrongdoings and sincerely apologize. I can’t say whether or not her apology was sincere. Honestly, her tone indicated that she is pretty much through with me….at least for now anyway. At any rate, I’ve chosen not to focus on her and just do what is right. I am no longer going to sit back and nurse my wounds from the past (that is what I’ve been doing). I’m just ready to move on from this and I’m trying not to worry about whether or not she will do the same.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

My mother-in-law and I talked last night. I could tell from her tone that she really didn’t want to talk. She was very cold and her apology sounded rehearsed and forced. In turn, I reacted the same way. The conversation lasted about a minute….not very long. I still felt bad after our talk, so I decided to call her back. I felt like after all the things that were said, we needed to have a more extensive talk. I called her and I appreciated her taking the time to talk to me because she was busy. I told her that I was very sorry for yelling at her and for the way I approached the subject. I told her that I definitely could have approached the subject a different way. Then I asked her why she doesn’t like me. I told her I’d always sensed that she didn’t like me and I wanted to know why. She was very quiet and then said that over the years she had grown to care for me. We talked for about 15 minutes. During that time we did not discuss the incident that started the fight….there really wasn’t a need to rehash it….but she bring some things to my attention that I will work on. She brought up some things from the past….I’m talking stuff from when my husband and I were first married. I chose not to justify my actions and I chose not bring up anything from the past that she did or said….I just didn’t see the point in all that. Instead, I listened to her, apologized for anything I did or said to hurt her feelings. God really worked on me yesterday and I think because my heart was open I was able to listen to some of her criticisms, admit my wrongdoings and sincerely apologize. I can’t say whether or not her apology was sincere. Honestly, her tone indicated that she is pretty much through with me….at least for now anyway. At any rate, I’ve chosen not to focus on her and just do what is right. I am no longer going to sit back and nurse my wounds from the past (that is what I’ve been doing). I’m just ready to move on from this and I’m trying not to worry about whether or not she will do the same.

I'm very proud of you!

God bless you!

 

[Laela]

That's really good news... glad to see you two had that conversation. Let the healing begin!

 

[Shimmie]

My mother-in-law and I talked last night. I could tell from her tone that she really didn’t want to talk. She was very cold and her apology sounded rehearsed and forced. In turn, I reacted the same way.

The conversation lasted about a minute….not very long. I still felt bad after our talk, so I decided to call her back. I felt like after all the things that were said, we needed to have a more extensive talk. I called her and I appreciated her taking the time to talk to me because she was busy. I told her that I was very sorry for yelling at her and for the way I approached the subject. I told her that I definitely could have approached the subject a different way. Then I asked her why she doesn’t like me. I told her I’d always sensed that she didn’t like me and I wanted to know why.

She was very quiet and then said that over the years she had grown to care for me. We talked for about 15 minutes. During that time we did not discuss the incident that started the fight….there really wasn’t a need to rehash it….but she bring some things to my attention that I will work on. She brought up some things from the past….I’m talking stuff from when my husband and I were first married. I chose not to justify my actions and I chose not bring up anything from the past that she did or said….I just didn’t see the point in all that. Instead, I listened to her, apologized for anything I did or said to hurt her feelings.

God really worked on me yesterday and I think because my heart was open I was able to listen to some of her criticisms, admit my wrongdoings and sincerely apologize. I can’t say whether or not her apology was sincere. Honestly, her tone indicated that she is pretty much through with me….at least for now anyway.

At any rate, I’ve chosen not to focus on her and just do what is right. I am no longer going to sit back and nurse my wounds from the past (that is what I’ve been doing). I’m just ready to move on from this and I’m trying not to worry about whether or not she will do the same.

What a 'Mighty God' we serve, What a Mighty God we serve.
Angels bow before Him; Heaven and Earth Adore Him,
What a 'Mighty God' we serve.

Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him. Praise His Holy Name... Jesus! Praise Him!

Mrselle, the Lord just blessed me with a word for you.

"You are allowing Him to deal with and change 'YOU' instead of 'you' trying to force and change the situation.

Instead of going after the 'thorns' with a pair of hedge clippers, to chop them off; you instead, have chosen to arm yourself with the Peace of God which surpasses 'All' understanding; A Sure Peace which no thorns can penetrate.

My God! Mselle, do you see how you just bypassed the walls of the enemy and with the Love of God in your heart which gave you the boldness to confront the spirit of pride which inhabits the heart of your mother in law, and not let it have dominion over you and your peace, neither your love of God.

Keep your face toward Heaven and all you can do is just receive the warmth and the continuous flow of the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells on the inside of you and so richly....

Lord, Lord, Lord... O' Bless the Name of the Lord, Jesus!

Mrselle, Mrselle, Mrselle... Get ready for this.

It's not about her. It never was. satan wants to discredit your witness and your stand in the Lord. he's using your MIL as a distraction; But God! Mrselle, BUT GOD! But God! God is using it to make you all the more stronger................ in Him, against all odds and oppositions.

The Greater One lives on the insie of you and He always will.

Praise Him!

Sis, go and enjoy your husband. Make some special treats, Special Moments, to show him how special he is to you. He's not with 'Mama' anymore, he's chosen to be with you. He chose you ova' Mama and it's not going to change, not for her, nor anyone else. Enjoy being with your husband and allow no more of this to get in the mix. Instead of trying to figure her mess out. Create a more fruitful and loving marriage and relationship with the man who 'CHOSE' to be with you, as his lawfully, wedded wife.

In Jesus' Name...Amen and Amen!

Praise Him!

 

[mrselle]

What a 'Mighty God' we serve, What a Mighty God we serve.
Angels bow before Him; Heaven and Earth Adore Him,
What a 'Mighty God' we serve.

Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him. Praise His Holy Name... Jesus! Praise Him!

Mrselle, the Lord just blessed me with a word for you.

"You are allowing Him to deal with and change 'YOU' instead of 'you' trying to force and change the situation.

Instead of going after the 'thorns' with a pair of hedge clippers, to chop them off; you instead, have chosen to arm yourself with the Peace of God which surpasses 'All' understanding; A Sure Peace which no thorns can penetrate.

My God! Mselle, do you see how you just bypassed the walls of the enemy and with the Love of God in your heart which gave you the boldness to confront the spirit of pride which inhabits the heart of your mother in law, and not let it have dominion over you and your peace, neither your love of God.

Keep your face toward Heaven and all you can do is just receive the warmth and the continuous flow of the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells on the inside of you and so richly....

Lord, Lord, Lord... O' Bless the Name of the Lord, Jesus!

Mrselle, Mrselle, Mrselle... Get ready for this.

It's not about her. It never was. satan wants to discredit your witness and your stand in the Lord. he's using your MIL as a distraction; But God! Mrselle, BUT GOD! But God! God is using it to make you all the more stronger................ in Him, against all odds and oppositions.

The Greater One lives on the insie of you and He always will.

Praise Him!

Sis, go and enjoy your husband. Make some special treats, Special Moments, to show him how special he is to you. He's not with 'Mama' anymore, he's chosen to be with you. He chose you ova' Mama and it's not going to change, not for her, nor anyone else. Enjoy being with your husband and allow no more of this to get in the mix. Instead of trying to figure her mess out. Create a more fruitful and loving marriage and relationship with the man who 'CHOSE' to be with you, as his lawfully, wedded wife.

In Jesus' Name...Amen and Amen!

Praise Him!

Shimmie,

That word is indeed a blessing. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you. Thank you for being bold and kind and speaking the Word in love. I was thinking of you yesterday...I kept thinking about how you used the illustration of "pure waters" to diffuse the flames. After my talk with my mother-in-law all I could think about was pure waters flowing in a river. I'd close my eyes and see crystal clear, clean, pure water that is cool and delicious to drink. I told my husband about your illustration of Lot's wife looking back and turning into a pillar of salt...salt is bitter to the taste and a pillar of salt is a bitter stone....when we look back we become bitter and our hearts are hardened. He loved that illustration. He said, "I may have to use that sometime." In the entire time that he and I have been married this is the first time I have felt completely "cleansed" of the bitterness and resentment. When I say I'm moving on, I mean it.

God bless you!