Update:I'm a fool. I'm tired and disgusted at this time.

BlackHairDiva

Well-Known Member
Since I last wrote to all of you, I have gotten some legal help for my mom's situation. Everything is still very stressful and well, I'm still tired and I dread waking up because I dread the idea of dealing with all the things i need to do.

As I mentioned in my original post. I was going to take a trip ( small vacation) and I was going to rest and travel to my favorite city. I told my mom 4 weeks in advance about my trip and I reminded the day before the trip. The day of the trip, I saw her before I left, told her about when I will be back and at what time. Gave her a hug and a kiss. Told her that I would take pictures for her. I told her that I will call at what time I would call while I was on my trip.

Well, the trip was beautiful and my hair look a lot better. Its shorter cause i had to cut the bad ends...but It's healthy now. I walked and took pictures during my vacation. I loved it , I was happy, it was peaceful. I enjoyed walking a lot in the city. The people are kind over there. I have been wanting to move there since 2002. During my trip I called home 5 times. No answers.

I got home and I was excited to get home cause I was able to make it earlier... I couldn't wait to see mom and tell her about my trip.

Well folks....I'm a fool. A big ridiculous dummy. I can't help but wonder Why I'm here. I came home and mom greeted me and then mom signal me that she was gonna fake towards my older bro and sister in law. She was like:" Why didn't you tell me you had meetings? I was worried sick, I couldn't sleep!! Tell everyone where you were. There I am a 31 year old fool, who was supposedly/ unbeknown to me sneaked out of the house for days and now how those that make me look? Why couldn't she just said to my siblings BlackHairDiva is gone in so and so city she'll be back saturday at 11PM.

I'm so sick to the stomach, I don't even wanna see anyone. I've had it. As I'm typing I'm looking for a full time job and an apartment. I'm tired of being a fool. Just tired of being played like that.I'm a damn fool.


I got another older sister, she never answers her phone and told mom in an email that she wants to take time to set her life straight, financially, career wise and hopefully start a family of her own.

It's time for me to pack and not turn back.:nono: I'm a royal idiot.


Here is my original post sent last month:
My mom got a call from her bank and they claim she opened a credit card back in 1995. She doesn't remember opening a card. The thing about the date they mentioned is that its too familiar to me. I graduated High school in June 1995, so I remember pretty well that summer. I'm suspecting two things mom was out of country when this happened. Cause I noticed some pics she took while she was in africa. The bank is currently taking out any money that appears in the account. Mom can't even buy her medication and she has no income. I wish I could find her old passport or something that can prove she was out of the country but I can't.

Last week, the entire week, I have been on the phone with bankers, etc. I have been sleeping with my head right next to the phone...to make sure i don't miss no calls.

My dad passed a way 3 years ago, ever since he passed...its been hell.
I moved in with mom Took care of her and granny. Both have health problem. I'm working part time , at night. Im trying to apply for mba. Im attempting to study my gmat and toefl ...its hell and I rarely get to study cause Im busy with all the drama. I barely have time to myself and when i do...Im usually exhausted.

I have dealt with mom's house being robbed, vandalized, her being sicker than usual, other family death( both grandfathers on mom's side and an aunt on mom's side), financial issues mom had i help sort that out looking for answers, laws,etc. Doctors appointments i let her know when , where wake her up. On top of doing the laundry fixing meals, etc. I work part time , during evenings, I come home usually close to midnight...tired...I wake up exhausted, and go to bed exhausted.

Right now....I feel like an animal...my body is shaking I'm tired mentally, physically, emotionally and i feel hopeless. I'm sick of being in a situation where no one helps. I just want to crawl in a hole rumble and not come out! I super tired and I have had it....sorry folks for venting like this.

I'm tired!!!! Its been 3 years of doing everything for everyone and barely anything for me. I cant take it anymore. I'm hoping on the bus Friday, I will take a 12 hours bus ride. when the bus stops I will get my hair done then come back...I wish I didn't have to come back:nono: I'm tired...I just want to be stable and have a family of my own. I'm sick of this !! Sometimes I wonder why me!?!? What did I get to deserve this.

Any word of encouragement? any advice? anything... I'm desperate. I can't take it.
 
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So, why did she lie? Is it that she has an issue with making stuff up, or is it that she is petentially filing fraudulent claims stating that her credit is being abused?
You seem so tired of what ever it is, I pray that God will give you peace and sleep--
 
So, why did she lie? Is it that she has an issue with making stuff up, or is it that she is petentially filing fraudulent claims stating that her credit is being abused?
You seem so tired of what ever it is, I pray that God will give you peace and sleep--



she claims it was to cover me up.All I know is I'm sick of it and will do my darnest to move out. I'm sick of the covering up...everything is always a big problem in this house. Its annoying. I know for a fact she didn't open that credit card cause I have proof that she was not in the country and bank where the credit card is not available outside the country.
 
I'm really not understanding what she did or said but if you feel played just leave her to her own devices. You have a life to live too.
 
I have been wanting to move there since 2002.
MAKE THAT MOVE
because....



my hair look a lot better

It's healthy now.

trip was beautiful

I loved it

my favorite city.

The people are kind

I enjoyed walking a lot in the city.

I can also site the reasons why you should not stay ..they'd be the same as above as well
btw..you can't help anyone if you are like ...the list
below


I dread waking up
I feel like an animal...my body is shaking I'm tired mentally, physically, emotionally and i feel hopeless.
I just want to crawl in a hole
i let her know when , where wake her up. On top of doing the laundry fixing meals, etc. I work part time , during evenings, I come home usually close to midnight...tired...I wake up exhausted, and go to bed exhausted.

Call a meeting with your sibs and tell them what you have emailed
love your mother honor your mother help your sibs to help your mother
BUT GO ..LEAVE......
and go to that city you love..look for jobs there

this can be dealt with..your choosing to be sole live-in caretaker
is not the ONLY option..and you did choose this
sometimes and with love I say this ...as the daughter of
an extremely hyper-demanding mother,myself and my sister wld agree

sometimes there are no victims only volunteers
remember that
God bless
....
 
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SO BHD I think I get what you are saying? You took a trip and mom knew you were leaving but when you returned she made it seem like you were this kid that had run away from home? You do alot for her and your grandmom and the other sibling are living their lives but gave the impression that you are irresponsible by leaving for a trip and not telling her (even though you did)?

Its time to take out time for you. Bottom line. You need to take the same action of your sister and tell everyone that you are taking out time for YOU. I don't blame you for being upset. If you are the only person helping your mom she should have had your back while you were gone on the trip - it really wasn't a big deal.
 
I would love to apply for jobs in Boston. But I'm Canadian...so as a foreigner its harder for me to get one over there. I have a university degree and good work experience but I have no working visa for the USA.



MAKE THAT MOVE
because....
















I can also site the reasons why you should not stay ..they'd be the same as above as well
btw..you can't help anyone if you are like ...the list
below







Call a meeting with your sibs and tell them what you have emailed
love your mother honor your mother help your sibs to help your mother
BUT GO ..LEAVE......
and go to that city you love..look for jobs there

this can be dealt with..your choosing to be sole live-in caretaker
is not the ONLY option..and you did choose this
sometimes and with love I say this ...as the daughter of
an extremely hyper-demanding mother,myself and my sister wld agree

sometimes there are no victims only volunteers
remember that
God bless
....
 
I would love to apply for jobs in Boston. But I'm Canadian...so as a foreigner its harder for me to get one over there. I have a university degree and good work experience but I have no working visa for the USA.

Harder,perhaps,but not impossible..remember you are the woman who
has lived the impossible ..for someone else! And maybe not even harder ..for you..
Ask God for help!!! Pray diligently on this..envision the life you want
and let that life include accepting loving forgivng and supporting your mother in a way
that affirms both your lives without draining or harming you any longer...
SEE IT

Start appplying for jobs now in Boston Cambridge..especially
those that are foreign friendly
and let the company know you have outstanding references and are looking to relocate...they can bolster getting the work visa

all this means ...is that while you making a transition move out of the situaton...it does not mean..btw, staying there it means in the next location /job is merely a station enroute to your dream
do not settle!...my biz coach says go for the gold..he'd say
not second best boyfriend
not second best house
not second best job..


you not only see immediately about getting your work visa for the US..you begin
networking....send out resumes letters of inyent..recc..etc etc not only within your field ..but try women's universities as a means to reach out and get support.....
Get on the internet...there must be clubs ..associations..apply this effort with same diligence as you have your mother's legal issues

Look up apartments online..get excited:)
my coach told me when I complain about wanting to have a second res in Woodstock...
he said start a file
online or computer or hard copy
but start a file ... houses ... job.....contacts ....etcetc
do the same..label it Boston with a smiley
This will be life affirming and adventurous....
Boston...wow..that's an incredible city ..I immediately thought of Cambridge.
I have a dear friend AA poet..who went Harvard Divinity school and loved the atmosphere
 
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