Under what circumstances would you (or have you) cheat/ed?

[YankeeCandle]

The poll allows you to pick as many options as you want.

Assume an otherwise happy, stable, loving relationship with a loving partner to whom you pledged monogamy (whether married or not) and whom you would never consider leaving.

 

[Syrah]

Who goes into a relationship planning on cheating?

OP - I realize that you're trying to understand the circumstances under which one might cheat - but honestly, I don't think anyone PLANS to cheat. "Shoot...our collective assets have dipped below $x, its time for me to get to cheatin". If its that preconditioned before entering a relationship, one probably has no business actually entering into a relationship.

For 80% of cheaters, I think cheating is something that people think will never happen to them. "I can keep this relationship strictly professional". "He's not attracted to me, and I'm not attracted to him, I just like his company".

The other 20%, marriage vows never held much water to begin with.

 

[YankeeCandle]

Who goes into a relationship planning on cheating?.

Thanks for your response, Syrah!

I don't mean "as you enter your new relationship, what are the special cases on which you will give yourself a free pass to cheat?"

It's a hypothetical for people to imagine what it would be like to already be in a longterm loving relationship with a "good" partner, chugging along peaceably, and then to challenge themselves to wonder... "Hmmm, if X scenario happened, would I really stick to the straight and narrow path?"

I find that many people, especially women, castigate cheaters and swear up and down "it couldn't be me, no sir!" But as with any controversial topic such as abortion, many people do things things they'd never expect when faced with a tough, unprecedented (for them) situation. This poll asks people to hypohtetically (and anonymously!) face those situations.

 

[NOEChic]

none of my reasons are up there

 

[YankeeCandle]

none of my reasons are up there

Yeah, I posted it accidentally before I could make one of the fields "Other." I don't think the system lets us edit polls.

 

[Britt]

If I were to cheat, the reason(s) would almost always be emotional. There would have to be something really lacking in my relationship to fully tempt me to step out. I can't say it would never be purely physical b/c I'm not married and been w/ the same partner forever. But even so, if I were to step out on my marriage b/c I was soo attracted to another person, I'm sure some form of emotional feelings and lust would develop for the person. Anytime in the past where I've thought about stepping out, or leaving my SO for someone else, there was always something(s) vitally lacking in my relationship and the thought of someone else was simply an escape. When I was content w/ the person and happy in the relationship, I never felt tempted to go astray. It would have to be something fundamentally wrong, unhealthy, or simply I'm not fully into the person I'm with.

Having spoken to a few female friends of mine, they pretty much have the same consensus. Cheating for me wouldn't just be a one time thing b/c I'm simply attracted to the person. I understand how men do this b/c they are visual creatures and usually don't have feelings for a quick fling. That's why they are able to love their gf/wife and cheat on her for something quick that's readily available .

This time just drives home for me why I should not settle and be true to myself and wait for 'my type' that I am compatible with... I'd hate to settle for 'Mr. Nice Guy' and have lukewarm feelings for him b/c I'm getting older and he's 'good enough' because I know in the back of my mind I will always lust after what it is I really want. There are key personality traits that I am compatible with and I hope to find that in my next mate.

 

[asakeba]

I couldn't imagine cheating under any circumstances with the man I'm with now. I'm lucky to have him and I'd rather leave him than to cheat. He's too good a man to do that to.

 

[Rastafarai]

I couldn't imagine cheating under any circumstances with the man I'm with now. I'm lucky to have him and I'd rather leave him than to cheat. He's too good a man to do that to.

Co-signing.

 

[ivyness]

I couldn't imagine cheating under any circumstances with the man I'm with now. I'm lucky to have him and I'd rather leave him than to cheat. He's too good a man to do that to.

Co-signing x2

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

I'll be the bad girl....while I don't agree with cheating....

If my man was not able to satisfy me anymore...and wasn't trying to...

I would CONSIDER cheating! But I couldn't go back and forth like that so I would file for a divorce.

 

[Sunrise]

If there was a sexual problem that couldn't or/he won't resolve, me and him would have to have a serious chat.

 

[Eluv]

Because I have needs and once a week just didn't do it for me.

Sent from my PC36100 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[fula97]

My man has severe sexual problems that counseling/meds has not solved

My man is in a coma/vegetative state
These two. I like sex and cannot see myself resigning to never having it. If we were really close I'd feel guilty leaving someone in a coma/vegetative state but would have to reevaluate if the situation goes on for years. If I really cared about someone I doubt he would want me to stop living life while he has been in a coma/vegetative state for yrs

 

[chickle]

I don't understand what cheating is to everyone because I do not sleep with anybody, even the men I date, but I guess I am an emotional cheater.I will cheat when an upgrade comes my way, but it is just to test the waters to see if I am feeling the upgrade, and usually I am already tired of the person I am dating, but am afraid to be alone.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

If the current isnt hitting it right or large enough then I would do it again..I pray if I ever marry this isnt the case I would hate to end it over something like that.I have a high demand in that area.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I used to be a serial cheater. I did it because I was selfish and could get away with it.

 

[Britt]

If the current isnt hitting it right or large enough then I would do it again..I pray if I ever marry this isnt the case I would hate to end it over something like that.I have a high demand in that area.

Yepppp... that's why you should get w/someone that is hitting it right before you settle down w/him ... This is all a part of my compatibility package . Both of us have to be sexually in sync w/ one another.

 

[smwrigh3]

Me and my boyfriend have celebrities passes....

Like if he met Pinky pornstar (his favorite) I would turn the other cheek

But I haven't figured mine out yet... Lance Gross or Idris Elba would would be nice