TWA BLUES: ridiculously dry and tangled!

S

strands.of.gold

New Member
So dry and tangled, in fact, that I started thinking about texlaxing today.:look:

Ladies, I need serious help.

I bc'd 3 months ago after an 11 month transition, I have 3c-4a-4b coils everywhere, and I feel like I'm not doing things correctly:nono:

I try to DC regularly, and I co-wash whenever I have the time, but I'm still having a number of problems:

First of all, I know that detangling is important, but I feel like I don't have enough hair to detangle properly, or wash my hair in sections (at least I don't feel like I do) because of shrinkage. I don't mind the shrinkage at all, but I'm not able to get rid of tangles after I wash it, and even when I try it just hurts so much that I give up :wallbash: because I'm not doing it regularly enough.

I usually do twist-outs, but I slacked off majorly because of midterms these past few weeks, and I wore my twa unstretched for the majority of that 2 week period, and that made the tangles worse, of course.

Also, when I do my twist-outs, I use cantu shea butter leave in, which I love for twist outs, but maybe this isn't enough for my hair? After 1 day or so of a twist-out, my hair is super dry and I just want to DC, which completely rules out the possibility of day 3/day 4 hairstyles :wallbash: (and as a college student, I DO NOT have the time to re-do twists every 2 days!!!!) Also, I'm not confident enough in my little twisties to wear them as a protective style, so my hair doesn't stay stretched long enough and I legit feel like it's not growing because of that:nono:, and even when I do try to leave my twists in for a few days, they're dry and fuzzy the next day (even with a satin scarf at night!) and they just don't feel good at all!

Should I be using shea butter? What can I do to keep my hair soft and moisturized so I can have day 2,3, or 4 hair? Lastly, what on EARTH can I do about tangles of the twa variety? I haven't had an actual hair cut (minus my chopping my hair off in my bathroom), so maybe I need a trim?

I'll leave it at that for now, PLEASE someone give me some guidance here.
 
Aw, sounds like you need a hug: :hug3:

Now, before you let go of 15 months of growing your natural hair:

For moisture: Do not clarify with each wash. Use a moisturizing shampoo (V05 Moisture Milks are pretty good), and only clarify when necessary. For a deep conditioner, I have to recommend Neutrogena Triple Moisture Hair Mask (or any really good mask). Use it as a deep conditioner once or twice a week (start off with once, then work from there), slathering olive oil over mask, and sitting under the drier for about 15 to 20 minutes. For cowashes, try Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner.
Use a heavy moisturizer when styling (one such as Amla and Olive Heavy Cream by Qhemet Biologics), and extra virgin olive oil to seal.
To preserve twistouts without retwisting, lightly moistuize ends (if necessary) and gather hair on top of head. This may be impractical b/c of your length; you may try sleeping with a puff, though I am not sure how this would work. Retwisting in large twists may be your only option for preserving your twistout. Spritz hair (lightly!!!) in the morning with a leave in or conditioner/water mix to refresh curls; reshape hair and go.
This should combat dryness completely; you may have to tweak the regimen a bit to suit your needs.

About your tangling, it sounds as though you are letting your hair dry shrunken, which is an open invitation for tangles and more tangles. Though it may seem daunting, detangling and/or stretching is necessary. A way to make the task less arduous is to use a shower comb, and detangle hair while it is slathered in conditioner. If this doesn't help, a trim may be called for.

Also, you may find kinky twists or braided extensions to be a great alternative to doing your hair every day/ every other day if its becoming too time consuming (only saying this because you mentioned a lack of time for hair).

HTH!
 
CurlTalk, thank you so much!

And yes, the more I think about it, the more I realize that my hair has not been properly trimmed in a long, long time (even before my transition). When I try to detangle, I use a wide tooth comb with alooooot of conditioner in my hair, and I even start off by finger combing, and it's STILL terrible. Yea, I think I need a trim. Right now, I'm noticing little coily things that start JUST at my ends, even if the rest of the hair is detangled, and I start trying to pull them apart and they're just not getting moisturized no matter what I do!

Also, I have a small tub of the Amla and Olive Heavy Cream, but it does nothing for my hair. In fact, it feels super dry and coated after I apply it to my hair. Thanks for the suggestion anyway!
 
I agree with Adora. I'm a transitioning 4a/b and I can tell you that Sta-sof-fro and/or S-curl No Drip are lifesavers for my hair type. Without these products, it seems like nothing will combat the dryness for very long. Give them a try!
 
How about trying Roux porosity control?? I used it first time last week and noticed a difference straight away. And again this week; it's even softer.
Also Cantu products have quite a bit a protein in it and may be contributing to your dryness.
 
Firstly, :bighug:

I completely understand where you're coming from with the time factor. Taking care of hair can be time-consuming, but it's often necessary to achieve the desired results.

Detangling: I think CurlTalk's suggestion about detangling with conditioner in the shower was great. Also, don't underestimate the importance of trims. If you detangle with a wide-toothed comb & loads of conditioner & use your fingers & you're still having problems, maybe it is time for a trim.
Also, continue to use your fingers BEFORE detangling with a comb because your fingers are gentler than a comb.

Moisturizing: Maybe you should DC each time you wash your hair, especially if you wash it once a week or once every two weeks. I see that you co-wash, though, so I'm not sure if co-washing + DCing would be too much. The cantu shea butter leave-in has protein in it, so it may be too much for your hair. Speaking of protein, where is it in your routine (besides the Cantu leave-in)? Maybe your hair is dry b/c you don't have an adequate moisture-protein balance. Perhaps products that are already moisture-protein balanced (Aubrey Organics GPB & Organic Root Stimulator Replenishing Pak) would be good for you.
Maybe you should try an acutal moisturizer too. The ones that come to mind are S-Curl, Hawaiian Silky 14-n-1, Hydratherma Naturals Daily Moisturizing Growth Lotion, and the Jane Carter Solution Hair Nourishing Cream.

Twistouts: I only keep twistouts in for two days because my hair gets progressively drier as the days march on, and I'm not going to let my hair remain dry just to preserve a hairstyle. I wear wigs as protective styles when I'm not wearing twistouts.
 
How many inches of hair do you actually have and what's your way to detangle?

I ask because I'm around armpit length and was thinking of cutting because washing & detangling has turned into a 1.5-2hr session for me that I dread. My TWA was a breeze to look after. If your hair is still too short to section then I believe just applying lots of creamy conditioner with good slip to your hair, using fingers to detangle and then running through a wide-tooth comb and maybe a Denman should be a good way.

If you're finding your hair is getting too tangled then the issue may be that your hair is not properly moisturised in the day-time. The shea may work for your twists but are they really working to keep your hair soft and moistourised even if not in twists?

When I first BC'd, I did a lot of twistouts but found if my hair was properly moisture I could wear shrunken fros with minimal tangling issues. I think constant twistouts can actually be too much manipulation for some people. Btw, I never had second day hair when I had a twa nor I did wear twists for the same reason as you. I used to rinse my hair with water every morning and then apply castor oil to the damp hair. I believe was also the key to my hair not getting too dry or tangled. When my hair got longer, I had to adapt my reggie because daily rinsing was no longer realistic. Around this point, I just started wearing braid extensions for most of the year and my hair took off.

Btw, I would consider my hair thick, dense, cottony 4a.
 
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tocktick said:
How many inches of hair do you actually have and what's your way to detangle?

I ask because I'm around armpit length and was thinking of cutting because washing & detangling has turned into a 1.5-2hr session for me that I dread. My TWA was a breeze to look after. If your hair is still too short to section then I believe just applying lots of creamy conditioner with good slip to your hair, using fingers to detangle and then running through a wide-tooth comb and maybe a Denman should be a good way.

If you're finding your hair is getting too tangled then the issue may be that your hair is not properly moisturised in the day-time. The shea may work for your twists but are they really working to keep your hair soft and moistourised even if not in twists?

When I first BC'd, I did a lot of twistouts but found if my hair was properly moisture I could wear shrunken fros with minimal tangling issues. I think constant twistouts can actually be too much manipulation for some people. Btw, I never had second day hair when I had a twa nor I did wear twists for the same reason as you. I used to rinse my hair with water every morning and then apply castor oil to the damp hair. I believe was also the key to my hair not getting too dry or tangled. When my hair got longer, I had to adapt my reggie because daily rinsing was no longer realistic. Around this point, I just started wearing braid extensions for most of the year and my hair took off.

Btw, I would consider my hair thick, dense, cottony 4a.
Click to expand...

I'm mostly 4a/3c and I'm a full shoulder length STRETCHED, if that gives you an idea. I have no idea how many inches of length I have otherwise :drunk:

and these are all really great suggestions, ladies! I think I'm gonna get a trim in the next week or so, purchase some more shea butter, start DCing regularly and hopefully after the trim, detangle sessions will go easier because even WITH tons of conditioner, finder combing, and combing with a wide tooth comb under running water, it's extremely difficult.

if these things don't work..maybe i'll look into roux porosity control.


BUMP!
 
strands.of.gold said:
So dry and tangled, in fact, that I started thinking about texlaxing today.:look:

Ladies, I need serious help.

I bc'd 3 months ago after an 11 month transition, I have 3c-4a-4b coils everywhere, and I feel like I'm not doing things correctly:nono:

I try to DC regularly, and I co-wash whenever I have the time, but I'm still having a number of problems:

First of all, I know that detangling is important, but I feel like I don't have enough hair to detangle properly, or wash my hair in sections (at least I don't feel like I do) because of shrinkage. I don't mind the shrinkage at all, but I'm not able to get rid of tangles after I wash it, and even when I try it just hurts so much that I give up :wallbash: because I'm not doing it regularly enough.

I usually do twist-outs, but I slacked off majorly because of midterms these past few weeks, and I wore my twa unstretched for the majority of that 2 week period, and that made the tangles worse, of course.

Also, when I do my twist-outs, I use cantu shea butter leave in, which I love for twist outs, but maybe this isn't enough for my hair? After 1 day or so of a twist-out, my hair is super dry and I just want to DC, which completely rules out the possibility of day 3/day 4 hairstyles :wallbash: (and as a college student, I DO NOT have the time to re-do twists every 2 days!!!!) Also, I'm not confident enough in my little twisties to wear them as a protective style, so my hair doesn't stay stretched long enough and I legit feel like it's not growing because of that:nono:, and even when I do try to leave my twists in for a few days, they're dry and fuzzy the next day (even with a satin scarf at night!) and they just don't feel good at all!

Should I be using shea butter? What can I do to keep my hair soft and moisturized so I can have day 2,3, or 4 hair? Lastly, what on EARTH can I do about tangles of the twa variety? I haven't had an actual hair cut (minus my chopping my hair off in my bathroom), so maybe I need a trim?

I'll leave it at that for now, PLEASE someone give me some guidance here.
Click to expand...

Unrefined shea butter is the ultimate moisturizer for my hair, I usually mix it with coconut oil and evoo and use for my twists. Are u sealing your hair after applying the shea butter leave in, for some people (me) a leave in is not enough for moisture, hence I use my leave ins in conjunction with my shea butter or KBB hair milk and I make sure to seal with oil (evoo, coconut, castor)

Also how often are you shampooing? I usually use shampoo 1-2x per month, otherwise i just go wash or use a baking soda rinse to clarify.

It might help to mix a gel with your moisturizer when you twist so that your twist outs last longer, I suggest eco styler.

Also when your twists outs get old you can lightly rinse them and apply a little gel for a stretched wash and go look.
 
^^Loveisyou, your body looks tight! Sorry, very OT. :hide:

OP, I'm with Adora on the Soul Glo Flow. And then I want to ask you something: Have you considered wearing your hair as a combed out puff instead of twist-outs? I ask this because it seems to me, a lot of people do not like to wear an afro puff that is not chunky and I think that is so becoming of 4B hair and one way to avoid tangles. I also believe that porosity control or an ACV rinse might be a good idea coz perhaps your strands are rough, hence the tangles. And yes don't sleep on trims.

The reason I suggest combing out 4B hair is I honestly have never had long detangling sessions except the one time I've shared ad nauseum when I went to be without braiding/twisting my hair. And I honestly think it's because I keep my hair fully detangled at all times. When my hair was a TWA, keeping this was even easier and I loved how it looked combed out:
SelfdoneCornrowsandNaturalPuff-vi.jpg

My only product was S Curl (that if you aren't talking about wash day) and I plaited and baggied at night and combed it out in the day. It stayed detangled and in the evening, parting to rebraid was a breeze.

Incidentally the one time I mention where I had to detangle was after I'd worn a twist-out. I was too lazy to retwist for the night and was faced with horror the next day. I doubt it'd have been that much of a headache had I worn my hair combed out instead of a twist-out. Not saying not to wear twist-outs but I honestly think if you combed out your hair more often and braided every night and baggied and used jheri juice, you'd be pleasantly surprised at how easy your TWA would be to manage. I think an ACV rinse wouldn't hurt either.
 
Girl, I know exactly what you mean... I was going through it just last week! I'll shot you some stuff FB wise, k? :yep:

What are you using to DC with and what do you use for a co-wash? And what are you using as a moisturizer? The cantu?
 
Please give us more details about what your are using. It may be the products. It sounds like this may be an issue of porosity or not enough moisture. My hair is 4ab and past bsl and it doesn't tangle the way you're describing.
 
Ms Lala said:
Please give us more details about what your are using. It may be the products. It sounds like this may be an issue of porosity or not enough moisture. My hair is 4ab and past bsl and it doesn't tangle the way you're describing.
Click to expand...

I was thinking the same. I remember when I was using Cantu it didn't give me a lick of moisture. And you need a conditioner that actually says "deep" on it because it has some kind of chemical that makes it a deep conditioner. I don't quite remember.
 
ROBOTxcore said:
I was thinking the same. I remember when I was using Cantu it didn't give me a lick of moisture. And you need a conditioner that actually says "deep" on it because it has some kind of chemical that makes it a deep conditioner. I don't quite remember.
Click to expand...

Yeah my hair hated Cantu. I think it has cones in it or something. It did nothing 4 my hair.
 
ROBOTxcore said:
Girl, I know exactly what you mean... I was going through it just last week! I'll shot you some stuff FB wise, k? :yep:

What are you using to DC with and what do you use for a co-wash? And what are you using as a moisturizer? The cantu?
Click to expand...
thanks honey! and yea..I've been using cantu alot since I ran out of shea butter, but I bought a huuuge tub today from whole foods so i'm gonna lay off the cantu

Ms Lala said:
Please give us more details about what your are using. It may be the products. It sounds like this may be an issue of porosity or not enough moisture. My hair is 4ab and past bsl and it doesn't tangle the way you're describing.
Click to expand...
DC: Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose (but I admit, I've been slacking lately)
CO-Washing: Organix Coconut Milk conditioner, or TJ Nourish Spa Condiitioner. It is absolutely amazing and gives me so much slip, but I still can't detangle my hair as good as I need to.
Shampoo: TJ Nourish Spa (maybe once a week)

I don't think my products are the issue here (except for the Cantu), I just think that I need to use shea butter more often and get a trim. I'm schedule an appointment for next week, and I'll keep you guys updated!
 
strands.of.gold said:
thanks honey! and yea..I've been using cantu alot since I ran out of shea butter, but I bought a huuuge tub today from whole foods so i'm gonna lay off the cantu


DC: Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose (but I admit, I've been slacking lately)
CO-Washing: Organix Coconut Milk conditioner, or TJ Nourish Spa Condiitioner. It is absolutely amazing and gives me so much slip, but I still can't detangle my hair as good as I need to.
Shampoo: TJ Nourish Spa (maybe once a week)

I don't think my products are the issue here (except for the Cantu), I just think that I need to use shea butter more often and get a trim. I'm schedule an appointment for next week, and I'll keep you guys updated!
Click to expand...

i've reviewed almost all the products that you've been using. :yep: tj's nourish spa is amazing, but you may want to try another DC. how do you feel about the AO HSR? it didn't give me much conditioning. you can read my review on it here: http://curlypop.blogspot.com/2009/12/review-aubrey-organics-honeysuckle-rose.html

how are you liking to the shea butter? when i first tried it, i liked it, but it quickly became way too heavy for my hair. i found my one true love in avocado butter. :love: it's very moisturizing and not nearly has heavy as shea butter. it's affordable too.

do you moisturize on dry hair? how often are you cowashing? and you might not need to shampoo often since the products you use don't cause much buildup (assuming you nix the cantu and don't use a lot of shea butter). what are you using to shampoo?
 
ROBOTxcore said:
i've reviewed almost all the products that you've been using. :yep: tj's nourish spa is amazing, but you may want to try another DC. how do you feel about the AO HSR? it didn't give me much conditioning. you can read my review on it here: http://curlypop.blogspot.com/2009/12/review-aubrey-organics-honeysuckle-rose.html

how are you liking to the shea butter? when i first tried it, i liked it, but it quickly became way too heavy for my hair. i found my one true love in avocado butter. :love: it's very moisturizing and not nearly has heavy as shea butter. it's affordable too.

do you moisturize on dry hair? how often are you cowashing? and you might not need to shampoo often since the products you use don't cause much buildup (assuming you nix the cantu and don't use a lot of shea butter). what are you using to shampoo?
Click to expand...
I like HSR, but I may be open to trying new things. Can you suggest something super moisturizing for me? I know you try out alot of different things, so let me know!

I like shea butter, but I also fine it to be too heavy at times. But because of my extreme dryness at the moment, I'm gonna give it another try and then we can discuss avocado butter if I'm not happy with it.

I don't moisturiz on 100% dry hair. I always wet my hair with my trusty spray bottle and then moisturize. I co-wash at least 1-2 per week, but now that it's getting warmer, should I kick it up a notch? and I use TJ Nourish Spa to shampoo.
 
something super cheap that works wonders as a DC is pantene's relaxed and natural deep conditioning mask. i've been using it since i was relaxed and i use it now that i'm natural. i've been using it for two years now and it always does the trick. i would make sure i DC AT LEAST once a week, maybe even twice until you get your moisture levels up.

and i moisturize on damp hair too. have you tried sealing with an oil. shea butter should be enough, but you can never go wrong with sealing.

maybe you can doctor your condish up with some coconut oil or olive oil. there are lots of small things you can add to your condishes to kick up the moisture level.

i've never tried the TJ shampoo but i've heard a lot of good things about it. but like i said, you prob don't need to shampoo as often. i do it once a month and that works for me. :yep:
 
ROBOTxcore said:
something super cheap that works wonders as a DC is pantene's relaxed and natural deep conditioning mask. i've been using it since i was relaxed and i use it now that i'm natural. i've been using it for two years now and it always does the trick. i would make sure i DC AT LEAST once a week, maybe even twice until you get your moisture levels up.

and i moisturize on damp hair too. have you tried sealing with an oil. shea butter should be enough, but you can never go wrong with sealing.

maybe you can doctor your condish up with some coconut oil or olive oil. there are lots of small things you can add to your condishes to kick up the moisture level.

i've never tried the TJ shampoo but i've heard a lot of good things about it. but like i said, you prob don't need to shampoo as often. i do it once a month and that works for me. :yep:
Click to expand...

you're awesome =)

yea..I've heard good things about the pantene mask from 2 other people, but your recommendation makes 3, so I can't ignore it. Can you post a picture of the jar so I can be sure to get the right one?

I usually doctor up my DC with coconut oil, but if I use the pantene, should I doctor that up as well? Maybe I'll add a little EVOO to my normal co-wash conditioner for an extra kick for the next few weeks.
 
I have to agree with Nonie and the others that suggested S-Curl No drip. That stuff is like gold to me. I love it and wish I had started using it sooner. I have been having the best wash and gos ever since I started using S-curl.

Also look into how much water you are consuming everyday. Are you getting at least 8 glasses a day?
 
strands.of.gold said:
I like HSR, but I may be open to trying new things. Can you suggest something super moisturizing for me? I know you try out alot of different things, so let me know!

I like shea butter, but I also fine it to be too heavy at times. But because of my extreme dryness at the moment, I'm gonna give it another try and then we can discuss avocado butter if I'm not happy with it.

I don't moisturiz on 100% dry hair. I always wet my hair with my trusty spray bottle and then moisturize. I co-wash at least 1-2 per week, but now that it's getting warmer, should I kick it up a notch? and I use TJ Nourish Spa to shampoo.
Click to expand...
a great DC that i've been using lately-Silk Elements Moisturizing Treatment (that might be the right name, idk) found in the big round tub at Sally's for only $6.99.
do you DC with heat?? that makes a big difference for me-i always sit under the dryer when I DC.
are you opposed to cones and non-natural products??
if not, i can give you a few different moisturizing leave-ins to try that are straight from your local drugstore, and very affordable.
in addition, no matter what moisturizer i use, i like to seal it in with castor oil. this really makes all the difference for me.
 
strands.of.gold said:
thanks honey! and yea..I've been using cantu alot since I ran out of shea butter, but I bought a huuuge tub today from whole foods so i'm gonna lay off the cantu


DC: Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose (but I admit, I've been slacking lately)
CO-Washing: Organix Coconut Milk conditioner, or TJ Nourish Spa Condiitioner. It is absolutely amazing and gives me so much slip, but I still can't detangle my hair as good as I need to.
Shampoo: TJ Nourish Spa (maybe once a week)

I don't think my products are the issue here (except for the Cantu), I just think that I need to use shea butter more often and get a trim. I'm schedule an appointment for next week, and I'll keep you guys updated!
Click to expand...

Your products do sound good. I would clarify and try doing a treatment w/porosity control followed by a DC. I know I get bad tangles when my hair porosity is off. Also cowashing led to tangles for me because of all the manipulation. My hair does better w/ weekly washing and moisturizing during the week. DCing after ever wash has also helped w/tangles and I keep my hair in a stretched state. I know you have a twa but it sounds like you have enough hair to dry in twists and twist or braid at night. My hair holds moisture better and stays detangled when I do this. I'm not sure of your expectations in terms of detangling either. I find that my hair is never completely tangle free when I am wearing it curly and it doesn't really need to be.
 
Four really good products that work for me:

Elasta QP Conditioning Shampoo
Keracare Intensive Restorative Masque
Roux Porosity Control Corrector and Conditioner
Mane 'n Tail Detangler

I am 4a/b and 6 months post relaxer (attempting to transition; we'll see) and the four items above make my new growth react and feel like butter. They are my holy grail for real.
 
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