Turn to God for Your Man or Find Him Yourself? (blog post)

[Glib Gurl]

I know we've discussed this ad naseum in this forum, the Christian Forum, OT But, LJ always has something interesting to say so I thought I'd post it here so we can have the conversation one mo' gin . . . .

http://yeahshesaidit.com/2011/05/24/up-for-debate-turn-to-god-for-your-man-or-find-him-yourself/

(And of course, she doesn't let you copy-and-paste from her site, so you have to actually click on the link to read the post )

Thoughts?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hmmm.... Interesting read :scratchch

I am really kind of torn to tell you the truth. I see both sides of the argument.

I have somewhere to go right now, but maybe I'll write more later when I get back.

Thanks for th article though. I like hearing/reading different perspctives on things.

 

[aribell]

No matter what you're [sic] strategy is, I believe God is going to lead you to Mr. Right. As a woman of faith I have to believe that if things aren't going the way you want it's because God is in the process of alerting you to Mr. Wrong. In the mean time there's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there.

I agree with this. I believe that generally we are not going to accidentally miss marriage. For me, faith in God means that I look at my life thus far and see that things have continually worked out for the best even with my mistakes (He's never failed me yet as they say), so I believe the same in this regard.

I think the issue is that we don't like the "best" that is for us--it's not necessarily what we want when we want it. I look around the world and people suffer from so many serious illnesses, tragedies, pain, etc. No one (or very few) is exempted from their own personal struggle or hurt. People have all different kinds of blessings in different measures, and some people have to wait or work harder than others to receive them. It's just life.

But regarding a strategy, so to speak, you can only do so much. I don't see a difference between exercising patience and being a "go getter" as she calls it. Having a life, going places and meeting people naturally, responding to those who are interested in you, etc. is just a normal part of life. I could go to a happy hour just to socialize and have fun, or I could go with the mentality that I'm looking for a man, but I don't think either mentality will make the outcome any different. And I think sometimes women have success just "letting go" is that they've taken the pressure off of themselves and so are more positive and give off that vibe. But still, I don't know if women don't do enough so much as do the wrong things--like entertaining go-nowhere relationships, tolerating things that will ultimately be dealbreakers, rejecting the nice guys, etc.

 

[renren]

I dont think there is a formula to it or a right or wrong way....everyone has different personalities/different ways of going about doing things but I do know that if God has something for you then its yours.

I also believe that if you are praying for something/someone then you need to step out in faith and put urself out there to receive. Im not talking about being needy an desperate and throwing urself at men... but being approachable/open and warm, showing interest/availability etc.

 

[Love Always]

I liked what she had to say. I believe you should make your request known to God, with that said if you want to be married start putting yourself out there to meet men. I do believe that God helps those who helps themselves. I know plenty of single women in the church that has been singles for years because they're "waiting" on God and they have found themselves by themselves with this logic.


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[Glib Gurl]

I liked what she had to say. I believe you should make your request known to God, with that said if you want to be married start putting yourself out there to meet men. I do believe that God helps those who helps themselves. I know plenty of single women in the church that has been singles for years because they're "waiting" on God and they have found themselves by themselves with this logic.

I agree with this . . . lately, though, I have thought not only about putting myself out there more but also preparing myself mentally and practically for what it means to be a wife. So, I'm starting to learn how to cook I'm trying to be more responsible with my finances. Things like that . . . .

 

[Renewed1]

I am focused on improving myself...for myself...and to attract my FH. I asked God to bring various things to me that I'm doing wrong/needs improvement and I asked God to open my ears to hear and receive what is being told to me. My desire to be married haven't went away, I even have my list of my ideal hubby. But changing my focus has helped alot.

Example:
Pray and release other people's problems
Seeking God and trusting Him more
Being more feminine
Dressing well when I leave the house (even to take out the garbage).
Dressing well at home in my lounge clothes (matching)
Learning not to be so straight forward. Soften my answers
COOKING...actually, I'm beginning to like this. But I won't do this all the time. I know me.

Mind you this list is within two weeks of "Letting Go and Letting God" work on me.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

I am focused on improving myself...for myself...and to attract my FH. I asked God to bring various things to me that I'm doing wrong/needs improvement and I asked God to open my ears to hear and receive what is being told to me. My desire to be married haven't went away, I even have my list of my ideal hubby. But changing my focus has helped alot.

Example:
Pray and release other people's problems
Seeking God and trusting Him more
Being more feminine
Dressing well when I leave the house (even to take out the garbage).
Dressing well at home in my lounge clothes (matching)
Learning not to be so straight forward. Soften my answers
COOKING...actually, I'm beginning to like this. But I won't do this all the time. I know me.

Mind you this list is within two weeks of "Letting Go and Letting God" work on me.

Funny I'm doing the same thing. I feel like I'm a the last stretch and he is about to enter my life at any moment.

I'm actually starting to try to get the rhythm of all the things i need to do as a wife( I'm single myself). House management keeping everything tidy, better food management, better budgeting and everything that you mentioned above.

 

[Renewed1]

We're on the same page, especially with the bold.

Funny I'm doing the same thing. I feel like I'm a the last stretch and he is about to enter my life at any moment.

I'm actually starting to try to get the rhythm of all the things i need to do as a wife( I'm single myself). House management keeping everything tidy, better food management, better budgeting and everything that you mentioned above.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I am focused on improving myself...for myself...and to attract my FH. I asked God to bring various things to me that I'm doing wrong/needs improvement and I asked God to open my ears to hear and receive what is being told to me. My desire to be married haven't went away, I even have my list of my ideal hubby. But changing my focus has helped alot.

Example:
Pray and release other people's problems
Seeking God and trusting Him more
Being more feminine
Dressing well when I leave the house (even to take out the garbage).

Dressing well at home in my lounge clothes (matching)
Learning not to be so straight forward. Soften my answers
COOKING...actually, I'm beginning to like this. But I won't do this all the time. I know me.

Mind you this list is within two weeks of "Letting Go and Letting God" work on me.

^^^Those two things are huge for me right now. I know that Steve Harvey is persona non grata around here, but in his second book he said something that stayed with me . . . "Don't let your 'off' day be her 'on' day . . . ." Now don't get me wrong - I don't think you have to look runway ready at all times to land a man, but even just taking a few moments to put myself together when going out or even in lounging around the house just makes me feel better if that makes sense . . . ..

 

[Renewed1]

^^I get what Steve was saying. Look presentable as much as possible. Men are visual and you don't ever, as much as possible, want him to look at you with the stank face.

Personally, I feel men should look their best at all times. ESPECIALLY, at home, boxers and a T-shirt is not cute to me.