Trapping a man...

[Oneprettypa]

My MIL suggested I get off the pill and not tell my husband and start trying to get pregnant!

Ok- nevermind the fact that I'm not ready for a kid, I think this is just WRONG!

Am I wrong here or is bad advice? I need to check myself first.

 

[Oneprettypa]

MIL = mother in law

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

The answer is all kinds of obvious to me. I personally think bringing a child into the world should be a joint decision. It's one thing if it happens by accident - something else entirely if the creation of a child was a sneaky manipulative tactic. What a way to start off the blessing of parenthood!

@ MIL

 

[Charlie555]

This is WRONG! Have u & your husband discussed starting a family at some point? If he doesn't want kids and u knowingly stop the pill it could put a lot of stress on your marriage.

And what if down the line your MIL spilled the beans & told him. Yikes.

 

[runwaydream]

lol, you're MIL is NOT playin. she really wants her some grand babies by any.means.necessary.

don't let this woman ruin your marriage. deceit is not forgivable.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Huh? I always thought trapping was something SINGLE women did to get a man to propose. If you're married, how is having a baby trapping?

Your MIL is giving you BAD advice.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

If you have to trap your husband then the game is already lost.

I understand the itch for grandbabies, but your MIL is giving you terrible advice.

 

[Oneprettypa]

Ok thanks, I had to make sure I wasn't going crazy. My hubs and I are so on the same page as far as not rushing for a child and spending more time together traveling etc first.

Lol my MIL said "honey, you can't trap your husband! Get off the pill and start making babies!" This went on for 30 mins!!! I just needed to make sure I wasn't the one thinking crazy~

 

[Oneprettypa]

lol, you're MIL is NOT playin. she really wants her some grand babies by any.means.necessary.

don't let this woman ruin your marriage. deceit is not forgivable.

I agree with ALLLL of that. He would be hurt, mad, etc. I don't think I'd be able to look myself in the mirror afterwards. Not to mention I'm not ready to be a mom yet! The pressure is thick though~

 

[Mai Tai]

Get your MIL out of your bedroom and your uterus STAT or she will ruin your marriage...

No one should have that much power or say so over your body to where you feel pressured.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I've heard mama's say crazay things just to see some grandbabies.

I don't know what it is, but my mom has given me turrible advice regarding this issue as well. I guess after menopause there's this new magical clock of some sort and their job is now to keep the lineage going by.any.means.necessary.

Yes, it's bad advice!

 

[Oneprettypa]

.

And what if down the line your MIL spilled the beans & told him. Yikes.

^^^ a bad day for all parties involved. He'd be happy if we got pregnant, but if he found out there was deceitful intents he'd be livid!!

 

[Oneprettypa]

The answer is all kinds of obvious to me. I personally think bringing a child into the world should be a joint decision. It's one thing if it happens by accident - something else entirely if the creation of a child was a sneaky manipulative tactic. What a way to start off the blessing of parenthood!

@ MIL

Agreed!!!! Lol she tried to argue me down when I said I didn't think it was right!

 

[frizzy]

And what if down the line your MIL spilled the beans & told him. Yikes.

That would be the first thing she would do if you got preg and **** hit the fan with DH, to protect you.

I say it's time for a family discussion...maybe give her a little hope and tell her the timeline you and DH have set for having kids.

On the bright side, at least she loves you enough to want you to give her grandkids.

 

[Blyss_curls]

Get your MIL out of your bedroom and your uterus STAT or she will ruin your marriage...

No one should have that much power or say so over your body to where you feel pressured.

Girl, this is so true.
Dh and I were taking a marriage class, through church (the pre-marital course). Do you know the what the teacher/pastor, said one of the top five reasons why marriages face turmoil....and eventually end in divorce?

In-laws.

 

[Kindheart]

Girl, this is so true.
Dh and I were taking a marriage class, through church (the pre-marital course). Do you know the what the teacher/pastor, said one of the top five reasons why marriages face turmoil....and eventually end in divorce?

In-laws.

I belive it. The number one reason me anf DH argue is MIL ,she s pushy,needy , plays the victim all the time ,and he put HER first.

 

[Theresamonet]

I say it's time for a family discussion...maybe give her a little hope and tell her the timeline you and DH have set for having kids.

A family meeting? About the op's pregnancy timeline?

That's not a good idea. She does not need to tell her mil anything. She is not a part of the decision making, and should not be made to feel like she has any control over the situation. What if op and her husband change their minds or deviate from the plan they laid out to her? Will they have to call a follow up meeting to explain why they have gone off course? That is too much. MIL will get grandkids when she gets them.

 

[gabulldawg]

Girl, this is so true.
Dh and I were taking a marriage class, through church (the pre-marital course). Do you know the what the teacher/pastor, said one of the top five reasons why marriages face turmoil....and eventually end in divorce?

In-laws.

I can totally see it. It's crazy.

 

[frizzy]

A family meeting? About the op's pregnancy timeline?

That's not a good idea. She does not need to tell her mil anything. She is not a part of the decision making, and should not be made to feel like she has any control over the situation. What if op and her husband change their minds or deviate from the plan they laid out to her? Will they have to call a follow up meeting to explain why they have gone off course? That is too much. MIL will get grandkids when she gets them.

I think she and DH need to stop the MIL from her unhealthy suggestion to the wife. It doesn't seem like DH knows anything about his mother's wishes, so the "family meeting" is to let DH in on it and let him deal with his mother.

I don't see any hardship in them telling the MIL when or if they want to have kids.

I don't see the MIL wanting grand children as a negative thing or her trying to be controlling, other than this BS stunt she is trying to get this lady to do. MIL needs to be shut down, preferably by her son.