Transitioning is going Horribly!

[TokyoReina]

I called myself stretching my relaxer but for the last few weeks I've had the strong urge to transition instead to being natural. I'm currently 14 weeks post, and I've about had it. My new growth and the relaxed hair are having a war and we're all victims! I feel like I'm getting a lot of breakage. I've tried rollersetting, deep conditioning, cowashing, braidouts...it's just a HAM. Hair is all over the place. I was thinking of BKTing, but I've been looking at all the info and I'm still like erplexed.

At first I thought I would just trim away my relaxed hair slowly...I'm not going to have any relaxed hair left to trim if this keeps up. I've been searching around but I just don't know what to do at this point. I was thinking of relaxing again today and giving it another go when I was more armed and ready, but I cowashed last night and I can't even do that. Horrible.

 

[melissa-bee]

I straighten my hair once every two weeks. I airdry and flatiron. Heat helps. I'm 9 months post.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

I'm having the same problem. Hair just keeps coming off my head. I'm 12 weeks post, by the way maybe someone can help us.

 

[GeauXavi]

Hey ladies! Are you two opposed to weaves? I'm 14 weeks post (my longest stretch everrr) and I KNOW for sure that I would have relaxed 2 or 3 weeks ago had it not been for my current install. I'm planning to keep it in for another 3-4 weeks and go from there...hth!

 

[Divine Inspiration]

What products are you using? You mentioned deep conditioning, cowashing, etc, but are you using the same products? In my experience, very few people can use the same products at 1 week post as they can at 22 weeks post. Most heads start need to need more moisture throughout the week, more protein to stave off breakage and more slip to make detangling less of a battle.

I transitioned for 2 years and some change and went through 4 distinctly different regimens not including my current regimen for my natural hair. As my texlaxed hair grew out, the two textures needed different things to stay healthy at different stages.

I agree with the poster who mentioned heat - I would use a really good heat protectant and I wouldn't do it more often than once a month but it does help to keep the knotting and tangles down.

Do you have a transitioning style? I've noticed that a lot of people who struggle with transitioning do so because they're married to their relaxed/texlaxed style and after a certain point in the transition, it simply doesn't work any more. In addition to having different regimens, I had different styles for blending new growth, etc.

HTH

 

[beans4reezy]

It seems like you may be at that point where you need to minimize the amount of manipulation to your hair. Roller setting at this point sounds like it may be too much for you. Are you opposed to braids, wigs, or extensions? These are styles where you can wash and dc your hair with your hair protected in braids.

Also, check out the transitioning without BC thread. You can see what other ladies are doing to transition w/o cutting all the relaxed ends at once.

 

[hopeful]

I think a lot depends on your texture, level of patience, and how you want to look day to day. That being said, if you want to be natural, you have to develop more patience and you have to be more positive. Don't back yourself in a corner with: I hate short hair so I can't bc, I don't do wigs or a weaves, I hate braids, etc., etc. Not saying these are your thoughts OP. I'm encouraging you and all transitioners to ask themselves: how can I make this transition work? How can I get to the natural side? Instead of focussing on what doesn't work and what is frustrating. Being natural can be very satisfying but getting there can be hard for some of us. Don't get down on the process. Focus on the outcome and be determined to succeed.

 

[Sianna]

Maybe you could try Care Free Curl Gold as a daily moisturizer?

I'm fully natural and I use it. It makes my hair buttery soft and I am thinking that maybe it will help with the elasticity of your hair so that the two textures are able to get along a little better.

I didn't transition personally, but I have heard a few transitioners mention that their hair does well with this and similar products.

HTH!!

 

[hopeful]

^^^My daughter's hair loves the care free curl gold too. S-curl works better for my hair.

 

[washize]

why don't you hyst striaghten your roots?

 

[TokyoReina]

I'm not at all opposed to wigs and braids. I'm a little against weaves since I had my first one about a month ago and it set me back. I've changed my products slightly to try and help me detangle, but I guess I'm still trying to treat my hair as if it's relaxed all the way through. It's also nothing but hot right now 24/7. I tried flat-ironing it (didn't want to because I haven't used direct heat in months) and it didn't stay that way for very long.

I'll look into the care free gold and maybe some kind of braids if I can manage. I'm not enjoying the look I have going on right now.

 

[Sianna]

Hang in there! Transitioning is a difficult time for a lot of women so some set-backs are to be expected.

I really hope the CFCG works for you. Honestly, I saw a dramatic difference in the feel of my hair using that stuff!

Whatever you decide to do, please give us an update to let us know how you're doing!

 

[maghreblover]

Try braiding with extensions. That kept me going and I'm now 1 year and 3 months post.

 

[soon2bsl]

Try crochets! They are a great protective style...cute and you don't have to worry about fooling with your hair for a while.

 

[theoneandonly]

I am 21 weeks into transitioning now. I go to get my hair straightened every 2 weeks. Try putting Argan oil or some type of oil on your hair before you blow dry it for the shedding/tangling. It had helped me do 100% turnaround

 

[Moniquenuss]

Im currently 13 months post and I found that BKT every 3 months really helps. Im a 4a I think and its nooooo joke when wet! I found that cowashing with mane n tail or aussie moist really helps! Also the cantu leave in sealed with shea butter really helps with the whole moisture aspect. I mostly wear my hair in twist outs because they last a few days if im in a rush I'll wet bun. Well I hope this helps you out a bit!

Good luck!

 

[TokyoReina]

I went and got the care free curl gold and it really has made my hair feel much softer! I also bought some kind of ORS edge control. I flat ironed my hair earlier this week to try and make it easier to manage. I plan on getting some kind of braids next week, I've never had any.

 

[NIN4eva]

Braids were very successful for me. I look forward to getting them in the future. Maybe a long stretch.