Transitioning is damaging my hair

ZLUVSNEWZEE

ZLUVSNEWZEE

Well-Known Member
Hi there,

I don't remember when my last relaxer was but it had to be more than 6 months ago and the two textures are causing me grief. Whenever I comb my hair, wet with conditioner, dry and mosturized, etc it still comes out in the comb. I use the wide tooth comb and a denman brush. I deep condition with every wash and I still keep breaking my hair off. My new growth is always soft once I twist and bantu knot it but the combing and brushing is making me weary because any growth that I get I can see that I'm losing it. My hair is short and doing a 2nd or 3rd day on a bantu knot out hasnt been possible for me yet. To minimize my grief I put in braid extensions but its a viscious cycle of trying to manage my hair then getting frustrated and getting braids. I want to enjoy this transitioning journey. My questions are: Should I textlax my new growth to make it easier? Should I be doing something differently as far as mosturizing? I do use aphogee to try to combat breakage but I havent noticed any difference. Also it's almost impossible for me to use a moisturizer or leave in everyday because it causes extreme build up and my bantu knot outs end up looking horrible. What do you ladies suggest? Should I give up on trying to go natural or punk out and keep it braided up until its long enough for me to snip away the relaxed ends? Anyone had similar issues? I know there is a transitioning thread and I've read it but I haven't found the answers I"m looking for yet. Thanks in advance...I love this place.

Current regimen (when not in braids)
Wash and deep condish every Friday. Deep condish with heat cap for 1 hour or more.
Use hairveda whipped cream, garnier silk leave in, or coconut milk by palmers as leave in and then use evoo or other oil to seal. I use olive oil pudding to hold bantu knot out.
 
What are your shampoos and deep conditioners?
How often are you combing and brushing?
What is your hair type?
You may be manipulating your hair too much with the two textures or you may be experiencing issues with protein/moisture balance.
 
sounds to me like you may need to put some glycerin and coconut oil on your new growth at night to soften it up the day before washing.

this is what i do when i am 4-5 months post relaxer.

you have to be gentle with the two textures...you may even need to just finger comb to remove shed hair and call it a day. no more brushing and combing. that's what i have to do at about month 8. (i am a long term stretcher who is texlaxed. i stretch usually anywhere from 5 to 10 months at a time.)
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Hi there,

I don't remember when my last relaxer was but it had to be more than 6 months ago and the two textures are causing me grief. Whenever I comb my hair, wet with conditioner, dry and mosturized, etc it still comes out in the comb. I use the wide tooth comb and a denman brush. I deep condition with every wash and I still keep breaking my hair off. My new growth is always soft once I twist and bantu knot it but the combing and brushing is making me weary because any growth that I get I can see that I'm losing it. My hair is short and doing a 2nd or 3rd day on a bantu knot out hasnt been possible for me yet. To minimize my grief I put in braid extensions but its a viscious cycle of trying to manage my hair then getting frustrated and getting braids. I want to enjoy this transitioning journey. My questions are: Should I textlax my new growth to make it easier? Should I be doing something differently as far as mosturizing? I do use aphogee to try to combat breakage but I havent noticed any difference. Also it's almost impossible for me to use a moisturizer or leave in everyday because it causes extreme build up and my bantu knot outs end up looking horrible. What do you ladies suggest? Should I give up on trying to go natural or punk out and keep it braided up until its long enough for me to snip away the relaxed ends? Anyone had similar issues? I know there is a transitioning thread and I've read it but I haven't found the answers I"m looking for yet. Thanks in advance...I love this place.

Current regimen (when not in braids)
Wash and deep condish every Friday. Deep condish with heat cap for 1 hour or more.
Use hairveda whipped cream, garnier silk leave in, or coconut milk by palmers as leave in and then use evoo or other oil to seal. I use olive oil pudding to hold bantu knot out.
Click to expand...

Let's see if I can help you out:

The hair you are losing is your new growth, or is it your relaxed ends breaking off at the point of demarcation?

What are you using to wash your hair? Are you using shampoo? Is it sulfate free? Do you co-wash at all?

The tools you are using to detangle may also be a problem. The Denman took out too much of my hair. I had to abandon it. You may want to rely on a wide toothed comb & finger detangling. A seamless comb can be a big help. I use the Tangle Teezer but it's not friendly to everyone's hair so I won't suggest it for you.

What product do you use to detangle? Is it your deep conditioner or a regular conditioner? Maybe the product you use while detangling does not have enough slip for you to detangle easily.

I wouldn't recommend texlaxing if you are trying to transition to natural. You will end up with 3 textures: Relaxed (I am assuming you are relaxed straight), texlaxed, & natural. You don't want to give yourself more of a headache.
 
I have see with my own eyes accounts where people I know have tried to stretch or transition and it end up doing more harm than good.

Last year, I finally persuaded my mother to stretch her relaxers. I have never seen my her hair suffer so much in my life!
We both assumed that stretching would do more good than harm, however, my mother's hair started to break and even a year later her hair is weaker than it has ever been prior. (Mind you, this is the same woman who would bonelax her hair every 3-4weeks)

Whereas for myself, transitioning has been a lifesaver for my hair.

You mentioned a Denman. Personally, I always felt that this brush is especially ideal for natural hair, mainly due to the hair's durability. For me, using this brush on my 6 months post hair was a definite NO! My relaxed ends snapped and popped effortlessly. However, now that most of my hair is natural, it is so much stronger and way more durable to handle this brush.

Almost 2 years into my transition, I can honestly say it gets easier.
 
LOL. Well, you're half-right. Relaxing damaged the hair, and the point at which the relaxed hair meets the natural is weaker due to the curl structure. My best suggestion (15 months in) is to go on a hunt for a really good detangling conditioner. I won't pretend to say I've found a one size fits all. Creme of Nature with Argan oil is a good detangling shampoo (not as good as original, but oh well), not sure if they still make Porosity Control but it was also a good detangler. My personal fave is Aubrey Organics Jojoba and Aloe Conditioner. You are going to lose some hairs, it's just like that, but you can definitely help minimize! Good luck!
 
Thank you for helping me ladies.

So I usually use Garnier sleek and shine shampoo and I use Garnier for co-washing.
For deep condish I use either hairveda whipped condish or Cholestrol deep condish.
I only use whatever leave in I have to detangle. I will either detangle after I'm done sitting with heat cap while condish is still warm in my hair or after I rinse and apply leave in. I usually feel the need to detangle again after I dry my hair so there is always a lot of combing. I never even considered getting a detangler and I don't know why. I mostly find that I feel the need to comb my hair way to much. The only protective style other than braid extensions that I can deal with because of my length is my bantu knot out and I feel the need to comb it out every night, if I don't then my hair looks a mess. I love the idea of having naturally curly hair but I want length more than that. Should I look into getting a detangler or try to find an easier protective style? Is there a way to do bantu knot on short hair that I could avoid brushing and combing so much or even get 2nd and 3rd day hair?
 
one thing i would suggest....lose the shampoo. when i am stretching, i can not use shampoo. i use clarifying conditioner V-5 has a couple and so does Suave. they are cheap conditioners that clean the hair but don't strip it.

also, i would consider an oil rinse as your final rinse to soften the new growth and make detangling easier.

since you use hairveda, i would suggest the amla cream rinse for cleansing. it is also very gentle. no suds, but i swear your hair will be clean.

also hairveda strinillah deep condish is good. works best without heat, so this is my favorite when i am pressed for time.


as for the daily combing...that has to go. you are killing your hair with that. :nono: i would def suggest a protective style that allows you to avoid that daily manipulation.
 
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I am almost 1 year post and weaves and braids have helped me tremendously. When my hair is not in a weave, its back in a bun or ponytail. Weaves allow me to enjoy the "look" of having my own hair out because i use kinky straight hair that matches my natural texture and my weaves are the same length as my real hair. I cut off 2 inches every 3 months and the blunt ends halp me handle my own hair better as well.

I think hiding your hair is your best bet if you decide to move forward with your transition. HTH
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thank you for helping me ladies.

So I usually use Garnier sleek and shine shampoo and I use Garnier for co-washing.
For deep condish I use either hairveda whipped condish or Cholestrol deep condish.
I only use whatever leave in I have to detangle. I will either detangle after I'm done sitting with heat cap while condish is still warm in my hair or after I rinse and apply leave in. I usually feel the need to detangle again after I dry my hair so there is always a lot of combing. I never even considered getting a detangler and I don't know why. I mostly find that I feel the need to comb my hair way to much. The only protective style other than braid extensions that I can deal with because of my length is my bantu knot out and I feel the need to comb it out every night, if I don't then my hair looks a mess. I love the idea of having naturally curly hair but I want length more than that. Should I look into getting a detangler or try to find an easier protective style? Is there a way to do bantu knot on short hair that I could avoid brushing and combing so much or even get 2nd and 3rd day hair?
Click to expand...

I think you should use a separate product specifically to detangle your hair. After you DC, you can use a conditioner with good slip to detangle, rinse that out, then use your leave-in. Some conditioners that I have found to work pretty well are Suave Naturals, V05 (it only worked when I was transitioning), Hello Hydration, & Tresseme Naturals (one of the best). I had a hard time during my transition until I found good conditioners to detangle with. Some people also use some Aloe Vera Juice to aid in detangling.

Can you finger comb your hair at night for your bantu knot out? Maybe you could try a flat twist out or braid out?
 
I use a lite protein before my weekly deep condition to strengthen my strands.

I mostly finger detangle, because I wear two strand twists all week. I wash and DC in my twists, then I retwist one by one or row by row for reparting purposes.

On the rare occasion my hair is loose on wash day. I detangle first with a detangling spray and my wide tooth comb, then I put my hair in 4-6 loose braids before washing & DC.

Transitioning is now a breeze because I avoid dealing with the two textures while all my hair is loose.



sent from my HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum app
 
I had similar issues while transitioning for 18 mths. I was gentle with the two textures but I still was hurting my hair. I finally started to flatiron my hair which I new would possibly cause straight hair or heat damage as some may say. This helped out alot but I wanted my true texture not an altered one. I finally just cut off the relaxed hair. I suffered breakage in the crown of my head and i'm still nursing it back. I know it will take a while, therefor I wish I would have bced alot sooner. I was so stuck on lenghth and not what was healthy for my hair. I say bc, however the other ladies have given you good advise as well. Goodluck :)
 
I think your doing too much manipulation to your already fragile hair. I would suggest a full weave for the next year.
 
I tried to transition. It was a fail. I had abt three inches of new growth but I also had ssk's. I couldn't understand how I got ssk's on the natural roots but not on the relaxed length. And no amount of moisture or protein would keep my relaxed ends from jumping ship so I gave up and relaxed. I'm not saying you should relax. I'm still going to go natural, but not until my hair is longer and easier to put in a ponytail or bun without weave. Try to increase your moisture and oil your new growth every other day to keep everything loose up there.

Sorry for hijacking. I didn't mean it!


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
One of the reasons why I ended my transition was the fact that my relaxed hair kept breaking. I was trying to take care of both textures by doing protective styles and using the hot comb. I found out that my relaxed hair kept breaking of everytime I comb it wet or dry. I did everything I could do and still nothing happen. So I decided the just BC to prevent me causing damage to my natural hair.
 
I can relate to your frustration in dealing with the different textures, and know transitioning is not always easy. At one point, I had natural, texlaxed, and bonelaxed textures. I gradually begin to trim away the bonelaxed ends, and currently have mostly natural hair with texlaxed ends.

Some say you should treat all of your hair as if it were natural, and this seems to work for me. I humbly suggest that you try not to comb/manipulate your hair too much in it's dry state, especially with the denman, because it can really eat through your relaxed ends. I CW almost daily and rarely use shampoo. Some of the things helping me through my transition are:

Conditioners: Kenra Moisturizing conditioner, Tresemme with vitamin b12 and gelatin anti-breakage conditioner, and for protein, mane & tail conditioner. For leave-ins, I use Aphogee Pro-vitamin, or the one with keratin & green tea if I am going to heat-style.

tools: Goody ouchless shower comb, Conair Style and detangle comb, tangle teezer ( this works well for me, however it has mixed reviews on the board, so proceed with caution), and the denman on my natural hair to make a smooth pony or bun.

I use a moisturizing spritz daily before I detangle which is just diluted Hawaiian Silky 14 in 1 with a little lavender added. It helps to find a PS that will keep your fragile ends protected and allow you to not have to manipulate your hair too often. I hope this helps, and wish you luck whatever you decide to do.
 
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I remember what worked for me was keeping my hair drenched in herbal essences hello hydration conditioner with flaxseed gel on top, all the time (and rinsing my hair and reapplying once my hair was in need of water), wearing braidouts all the time, finger detangling, and some mayonnaise treatments here and there.

Today I would probably also seal with wheat germ oil and try ACV rinses and oil rinses, to correct the porosity of the relaxed part and for easier detangling and lubrication (there are many threads about both). I did avoid heat like the plague during my transition and it helped.
 
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ZLUVSNEWZEE One thing that i have noticed is that i didn't see you say anything about a protein treatment. Too much moisture is just as bad as going overboard w/ too much protein but if you don't have any protein at all, your hair will be very week and break off. Aphogee has a 2 minute reconstructing protein treatment that you can incorporate in your regimen on fridays.

If you want to learn a little more about protein, you can read these post by the natural haven. Her site is very good at breaking down the science of hair
http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/06/size-matters-protein-conditioning-part.html
http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/06/protein-conditioners-for-hair-part-2-of_03.html

So i wouldn't say it's the transition but how your going about the transition. If you need to braid your hair up for awhile, i suggest you do so. I did it for a whole year and just took my braids out every 3 months, babied my hair some and then put them right back in. Also, that denman brush may be a little too rough for your line of demarcation so i would back off it if i were you.

I hope this helps and i hope you keep us updated on your progress!
 
havilland said:
sounds to me like you may need to put some glycerin and coconut oil on your new growth at night to soften it up the day before washing.

this is what i do when i am 4-5 months post relaxer.

you have to be gentle with the two textures...you may even need to just finger comb to remove shed hair and call it a day. no more brushing and combing. that's what i have to do at about month 8. (i am a long term stretcher who is texlaxed. i stretch usually anywhere from 5 to 10 months at a time.)
Click to expand...

I agree with this 100%. However, transitioning can be damaging, if you are not careful. Transitioning can also be good for you, only because if you get into a setback (i.e. breakage), it will start to break off at the relax hair and hopefully you can find out what is causing the breakage before it hits the newgrowth
 
Thank you ladies for all the great info. I have exhaled just a little. I am in braid extensions now and plan to keep them in for a few months but after that I am going to def try clarifying condish in place of shampoo and more finger combing. I'm hoping my hair will grow enough so that I can snip away some more of my relaxed ends and since I've already bced once I don't want to do it again at this point. Now for more questions.


CICCINA: When you say you kept the HE condish in at all times do you mean you styled your hair with condish and flaxseed gel in it? Didn't your hair get hard when it dried?

ELUV: You wash and condish in twists? This sounds like something I should be doing but I find that with my length which is about neck length and my relaxed ends makes it hard for me to keep twists in while wet. Should I do several small twists to avoid this or try big braids, what would you suggest? Also when you rinse do you take down the twists/braids or do you leave them in for the entire process aside from detangling?

HAVILLAND: Is an oil rinse simply what is sounds like? Pour oil of choice over your hair then rinse it out or is there some special way to do it. Last time I did what I thought was an oil rinse with EVOO my hair was so greasy after that I couldn't stand it. Could I have done this wrong?


ALL LADIES: Again thank you so much for the time to give me so much useful info. My last question is, in your experiences do you find that gylcerin based mosturizers work well on transitioning hair or is that mostly for relaxed hair. I hear great things about hawaiian silky, s-curl, and whatnot but am unsure if it will work for my two different textures. What do you ladies think?
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thank you ladies for all the great info. I have exhaled just a little. I am in braid extensions now and plan to keep them in for a few months but after that I am going to def try clarifying condish in place of shampoo and more finger combing. I'm hoping my hair will grow enough so that I can snip away some more of my relaxed ends and since I've already bced once I don't want to do it again at this point. Now for more questions.


CICCINA: When you say you kept the HE condish in at all times do you mean you styled your hair with condish and flaxseed gel in it? Didn't your hair get hard when it dried?

ELUV: You wash and condish in twists? This sounds like something I should be doing but I find that with my length which is about neck length and my relaxed ends makes it hard for me to keep twists in while wet. Should I do several small twists to avoid this or try big braids, what would you suggest? Also when you rinse do you take down the twists/braids or do you leave them in for the entire process aside from detangling?

HAVILLAND: Is an oil rinse simply what is sounds like? Pour oil of choice over your hair then rinse it out or is there some special way to do it. Last time I did what I thought was an oil rinse with EVOO my hair was so greasy after that I couldn't stand it. Could I have done this wrong?


ALL LADIES: Again thank you so much for the time to give me so much useful info. My last question is, in your experiences do you find that gylcerin based mosturizers work well on transitioning hair or is that mostly for relaxed hair. I hear great things about hawaiian silky, s-curl, and whatnot but am unsure if it will work for my two different textures. What do you ladies think?
Click to expand...

yes. oil rinse is what you think....BUT DO NOT POUR OIL ALL OVER YOUR HEAD...(not yelling, just emphasizing the point) after you wash and condition, take a few DROPS of oil and rub it into your hair. i wouldn't use more than a tsp of oil total. i use less than a tsp. then rinse your hair with warm water. i follow with a cold rinse to seal my cuticle.
 
My hair started breaking off this past winter. Nothing I did made the shedding nor breakage stop.

Eventually, I had to give in to cutting it.

I cut it into an assymetrical bob in April. The breakage continued.

In May, I cut it shorter to resemble Meagan Goode's style and to get rid of the color, the breakage subsided....

Two weeks after that, I cut it into a cute short, spikey style...

Two weeks after that I BC'ed (I figured go hard or go home)...

Transitioning isn't for everybody, and your hair is letting you know it's not feeling it. The question is "are you going to give in to your hair needs?"


 
MsLizziA said:
@ZLUVSNEWZEE One thing that i have noticed is that i didn't see you say anything about a protein treatment. Too much moisture is just as bad as going overboard w/ too much protein but if you don't have any protein at all, your hair will be very week and break off. Aphogee has a 2 minute reconstructing protein treatment that you can incorporate in your regimen on fridays.

If you want to learn a little more about protein, you can read these post by the natural haven. Her site is very good at breaking down the science of hair
http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/06/size-matters-protein-conditioning-part.html
http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/06/protein-conditioners-for-hair-part-2-of_03.html

So i wouldn't say it's the transition but how your going about the transition. If you need to braid your hair up for awhile, i suggest you do so. I did it for a whole year and just took my braids out every 3 months, babied my hair some and then put them right back in. Also, that denman brush may be a little too rough for your line of demarcation so i would back off it if i were you.

I hope this helps and i hope you keep us updated on your progress!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the link. I do use the 2 minute aphogee but only every once in a while. I didn't know if it would be good to use it more often but I can def try that. How long did you keep your hair out of braids during the 3 month rests?
 
havilland said:
yes. oil rinse is what you think....BUT DO NOT POUR OIL ALL OVER YOUR HEAD...(not yelling, just emphasizing the point) after you wash and condition, take a few DROPS of oil and rub it into your hair. i wouldn't use more than a tsp of oil total. i use less than a tsp. then rinse your hair with warm water. i follow with a cold rinse to seal my cuticle.
Click to expand...


Oh wow...pouring oil over my head was exactly what I did. I had no idea to use only a small amount. Thanks.
 
*closer*2*my*dreams* said:
My hair started breaking off this past winter. Nothing I did made the shedding nor breakage stop.

Eventually, I had to give in to cutting it.

I cut it into an assymetrical bob in April. The breakage continued.

In May, I cut it shorter to resemble Meagan Goode's style and to get rid of the color, the breakage subsided....

Two weeks after that, I cut it into a cute short, spikey style...

Two weeks after that I BC'ed (I figured go hard or go home)...

Transitioning isn't for everybody, and your hair is letting you know it's not feeling it. The question is "are you going to give in to your hair needs?"
Click to expand...


You have a point as sometimes it just doesn't feel quite right the way my hair just breaks and breaks. But BCing again? I don't think I can do it. I may just touch up my new growth and see what happens. But first I will see how I do in these braid extensions.
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thanks for the link. I do use the 2 minute aphogee but only every once in a while. I didn't know if it would be good to use it more often but I can def try that. How long did you keep your hair out of braids during the 3 month rests?
Click to expand...

Pssh not even a full 24 hours. I'd take the braids out , wash , detangle, moisturize and blow dry and go get them put right back in the next day. It never stopped my progress and i never had any kind of adverse effects
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thank you ladies for all the great info. I have exhaled just a little. I am in braid extensions now and plan to keep them in for a few months but after that I am going to def try clarifying condish in place of shampoo and more finger combing. I'm hoping my hair will grow enough so that I can snip away some more of my relaxed ends and since I've already bced once I don't want to do it again at this point. Now for more questions.


CICCINA: When you say you kept the HE condish in at all times do you mean you styled your hair with condish and flaxseed gel in it? Didn't your hair get hard when it dried?

ELUV: You wash and condish in twists? This sounds like something I should be doing but I find that with my length which is about neck length and my relaxed ends makes it hard for me to keep twists in while wet. Should I do several small twists to avoid this or try big braids, what would you suggest? Also when you rinse do you take down the twists/braids or do you leave them in for the entire process aside from detangling?

HAVILLAND: Is an oil rinse simply what is sounds like? Pour oil of choice over your hair then rinse it out or is there some special way to do it. Last time I did what I thought was an oil rinse with EVOO my hair was so greasy after that I couldn't stand it. Could I have done this wrong?


ALL LADIES: Again thank you so much for the time to give me so much useful info. My last question is, in your experiences do you find that gylcerin based mosturizers work well on transitioning hair or is that mostly for relaxed hair. I hear great things about hawaiian silky, s-curl, and whatnot but am unsure if it will work for my two different textures. What do you ladies think?
Click to expand...


Usually I'm already wearing small two strand twists, so I keep my twists in throughout the whole DC process. Big braids will hold better than large twists.

Hawaiian silky works great in my daughter’s transitioning hair but it's too much moisture for my fine, very low density strands. So I use Aloe Vera Juice & glycerin spritz and seal w/coconut oil.
 
(sorry for the late answer, I didn't see your post!)
I didn't get hard hair from the conditioner + flax gel.
The conditioner was applied on gently towel dried hair ("conditioner only method", which consist in leaving in some conditioners that are marketed as rinse out conditioners, they are simply more moisturizing than leave ins and as long as they don't leave a white cast, they're great... tightlycurly.com has other suggestions for conditioners)

The homemade flax seed gel is not hard, it is a sort of hydrating film that makes your hair shiny, and since it is all natural it is non damaging (there are some threads here and you can also find some videos on youtube about it): when I was transitioning I especially found it great on dry hair for overnight braidouts or twistouts.

I don't know about about glycerin since I have always moisturized with conditioner, water, flax gel and oil.
 
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My Friend said:
I think your doing too much manipulation to your already fragile hair. I would suggest a full weave for the next year.
Click to expand...

ITA. I think you would benefit from low manipulation styles OP. It sounds like you're styling and manipulating too much if you're redoing every 2 to 3 days. That's murder on the line of demarcation. I don't even style my natural hair that much because it's too much manipulation for my fine strands. Many naturals only comb on wash day. I think you need to put your hair away in a PS or a low manipulation style and leave it that way at least for a week or two.
 
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