Transitioning becoming a struggle

[naturally-devine]

Alright ladies. I haven't had a relaxer since mid January. My plan was to transition for 2 years, however, my new growth is 5 inches and is mega thick. I know that I can't make it 2 years or another month for that matter. I exercise 5 days a week, so I have to wash my hair 2-3 times a week in order to put my hair in a ponytail. It takes forever to detangle so often in a week and all the manipulation is causing tension on my hair so breakage is a factor. I have to maintain my 3 daughters hair (all are natural), so it's really difficult for me to spend so much time on my hair. I am so seriously considering relaxing or texlaxing my hair. I really want to have it natural, but at the same time I am growing frustrated. I've tried hiding my hair, however, braids seem to break my hair off badly. I've had 2 sew-ins, but only kept each for a couple of weeks, because I can't stand not being able to feel my scalp. Twist-outs and braid-outs look horrible on my hair these days. I am not doing a BC because I don't feel comfortable with my hair short. Is it possible to texlax the new growth? If so, does anyone have any suggestions on how to proceed? Please help ladies.

 

[TemiLnd]

I have been transitioning almost as long as you and I also want to wait for 18months - 2 years. Fortunately braids work for me.

Why don't you try the lime and coconut relaxer and see if that helps. ive heard its messy though.

 

[naturally-devine]

I tried the lime and coconut 2 days ago and nothing happened. So I blow dried my hair and flatironed. Of course, today it is 78 degrees outside, so my hair is puffed up at the roots again.

 

[drjo91]

My last relaxer was on 1/19/2008 and i thought i was going to transition for a while. However, i just couldn't deal with the two texture's anymore. My natural hair was taking over the relaxed hair, and barely had any relaxed hair left. It started breaking off, it was a hasle for me to do rollersets or anything to my hair. So i decided to the BC 10/28/2008, it was the most liberating thing i have ever done. Why don't you try getting microbraids, or just get cornrows or KINKY TWIST. Kinky twist won't put as much tension on your scalp.

 

[tatiana]

If you texlax your new growth, you would have wavy roots and straight ends.

I understand you don't want short hair hence no BC but you do realize even if you go 2 years and then BC your hair may still look short due to shrinkage. There is no way to tell much your hair will shrink while transitioning.

As far as detangling, you may need to start pooing/condish/detangling in twists/braids/sections. You may be one of those people can't have their hair loose and wet at the same time.

Also, a condish with silk amino acids may help you a lot with detangling.

Also, have you thought about wigs?

 

[TemiLnd]

Humm. thats not good. i know what you mean about braidouts not looking so good. I agree with grjo91 try something that doesn't put tension on your hair. You could get cornrows or flat twists. Maybe some of the ladies who have transitioned for longer can help.

 

[naturally-devine]

I had kinky twists. For the first couple of weeks, my scalp felt like it was on fire and I had to take pain meds to help with that. My problem was when I took them out, I lost so much hair. I really want to retain my length. I'm scared of micros and how they may affect my edges. Also, the hair for micros are mad expensive now.

 

[BostonMaria]

Have you considered rollersetting and using a flatiron to smooth the edges down?
Congrats on making it this far! Don't give up now.

Maybe it would be more "realistic" to BC after a year, but I'm not sure how you feel about that. I couldn't stand the two textures myself. I only made it to 10 months because I couldn't take it anymore.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

If all things don't workout you can transition to Texlax, like someone said you will have wavy roots, But they also have a Transitioning Challenge with no BC going on, and it is alot of Women on here who Transitioned a long time, Hopefully they will come and chime in to help you out.

Good Luck to you! I am sure it is frustrating.

 

[naturally-devine]

If you texlax your new growth, you would have wavy roots and straight ends.

I understand you don't want short hair hence no BC but you do realize even if you go 2 years and then BC your hair may still look short due to shrinkage. There is no way to tell much your hair will shrink while transitioning.

As far as detangling, you may need to start pooing/condish/detangling in twists/braids/sections. You may be one of those people can't have their hair loose and wet at the same time.

Also, a condish with silk amino acids may help you a lot with detangling.

Also, have you thought about wigs?

Yea, I know shrinkage would be an issue but I figured braids and twists would stretch it out some giving me the comfort. Plus I figured I'd be able to bun it pretty easily by then. I really don't know what to do. I know if I texlax the roots will be wavy. I was thinking of texlaxing instead going fully natural. That way I would still have some curl but not as thick as it is now. Not sure if I would be able to manage or does it get easier once the perm is off?

 

[Clazz E 2]

I warm press my roots (yep a pressing comb) then I pin curl my hair during my work outs. PLUS I neva do a longgggg work out until the end of the week when I wash my hair! Nop I don't co wash everyday. As far as detangling, Leave in good conditioner and use a deman brush....works great ! So for me I sit under dryer, OR slick back and put a scarf on then sit under dryer, after that I warm press my roots and this last fa-dayz..... but everybody doesn't like the heat so???

 

[Carrie A]

I went through a frustrating phase at approx 8 months- terrible detangling and the like.
I had to start detangling in multiple sections under the showerhead with a very wide toothed comb with mucho conditioner. This phase lasted about a month. I don't know whether I just got used to the new regimen or the natural hair grew longer than the relaxed. I would just rinse with conditioner after a workout and decrease the shampoo washes. Now I just pull back my hair into a bun and only detanlgle 1 weekly. Braid outs are not going to look right because of the two textures. How much relaxed hair do you have. Why don't you cut a couple of inches off. You've been doing well and I believe this phase will pass. Limit your manipulation.

 

[naturally-devine]

If you texlax your new growth, you would have wavy roots and straight ends.

I understand you don't want short hair hence no BC but you do realize even if you go 2 years and then BC your hair may still look short due to shrinkage. There is no way to tell much your hair will shrink while transitioning.

As far as detangling, you may need to start pooing/condish/detangling in twists/braids/sections. You may be one of those people can't have their hair loose and wet at the same time.

Also, a condish with silk amino acids may help you a lot with detangling.

Also, have you thought about wigs?

Have you considered rollersetting and using a flatiron to smooth the edges down?
Congrats on making it this far! Don't give up now.

Maybe it would be more "realistic" to BC after a year, but I'm not sure how you feel about that. I couldn't stand the two textures myself. I only made it to 10 months because I couldn't take it anymore.

Thanks Maria. I tried rollersetting alone and with the saran wrap with flatironed roots. With my going to the gym everyday, it only lasts for a hot minute and I hate to put heat on it everyday.

 

[justsimply]

I would wait until you definitely know what your life stlye will accomodate as far as haircare. Personally, I would opt to either go natural or relax if in your shoes since bc'ing is not an option. "Texlaxing" is still going to leave you with 2 different textures to deal with and you will still have the whole roots are not straight when any kind of moisture/sweat hits it.

 

[twnz&1mo]

Try Mizani Thermasmooth, it works for me and I'm 31 weeks post. I don't have thick hair but it's worth the try. If you're trying to transitioning texlaxing is not the way, IMO.

 

[naturally-devine]

I went through a frustrating phase at approx 8 months- terrible detangling and the like.
I had to start detangling in multiple sections under the showerhead with a very wide toothed comb with mucho conditioner. This phase lasted about a month. I don't know whether I just got used to the new regimen or the natural hair grew longer than the relaxed. I would just rinse with conditioner after a workout and decrease the shampoo washes. Now I just pull back my hair into a bun and only detanlgle 1 weekly. Braid outs are not going to look right because of the two textures. How much relaxed hair do you have. Why don't you cut a couple of inches off. You've been doing well and I believe this phase will pass. Limit your manipulation.

Yea, I have hit this stump a couple of times. This time I think the thickness is really just getting to me. It may wear off again. I just hope it happens soon before I do something that I could possibly regret. I have about 14-15 inches of relaxed hair in the back and about 12 or so in the front. I cut about 3 inches about two months ago. I may do another inch to see if it helps. I only shampoo once every week and a half.

Tatiana-I went to the BSS I went through this phase in July. I just wasn't feeling the wigs or at least how I looked with the wig on.

 

[naturally-devine]

Try Mizani Thermasmooth, it works for me and I'm 31 weeks post. I don't have thick hair but it's worth the try. If you're trying to transitioning texlaxing is not the way, IMO.

Okay I just looked this up on there website and I am interested. Where do you purchase yours from? Do you use the whold line or one particular product that is giving you good results?

 

[jazzysweet]

I have been transitioning for over a year (9/07) and I know your pain. I either wear my hair in kinky twist or keep it silky straight. I love wearing the twist when Im on my workout hype and I make sure to rub my scalp with MT so that I can transition faster. I never liked kinky twist until I tried them on myself and I am in love with them.

This is kind of how I wear mine. It is a little different from the norm and it gives me hope to transition for another year at least. Good Luck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5M-liCovEg

 

[1QTPie]

Serious question. What's the fear of having short hair? It doesn't last very long (for the most part) and the wash n go would be a time saver like no other. Is it your hubby's aversion or yours or both?

I always vote for just chopping it off, so it makes me bias against the whole year long transition thing. I'm really just curious.

 

[jazzysweet]

Serious question. What's the fear of having short hair? It doesn't last very long (for the most part) and the wash n go would be a time saver like no other. Is it your hubby's aversion or yours or both?

I always vote for just chopping it off, so it makes me bias against the whole year long transition thing. I'm really just curious.

Some people don't look right with short hair and their hair may grow slow.

Your hair is beautiful though!

 

[naturally-devine]

Serious question. What's the fear of having short hair? It doesn't last very long (for the most part) and the wash n go would be a time saver like no other. Is it your hubby's aversion or yours or both?

I always vote for just chopping it off, so it makes me bias against the whole year long transition thing. I'm really just curious.

No, hubby has become very supportive here lately. He actually asked me why don't I cut off the perm. I just don't want to snip it all off and hate it. I've had my hair cut short a two times (after surgery when they had to shave and cut my hair from front to back and about an inch wide and the second time was when I asked for a trim and walked out with a bad haircut, so I had to have someone else cut it to give it a shape) and didn't like how it looked on me. I've seen some super cute short styles, but I just can't imagine how they'd look on me. I know it sounds crazy to some. I guess I've just had length for most of my life and I'm comfortable with length. When it was short I felt out of my comfort zone.

 

[justsimply]

Are you opposed to just relaxing it? I mean, it just may not be the time for you to go natural. Your relaxed hair looks healthy. Or is it that you just don't want to be relaxed any longer?

I just feel that hair is a personal thing and you do what ever makes you most comfortable. There is no right or wrong in it. I'm only natural because that's MY preference...soooo many people didn't want me to cut it or go natural. My son's paternal grandmother kept saying "you just want it to be nappy, baby?" with a seriously confused look on her face.

 

[Carrie A]

Looks like you've tried transitioning before and you really wan't to complete the process this time. It you texlax then you have bone straight relaxed, virgin texlax, then overtime possibly inconsistantly texlaxed new growth. I don't know about that. How's your mom doing with her transition. Maybe both of you could BC together. Or keep bunning and don't sweat the line of demarcation.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I tried the lime and coconut 2 days ago and nothing happened. So I blow dried my hair and flatironed. Of course, today it is 78 degrees outside, so my hair is puffed up at the roots again.

I am actually at the year mark of transitioning and it was HARD AS HECK! But once i learned my hair needs moisture it became easier. I like to wear straight and curly styles(flexirod or rollerset). The only product that allows me to do this with easy is Sabino Moisture Block. My hair is so straight until someone asked if I had relaxed! I recently cut my mid back hair to shoulder and it's much easier to manage.

 

[BrooklynBeauty]

No, hubby has become very supportive here lately. He actually asked me why don't I cut off the perm. I just don't want to snip it all off and hate it. I've had my hair cut short a two times (after surgery when they had to shave and cut my hair from front to back and about an inch wide and the second time was when I asked for a trim and walked out with a bad haircut, so I had to have someone else cut it to give it a shape) and didn't like how it looked on me. I've seen some super cute short styles, but I just can't imagine how they'd look on me. I know it sounds crazy to some. I guess I've just had length for most of my life and I'm comfortable with length. When it was short I felt out of my comfort zone.

You can always get a wig in a cute short style to see how it would look on you before you decide to bc

 

[1QTPie]

Thank you Jazzy for the answer and the compliment!

naturally-devine, I understand. Your two experiences with short hair though were negative, you were going to hate it regardless. I hope whatever you decide works for you. If you are anxious to no longer relax, you're just delaying the inevitable.

You're pretty, you can carry any style, braid it up, slap a wig on it an call it a day.

 

[Creatividual]

Hey girlie. I'm 6 months post relaxer and my styling options are pretty limited so I just started rocking half-wigs. I had micros for a month and they raped my hair line so that's when I turned to the half wigs. Best decision I ever made. My hair looks nice everyday yet I still can wash, condition and moisturize my hair n stuff like regular. Give it a try! It's calmed my urge to BC right away.

 

[naturally-devine]

Thanks everyone for responding. I have been wearing scarves for the best 2 days to give myself a break from seeing my hair. I am going to try to hold off a little longer. I really want to complete this journey, it's just so darn hard with all this new growth. I am going to see if I can find some half wigs today. Wish me luck

 

[tatiana]

Yea, I know shrinkage would be an issue but I figured braids and twists would stretch it out some giving me the comfort. Plus I figured I'd be able to bun it pretty easily by then. I really don't know what to do. I know if I texlax the roots will be wavy. I was thinking of texlaxing instead going fully natural. That way I would still have some curl but not as thick as it is now. Not sure if I would be able to manage or does it get easier once the perm is off?

Does it get easier? Yes and no; I would say you will still have problems but the problems are different. Braids and twists shrink also.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

If you texlax, you will still have to detangle your hair. Transitioning was a struggle until I figured out how to flat twist. Now it is a pain because the 2 textures can not blend at all. When I cut my hair, it was in a bob cut and shaved in the back. My nape is all natural while the top and sides are strait. I've come to terms with this soon to be natural journey that noone else will determine how pretty I am, but ME. If they don't like my TWA, that is their problem. I'm sure you will be OK, no matter what you choose. We will support you the best we can.