Transistioning and self-image

[dicapr]

Ladies who did a long transition, how did it affect your self image? What I mean is did you feel jealous of women whose hair was done and yours didn't act right every day? I look in the mirror and the two textures are now apparent. I don't use heat very often because I'm afraid of damaging my new hair. I'm not giving up-just wish I was done already. But no BC for me until this time next year.

 

[gharp001]

Thanks for putting into words what I'm feeling, too. I just don't seem to be happy with my hair on any one day...I need some consistency some days I feel that my hair look good...other days But, I'm not giving up...and will probably do the BC sometime around this time next year. I'm thinking about flat twists or braids at this point to protect my hair during the transistioning and to not have to deal with it for a minute.

 

[glamazon386]

Yeah, I felt like that for a while. I was so used to always having my hair done it was hard for me to be walking around looking a HAM. I'd see girls with done hairstyles and I'd be like I WANT A REAL HAIRSTYLE TOO!! But the only way to get a real 'do was to go to the hairdresser and she would make me relax so I just kept up the weaves and wigs...

 

[donewit-it]

Ladies, keep the faith and your eyes on the prize. I did the BC on Aug 6th of this year. Although I do not regret it, I've realized that either way I was going to be dealing with my issue of self-image. Either I would be saying what you are now, or I would be saying what I am now. (What do I do with my HAIR?) Depending on your skills and $$$, do the best you can with your hair and envision your goal, (the look you want). Bare with me, I'm new but I did want to share this with you. You could either be bald like me(1 in) and struggling or have two textures on your head (you) and struggle. Hold on

 

[MsBttrfly23]

I am starting to really like this transitioning process. I hated it at first and although I alternate between braids and my bun, it is frustrating when you feel there is absolutely nothing you can do with your hair. When I am doing a bun E V E R Y single day and my frizz and new growth are doing their own thing, that is when I get really frustrated...trying to look polished and put together and my hair is like ...I try to go without braids for at least 2 to 3 months to let my hair rest, do treatments, deep conditioning, mositurizing, etc. I find that I am more at ease when I have my braids in during this transitioning period. I can honestly say I can't wait to be 100% natural, but I am embracing the journey and thinking about the final goal overall...I refuse to turn back! Keep going ladies...we are not alone in this! All of the ladies whose albums give us inspiration had to start somewhere too! We can DO this!

 

[Mestiza]

I'm doing a loooooong transition and it hasn't affected my self image. In fact, I've asked myself why didn't I start my transition to natural, sooner. I love the look and feel of my new growth.

If you get discouraged, then, re-visit the reasons why you started your transition. BTW, I don't think that anyone's hair behaves, perfectly, everyday.

 

[Cheleigh]

The last two months of my transition I looked a H.A.M. I saw a picture of my hair a month before my BC and I looked like Alien vs. Predator, with that big *ssed hump where the natural hair was. I rarely go out, but went out a lot with my girlfriend those months, and dreded getting dressed, because I knew I'd be looking busted about the head (I used no heat during my transition).

So, while my self-image wasn't tarnished, I did know that my bun was not looking cute at the end. I was so glad to BC at the end of that one year transition.

 

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

I've been transitioning for a good while now, my self image hasnt been affected in any way. Having your hair "done" doesnt necessarily mean it has to be straight, pressed or weaved up. Some days my hair cooperates with me some days it doesnt, but thats a given no matter if your hair is relaxed, texturized or natural. I wear my hair in a variety of protective/low maintenance styles 90% of the time. I think variety is key, wearing your hair in different styles will help prevent bordem and frustration while transitioning, at least for me it does.

 

[melodee]

The last two months of my transition I looked a H.A.M. I saw a picture of my hair a month before my BC and I looked like Alien vs. Predator, with that big *ssed hump where the natural hair was. I rarely go out, but went out a lot with my girlfriend those months, and dreded getting dressed, because I knew I'd be looking busted about the head (I used no heat during my transition).

So, while my self-image wasn't tarnished, I did know that my bun was not looking cute at the end. I was so glad to BC at the end of that one year transition.

OMG, Cheleigh, you are my hair twin! I loooove your siggy pic with the cute, defined coils. My hair is coily like that, in effect a coily/culry combo, with looser curls in the back. I feel like a HAM now as I am almost 11 months into my transition. When my hair is wet, I have lovely curls--but my problem is:

1.The curly/nappy part needs moisture to stay on point. When it's dry it gets frizzy and hard looking...BUT
2. The relaxed ends need to stay dry to keep a set curl (I use rods or twist set it). Wet relaxed hair turns into a mushy mess and doesn't match the natural naps.

It is hard to keep the naps wet and the ends dry. Right now I am setting my hair and doing a ponytail with a cloth headband to hold back the coily part. I try to pat down the natural stuff with water/ creme, trying hard not to get the ends wet. but it's not easy to thoroughly wet the roots without wetting the ends.
I've done a mini chop, but I'm feeling conflicted about chopping it all.

 

[melodee]

To answer the Original?,

I sometimes feel self concious because my hair used to be looking fly most of the time before the transition, and it is now twice as hard to style. I love the coily/curly fro look, but can't fully sport it, with soggy wet relaxed ribbons hanging down, yet I'm not yet wanting to chop em off.
(Although looking at Cheleigh's curly springs has encouraged me to keep up the struggle and look into cutting.)

To others I look entirely different. Most of my white associates are used to seeing the straight look, and this is throwing them off. Also most know my sister, who has type 3 looking hair, so they automatically assumed that my "curly" hair would look like hers. Well, we look similar, but we are not clones. And while I've always had an appearance of a sistah, the fro just really erases any doubt. But I don't live to meet other's expectations of me, so I am not feeling bad about my texture, just the fact that, well let's face it " TRANSITIONIN', LIKE PIMPIN"', AIN'T EASY".

 

[JewelleNY]

I love transitioning because I like watching my natural hair texture growing in but I am limited to certain hairstyles at this point. What works for one texture doesn't always work for the other. I don't want to do any big chops because I have a big head so I will be transitioning for quite some time.

I also do want to see my hair straight because it has grown so much but you can't really see the exact length because of the new growth.

 

[dicapr]

I've resigned myself to a bun and an occational braid-outs for awhile. I decided to buy some new make-up and start wearing it almost daily. I'll go for the sophisticated pulled together bun look. Maybe that will help.

 

[KiSseS03]

I was feeling very frustrated with my hair the week of my BC, I felt that it was taking away from my cuteness. By the end of that week I became fed-up and went home from work and cut my hair off!

I wasn't totally mentally prepared for going to a TWA from APL hair, so there were also self-image problems after the BC, but within about a month or so I realized that I was still cute!

 

[caligirl]

I got a lot of compliments during my transition by wearing braidouts 24/7. Everyone thought my hair was fully natural. I don't think anyone knew I was transitioning. My hair was only a nightmare when I tried to get it straight.