Too much -- I'm SCARED of my own hair :(

[Charla]

I knew nothing of a Healthy Hair Journey until 10 months ago. And ever since then, I've been taking in tons of YT videos, hair board archives on different forums, and have Googled mega info on taking care of black hair. And now all of a sudden, it's not "just hair."

Before the beginning of HHJ, I was an eternal SL relaxed lady who never used heat protectants (didn't even know what they were!), never wore a satin bonnet to bed, could care less if my hair got caught under my purse strap, and on and on.

But now, after my many, many months of researching, I started slowly developing a FEAR of my hair. WHAT?! I mean I am deathly scared (well, not deathly!) of harming it! I'm paranoid of breakage, setbacks, heat damage, rubber bands, satin bonnets that aren't satiny enough, small tooth combs, bobby pins with no tips, metal hair accessories, brushes --- everything!

I don't even let my children and DH touch my hair with out jumping back -- what is wrong with me?!

I saw a girl with a cute natural puff and I went on YT to see how to do it, and I saw them BRUSHING their hair, OMG! (joke!) I saw them PULLING it back with their hands! I saw them wrapping long hair ties around their strands! And instead of admiring and process and realizing that these ladies STILL HAVE HAIR, I was just feeling myself petrified looking at them!

This has got to end! Ladies, when will it end? How can I recover from this? When will I stop being deathly afraid of my own darn hair?????!!!!!

 

[NappyNelle]

You're new to the ourney, so you're taking every precaution necessary. I think it's part of the "HAIR" process. We go through stages of care and we come to the realization that it is just hair, but we choose to treat it well so it can flourish. There is nothing wrong with your trepidation; I think we all have been there and have learned to balance the fear with respect for what our individual heads can and cannot do to be as healthy as possible. That respect only comes from identifying what we've done wrong, correcting the behavior, and changing our routine so it is second nature, and therefore, just hair.

I hope that makes sense!

 

[GraceV]

Take a deep breath... now let it out. It's hair, it's dead, and unless you end up with some disorder it will continue to grow out of your head. You've learned a lot in the past months, and you are here on LHCF so your hair is in good hands. If anything should go wrong and you end up with a setback, you have the resources to get back on track.

Now let's put your hair in perspective: in the grand scheme of things your hair is quite insignificant; think national debt and it's effect on your future income, social security, budget cuts, world hunger, genocides, political uprisings, the US wars in the Middle East, I could go on but I'm sure you catch my drift.

You're alive and well, you have a family, and income to take care of them (and your hair). You have LHCF's resources and you have us, your hair sisters.

Now can you see why hanging on to this fear is a waste of energy?

 

[ShaG]

Honey child i feel you 100%. In the beginning of my journey i felt the exact same way, heck, some days i still feel alittle overly paranoid. Even though all of these things that you have mentioned can be somewhat damaging to our hair, you have to remember that if they were so bad, nobody on the planet would have any hair. Everything that we do or use could possibly cause some amount of hair damage, so you just have to pick your poison and use care and be cautious about how you style, and care for your hair. God bless and good luck on your journey.

 

[mEmYSELFaNDj]

Um...you are not alone, I'm right there with you. I was watching a youtube video of a lady straightening her hair and she did soooo many passes on one section that I could hardly contain myself, like it was hurting me or something. IDK what this is called but we definitely have a problem.

 

[Evolving78]

you sound like me. i have nothing of value to add, but just to let you know you are not alone.

 

[whiteoleander91]

this is exactly why I don't want to get too caught up in PSing! I don't want the fear of wearing my hair down (the horror!) to ruin the fun of it. It's just not that deep to me. Of course I will take care of my hair, but agonizing over each strand? Not for me.


You're hair is beautiful, OP, and looks very healthy. Don't stress! It's obvious that you are taking good care of it! I'm sure your anxiety over your hair will lessen over time

 

[Charla]

Thank you ladies! You have no idea how much this is helping. And I'm glad to know I'm not alone in feeling like this -- and even happier to know that this too shall pass. I was actually feeling a little panicked! And nothing (outside of my loved ones well-being) rattles me like that!

You're new to the ourney, so you're taking every precaution necessary. I think it's part of the "HAIR" process. We go through stages of care and we come to the realization that it is just hair, but we choose to treat it well so it can flourish. There is nothing wrong with your trepidation; I think we all have been there and have learned to balance the fear with respect for what our individual heads can and cannot do to be as healthy as possible. That respect only comes from identifying what we've done wrong, correcting the behavior, and changing our routine so it is second nature, and therefore, just hair.

I hope that makes sense!

NappyNelle -- thank you! It makes perfect sense! I guess I haven't reached the "just hair" level yet! But you're so right about the balance needing to be there between fear and respect.

Take a deep breath... now let it out. It's hair, it's dead, and unless you end up with some disorder it will continue to grow out of your head. You've learned a lot in the past months, and you are here on LHCF so your hair is in good hands. If anything should go wrong and you end up with a setback, you have the resources to get back on track.

Now let's put your hair in perspective: in the grand scheme of things your hair is quite insignificant; think national debt and it's effect on your future income, social security, budget cuts, world hunger, genocides, political uprisings, the US wars in the Middle East, I could go on but I'm sure you catch my drift.

You're alive and well, you have a family, and income to take care of them (and your hair). You have LHCF's resources and you have us, your hair sisters.

Now can you see why hanging on to this fear is a waste of energy?

GraceV
I literally heaved a breath of relief as I was reading your post! This fear is definitely wasted in the grand scheme of things! The wisdom and knowledge of LHCF ladies is beyond words. So true that if something does happen, it's not the end of the world or my hair! Thank you!

 

[Avaya]

Uhm, I don't see anything wrong with what you've written. Sounds normal to me. .

 

[Charla]

Uhm, I don't see anything wrong with what you've written. Sounds normal to me. .

See! You're gonna give me mental setback!!

 

[belldandy]

i was like that too...it will pass as you become more and more satisfied with your length... i stopped being like that at bsl...but i still treat it like lace though. i just freak out less if it gets caught on something or if my bonnet comes off.

 

[BostonMaria]

Listen OP its ok. Its one of those things where you have been "enlightened" and are now aware of how to take care of your hair.

I was about to say it goes away with time, but I woke up at 3:00am and panicked because I forgot to protect my hair. I got up and searched the bathroom for my trusty stocking cap LOL because there's no way I'm going to bed and leaving my hair out LOL

 

[Bublin]

Um...you are not alone, I'm right there with you. I was watching a youtube video of a lady straightening her hair and she did soooo many passes on one section that I could hardly contain myself, like it was hurting me or something. IDK what this is called but we definitely have a problem.

Its called Paranoia!!!

I've decided to enjoy my hair - ie wear braidouts alot more instead of wearing styles that don't flatter me.
I have cut out all heat and no longer use combs so i think that is a pretty good compromise.

 

[Charla]

Well, I did it, and I still have hair!!!
I actually used my brush (fine bristles of course), got the flower from my vase, and used bobby pins...I'm on the road to recovery! Lol!

 

[kupenda]

Well, I did it, and I still have hair!!!
I actually used my brush (fine bristles of course), got the flower from my vase, and used bobby pins...I'm on the road to recovery! Lol!

There you go OP! You're doing great! Don't worry too much. It's hair and I believe you have a long, healthy, full life ahead of you. Plenty of time to BC and grow your hair to your ankles multiple times


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Charla]

There you go OP! You're doing great! Don't worry too much. It's hair and I believe you have a long, healthy, full life ahead of you. Plenty of time to BC and grow your hair to your ankles multiple times


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

kupenda
Love it what you say here! Thank you!!

 

[prospurr4]

I totally understand, OP.

When I first found hair boards, I was so overwhelmed with all the information/tips/products/techniques to grow longer, healthy hair, AND I was afraid to do "too much" to my hair. (However, in my case, I needed to be "scared straight" because I was IGNORANTLY frying my hair [with both heat and chemicals] right off my head.)

Over time, I calmed down. I've found a simple regimen that works, and I no long "jump" if my hair brushes my shoulder or someone touches it.

It's gonna be okay, OP. (((HUGS)))

 

[curlyninjagirl]

After a year and a half on this HHJ I still flinch if someone touches my hair, I'm still afraid of flat irons, and I still feel like hair elastics are choking my hair strands to "death". LOL

But other than that, I'm good. A couple times this year I actually slept with my hair uncovered....thanks to my satin pillow. And I even went outside without covering my hair........once. See, OP? It gets better! LOL

 

[Charla]

Thanks, Ladies! I'm so glad ya'll feel my pain and assure me it'll get better. I'm PS to the max to retain and reach my goals, but I think if I'm going to completely get over this, I HAVE to do more out styles -- maybe at least once a week. Thank you all!