nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
wedding, were you mom's (if applicable) involved? (planning ideas, help you pick out a dress) etc.
to the married ladies, while planning your
- Thread starter nychaelasymone
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She did everything with me, as far as going to dry on dresses, etc. She offered advice and input but I didn't always accept it.nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
oh okay. Cool. Not to go into detail from my last post....life simply is.....
but my mom gets upset if you don't take her advice and feels they (mom and dad) s/b involved w/ planning my wedding. I don't want to include them because it stresses me out and I have enough of that dealing w/ life everyday.
but my mom gets upset if you don't take her advice and feels they (mom and dad) s/b involved w/ planning my wedding. I don't want to include them because it stresses me out and I have enough of that dealing w/ life everyday.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Are they paying for the wedding? If so, then yes, their opinions should hold some serious weight.
If they aren't - this is the first step in you establishing yourself as their adult daughter, and not merely their child.
Put those boundaries up, girl, and do what you want in a way that presents the least stress to you.
If they aren't - this is the first step in you establishing yourself as their adult daughter, and not merely their child.
Put those boundaries up, girl, and do what you want in a way that presents the least stress to you. nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
Are they paying for the wedding? If so, then yes, their opinions should hold some serious weight.
If they aren't - this is the first step in you establishing yourself as their adult daughter, and not merely their child.
They offered to pay for the hall (I'm probably going to pay for it) but I don't think I should be forced to take all their advice simply because they offered to pay for it. I'm/we're paying for this shin-dig.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
I think it comes down to courtesy, really. Their money is good enough for you, but their advice isn't?
erplexed Not saying this is what you are saying/doing, at all, but I've seen that attitude before - and it's kinda, ugly, in my mind. And there is such a fine line between 'some' of their advice and 'all' of their advice - esp. when it comes to an event as emotional as a wedding.
Personally, I'd suggest paying for it all, as that creates a clear boundary, and if they would like to gift you with something (my mom gifted us with our cake, for example) - that's okay, and perhaps they should have a healthy bit of say in the gift.
nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
I think it comes down to courtesy, really. Their money is good enough for you, but their advice isn't?
And there is such a fine line between 'some' of their advice and 'all' of their advice - esp. when it comes to an event as emotional as a wedding.
Personally, I'd suggest paying for it all, as that creates a clear boundary, and if they would like to gift you with something (my mom gifted us with our cake, for example) - that's okay, and perhaps they should have a healthy bit of say in the gift.
You're absolutely right and my way of creating a clear boundry is doing it myself. I appreciate their advice but I reserve the right to decline things that I don't agree with. Weddings are so 'personal' and although I agree if parents are going to pay they should have some say but it's a sketchy line.
Coolata
New Member
No, they were not involved. I was 33yrs old and he was 41 yrs old. It was the first for both of us. I assumed everyone was cool with me planning. Until the very end, I found out that my soon to be mother in law was pissed because I did not include her in the planning. She said I was marrying her oldest son I should have given her the respecterplexed. I didn't realize how important it was for her.
erplexed. I didn't realize how important it was for her.nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
No, they were not involved. I was 33yrs old and he was 41 yrs old. It was the first for both of us. I assumed everyone was cool with me planning. Until the very end, I found out that my soon to be mother in law was pissed because I did not include her in the planning. She said I was marrying her oldest son I should have given her the respect
You couldn't read her mind. She should've said something. That's not your fault.....I swear I can't stand when grown folk do that.
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
My mom was not involved in our wedding.My mil helped with alot of things even though me and my dh paid for everything.She went with me to almost everything my dh didn't do.Dress fitting,etc.
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