Tips on How to Get Him out of My System?

[Cincysweetie]

Good evening ladies!

I am wondering if any of you have any words of wisdoms, suggestions, or tips on how to get a former flame out my system...or do things just have to run their course? On the one hand I have moved on to someone else that really does make me happy and is good to me, but on the other hand I seem to have this place...this weakness...for an ex-flame that really wasn't worth my time. I know I'm not the only one who has been through this before, so any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Wow. I have some residue left over, as I have just went through the same thing. There is no majic pill or potion. Sorry, but it does have to run it's course. I had come to realize that it was all about me and started putting ME first. Yes, it hurts like hell, I know, but like a "stomach virus" it has to run its course, then you'll feel better. The way I dealt with it was, I kept harping on what put my heart in the hurt in the first place. And chile, let me tell you....my heart was in crutches!!!

Didn't feel so good and promised myself that I wouldn't let him hurt me again. I deleted his number from my cell, and erased him from my mind because I refuse to let a brotha who is not worthy of my time live RENT FREE in my heart and in my mind. Our heart is the way to our soul, and we as women, the emotional creatures that we are, give our heart away to the wrong person who is not worthy. Why want someone who doesn't want you and who is not worthy. Get YOURSELF back. A lot of times, we lose ourselves in these sorry a$$ men and get so wrapped up into them, that forget who we are. Then we sit back when the stuff hits the fan and ask ourselves, how did I let my self go like that.

When I say get yourself back, do the things that made you happy before you met him. And please, don't start letting yourself go, etc. Continue doing what you were doing and learn from it.

Hold your head up and keep it moving. They do it all the time.....

 

[Kawaii1]

Not to sound crazy or psycho but sometimes I imagine them dying or killing them them . I really just cut ex's out of my life completely. I don't have time to keep hurting myself over someone who doesn't care about me as much as I care about them. It's gotta run it's course but you can help it along. Stay busy be positive and I swear imagining whacking your ex over the head with a pot helps.

 

[Cincysweetie]

^^^LOL!!!!!!!! Hmmmm...what are your ex's doing these days? Please tell me they are still breathing...lol.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Wow. I have some residue left over, as I have just went through the same thing. There is no majic pill or potion. Sorry, but it does have to run it's course. I had come to realize that it was all about me and started putting ME first. Yes, it hurts like hell, I know, but like a "stomach virus" it has to run its course, then you'll feel better. The way I dealt with it was, I kept harping on what put my heart in the hurt in the first place. And chile, let me tell you....my heart was in crutches!!!

Didn't feel so good and promised myself that I wouldn't let him hurt me again. I deleted his number from my cell, and erased him from my mind because I refuse to let a brotha who is not worthy of my time live RENT FREE in my heart and in my mind. Our heart is the way to our soul, and we as women, the emotional creatures that we are, give our heart away to the wrong person who is not worthy. Why want someone who doesn't want you and who is not worthy. Get YOURSELF back. A lot of times, we lose ourselves in these sorry a$$ men and get so wrapped up into them, that forget who we are. Then we sit back when the stuff hits the fan and ask ourselves, how did I let my self go like that.

When I say get yourself back, do the things that made you happy before you met him. And please, don't start letting yourself go, etc. Continue doing what you were doing and learn from it.

Hold your head up and keep it moving. They do it all the time.....

So true, especially to the bolded!!!

Thanks for those words of wisdom. I know that there is no magic pill (I'd have probably OD'd by now, lol) but words and encouragement are the next best thing!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

You're welcome sista. Any time!

 

[AstroQueen77]

if your really traumatized, try emotional cord cutting. worked for me! pm me for referrals

 

[SoUKnoMe]

Not to sound crazy or psycho but sometimes I imagine them dying or killing them them . I really just cut ex's out of my life completely. I don't have time to keep hurting myself over someone who doesn't care about me as much as I care about them. It's gotta run it's course but you can help it along. Stay busy be positive and I swear imagining whacking your ex over the head with a pot helps.

This is good. Ok day one... HIM DEAD.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I've been told the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one. I tried it once it seemed to work. Seriously though I think time is the best tool to get over someone.

 

[Honey]

Think about all they reasons why he is your ex and what your life would be like if you had not broken up.

~Honey

 

[ElizaBlue]

I've been told the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one. I tried it once it seemed to work. Seriously though I think time is the best tool to get over someone.

Ditto that. Hair of the dog that bit you...works every time.

 

[MizzBrown]

This is good. Ok day one... HIM DEAD.

LOLOL I can't lie. I want my ex dead as well. I've told him before and he thought i was harsh. Now he knows that I mean it....

I REALLY want him dead and can't wait to check the local papers to see his obituary. That's how much hate i am harboring right now...This too shall pass though..

 

[Candy_C]

this sounds so good samaritan

but the best way?

FORGIVE THEM

dont forget what they did, compare them to that lovely man in your life now and how he treats u so well

but forgive them, they wasnt ready for you. their standards arent as high as yours and wont reach that level

PITY him,


remember that other man treated u like crap when you ARE A QUEEN

you are descended from QUEENS and you still have that lineage

see it as a co-worker degrading you..how quickly you would sort it out??

dont give this jerk free rental space in your mind

some simple NLP exercises will help you get rid of him forever

if your interested let me know xx

 

[bermudabeauty]

LOLOL I can't lie. I want my ex dead as well. I've told him before and he thought i was harsh. Now he knows that I mean it....

I REALLY want him dead and can't wait to check the local papers to see his obituary. That's how much hate i am harboring right now...This too shall pass though..

Oh yes I remember your story girl. People are still talking on your thread. Poor baby!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Oh yes I remember your story girl. People are still talking on your thread. Poor baby!

Wow...if you don't mind, what is the thread....

 

[MizzBrown]

Wow...if you don't mind, what is the thread....

Nahh, you don't need to read that! Too much Young & The Restless for ya! LOL

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Nahh, you don't need to read that! Too much Young & The Restless for ya! LOL

Ok MizzBrown, I totally respect that. I was just sitting here thinking...wow, she's waiting to see his name in da obits...wow....as Aretha Franklin said in her song..."./'./'./'Still waters run deep./'./'./'".... I can kinda somewhat relate...I use to feel that way about my ex, only thing, I wasn't waiting for his name to appear in da obits... I was at Woody's Funeral Home trying to make his arrangments in advance and orderin invites... but, as time went on, it was just too much weight for me to carry and I prayed on it...and learned to forgive. You know how they say pay back is a b___ch and what goes around come around? Well trust, I have seem him hit rock bottom.....believe me on that one! They ALWAYS reep what they sew....

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Not the greatest advice but you have to try to find something about him to despise, which will have you thinking about him less, and in time he will become a distant memory.

 

[Maynard]

Good evening ladies!

I am wondering if any of you have any words of wisdoms, suggestions, or tips on how to get a former flame out my system...or do things just have to run their course? On the one hand I have moved on to someone else that really does make me happy and is good to me, but on the other hand I seem to have this place...this weakness...for an ex-flame that really wasn't worth my time. I know I'm not the only one who has been through this before, so any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated.

Lil OT:

Everytime I see this thread, I think about this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqeQ_PfKMAo

 

[Maynard]

Good evening ladies!

I am wondering if any of you have any words of wisdoms, suggestions, or tips on how to get a former flame out my system...or do things just have to run their course? On the one hand I have moved on to someone else that really does make me happy and is good to me, but on the other hand I seem to have this place...this weakness...for an ex-flame that really wasn't worth my time. I know I'm not the only one who has been through this before, so any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated.

The only thing that worked for me was moving out of town..

Yes, drastic, but I needed to totally remove myself from the unhealthy situation that I was in. It worked. I'm not suggesting that everyone do this, but I am just saying what worked for me...HTH

 

[LadyCee]

emotional cord cutting?

NLP exercises?

share

 

[Cincysweetie]

^^ Right! I wanna know more...

Gin...Cincy needs you! Lemme ship his triflin *** somewhere so you can come home!!!

I used to always say the quote...the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one...and in some ways I think it's true! I am the happiest I've been in a long time with the guy that I'm involved with now, but...

I must admit that I just came from seeing this ex I was writing about...BAD CINCY!!!! Ugh...I am hopeless...seriously! And now I feel guilty! I don't know why I just did that...why I struggle to get past this guy who is no good for me!!!!!! When I have someone amazing in my life...that I truly care for. Ugh.....

 

[Candy_C]

^^ Right! I wanna know more...

Gin...Cincy needs you! Lemme ship his triflin *** somewhere so you can come home!!!

I used to always say the quote...the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one...and in some ways I think it's true! I am the happiest I've been in a long time with the guy that I'm involved with now, but...

I must admit that I just came from seeing this ex I was writing about...BAD CINCY!!!! Ugh...I am hopeless...seriously! And now I feel guilty! I don't know why I just did that...why I struggle to get past this guy who is no good for me!!!!!! When I have someone amazing in my life...that I truly care for. Ugh.....

its true!

but i had to ween off my ex

before i truley liked my new man

NLP is amazing, its a psychology...you can actually re-programme ur mind. You know a pshcologist usualy uses these exercises to help people get over situations that botheres them today from their past - also to help people get over phobias

the bst one i did was when:

-imagine a situation from the relationship you had that really bothered you emotionally, that made you weak, powerless and low
-bring it to the front of your mind, remeber the words, have the volume up real loud
-now imagine this is on TV - and you are watching this
(bear with me this isnt hard)
-now as you watch the situation unfold, make the volume of the words lower, and lower and lower (if you wanna be creative, use your minds eye and use the remote!) *men do this naturally when you moan LOL
-until the volume is muted
-notice how the vision doesnt seem so bad when its muted, and on tv - like it ISNT REALLY happening to you
-now as you watch this TV, and the situation draws to a close, REWIND it....
(this is very powerful) rewind it back to the beginning, pause it, forward it...PLAY with it - you are in control of this situation because only you control how you percieve it
-finally. as the situation plays again (muted) make it shrink, and shrink and shrink until its so small (the vision on the screen) that it doesnt mean anything - it bores you - its basically c*ap it doesnt hold you attention anymore
-no immediately i want you to think of something that makes you very happy - it could be a child singing a song, your favourite song, a moment from your youth having fun - you need to associate pain with good memories so that when you experience pain u dont want to experience, you can emotionally detach from that situation!
-some people respond to this very quickly, and when they try to imagine this stressful situation they can only imagine it on rewind!! (ME!)

I went thru a blow (to me) when i saw my ex with tthis beautiful latino girl all kitted out in a revealing white dress
nobody else thought she was stunning except for me and i had unresolved feelings for this dude - and i looked not so good! everytime i try to remember this, after that exercise, i cant really imagine it as its always on fast rewind!!! i also imagine a better scenario too, me looking hot, walkin in with a rich blinged out dude, and theres my ex lookin all small and weedy lol - i feel pity for him when i see him now - that i am somehow superior...he worships the ground i walk on now, but i'm not interested. He calls me saying how much he loves me, i tell him i have to go now i'm ordering a sandwich! i dont wanna hear dat crap!!!

_____

theres over 50 exercises to do, and believe me the simple ones take 5 mins and you can erase 5 months of hell from you ex - EMOTIONALLY of corse.

http://www.amazon.com/NLP-New-Techn...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215068953&sr=8-1

thats the book i've read, and read periodically throughout my days

try em!

 

[MD_Lady]

Good evening ladies!

I am wondering if any of you have any words of wisdoms, suggestions, or tips on how to get a former flame out my system...or do things just have to run their course? On the one hand I have moved on to someone else that really does make me happy and is good to me, but on the other hand I seem to have this place...this weakness...for an ex-flame that really wasn't worth my time. I know I'm not the only one who has been through this before, so any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated.

Looking back on a relationship, it's easy to let the good outweigh the bad. I know it's hard to think rationally about something as emotional as your feelings about a relationship, but make sure you never forget why your ex became an ex.

 

[firecracker]

All I can say is keep living and time will assist you in forgetting him eventually. Oh and date like crazy

 

[Cincysweetie]

Candy C, it sounds complicated, but I'm gonna try it!!! Thanks for sharing!

MD_Lady...I always try to remind myself of why he became an ex...sometimes it works (when I'm being rational), sometimes it doesn't (when I'm having a rough moment).

Firecracker...I like that advice...date like crazy!!!! LOL!

 

[alwayzalady22]

All I can say is keep living and time will assist you in forgetting him eventually. Oh and date like crazy

ITA. and force yourself to go out and have fun doing what you love to do.

i never thought that i'd get over my most recent ex, but i keep myself so occupied all the time that i never call/text him anymore. best believe he still calls/texts me though!

 

[MD_Lady]

Candy C, it sounds complicated, but I'm gonna try it!!! Thanks for sharing!

MD_Lady...I always try to remind myself of why he became an ex...sometimes it works (when I'm being rational), sometimes it doesn't (when I'm having a rough moment).

Firecracker...I like that advice...date like crazy!!!! LOL!

And that's perfectly okay, just don't be too hard on yourself during those "rough moments". At the end of the day, it just might take a little time, that's all.

 

[biancaelyse]

Write down a list of all your ex's negative qualities. Be specific!!!

Post it in a prominent location so it's in your face

Read it out loud to yourself. Often!!

If you can't read it yourself, call me and I'll read it to you

Change his name in your phone to @sshole and attach an ugly picture

 

[misskris816]

Not to sound crazy or psycho but sometimes I imagine them dying or killing them them . I really just cut ex's out of my life completely. I don't have time to keep hurting myself over someone who doesn't care about me as much as I care about them. It's gotta run it's course but you can help it along. Stay busy be positive and I swear imagining whacking your ex over the head with a pot helps.

I needed a laugh tonight; thank you!