What works for me is after washing, treat with wildgrowth oil and a leave in conditioner, and make sure that my hair is combed back very smooth into a bun, and then tied down with a silk scarf, undisturbed, until just about completely dry. Then I get wave formation without the frizzies. Also, I use a few drops of "thick" vitamin-e oil smoothed right along the hairline as well. (I like Jason Naturals 45000 IU). Because its sort of sticky, you get shine and a bit of light hold. For my ends, I spritz them with water, and then rub shea butter into them. I try to do this everynight (if I'm not wearing my hair down).
HTH