Re: tiny knots at end of strand? (update)
I just wanted to bump because I've gotten this issue under control. I still have occasional tiny knots but no where near how it was when I first posted this. Here's what I've done differently that has helped.
1.) Regular dusting (micro-trims). My ends stay much smoother and less prone to knots. I know some people can go months w/o a trim, but I need a micro trim at least every several weeks. I use either the split-ender, or I use scissors to just barely trim the hair that is in the crown, front and sides. These are the areas that I had the issues with the knots because its the top layer and more exposed (also lighter in color).
2.) Neutral hennalucent treatments. I have experimented with the color hennalucent, but I think for strengthening and conditioning this is much better. I have done two neutral treatments since august and I'm going to do another soon. The reason this has helped me is because it slightly thickens my strands (I have fine hair) and makes them less likely to stretch and curl around each other when I'm detangling.
3.) Making sure ends are always smooth and always moisturized. This is probably sounds like an obvious one, but I think my air drying method was a culprit to the knots. Even if I had oiled my ends, they were not always smooth and I think this caused knots too. I try to make sure that no matter how my hair is drying (roller sets, bun(s), loose) that my ends are well coated and smoothed as possible. Additionally whenever my hair feels dry I either rinse it or spritz with water and use something to oil the ends. Also, Lee's vaseline method has been really helpful this winter, when a lot of my summer methods weren't cutting it. I make sure I avoid product build up on them.
I think with the hair ends its not the schedule that you moisturize them, but that you make sure that they are always protected. This changes with the weather, the products you are using, etc. So sometimes you need to treat them everyday, and sometimes you can go a few days but its a matter of recognizing that they are dry and actively doing something about it.
I hope this helps someone else!