Til Debt Do Us Part - finances the biggest reason for divorce

[naturalmanenyc]

I'm sure that everyone has heard this, that finances are the biggest reason couples divorce, but it did not sink in for me until I watched a few episodes this weekend of "Til Debt Do Us Part". It's a Canadian program where couples receive debt counseling and have debt challenges with the opportunity to win $5,000 at the end of the show.

So many couples are spending THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS MORE PER MONTH than they bring in.erplexed I cannot even believe that so many people are financing their life on credit.

If you have not seen the show, a few clips are on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pQJxGIFzdo

 

[sillygirl82]

I watch this show. There was one husband on of the episodes who was so selfish and blind. I think she actually told the wife to divorce him.

 

[yardyspice]

The financial squabbles are a symptom of the problem IMO. If you are the sort of couple who turn on each other instead of to each other when there is a problem then "money" will lead your divorce. My husband and I were lucky enough to learn how to turn to each other in times of stress otherwise our marriage would have failed after we lost our business.

I know someone who is a shopoholic and she and her husband argue over how much she spends but the real issue is that he is disconnected from her and she uses things to fill a void. The financial issue seems to be the problem but going back to my premise, it is not.

 

[thatscuteright]

Its like food and people who eat food to fill a void or sooth an ache.
Its never about the food but a deeper issue.

 

[dlewis]

I believe it. Most my girlfriends fight with their SO about money

Me and Dh agreed when we moved in together that we would never agrue about money and to this day we never have.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

The way we spend is a reflection of our values. When a couple have conflicting values there WILL be conflict, no two ways about it.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I saw an episode where the wife was a freelance worker earning $70K (site selection for commercials) and the husband was a "part-time" electrician earning $35K. Her checks are very irregular and they go for weeks with no income on her end. He was on the couch for a majority of the taping although they had 2 kids to support.

She married him right out of his mother's garage and was with him for 12 years. They did not win the entire $5K since he really did not feel the need to work 5 days a week or to get a second job to support his family.

Definitely a case of conflicting values.

I watch this show. There was one husband on of the episodes who was so selfish and blind. I think she actually told the wife to divorce him.

 

[Mortons]

I watch this show every Saturday an I love it. A lot of these couples are doing one another a disservice by not checking one another on issues.

There was one where a contractor from Mexico had married his American wife and had a baby. He was trying to floss in order to send pictures of his nice car and nice house back home to show everyone how great he3 was doing.
When they were listing their priorities, they had to choose between marble floors (on a house they were getting rid of anyway), and taking his son to Mexico to meet his family for the first time. He chose the marble

I don't know how some folk do it

 

[Enyo]

I like this show a lot. My mom and I often watch it after Suze comes on. The fact that the theme song only has one word is a source of many jokes.

Anyway, I'm glad this show is on. I remember back when I was Muslim how people pressured me to "court" men with no money and no solid way to support me or a family. Then they'd balk when I said it was a problem for me. I wish more of them would buy TV's and watch this show. Money DOES matter. Not jut having it, but your ability to manage it.

 

[mscocoface]

This is the stuff that just baffles me when it comes to people saying they want to get married or live together. This topic is almost never discussed. Before you start picking out the wedding colors and the venue you need to know how each handles money.

Love is a key part in being in a relationship, but you have to know if your values are at the very least similar or you are going to be in for a roller coaster ride like crazy.

When I have friends that tell me they are getting serious with someone this is one of the first questions I will ask them. How does this person handle money? Do they know how you handle money.

If they tell me they are engaged I get even more indepth. How can you share a bed together but have never seen each others credit report, check books, and that goes for other things also.

At the end of the day it is how you two handle the hard times or make the difficult choices as a couple that are going to get you both through.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

And to think some people still think it's rude to discuss money. I cannot even fathom how some couples live together and know nothing of the others finances.

This show was an eye opener for me.

 

[kismettt]

I watch this show every Saturday an I love it. A lot of these couples are doing one another a disservice by not checking one another on issues.

There was one where a contractor from Mexico had married his American wife and had a baby. He was trying to floss in order to send pictures of his nice car and nice house back home to show everyone how great he3 was doing.
When they were listing their priorities, they had to choose between marble floors (on a house they were getting rid of anyway), and taking his son to Mexico to meet his family for the first time. He chose the marble

I don't know how some folk do it

woahhhh what??? that doensn't make sense

 

[Weezy Jefferson]

They were overspending by $5,000 a month?

 

[Mortons]

woahhhh what??? that doensn't make sense

You know, the way he managed his finances said a lot about him as a man and what he did or did not know about living in a county unlike his own. He thought that if he just wanted to work, he could make as much money as he wanted, and he could have all the nice things he wanted to show off to his family back home. He never realized that it wasn't the way it worked in Canada or anywhere else as a contractor.

 

[runwaydream]

woahhhh what??? that doensn't make sense

i woulda chose the marble too

 

[lushcoils]

23 with all of those credit cards and $25, 000 consumer debt? Wow. Smh.

I like putting cash in bottles idea for different things. I might have to try that.

I really want to watch this show, but I'm in the US. Is there a way I can watch this show?

 

[fattyfatfat]

that ish isnt cute at all. did they say how much she made?

23 with all of those credit cards and $25, 000 consumer debt? Wow.

 

[Mortons]

23 with all of those credit cards and $25, 000 consumer debt? Wow. Smh.

I like putting cash in bottles idea for different things. I might have to try that.

I really want to watch this show, but I'm in the US. Is there a way I can watch this show?

This show airs in the US, channel CNBC.

 

[Cxshortie]

I set the DVR to catch this show. Oprah is a rerun today, but she is talking to families in debt. This woman spends 7000 a year on her hair and even forged her husbands signature to buy a vehicle.

 

[runwaydream]

^^^ yea i just finished watching. it was really interesting and made me think of this thread.

 

[pisceschica]

You know, the way he managed his finances said a lot about him as a man and what he did or did not know about living in a county unlike his own. He thought that if he just wanted to work, he could make as much money as he wanted, and he could have all the nice things he wanted to show off to his family back home. He never realized that it wasn't the way it worked in Canada or anywhere else as a contractor.

I think the guy you were talking about was like a laborer. I remember he talked about how if he really wanted he could string together a whole bunch of painting jobs if he wanted to. He was not able to meet one of his income goals the host set out.

If I remember correctly the wife in that same episode brought up to her husband that they should start saving up for their infant son's edcation but he said it wasn't a priority. He had his new customized Chrysler 300 and all his big boy toys including the plasmas.