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New Member
I thought I'd share...
Kid's In Church
Real comments made by children
> > Jesus' Dad's Name
> > A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus'
mother's name?"
> > One child answered, "Mary."
> > The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name
was?"
> > A little kid said, "Verge."
> > Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
> > The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about
Verge n' Mary.''
***************************************************************************
> > Kids In Church
> > 3-year-old, Reese:
> > "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
> > Amen."
***************************************************************************
Little Boy Praying
> > A little boy was overheard praying:
> > "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about
it.
> > I'm having a real good time like I am."
*******************************************************************************************
The Last Commandment
> > A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
> > They were ready to discuss the last one.
> > The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what i t was.
> > Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
> > "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
********************************************************************************************
A Christian Home
> > After the christening of his baby brother in church,
> > Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
> > His father asked him three times what was wrong.
> > Finally, the boy replied,
> > "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
> > Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
*****************************************************************************
Deliver Us From Evil
> > I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the
Lord's Prayer
> > for several evenings at bedtime,
> > she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
> > Finally, she decided to go solo.
> > I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
> > each word right up to the end of the prayer:
> > "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
> > "but deliver us some E-mail.
********************************************************************************************
Forgive Us Our Traspasses
> > One particular four-year-old prayed,
> > "And forgive us our trash baskets
> > as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
*********************************************************************************************
Quiet In Church
> > A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on
the way
> > to church service,
> > "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> > One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
********************************************************************************
The 2 Ushers
> > Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were
sitting together in church.
> > Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough.
> > "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> > "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> > Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> > "See those two men standing by the door?
> > They're hushers."
***********************************************************************************************
Moral Lesson
> > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and
Ryan 3.
> > The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
> > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> > 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
> > Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus!"
************************************************************************************
Died And Went To Heaven
> > A father was at the beach with his children
> > when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
> > grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
> > where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> > "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
> > The boy thought a moment and then said,
> > "Did God throw him back down?"
*****************************************************************************
Dinner Blessing
> > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she
turned to
> > their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say
the blessing?"
> > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> > "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
> > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
> > invite all these people to dinner?"
Kid's In Church
Real comments made by children
> > Jesus' Dad's Name
> > A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus'
mother's name?"
> > One child answered, "Mary."
> > The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name
was?"
> > A little kid said, "Verge."
> > Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
> > The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about
Verge n' Mary.''
***************************************************************************
> > Kids In Church
> > 3-year-old, Reese:
> > "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
> > Amen."
***************************************************************************
Little Boy Praying
> > A little boy was overheard praying:
> > "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about
it.
> > I'm having a real good time like I am."
*******************************************************************************************
The Last Commandment
> > A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
> > They were ready to discuss the last one.
> > The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what i t was.
> > Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
> > "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
********************************************************************************************
A Christian Home
> > After the christening of his baby brother in church,
> > Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
> > His father asked him three times what was wrong.
> > Finally, the boy replied,
> > "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
> > Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
*****************************************************************************
Deliver Us From Evil
> > I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the
Lord's Prayer
> > for several evenings at bedtime,
> > she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
> > Finally, she decided to go solo.
> > I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
> > each word right up to the end of the prayer:
> > "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
> > "but deliver us some E-mail.
********************************************************************************************
Forgive Us Our Traspasses
> > One particular four-year-old prayed,
> > "And forgive us our trash baskets
> > as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
*********************************************************************************************
Quiet In Church
> > A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on
the way
> > to church service,
> > "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> > One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
********************************************************************************
The 2 Ushers
> > Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were
sitting together in church.
> > Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his
big sister had had enough.
> > "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> > "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> > Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> > "See those two men standing by the door?
> > They're hushers."
***********************************************************************************************
Moral Lesson
> > A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and
Ryan 3.
> > The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
> > Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> > 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
> > Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus!"
************************************************************************************
Died And Went To Heaven
> > A father was at the beach with his children
> > when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
> > grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
> > where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> > "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> > "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
> > The boy thought a moment and then said,
> > "Did God throw him back down?"
*****************************************************************************
Dinner Blessing
> > A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she
turned to
> > their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say
the blessing?"
> > "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> > "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
> > The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
> > invite all these people to dinner?"
