The importance of hair

[PopLife]

What I am gathering from this thread is that the importance of hair = the importance of other people's opinion/attention spent on you, particularly men.

^^^Pretty much...

 

[HanaKuroi]

I think that hair is the reason why Black Men date outside their race more than any other group of men. There, I said it. I also think that ALL Black men, regardless of background, place long hair above everything else: education, profession, face, background, personality, style, everything ... except maybe weight. (?) I don't think that a woman with long hair is going to pull a quality guy if she is obese but if a woman's face is jacked and she has a normal BMI, and, e.g. waist-length hair, it doesn't matter where/what she's from or what she does, she is at least getting in the door. (Also, have to take texture into account -- the straighter the texture, the shorter it can be - ala Halle Berry. But even if it is bone/Caucasian straight, if it is thin, sparse and dull looking, forget about it.)

I used to be kind of mad at it but the more you think about it the more you realize that a woman's hair signals "health, fertility, ability to handle stress, keep your life in order" etc.

I think it depends on what part of the country you live in.

I think it depends on the mothers and fathers and how they raised their sons.

I also think it depends on the woman's own opinion of her self worth. If you know your worth from a young age the men that aren't worth a crap won't even try to approach you. It's all about how you carry yourself and who you allow to be around you.

I think it boils down to self esteem, not settling and not trying to date ignorant men.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[JaneBond007]

My natural hair did nothing for me, i never wore it out much but the few times i did NEVER stopped traffic. On the other hand my Relaxed hair gets me stares from all walks of life and YES @syncerelyhis.....side glances from women. I appreciate my Natural hair and i like it but i my Relaxed hair more; it enhances my facial features and gives me a more refined look by 100%.

You mean it makes you looked mixed or you look classy? I'm confused. As for importance of hair, you never personally know how much import it has until you have to cut it all off lol. I could throw in a bun all day long, without care...but the time I tried to be cute and ****** it up, that's when it became VERY important to just plain have it on my head.

 

[naturallygoldie]

I was tickled pink when an older wm complimented me (with my hair pulled up in a curly pony tail on top of my head) in front of my co workers.

I also get stopped with my curls in a banana clip

I get the side glances from females (I think my waves make em seasick lol)

Same exact thing when I straighten *kanye shrug*

It's all about your confidence and how beautiful you are on the inside. If not, bald headed ugly woman would never marry..and they do.

So let your style of beauty shine

(Exits thread to go hunt down ups man with my LUSH order grr)

 

[BranwenRosewood]

I was tickled pink when an older wm complimented me (with my hair pulled up in a curly pony tail on top of my head) in front of my co workers.

I also get stopped with my curls in a banana clip

I get the side glances from females (I think my waves make em seasick lol)

Same exact thing when I straighten *kanye shrug*

It's all about your confidence and how beautiful you are on the inside. If not, bald headed ugly woman would never marry..and they do.

So let your style of beauty shine

(Exits thread to go hunt down ups man with my LUSH order grr)

@ the bolded

 

[caribeandiva]

What I am gathering from this thread is that the importance of hair = the importance of other people's opinion/attention spent on you, particularly men.

It's too bad that's what you gathered from this entire thread. That's not what I intended in my original post. To each their own.

 

[CodeRed]

It's too bad that's what you gathered from this entire thread. That's not what I intended in my original post. To each their own.

Honestly, I didn't even remember your initial post. My comment was about the majority of the responses in this thread. I don't know what your intentions were.

 

[rawsilk]

OMG -- you said a mouthful there. I had a bad post-weave/color experience and had to buzz cut the back a few years ago. I have a new appreciation for my hair.

You mean it makes you looked mixed or you look classy? I'm confused. As for importance of hair, you never personally know how much import it has until you have to cut it all off lol. I could throw in a bun all day long, without care...but the time I tried to be cute and ****** it up, that's when it became VERY important to just plain have it on my head.

 

[rawsilk]

Yup, like or not, that is the way that nature works -- we attract men, men try to impress us, we select the man we want. Anything else is just conjecture, justification, delusion.

^^^Pretty much...

 

[rawsilk]

I just don't think it's that complicated. Someone above said that long hair is what separates men from women on a primal level so can we be mad if that is THE signal that piques their interest? You can be brilliant, Godly, self-confident and all that, but if your "hur" is jacked, you are not going to get as much initial attention from as many men (not just the ig'nant ones) that you otherwise would. If you are on this board, you (not you personally) have to have realized it on a some level. It reminds me of the Sex in the City episode when one of them learns the underlying lesson from "He's Just Not That Into You" - if a guy doesn't call, he doesn't like you; period, end of story. Similarly, face it, you may not eventually love all of them but you WILL get more initial attention from a wider array of men if you have waist length hair than if it's short or average length. Are there exceptions? Sure. Look at Amber Rose and Nia Long (sans weave). But dang, what a standard in terms of how fit and how pretty your face has to be to pull it off. The bar is so (so) much lower when you have your own long natural or relaxed hair.

I think it depends on what part of the country you live in.

I think it depends on the mothers and fathers and how they raised their sons.

I also think it depends on the woman's own opinion of her self worth. If you know your worth from a young age the men that aren't worth a crap won't even try to approach you. It's all about how you carry yourself and who you allow to be around you.

I think it boils down to self esteem, not settling and not trying to date ignorant men.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[koolkittychick]

While hair is important, there are a few things that factor into a woman's overall attractiveness to other people, and based on my experience, they fall more or less in this order, with the following "trump" factors included:

1. Thin/shapely body trumps fat/obese body
2. Thick, healthy, real scalp hair trumps fake hair of any kind
3. Shiny, looser hair textures (or the appearance thereof) trump kinkier, duller textures
4. Hair length in any texture trumps shorter lengths
5. Pretty face trumps "unfortunate features"
6. Neat, groomed appearance trumps slovenly, disheveled style

These are just the bottom-line, instinct-based basics, in my opinion. The myriad of combinations the above factors can produce in individuals will produce various levels of attention, depending on the combination.



For instance, a woman that weighs 300 pounds will get very little attention, but she might get more from certain people if she has WL 3b curls and a very pretty face. Likewise, a woman with shrunken 4b hair might not be noticed right away, but if she has a slamming body and keeps her BSL hair in a well-moisturized (NOT greasy, hard or untouchable!) twist-out, she will definitely see more attention than the fluffier 3b sister.



Many other factors are involved (personality, class and status, light versus dark skin, to name just a fiew), but I feel they are so affected by region, class, individual upbringing and other factors that it would be much harder to offer generalizations about them, let alone prioritize them according how attractive they make you to others.


Suffice to say that our conscious and subconscious need to select the seemingly healthiest and most fertile humans for our potential mates overrides most other details about a person, and for better or worse, hair is one of the quickest, most visual indicators of those conditions in humans. Therefore, hair is rather important in your attractiveness quotient.

 

[Ogoma]

I don't think there can be any facts in this discussions. It all opinions based on each individual's personal experiences.

 

[DoDo]

I don't think there can be any facts in this discussions. It all opinions based on each individual's personal experiences.

Thank you. My thoughts exactly!

 

[MzSwift]

What I am gathering from this thread is that the importance of hair = the importance of other people's opinion/attention spent on you, particularly men.

That was the basis of the article in the OP and, by default, the thread... at least that's what I gathered.

 

[caribeandiva]

Honestly, I didn't even remember your initial post. My comment was about the majority of the responses in this thread. I don't know what your intentions were.

Oh ok. Makes sense.

 

[rawsilk]

caribeandiva I like thought-provoking threads like this (as you can see ) -- hair is more important to AA women than anyone realizes (except maybe the Asian BSSs and hair product companies). There's so (so) much history - for each of us personally and as a group in general. Thanks for the opportunity to vent, opine, share, etc. Great idea to post.

 

[caribeandiva]

caribeandiva I like thought-provoking threads like this (as you can see ) -- hair is more important to AA women than anyone realizes (except maybe the Asian BSSs and hair product companies). There's so (so) much history - for each of us personally and as a group in general. Thanks for the opportunity to vent, opine, share, etc. Great idea to post.

Anytime . I agree with the bolded. Hair is a sensitive topic with black women in general. Throw in dating and societal pressures and you basically have this thread.

I remember as a kid in Haiti, my neighbor (an adult) said to me: "God made the other races with 2 very loving hands but he made us with the tip of his toe." She said that because we were talking about how come other races have long hair and most blacks don't. It made me sad to think that God didn't love us enough to give us long hair. Now I know how wrong that whole mentality is. It's not true at all. It still left a deep impression on me.

 

[rawsilk]

Wow, talk about evidence of PTSD (post traumatic slave disorder)! LOL You have to laugh to keep from crying when you think of what we all have endured in the way of attacks on our appearance - and, in the words of Maya Angelo "still (we) rise." (I am convinced that Black women routinely learned to comb their daughters' hair from root to tip instead of the kinder/more time consuming end to root method because (a) they had too much else to do and (b) they were trying to make their daughters less attractive to trolling and predatory eyes. I've gotta find time to write about that some day.) Anyway, your quote above explains why every Haitian woman I know takes SERIOUS care of her hair!

Anytime . I agree with the bolded. Hair is a sensitive topic with black women in general. Throw in dating and societal pressures and you basically have this thread.

I remember as a kid in Haiti, my neighbor (an adult) said to me: "God made the other races with 2 very loving hands but he made us with the tip of his toe." She said that because we were talking about how come other races have long hair and most blacks don't. It made me sad to think that God didn't love us enough to give us long hair. Now I know how wrong that whole mentality is. It's not true at all. It still left a deep impression on me.

 

[ckisland]

I plan to finally get serious about dating and this is how I feel. I can't even be disgruntled about it though because I do look better with straight hair . Short hair does nothing for my look, and shrinkage keeps my hair short when it's actually not. Styling my natural hair to make it look coiffed takes more time and skill than I'm willing to put into it. I also dress better and wear make up regularly when my hair's straight. When I wear a wash n'go, most of the time I feel that my hair's just there and looks undone. Going natural has made me mad frumpy and most days I can't even be bothered .

Bumping this because I was totally wrong about this .
In the 4 months I've been relaxed, I've gotten zero compliments and not hit on even once! Not one head turn, side eyed glance, nothing. And it wasn't a confidence thing, cause I was surely feeling myself!! Experiencing the difference now, my natural hair was dang near magnetic!! I can't wait to be back to my old self. . . minus being frumpy

 

[Angelicus]

I never need to wear makeup when I wear my hair down.

 

[Channy31]

For me my hair is important because it makes me feel more feminine, especially when it's down. Also when it is healthy I just feel that it looks nice and soft. Also styles can help add to an outfit! As someone who is quite girly I feel that certain styles add to my personality and character.

I get more compliments and feel more confidence when my hair is out rather than being in a bun.

Thats why I'm finding it so hard to avoid heat and protective styling.
I'm trying to get the courage to wear my curly hair out but i'm not their quite yet!

For me my hair is important

 

[Aviah]

Very very interesting thread.

 

[caribeandiva]

I never need to wear makeup when I wear my hair down.

Angelicus so good to see you in these parts!