The Dangers of Comparison

[hillytmj]

On Friday, I got a fresh relaxer, and I could hardly sleep after I combed my hair down. It had grown very well and is about 1 inch or less to BSL (I need to update my photo). I felt so excited and like all of the tips I've learned here - DC, fewer trims, moisturize/seal ends - was paying off.

Then, one conversation frustrated me. I called my mom to tell her the news, and she immediately told me how my sister's hair is longer than mine and actually BSL right now. I'm happy that my sister's hair is long; however, I got frustrated because my sister is not a hair fanatic at all and by chance, her hair is long. She doesn't take vitamins, seal ends, sleep in satin scarfs or anything fancy. In fact, my mom and I have been convincing her not to cut it off into a mohawk style!

I know I was tripping, but for a moment, I really did get frustrated and started comparing myself like, "why am doing all of this, and she is just careless and her hair is growing down her back." I talked to my SO, and he reminded me that everyone is different, just like some people don't gain weight easily and others do, or some people have to study really hard for good grades and others don't.

I mentioned all of this to share my realization: it's nice to relate to others to get ideas and stay motivated, but we have to careful not to compare ourselves to others. I am committed to continuing my regimen to get great lengths.

Can anyone relate?

 

[ajacks]

I can definitely relate. My little sister has always been the one with long hair, that grows so effortlessly despite her use of heat almost everyday and not following any regimen. She can cut it and 6 months later, or less, it's back to the original length.

 

[hillytmj]

I can definitely relate. My little sister has always been the one with long hair, that grows so effortlessly despite her use of heat almost everyday and not following any regimen. She can cut it and 6 months later, or less, it's back to the original length.

Thanks for your response. I know I was tripping, but I thought to myself, if anyone could understand, it would be the ladies of the LHCF.

Do you have to do a lot to make your hair grow/retain length?

 

[KAT25]

Your SO is so right now matter what everyone is going to be different just keeping doing what you do and CONGRATS on your hair.

 

[hillytmj]

Thanks KAT25!

 

[Creatividual]

I can relate as well. My younger sister has thicker hair and it just grows faster than mine. To get the same amount of growth as her, I have to use some growth aids, scalp massages, etc. It used to frustrate me but after a while, I realized that what's mine is mine and what's hers is hers. All I can do is me so I just gotta do what I gotta do to take good care of mine to get it to where I want it to be.

 

[cookie1]

Hillytmj,
I totally understand what you're saying. You have such long beautiful hair which I envy. My hair is fairly healthy but, it's b/c i really care about my hair. But, it seems like it reaches a certain length and stays there. I cut my hair like Halle's last year and it's back at my shoulder this year but, it never goes further. Thank God for your sister's growth but, also know that you're blessed also.

 

[Barbara]

Being consistent in your regimen, keep it simple, and less manipulation is better.

 

[ajacks]

Thanks for your response. I know I was tripping, but I thought to myself, if anyone could understand, it would be the ladies of the LHCF.

Do you have to do a lot to make your hair grow/retain length?

I have to use protective styles to get my hair to retain length, and use growth aids.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Your hair is beautiful. I used to be guilty about comparing until I said enough is enough and just started to K.I.S.S. my hair and it is doing very well.

 

[hillytmj]

Thanks everyone!

 

[hillytmj]

Hillytmj,
I totally understand what you're saying. You have such long beautiful hair which I envy. My hair is fairly healthy but, it's b/c i really care about my hair. But, it seems like it reaches a certain length and stays there. I cut my hair like Halle's last year and it's back at my shoulder this year but, it never goes further. Thank God for your sister's growth but, also know that you're blessed also.

Thanks! You have a great attitude, and I think that's key to all of this. You're right; we're all blessed.

 

[hillytmj]

I can relate as well. My younger sister has thicker hair and it just grows faster than mine. To get the same amount of growth as her, I have to use some growth aids, scalp massages, etc. It used to frustrate me but after a while, I realized that what's mine is mine and what's hers is hers. All I can do is me so I just gotta do what I gotta do to take good care of mine to get it to where I want it to be.

Thanks - I love the "what's mine is mine" attitude.

 

[hillytmj]

Your hair is beautiful. I used to be guilty about comparing until I said enough is enough and just started to K.I.S.S. my hair and it is doing very well.

Cool! What does K.I.S.S. stand for?

 

[camilla]

keep it simple sista i am guilty but my hair was always longer than all my sisters but my hair was wl and so thick that i use to cry when i got it done so as soon as i was of age i cut it off like tonie braxton but for me it was always cut off but scissor happy stylist and too much heat its now shoulder length after years of fad cuts and dye FINALLY healthy so just remember while some people crave long hair others envy those with the hot hair cuts etc ...... so happy that you are getting closer to your goal keep up the good work

 

[hillytmj]

keep it simple sista i am guilty but my hair was always longer than all my sisters but my hair was wl and so thick that i use to cry when i got it done so as soon as i was of age i cut it off like tonie braxton but for me it was always cut off but scissor happy stylist and too much heat its now shoulder length after years of fad cuts and dye FINALLY healthy so just remember while some people crave long hair others envy those with the hot hair cuts etc ...... so happy that you are getting closer to your goal keep up the good work

So you're the OTHER sister. LOL! Just kidding. Thanks for the advice and encouragment.

 

[metro_qt]

On Friday, I got a fresh relaxer, and I could hardly sleep after I combed my hair down. It had grown very well and is about 1 inch or less to BSL (I need to update my photo). I felt so excited and like all of the tips I've learned here - DC, fewer trims, moisturize/seal ends - was paying off.

Then, one conversation frustrated me. I called my mom to tell her the news, and she immediately told me how my sister's hair is longer than mine and actually BSL right now. I'm happy that my sister's hair is long; however, I got frustrated because my sister is not a hair fanatic at all and by chance, her hair is long. She doesn't take vitamins, seal ends, sleep in satin scarfs or anything fancy. In fact, my mom and I have been convincing her not to cut it off into a mohawk style!

I know I was tripping, but for a moment, I really did get frustrated and started comparing myself like, "why am doing all of this, and she is just careless and her hair is growing down her back." I talked to my SO, and he reminded me that everyone is different, just like some people don't gain weight easily and others do, or some people have to study really hard for good grades and others don't.

I mentioned all of this to share my realization: it's nice to relate to others to get ideas and stay motivated, but we have to careful not to compare ourselves to others. I am committed to continuing my regimen to get great lengths.

Can anyone relate?

Awwww

I fully understand what you're going through.. I had a best friend who's hair was .... well. let's just say that when she walked around it was like angels were singing and the heavenly light shone around her like a halo...

She simply has beautiful hair, long down to her waist, curly/wavy and thick.
She Does Not Take Care Of Her Hair At All...
then she'll cut it to her shoulders, in January, and by June it'll be back down to her brastrap...

I was always in love with her hair, while I would be babying my own slower growing hair... I just had to do the best with what I had...

Point of the story above... She recently had a baby, and cut her hair short to look more mature since she's in her 30's... Her hair does not grow fast at all anymore (pregnancy really slowed down her growth)... The short neck length cut is nice on her, but her hair doesn't wave or curl anymore either... (the length is too short)

I'm just saying be happy with what you have, there's some one out there who Wishes they had what you currently have, and those that have what you want? They may not be able to keep it, or you may be able to achieve the same thing as them!