The Breakup

Prettymetty

Prettymetty

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Why did you break up with your ex?

Let's talk about breakups. The good, the bad, the ugly, the funny.
You can vent, cry, get advice, etc.
 
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I'll go first. I left my ex, because I woke up one day and realized I had married the wrong man for all the right reasons. He was handsome, sweet, I loved his family and he adored me. But behind closed doors my life was a nightmare. He was jealous, controlling and he had a drinking problem. He also suffered from ptsd from his days in the Navy. I saw the signs in early dating, but he came into my life at the right time. We fell in love, got engaged and got married within a year. I left him after several arrests and Duis. I didn't want to raise my sons (our sons) in a hostile environment.

I'm so glad I got out when I did. He is still a great father to our boys, but that's it.
 
Prettymetty said:
I'll go first. I left my ex, because I woke up one day and realized I had married the wrong man for all the right reasons. He was handsome, sweet, I loved his family and he adored me. But behind closed doors my life was a nightmare. He was jealous, controlling and he had a drinking problem. He also suffered from ptsd from his days in the Navy. I saw the signs in early dating, but he came into my life at the right time. We fell in love, got engaged and got married within a year. I left him after several arrests and Duis. I didn't want to raise my sons (our sons) in a hostile environment.

I'm so glad I got out when I did. He is still a great father to our boys, but that's it.
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Hmmm, you know a coworker said this once and at the time I thought she was tripping. but i think she was right. My current SO/DH is sort of like my first "boyfriend".

While I wasn't a virgin, it was like that Ms. Celie/Shug Avery scene with he and I. [tmi!!]

everyone else i dated was sort of for the wrong reasons.

funny this thread should appear, because just turning 40, i have a lot of retrospective thoughts, memories lately.

The question though. The times me and my SO took "breaks" {LOL< the new breakup}
it was due to us either feeling trapped, imprisoned, or due to a power struggle.

Guilty on both ends the reason we get along is due to our like behaviors, strange but true.

So before him, the last guys [3] I broke up [if you even want to call them "relationships"] with concurrently were due to me meeting and dealing with my SO. Yes, it is EXACTLY how it sounds... but you live and learn.

Great thread!!!
 
I wanted to settle down 3 years later and he said I was just suppose to be a prom date. :lol: The boyfriend after him, he wanted a relationship but I could smell "player" from a mile away.
 
I was dumped via an email. It was soooooo friggin funny, after he called me corrupt. His punk arse couldn't even tell me face to face. LOL
 
I broke up with him because he exhausted me with his insecurities and I stopped loving him. I cared about him and his feelings, but I simply did not have the energy nor the desire to continue things.
 
I broke up with my daughters father because he was (is) an abusive cheater.

I broke up with another guy for multiple reasons...we clashed due to his arrogant blunt ways. I did not trust him. I felt he wasn't a good father. He had a decent income but wasn't open to a wife not working even though he had a traveling job.
 
Its funny. In the first stage of my degree one of my lecturers gave a statistic on the amount of women who leave men after they start higher education

I broke up with him at the end of the first year:look:. Uni made me more confident and sociable and he was more of a homebody. I was like that before, but I changed. Plus my world view was different because of my study.

Another factor was that we stopped having full sex for maybe 8 months because of him, so I started obsessing about a steamy affair with my now SO:look: I actually broke up with him when I realised I couldn't be intimate with him without thinking about someone else:ohwell:
 
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SO just broke up with me yesterday two weeks before we are supposed to leave for vacation together. Kinda shocked and laughed at the same time because I planned on leaving him AFTER we got back.

He paid for the trip so it's already booked. Have a good mind to go anyways (Kanye shrug)
 
mscurly said:
SO just broke up with me yesterday two weeks before we are supposed to leave for vacation together. Kinda shocked and laughed at the same time because I planned on leaving him AFTER we got back.

He paid for the trip so it's already booked. Have a good mind to go anyways (Kanye shrug)
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Wow that's bad timing... What was his reason?
 
Prettymetty said:
Wow that's bad timing... What was his reason?
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He is really bad with communication. It's hard for him to express how he feels. I've talked to him about this numerous times. He agrees he has issues and everytime we have talked about it he gets all sad. Lately it had been irritating me so I was thinking about taking a break anyways.

He says he wants to work on himself and be alone for a while so he can work on his lack of communication. I said ok I wasn't even gonna sit there and debate with this dude. Whats most bothering me is my ego that he beat me to the punch.

Its crazy because just 2 days ago he took me shopping to buy new clothes for the trip.


Still deciding on if I want to go on this trip.

Heck I need a vaca
 
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mscurly said:
He is really bad with communication. It's hard for him to express how he feels. I've talked to him about this numerous times. He agrees he has issues and everytime we have talked about it he gets all sad. Lately it had been irritating me so I was thinking about taking a break anyways. He says he wants to work on himself and be alone for a while so he can work on his lack of communication. I said ok I wasn't even gonna sit there and debate with this dude. Whats most bothering me is my ego that he beat me to the punch. Its crazy because just 2 days ago he took me shopping to buy new clothes for the trip. Still deciding on if I want to go on this trip. Heck I need a vaca
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You might meet someone on the trip! Since it's paid for I would go.
 
I don't agree with going on a trip that your ex-boyfriend paid for unless he insists that you do. If you really want to break off all ties, do just that.

To me it is like you're using the person. What goes around comes around, I would be too concern that the repercussion of this manifests itself in a different way in my next relationship.
 
I'm not using him because he paid for the trip and this was his idea. Plus he ended it with me so why should I feel bad about going.
 
My last break up was initiated by me after dealing with chronic lies, cheating, apologies and promises to do better for close to three years. The straw that broke the camel's back was when we were spending one night together and a call from a female came in requesting him to go out. It was after midnight.

He started to get ready to head out despite my pleas and tears. The next day he called, apologizing, saying he realized he was in the wrong, blah blah blah....I said goodbye and never looked back.

That was over a year ago. I broke up with dude that winter, met my fiance that spring (thank you OKCupid), got engaged early this year and we are currently planning our wedding and construction of our new home. My fiance is an architect/general contractor and is building a new home for us :grin:.

Meanwhile, the ex is still trying to reach out to me, begging and pleading for another chance. His number is blocked but he hassles my sister and mother ever so often. :lol:

When one door closes....

...I've never been happier and am so glad I didn't settle.
 
pretty much i would go on that vacation--look amazing and meet a cutie or two

chile puuuuhleaseeee lolol

while old dude getting his mind right-i would be getting mines right with a mojito and a fine cutie on the beach---lmaooo
:yep::yep::yep::yep::yep:




mscurly said:
I'm not using him because he paid for the trip and this was his idea. Plus he ended it with me so why should I feel bad about going.
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I once broke up with a guy to focus on school. I had known him since high school...We were better as friends anyway, so we mutually broke it off and went back to being friends during my senior year of college. We have remained friends over the years. Most of my exes end up being really good friends. My ex husband is the only one that I can't communicate with at all
 
ChasingBliss said:
I realized that I was not in love with him. Not sure if I ever was. Too bad it took me 10 yrs to figure that out.
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Ditto but it only took me 6 years to figure it out! I was in an LDR and the closer it got to deciding where we were going to move, the more I had doubts. I didn't want to move but there weren't any good job prospects for him where I am. I broke it off on his last visit to see me. Oh well! I'm with a great person now and I'm sure he is too.
 
I was in an abusive relationship. I can honestly say I did not leave him because I did not love him. I left when I realized one of us was going to die, the other was going jail and I was no longer afraid of either one. I realized I loved myself more than that and more so God loved me more than that. It's been a few years since, haven't seen or spoken to him since the day I left. I have made peace, learned and have grown from it all.
 
Glad I found this thread....here's my recent post in Relationship RT thread


A856 said:
So when did it become a "process" to break up with someone?!?? It's going on 3weeks now...yes I have some fault in the long process, I'm mad at myself too. But trust me when I say I'm over it.
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Rastafarai said:
My last break up was initiated by me after dealing with chronic lies, cheating, apologies and promises to do better for close to three years. The straw that broke the camel's back was when we were spending one night together and a call from a female came in requesting him to go out. It was after midnight. He started to get ready to head out despite my pleas and tears. The next day he called, apologizing, saying he realized he was in the wrong, blah blah blah....I said goodbye and never looked back. That was over a year ago. I broke up with dude that winter, met my fiance that spring (thank you OKCupid), got engaged early this year and we are currently planning our wedding and construction of our new home. My fiance is an architect/general contractor and is building a new home for us :grin:. Meanwhile, the ex is still trying to reach out to me, begging and pleading for another chance. His number is blocked but he hassles my sister and mother ever so often. :lol: When one door closes.... ...I've never been happier and am so glad I didn't settle.
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I vaguely remember your story....did you share it here? Wow this gives me hope.
 
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