The Benefits of Celibacy (Tony Gaskins)
- Thread starter LoveisYou
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SelahOco
Well-Known Member
Oh, this is the young man you guys were talking about in the other thread? He is speaking the truth...good to see him doing something positive that young people can relate to.
But lol @ him putting his wife out there ' I mean we had sex before marriage, but she made me wait...'
And I went ahead and cut it off when he said 'gont-tore-ree-uh'!!!
But lol @ him putting his wife out there ' I mean we had sex before marriage, but she made me wait...'
And I went ahead and cut it off when he said 'gont-tore-ree-uh'!!!
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
I, too, stopped watching shortly after he said gone-toria 
but I liked the video and agreed with the message.
I actually have friends who advise me that "you have to be a freak for your man" and have sex with him and this, that, and the other to keep him interested but it makes me
because they do all those things and I'm there when guy after guy loses interest. I'm not trying to put them down or brag in any way because the guys from my past weren't perfect at all, or they wouldn't be in my past, but they still call me to this day and they know how I get down (or don't get down, rather) so obviously sex isn't the key to keeping a man and celibacy will not run a guy that is interested in you away.
I feel so close to my current SO because in the past, I never let guys know upfront that we weren't going to be having sex, they just eventually had to figure it out. I told my SO upfront because I'm not in my early 20's anymore so I knew that he would be expecting that and I wanted to get it out of the way so that he could move on if he wanted. He has been so amazing. Just to see how he has embraced celibacy and still does the most that he can to show me how he feels about me really makes me trust and appreciate him so much. Even if we end up not working out, I know now that I wouldn't accept anything less because like the country man said in the video, men that are willing to wait and that want more than sex from you are out there, even though people will try to make you feel weird and outdated.
It's also super easy to talk about marriage with him. If you're waiting for marriage to have sex and you're exclusive, then you both know there's an end goal so it's not at all weird to talk about it. Of course I don't want to speak too soon because we're still in the dating stage, but there is a clear difference in his intentions vs. the intentions of guys who I 1) wasn't clear about my intentions with or 2) the SO that I slept with. (And I want to point out here that I'm not saying if you sleep with someone it makes it less likely he'll marry you; obviously I'd be a fool to say that because I'm not married I'm just making the point that one benefit of celibacy until marriage makes marriage--if that's what you even want--something that's an obvious goal once you've put that out there and reached a certain point. My SO still likes sex. So do I. Ain't nobody got time to be playin games for months for nothin )
He makes his little jokes, though. I texted him about Meagan Goode and her preacher getting married and he called me back and said "Well, I hope they're somewhere having sex now!" Like, he was joking but he was serious. -_-
I think some people may sideeye Tony Gaskins because he's so young and because in general, we are (rightfully so IMO) sick of men telling us what we "need" to do, but as a young man who chose to get married and who promotes other men doing the right thing instead of being triflin, I appreciate his perspective.
but I liked the video and agreed with the message. I actually have friends who advise me that "you have to be a freak for your man" and have sex with him and this, that, and the other to keep him interested but it makes me
because they do all those things and I'm there when guy after guy loses interest. I'm not trying to put them down or brag in any way because the guys from my past weren't perfect at all, or they wouldn't be in my past, but they still call me to this day and they know how I get down (or don't get down, rather) so obviously sex isn't the key to keeping a man and celibacy will not run a guy that is interested in you away. I feel so close to my current SO because in the past, I never let guys know upfront that we weren't going to be having sex, they just eventually had to figure it out. I told my SO upfront because I'm not in my early 20's anymore so I knew that he would be expecting that and I wanted to get it out of the way so that he could move on if he wanted. He has been so amazing. Just to see how he has embraced celibacy and still does the most that he can to show me how he feels about me really makes me trust and appreciate him so much. Even if we end up not working out, I know now that I wouldn't accept anything less because like the country man said in the video, men that are willing to wait and that want more than sex from you are out there, even though people will try to make you feel weird and outdated.
It's also super easy to talk about marriage with him. If you're waiting for marriage to have sex and you're exclusive, then you both know there's an end goal so it's not at all weird to talk about it. Of course I don't want to speak too soon because we're still in the dating stage, but there is a clear difference in his intentions vs. the intentions of guys who I 1) wasn't clear about my intentions with or 2) the SO that I slept with. (And I want to point out here that I'm not saying if you sleep with someone it makes it less likely he'll marry you; obviously I'd be a fool to say that because I'm not married
I'm just making the point that one benefit of celibacy until marriage makes marriage--if that's what you even want--something that's an obvious goal once you've put that out there and reached a certain point. My SO still likes sex. So do I. Ain't nobody got time to be playin games for months for nothin ) He makes his little jokes, though. I texted him about Meagan Goode and her preacher getting married and he called me back and said "Well, I hope they're somewhere having sex now!" Like, he was joking but he was serious. -_-
I think some people may sideeye Tony Gaskins because he's so young and because in general, we are (rightfully so IMO) sick of men telling us what we "need" to do, but as a young man who chose to get married and who promotes other men doing the right thing instead of being triflin, I appreciate his perspective.
Last edited:
Theo
New Member
I didn't really watch the video, but I never really thought of celibacy as a way to make a guy more interested in you... I always thought of it as a good way to screen. That's interesting that practicing celibacy might make a guy take you more seriously.
Either, marriage has always been an end goal in all of my relationships, b/c I practiced abstinence for such a long time. I think that's why my relationships have all been so positive. And I know that I can be a good partner and bring more to a relationship than just sex, b/c I've been able to successfully maintain relationships for 2+ yrs with no cooch. Its really good for your self esteem and helps you have a really empowered approach to dating.
I'm all for celibacy. I'm debating back and forth if I want to go back to that approach for my next rlp. I dunno. I probably will. Its so much easier.
Either, marriage has always been an end goal in all of my relationships, b/c I practiced abstinence for such a long time. I think that's why my relationships have all been so positive. And I know that I can be a good partner and bring more to a relationship than just sex, b/c I've been able to successfully maintain relationships for 2+ yrs with no cooch. Its really good for your self esteem and helps you have a really empowered approach to dating.
I'm all for celibacy. I'm debating back and forth if I want to go back to that approach for my next rlp. I dunno. I probably will. Its so much easier.
I, too, stopped watching shortly after he said gone-toria
I actually have friends who advise me that "you have to be a freak for your man" and have sex with him and this, that, and the other to keep him interested but it makes me
I feel so close to my current SO because in the past, I never let guys know upfront that we weren't going to be having sex, they just eventually had to figure it out. I told my SO upfront because I'm not in my early 20's anymore so I knew that he would be expecting that and I wanted to get it out of the way so that he could move on if he wanted. He has been so amazing. Just to see how he has embraced celibacy and still does the most that he can to show me how he feels about me really makes me trust and appreciate him so much. Even if we end up not working out, I know now that I wouldn't accept anything less because like the country man said in the video, men that are willing to wait and that want more than sex from you are out there, even though people will try to make you feel weird and outdated.
It's also super easy to talk about marriage with him. If you're waiting for marriage to have sex and you're exclusive, then you both know there's an end goal so it's not at all weird to talk about it. Of course I don't want to speak too soon because we're still in the dating stage, but there is a clear difference in his intentions vs. the intentions of guys who I 1) wasn't clear about my intentions with or 2) the SO that I slept with. (And I want to point out here that I'm not saying if you sleep with someone it makes it less likely he'll marry you; obviously I'd be a fool to say that because I'm not married
He makes his little jokes, though. I texted him about Meagan Goode and her preacher getting married and he called me back and said "Well, I hope they're somewhere having sex now!" Like, he was joking but he was serious. -_-
I think some people may sideeye Tony Gaskins because he's so young and because in general, we are (rightfully so IMO) sick of men telling us what we "need" to do, but as a young man who chose to get married and who promotes other men doing the right thing instead of being triflin, I appreciate his perspective.
Flawless_JYM
New Member
I know you get tired of guys telling you what women need to do but I think it comes with the territory. I think better yet know women do the same thing but we don't pay as much attention because it isn't focused on you (general). I like hearing advice from guys cause they give opinions that I don't think our girlfriends will give us at times. Like anything sometimes I agree other times I don't but I like the different perspective and don't take it to heart often. I also noticed some of the stuff I take to heart is things that I probably do but hey it's life lol
I agree, I like Gaskins and agree with a lot of what he says. Enjoyed his book Mrs. Right, I should do a review on it.