Texlax or Just let it pass? -- Need a 'lil Encouragement

[Incognitus]

I have this sudden urge to texlax. erplexed Lately, I've just been sick of my natural hair. But then, I'd miss the texture. I wish I could just texlax for a few months. Can I texlax just half of my head (the difficult section)? I must sound crazy....I'm feeling crazy right now. I just don't know what to do with my hair! I'm on a student's budget, so I just can't go out and get my hair done by someone. I almost never --um, yeah, it, pretty much never-- wear my hair out. As much as I like the feel of my hair, the feeling of no chemicals, I'm tired of all the extra work and inability to style it. Since I've been 100% natural, I either worn a wig or a pretty head wrap bun thingy (dunno what it's called).

I'm plagued with ssks, and I don't know what to do about them. I've never had or even knew about SSKs/DSKs until being 100% natural. Despite that my hair is much stronger now, I have more setback (caused by ssks). So what do I do?

Wearing my hair out is not an option for me because I simply don't like the shrunken length, upside-down triangle look on me. My face is too chubby, I've gained too much weight, to pull that off. It just seems much more difficult to find acceptable styles for a chubby face (please keep in mind that I'm only speaking for myself).

I thought about doing cornrows and wearing wigs, but it's just so darn hot, AND I don't really know how to cornrow.

So now what? Texlax? But then, what kind of damage does that do? Do a BKT? Hmm, but isn't that potentially even more damage than texlaxing?

I don't know --maybe I just need to vent. I need a little encouragement ladies. I know I'm at an awkward length stage and, maybe, should just wait it out...just let this feeling pass. I'm hoping that once it gets much longer, I will not have so much issues with it (i.e. it'll be easier to style).

 

[Aviah]

Maybe put it away for a while in braids or flat iron it? Others say flat ironing more often/ keeping it stretched helps reduce SSKs. I'm trying it too, but taking extra precautions like upping the DCs and protein. Try to ride it out, it may be the length. I felt this way when my hair was growing back from the last cut I had, now its going smoother. If all else fails, you can look up a BKT or texlax.

 

[Curly Luul]

I don’t want to speak for every woman on LHCF, but I think we all might have our bad hair days. Were we all get a little frustrated or fed up with our hair, whether its texlaxed, relaxed, natural, texturised etc... We all have set backs as well, that comes with the whole learning progress.

I won’t tell you to texlax your hair or not because I think that’s a choice you should make. If the issue is that you don’t know what to do with your hair, well there are some great women here who could give you a list of styles you could rock or attempt.

Have you tried ? Braids? Two strain twists? A bun with, a twist out at the front?
Full twist out?

You decided to be natural for a reason, just remember what the reason was. You will be fine, just don’t give up Hun.. We all have our set backs and bad hair days.

 

[Etherealsmile]

Try a light blow dry to stretch out your hair to prevent ssk's it works for me

 

[BraunSugar]

I don't do anything to my hair in the middle of frustration. Cutting, texlaxing, or whatever, just make sure you don't do something you might regret later. Really think about it, look into texlaxing to see if it is something you'd be okay with, & maybe try a few other methods for handling your natural hair before you make a decision. Good luck to you.

 

[1QTPie]

I agree. If you want to change your hair, do it because you want to change it, not because you're frustrated. Saves you from regret. Give yourself a few days and a couple of washes. If you feel like doing it still, then do it. It's just hair.

 

[Hersheygurl]

Hang in there Incognitus. I would humbly suggest to let it pass, because in just one step, you could over-process while trying to texlax. I was always careful and am transitioning from texlaxed, but was always worried every time I touched up whether or not I was going to unintentionally have super straight hair.

Do you CW? I prefer to allow my hair to dry in a stretched state. I try not to comb/brush my hair while dry, and bun or use octopus clips. My DD used to get SSK'S frequently, but I have been CW'G her hair with Tressme B1 for curly hair. I also like it for me, and I don't rinse it all the way out. HTH

 

[biancaelyse]

Please don't take any action on an impulse. Texlaxing is irreversible so please make sure that this is what you want to do for all the right reasons.

I've been natural for 12+ years and I get irritated and bored periodically too.

 

[Renewed1]

I feel you Opster. My hair grows pretty quickly but SSKs will set me back each and every time.

The only thing that has helped me was to do bi-weekly blow dry and/or hot combing my hair.

But I'm a length whore.

 

[mzteaze]

It sounds like its time to switch up hairdos. Have you tried braidouts? twistouts? I get at least 60%+ shrinkage of length, so I try to maximize my using twistouts to get most of my length without the shrinkage.

When I get bored and want straight (near relaxed) hair, I rollerset or even flat iron. For me, because I could do the easiest styles with relaxed hair, when I get bored/frustrated/irritated with my hair, I think about relaxing.

You mentioned shrinkage but have you done a length check? Nothing revitalizes me more than to straighten my natural hair for a length check to know that the shrunken hair has more length then I think.

Ultimately, whether you texlax or not is up to you. But realize, you have more options for styling your other than wash n'gos, wigs or wraps.

 

[alive]

Maybe put it away for a while in braids or flat iron it? Others say flat ironing more often/ keeping it stretched helps reduce SSKs. I'm trying it too, but taking extra precautions like upping the DCs and protein. Try to ride it out, it may be the length. I felt this way when my hair was growing back from the last cut I had, now its going smoother. If all else fails, you can look up a BKT or texlax.

I don't do anything to my hair in the middle of frustration. Cutting, texlaxing, or whatever, just make sure you don't do something you might regret later. Really think about it, look into texlaxing to see if it is something you'd be okay with, & maybe try a few other methods for handling your natural hair before you make a decision. Good luck to you.

I agree with Aviah and BraunSugar
I think most naturals go through this stage of utter frustration and typically, the best thing to do is put your hair away in a protective style like braids or twists while you consider your options. if you still feel like you want to texlax after 4 weeks of braids, then go for it. hair grows no matter the state
i hope you feel better

 

[PearlyCurly]

try not to think about what others would say, just think about how YOU want YOUR hair.

 

[ebsalita]

Hi OP,

I feel you. When I first took my hair out of braids and decided to go natural I really didn't know how to style it (I was never able to style it - if you knew my mum, she'd tell you! ) and the knots were a killer. I realised from the second week of wearing my hair natura that if I wore it curly I was going to lose a LOT of hair to SSK's EVERY time I washed it, so I basically wear my hair blowdried and/or flatironed and I always wash in braids to prevent tangles. I don't know whether you like to use heat, but I'm doing this weekly and my hair feels great - I am keeping it moisturised and deep conditioning weekly and have seen no signs of breakage or weakness. Prior to this, I was very tempted to texturise or tex lax - anything to make it more manageable, but I have a very sensitive scalp and am even now traumatised by the memory of relaxers burning into my head :burning: This thought was enough to spur me into learning how to style my hair and these boards were fantastic.

Please delve into the threads and ask questions - if you see someone post a style you like, compliment them and ask if they don't mind sharing how they achieved it - everyone I've asked has been lovely and shared their methods.

One key thing for me was to buy a few accessories/styling tools - they aren't expensive - I (like yourself) am on a budget:

1. Saw cut comb
2. Banana Clip
3. Pretty headband/ scarf
4. Butterfly clips or similar
5. 3-4 large hair slides
6. Bobby Pins
7. Any accessory that allows a pretty ponytail without pulling the hair

The first style I tried was a twistout. I sectioned my hair and twisted it securing it with bobby pins and then covered it and went to bed. Undid them the next morning then spent 5-10 mins separating the curl. It looked marvellous - a braidout can be worn in a multitude of hairstyles, side bob, all out fro, frohawk, sectioned bun, the list goes on - just get in there and play!

I am enjoying my hair so much more now. All I say it please try to learn and be creative, you may surprise yourself. If you still feel that after all that, you still want to texlax, then maybe you should think about it.

That's my two pence worth - good luck

*back to lurk*

 

[brownsugarbaby]

Im going to agree with other other ladies and suggest you braid it up. There have been many times I as a natural get bored with or get sick of dealing with my hair. So what tends to help me is to put it away. Eventually you'll miss it and want to play with again and go through the love cycle all over again.

Braids are cute and easy not to mention great for retention. Since you're a student I'm sure you could find someone close to your age who braids or knows someone who braids for cheap.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!! You're beautiful no matter what.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I had the urge to texlax, but when I found the right products, that desire went away. I have no more single strand knots and my natural hair is thriving. I suggest looking into natural products. I am currently using Keracare natural Tresses. My natural hair has never felt so moisturized and knot free! Now I will just keep my hair in twists. The more stretched my hair is the least problems i have with it.

 

[Ms Lala]

I get frustrated w/my hair like that as well. That's when I usually just leave it alone for a while. You don't want to make a decision like this while frustrated. If you know of a good stylist maybe give your self a break and allow someone else to do your hair. Put in some twists or a braided style that you can leave alone for a while. If you are still feeling this urge in a couple of months then maybe reevaluate if texlaxing is the right choice for you. And for the record I would texlax before I would BKT, that BKT seems to have unpredictable results and seems worse than regular relaxer.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

Any chance you can go to a natural hair styling salon and get a haircut? I don't know much about it, but I know that there are balancing and layering techniques to counteract that "upside down triangle." Hang in there. I constantly am at a loss for what to do with my hair, and I think this may be the answer for me...maybe. At least it's not permanent. Hair grows back.