Tell Co-workers I have Alopecia Areata?

[ZapMami]

I usually keep it to myself but I have been dealing with alopecia areata for several years now. I grew up with very long hair so It was traumatizing for me at first...cause I was IMO always defined by my hair. Now I deal by wearing weaves, braids, or wigs all the time. My real hair is really thick . It's natural and I can hide spots at sometimes but at other times I get huge spots that take months to grow back. Right now It's in between apl and bsl and I have not yet decided to shave fully bald...cause I'm hoping that eventually it will go away permanently or they will find a treatment for it. The weaves I wear are pretty much same length as my real hair.

I wear extensions or braids most of the time...and I have been saying that this year summer I will try to wear it out...at least as long as I can before I have a flare up. But the thing is it's so unpredictable....I could literally wake up tomorrow and a huge patch be gone it's happened before.

I am tired of explaining my hair to my co-workers. A lot of the hair I've been wearing lately is like my natural texture....so I have been getting so many questions. It's like the more real my hair looks the more questions I get? I used to just tell people it was an weave but I got tired of the "Is that a weave?" question in front of large groups of people at work. So I just started saying No...It's mine. Because I just feel it got to the point that it was spiteful and why would you ask me that in front of a group of white people or men?? Now it has just gotten worse. On Friday I had a co-worker jump up in my face and say that is not your hair!! I walked away from her and started talking to another co-worker. She follows me and proceeds with a scalp check. I felt so violated. I wanted to bop that ****** in the face. But to make her even more upset I still insisted it was, even though she probably felt my braids through my hair. LOL.

Do you feel I should just tell them about the AA so they can get off my back? Part of me feels like it's none of their business and I feel like that it will still somehow backfire on me....Part of me feels like hey this is my reality so I just need to let it be known so I can be free.


Some other options..---I try a really short weave. I've noticed that when I have worn short wigs in the past, where it is obviously a wig I don't get much remarks. It's only when I have a nice install that I am constantly reminded all day that I have a weave. It's like they can't cope with my hair looking nice. I know I have AA and I have to deal with the cards I'm dealt but I am still kinda young and I like trying different hairstyles. I am not ready to shave my head bald yet. But I guess eventually I'll get to that point because I can't hide it forever.


Can someone give me some suggestions?

 

[NaturallyGraceful]

Don't like your coworkers. You need to deal with them & insist on respect.

I have a coworker with alopecia. Initially she wore wigs, weaves & braids an then one day she came in with a TWA complete with large bald spots. It was shocking but the way she carried herself let everyone know she was confident in herself & although a few people asked her about it, she didn't flinch. In an office full of women, if you tell one, then soon the whole office will know.

It's definitely no ones business but yours.
I'm the type that would announce "Hey, I have alopecia & sometimes you'll see my hair-other times you won't. Do Not ask me about my hair again unless you want a problem. I don't want to talk about it." That's just me though.

Good Luck! I hope you can find some comfort with the people around you.

 

[Subscribe]

Refer all of them to Human Resources they'll have an answer for them.

 

[Duchess007]

Refer all of them to Human Resources they'll have an answer for them.

^^^^

That is DEFINITELY the way to go. At the very least, don't answer the "Is that your hair?" question, unless you're saying, "That's inappropriate."

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Naveah2050]

This is honestly so rude your coworker was way out of line.

 

[Kiowa]

My heart would have wanted to pop her in the head, but my mind says to go the HR route...

 

[yaya24]

Get it all in writing and send the incident to HR.

Also next time one of them touches you, cry white tears.. then involve HR.
Play their game & be sure you document everything.

They only go as far as you let them go.

Good luck.

 

[YaniraNaturally]

Also next time one of them touches you, cry white tears]/B].. then involve HR.
Play their game & be sure you document everything. They only go as far as you let them go. Good luck.

Will be using the bolded in the future. And those co-workers are obnoxious. Don't share your business and report them to HR. The cheek!

 

[DarkJoy]

People can be very predatory. If they sense a weakness they'll play on it.

Go to HR and shut them up once you've got some documentation to back you up

2nd, I know it's hard. We all have our insecurities. I got mine. Once people no longer sense this soft spot, they'll stop picking at it. It's rough but working on these areas we're sensitive about in our personal self esteem pretty much nullifies another's ability to do anything to screw us up. Matter of fact, they dont even want to.

 

[yorkpatties]

This makes me very angry for you. Your coworkers sound like junior high school girls. They definitely do not need to be putting their hands on you. This is called harassment and HR handles it.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I wouldn't tell them anything. And if someone asked me something rude about my hair I would stare at them until they walked away. You don't have to respond to everything people ask you.

 

[SelahOco]

You don't need to tell anyone. Your business is your business.

I know you don't want them calling you a liar or gossiping about you, but they sound silly and like they would mess with you either way.

I'm sorry that happened.

It's your hair, you bought it or it was bought for you

You can say 'what a rude question' and carry on about your day... And tell HR so the text time she touches you she's gone.

 

[Froreal3]

They need to mind theirs. Why would someone be so bold as to touch and feel all up in another's hair? I am friendly with a few of my coworkers and would NEVER do that.

I would straight up tell them that it's really none of their business. "Worry about yours, not mine."

 

[IDareT'sHair]

You don't owe them any acknowledgment or explanation of how you are doing you.

I'd flip my weave and walk on.

Continue to nurse your spots and baby your Hair.

 

[Lovestyr]

As others have said it is no one else's concern your personal issues with your hair. I would tell your co workers to mind their own business. Even if they are geninue , still I wouldn't concern myself with their opinions. Whatever makes your comfortable wearing wigs or whether your natural hair. Embrace it and know your beautiful either way

 

[TraciChanel]

ZapMami, what does your co-worker's hair look like? Just curious, because usually when someone else is so obsessed and worried about another person's hair it's because they don't have any of their own (if they do, there's very little of it). Jus' sayin.

Keep your head up. You owe no one any explanations.

 

[jcdlox]

I had a bout of AA about 16 years ago. It started with a 3in bald spot at my crown and over a four year period one spot would grown back and another spot would appear. Thankfully the first one was the largest, and my hair was long enough and thick enough to cover them all. After four years of this cycle all my hair grew back and I haven't had any problems since. I encourage you to be patient and do not be tempted to shave your hair out of desperation (unless you just want that for styling purposes).

As far as your coworkers, I would work on my inner confidence and not answer any questions that are inappropriate. They would ask these questions regardless of your AA because of their lack of character. So just ignore ignorance (see how similar those two words are?) and do whatever you choose with your own hair.

 

[felic1]

Going into someone's hair in a work site is definitely harassment. Document and report. Type everything nicely and keep copies. You might actually be able to sue if they don't quit even if you are not interested. They just need to stop and mind their manners
in the workplace. They do not have the right to act like they do.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'm offended that you got weave checked at work. I'd go to HR. You were physically violated over something that is really nobody's business. You don't have to share any of your personal issues with coworkers.

My sister's friend has this same issue. She wears a lot of sculpted braid styles to hide the bald patches. I recommended that she follow this YouRTuber: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJuiPpz6Gww

It sounds like your coworkers need some sensitivity training. You never really know what someone else is dealing with and your coworkers have no right to put you on the spot and press you to share personal information.