Taming your tongue & guarding your thoughts

[CoveredGirl]

This has got to be one of the hardest battles of my walk with Christ. My tongue always gets me in trouble especially around friends and loved ones. I often find myself speaking before I think and then later suffering the consequences (whether it be hurt feelings, lost friendships etc.) I also think because I'm so "thick-skinned" and not easily intimidated I can have the tendency to put others down unintentionally- and then later realize how others may miscontrue my true intentions through how I may say things.. If that makes sense. I know I can't be the only one here who struggles/struggled with "mouth sins"... At least I hope not . So what do you ladies do to guard your mouths and essentially your thoughts? I plan on purchasing Paula White's "Taming your tongue" cd set she has available- but for now, any tips, advice, scriptures and/or stories would be highly appreciated. TIA

 

[Mystic]

Acknowledging your short comings is the first step to recovery. Sometimes it is OK to speak your mind but if you feel it gets out of hand and hurt other people unnecessarily then maybe you should follow the count rule. Whenever you feel like you are going to explode, count from 1-5 or longer, take a deep breath and the implulsive feeling to react negatively will pass. You would be amazed how talking about it helps to heal. I used to be someone who flares up easily but luckily for me, I found a partner that is the total opposite of me - very calm, understanding and a sounding board. Whenever I felt the way you do, if I reacted in an impatient and angry manner (be it with family, friends etc), we would talk about it and just by listening to how he would have handled the same situation and get a different result, forces me to try new things. I wanted to change so much because i didn't like myself when stuff like that happened, and I admired my partner in how he commanded respect in a less forceful manner. I am must better for it now. If I were not honest enough to admit my problem - just like you are doing now, I wouldn't be at this stage now where not a lot of things annoy me anymore and I am a much better listener than a reactor. One good question to ask yourself is, is it better to tame your tongue and get along with the people you love in the long run or is it more rewarding to let your tongue loose, do whatever gives you immediate satisfaction and jeopardize the love of your family/friends in the long run.

This has got to be one of the hardest battles of my walk with Christ. My tongue always gets me in trouble especially around friends and loved ones. I often find myself speaking before I think and then later suffering the consequences (whether it be hurt feelings, lost friendships etc.) I also think because I'm so "thick-skinned" and not easily intimidated I can have the tendency to put others down unintentionally- and then later realize how others may miscontrue my true intentions through how I may say things.. If that makes sense. I know I can't be the only one here who struggles/struggled with "mouth sins"... At least I hope not . So what do you ladies do to guard your mouths and essentially your thoughts? I plan on purchasing Paula White's "Taming your tongue" cd set she has available- but for now, any tips, advice, scriptures and/or stories would be highly appreciated. TIA

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

In addition to what was said above, check out this book by Joyce Meyers "Me and My Big Mouth". Its a really good read and very inciteful.

 

[cutiestyles]

This has got to be one of the hardest battles of my walk with Christ. My tongue always gets me in trouble especially around friends and loved ones. I often find myself speaking before I think and then later suffering the consequences (whether it be hurt feelings, lost friendships etc.) I also think because I'm so "thick-skinned" and not easily intimidated I can have the tendency to put others down unintentionally- and then later realize how others may miscontrue my true intentions through how I may say things.. If that makes sense. I know I can't be the only one here who struggles/struggled with "mouth sins"... At least I hope not . So what do you ladies do to guard your mouths and essentially your thoughts? I plan on purchasing Paula White's "Taming your tongue" cd set she has available- but for now, any tips, advice, scriptures and/or stories would be highly appreciated. TIA

My words and thoughts do not always honour God but I am getting better.
When I was at uni I used to get into so many arguments and disputes, I was so hot headed and quick to anger! But that sort of attitude it is not good its all about self control and christians have a duty to set an example to other people. The fact that you would like to improve yourself is something that God always takes into consideration. Sometimes we do things that offend the Lord and upset others too but you recognize that. Some people don't even acknowledge their faults but I admire you because you want to better yourself. Thats what being a christian is about, improving our lifestyle and pleasing God. I believe each individual has their own struggles. The best advice I can give is pray and read the bible this has helped and reminded me what God expects of us.

 

[BLESSED1]

I prayed for God to change me into a nicer person, and I improved. Made many more friends and my current friends were quick to point out the change. I've started slipping though, so I started praying again for change. And yeah just admitting your problem is a big step, so it's great that you already tackled that. Good luck hon

 

[CoveredGirl]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone and thanks for your words of encouragment and advice (I was starting to think I was the only one.. ) I will definetely be praying and reading more about it because I know our tongues are one of the most powerful gifts God has given us. I know it will be hard (extremely hard in some cases lol)- but I am going to try to make the conscientious (sp?) effort to think deeper or quicker before I speak.

 

[Bklynqueen]

Hey Baha..

I have the same exact problem as you. I have suffered from "word burp" all my life. LOL. It seems that when people tell me things and I comment, the first word that comes to my brain is unfortunately the first word that comes out of my mouth and then it's too late to recall. I think the problem is that I am extremely blunt, even with myself so I'm kind of thick-skinned. It is a constant effort for me to listen and don't speak. Sometimes I used the wrong wording when trying to get a point across and the person I'm talking to completely takes it the wrong way with me wondering, what the heck did I say? It's to the point where I can make a joke and someone actually takes me seriously! Maybe I deadpan too much. BUT the book you mentioned does sound like a good read and I have been making a real strong effort to just LISTEN to what the other person is saying and by the time they finished, I would have gathered the right words to use and the right TONE and the other person won't have hurt feelings. This may help you also...I have been told by others that I am improving, which is a great relief. I fear hurting my little daughter one day due to my tactless mouth.

 

[MizAvalon]

BUT the book you mentioned does sound like a good read and I have been making a real strong effort to just LISTEN to what the other person is saying and by the time they finished, I would have gathered the right words to use and the right TONE and the other person won't have hurt feelings. This may help you also...I have been told by others that I am improving, which is a great relief. I fear hurting my little daughter one day due to my tactless mouth.

Bklynqueen, I'm very happy to read that you are working on this. This is coming from someone who grew up with a father with a pretty sharp tongue and a WAY of saying things that would just crush you. I'm still affected by that to this day.

 

[firecracker]

Stay strong in prayer. I feel your pain. I am working on controling my thought pattern and process because even though I don't voice what I say as much my thoughts suck. You will be in my prayers. God is a awesome God.