Taking a 5 month break from the MARRIAGE?
- Thread starter naturalmanenyc
- Start date
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
My former friend and her husband went through something like this. He ended up teaching English in Saudi Arabia for 8 months and she stayed here with their 2 daughters. She's the one that told him to go. He is a habitual cheater and I think she just got tired and told me she needed a break from him. I know they are going through reconciliation now, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's still cheating.
Leesh
Well-Known Member
I am absolutely speechless right now! Phew! Ok, She could not have put it any better, the YTer took every word right out of my mouth.
This female has lost herself in this man, he was her first and she can't seem to get past that, some women can't. Also he has instilled in her that he is some sort of prize to have and that no other human is gonna want her, thats why he reminds her of how she looks constantly, this all boils down to her esteem, which he has tore down to manipulate her. He believes she has no backbone and will virtually allow anything, since he was able to cheat on several different occasions and still be with her to this date. This cycle will continue for her if she doesn't put her foot down, it will only get worse.
As the YTer suggested, she needs to seek therapy to gain strength within her heart and soul, to build up some defense against this fool! I sooo feel for women in situations like this, its sad, but at the same time it angers me! Grrrrr!
This female has lost herself in this man, he was her first and she can't seem to get past that, some women can't. Also he has instilled in her that he is some sort of prize to have and that no other human is gonna want her, thats why he reminds her of how she looks constantly, this all boils down to her esteem, which he has tore down to manipulate her. He believes she has no backbone and will virtually allow anything, since he was able to cheat on several different occasions and still be with her to this date. This cycle will continue for her if she doesn't put her foot down, it will only get worse.
As the YTer suggested, she needs to seek therapy to gain strength within her heart and soul, to build up some defense against this fool! I sooo feel for women in situations like this, its sad, but at the same time it angers me! Grrrrr!
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I'd need a break from someone like that also, but it wouldn't be a temporary one. Habitual to me= he doesn't care enough about me to be faithful or to change. He feels too safe/arrogant and isn't the least bit afraid he might wake up one day and find me gone.
Why doesn't she leave him? Who wants someone after they've dipped in everyone else. Plus who wants to go through the heartbreak everytime you see him? I would go on but this lady below has all the right words.
And thats why he's still cheating. With her.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
Wow, Bronze Goddess is 100% on point with her advice. She's so pretty, too 
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
Girl- who the hell knows.
I think she feels like she couldn't get anything else now that she has two kids and is pregnant with the third. He put her through the ringer. Cheated while they were still dating in college and gave her an STD. It was curable but there were residual effects that ended up hurting her when she was pregnant for the first time with their twins. After graduation, he went to the military. He cheated on her while he was in boot camp and she's pregnant alone, etc. Then they twins were born prematurely, one was born with cerebral palsy and the other died- all because of the complications of that STD. After the funeral, she actually took a break from school and moved on base with him. He cheated again while she was pregnant the second time and a few other times after that. They have some kind of arrangement where he said she could go cheat on him with a couple designated people any time. I know she messed around with one of these people for a minute but I agree- it couldn't be me.
Guitarhero
New Member
Wow, Bronze Goddess is 100% on point with her advice. She's so pretty, too
Her hair is beautiful! I cannot even comment on this poor woman's trouble.
BronzeGoddess is my favorite Ytuber right now, I have locs too and love her tutorials, she's also a sweetheart and gives great advice
lotusdream
Well-Known Member
That made me sad. I couldn't even watch the whole thing.
GOT D-M! He's such a lowlife for making a lie out of his vows to her and God. Repeatly. Then killing the baby???? 
And she's stupid for taking the horrid things he's done. Then insane for continuing to get pregnant knowing how he was. Not to mention sleepin with him raw. After he'd given her an STD before. And killed their baby.
Then killing the baby???? And she's stupid for taking the horrid things he's done. Then insane for continuing to get pregnant knowing how he was. Not to mention sleepin with him raw. After he'd given her an STD before. And killed their baby.
Girl- who the hell knows.
I think she feels like she couldn't get anything else now that she has two kids and is pregnant with the third. He put her through the ringer. Cheated while they were still dating in college and gave her an STD. It was curable but there were residual effects that ended up hurting her when she was pregnant for the first time with their twins. After graduation, he went to the military. He cheated on her while he was in boot camp and she's pregnant alone, etc. Then they twins were born prematurely, one was born with cerebral palsy and the other died- all because of the complications of that STD. After the funeral, she actually took a break from school and moved on base with him. He cheated again while she was pregnant the second time and a few other times after that. They have some kind of arrangement where he said she could go cheat on him with a couple designated people any time. I know she messed around with one of these people for a minute but I agree- it couldn't be me.
babyu21
New Member
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who has been married for nine years and she said if her husband cheated she would take him back. She told me cheating was not a deal breaker for her because they have 4 kids together, however, she listed domestic abuse as her deal breaker. I just sat and listened as I am still single but there is no way on Gods green earth that I would accept cheating. She told me I would have a change of heart when I meant the right person, but little does she know I will NOT.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
GOT D-M! He's such a lowlife for making a lie out of his vows to her and God. Repeatly.
And she's stupid for taking the horrid things he's done. Then insane for continuing to get pregnant knowing how he was. Not to mention sleepin with him raw. After he'd given her an STD before. And killed their baby.
I would like to think that I'd never stay with someone who cheated on me, but how many times do you hear about women who stay or even worse- blame the other woman. On top of that, many women are down right too embarrassed to be open to even talking about something like their husband cheating- so alot of them probably suffer in silence. I know I'd probably be in the latter category and hopefully just get a divorce and not say ish about what happened.
Ladybelle
New Member
There's a big difference between a man who constantly cheats on his wife & one who does it 1x and regrets his mistake, changes and never does it again.
This fool she got... he has no remorse or respect for her. When she finally gets tired of being sick & tired, I hope it isn't too late.
This fool she got... he has no remorse or respect for her. When she finally gets tired of being sick & tired, I hope it isn't too late.
Almaz
New Member
I so agree. There are men like that. There are women out there. I hear that sometimes a good woman or good man may make a mistake.
But a habitual cheater is a life mistake. Get rid of that before they drives you crazy because he or she ill.
DSP
New Member
By definition, the "right person" is not going to be an adulterer.
I don't understand giving your spouse a pass to cheat even once. After the first time, wouldn't the next time will be even easier?
My marriage is by no means perfect, but I hope I never feel so trapped or dependent that I have to accept that kind of shabby treatment even once. How does a married man's penis enter some random vagina by mistake? That sounds deliberate as hell to me.
As for forgiveness, I can forgive from afar.
Let me take my happy behind to bed.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
By definition, the "right person" is not going to be an adulterer.
I don't understand giving your spouse a pass to cheat even once. After the first time, wouldn't the next time will be even easier?
My marriage is by no means perfect, but I hope I never feel so trapped or dependent that I have to accept that kind of shabby treatment even once. How does a married man's penis enter some random vagina by mistake? That sounds deliberate as hell to me.
As for forgiveness, I can forgive from afar.
Let me take my happy behind to bed.
I think the worst thing that could happen to me if I was cheated on (haven't been as far as I know) would be the hypervigillance or projecting insinuations of infidelity that the cheating spouse has on you. I was watching a comedian once who talked about it. Apparently this is true in real life- especially if you've cheated and gotten away with it.
libertysince05
New Member
i cant decided which situation is worse...
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
humm. with regards to the habitual cheater -- the one who gave his wife an STD which resulted in the loss of life (newborn).
I would CHOP his penis off -- and guess what? i would get off because I would blame it on PPD (Post Partum Depression).
end of story.
*sits in chair n lights up a newport one hunnit*
I would CHOP his penis off -- and guess what? i would get off because I would blame it on PPD (Post Partum Depression).
end of story.
*sits in chair n lights up a newport one hunnit*
