Stylist Anxiety...Advice Please...(kinda long)

[Artemis]

Hi ladies!

After 6 mos of getting my hair in (what I would say) much healthier shape, I am wondering if maybe I should incorporate the help of a stylist into my routine. I know sometimes I can be lazy when wash day comes around, and rollersets or blowdrying can become a pain, and I'd hate for that occasional lazy day to ruin my progress...I haven't been to a salon in yrs (due to all the drama that most of us know a/b--I won't even go there! ) so needless to say, when it comes to doing the research for a stylist I am terrified. (Well, there is this one girl I went to sporadically for trims, but I am afraid to ask her to do anything else for me erplexed and she's expensive--after I do my touch-up, I'd see her for a trim and pay $50-60!! Just to cut the hair off *smh*)

So does anyone feel my pain? Does anyone have any advice that could calm my nerves? I'd love to get a stylist that understands my fears and doesn't shave me bald (I had a nightmare that happened once)...OR should I just suck it up and continue to do what I've been doing--giving my hair the best TLC it's had in a long while. I am in the process of reaching SL sometime this yr and in the middle of my first ever 12 wk stretch (I'm @ wk 8--the make it or break it period) and would one day like to reach MBL, so I just wonder if I can really do it by myself, or do I *need* a stylist as it gets longer...

I hope what I am asking makes sense...I feel really troubled right now.

TIA

 

[LoveLiLi]

Hey Artemis,
I don't think you need a stylist, but I like to go to the salon every few months just to give my hair a more polished look. I've started trimming my own ends and I'm getting better, but I'd like to find someone I can really trust to do it for me instead.

I'm looking to get a trim and some highlights and I just don't feel like doing all of that at home, so I'm taking a chance on a new stylist. I've been to the salon before and they do good hair, so I don't feel as anxious as I usually would. If you don't have enough trust in your stylist yet, speak to the women you know who have long and healthy hair and ask them where they get their hair done (and who does good hair in the shop).

If you don't know any women who have nice hair or if they won't give you the info., you'll have to interview your own stylists. Have them do safe things at first, like a shampoo and a blowout. If you like the way they do your hair and they know how to take direction you can have them trim/color/relax your hair or whatever it is you'd like to have done. I don't come across many stylists who focus on healthy hair, do exactly what you say, and are affordable, but they're out there. Good luck!

 

[sprungonhairboards]

DON'T DO IT!!!



unless you just really really need to

 

[Artemis]

LOL @ Sprung!

Thanks Khalia for your advice

I'm just worried that maybe I am not doing enough for my hair, and that two heads (and pairs of hands) attending to my goal are better than one.

No, I definitely am not considering 'haircut girl' to be my regular stylist--I'd only gone to her 2 or 3 times (the only times I trimmed) and the last time was at least 6 mos ago. So essentially I'd be some random-off-the-street customer to a stylist, freaking out, breaking out into hives and hyperventilating as she/he touches my hair. I don't like having to confront them when they suggest wackiness (like that I wash too often [2x/wk] or that deep conditioning will damage my hair ) so the potential of that happening is really stressing me out.

I do have 1 stylist and one other salon in mind if I do decide to set foot into a salon *gasp*, so I'll continue to ponder it further.

Also...
Does anyone have any suggestions about how often one might go to a salon for a *treat* visit, while you mainly care for your hair at home??
Like maybe start out with a wash/set once a month (and then build up to every 2 wks), or touch-ups and trims only? Do you think that could be a good way to sort of take the pressure off the "kitchen-tician"?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

DON'T DO IT!!!



unless you just really really need to

I didn't wanna say it, but I TOTALLY agree.

No stylist will ever love and pamper your hair more than you do. For me, experimenting is not worth the time, headache and risk. If you're seeing growth and progress with your own work, I'd stick with that. There are ladies here who can do everything for self...relax, trim, color, style, rollerset, everything, and while that may not be for everybody, there's someone here who can teach you how to do whatever it is your stylist can do and with less stress & damage to your hair.

So uh, yeah, big co-sign with Sprung.

 

[Artemis]

Thanks, DI

 

[Chromia]

I didn't wanna say it, but I TOTALLY agree.

No stylist will ever love and pamper your hair more than you do. For me, experimenting is not worth the time, headache and risk. If you're seeing growth and progress with your own work, I'd stick with that. There are ladies here who can do everything for self...relax, trim, color, style, rollerset, everything, and while that may not be for everybody, there's someone here who can teach you how to do whatever it is your stylist can do and with less stress & damage to your hair.

So uh, yeah, big co-sign with Sprung.

ITA. Since you were able to get your hair in healthier shape, continue what you've been doing. It will be easier for you to reach SL this year, to stretch for as long as you want, and to eventually reach MBL if you do it yourself.

You don't ever need a stylist. You can do it by yourself. Check out the fotkis of some ladies who do everything themselves. They're doing a great job and you're just as capable as they are of doing the same.

 

[Artemis]

ITA. Since you were able to get your hair in healthier shape, continue what you've been doing. It will be easier for you to reach SL this year, to stretch for as long as you want, and to eventually reach MBL if you do it yourself.

You don't ever need a stylist. You can do it by yourself. Check out the fotkis of some ladies who do everything themselves. They're doing a great job and you're just as capable as they are of doing the same.

Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. I find sometimes I get discouraged, esp. when I see fotkis from ladies who started out w/way more hair than I did. I should probably search for some that are at the same level as I am, so that I can get more perspective... I know I can do it, though. I just have to stay focused. (And remind myself of the money I'm saving )

This really helps me refresh my HHG confidence

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

I want to go to a stylist too, but mainly because I'm tired of the boring styles that I do. I think that I am just going to try to continue doing my hair myself because it is the longest that it has ever been. I figure that if I go to a stylist I won't have any hair

I say try it out, but if they start talking about trimming and you don't need a trim, RUN away as fast as you can because that is not the stylist for you

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

hey art, i feel your pain, i really do. But it's simple, if the only reason why u want to see a stylist is because you get lazy er now n then...then just go to her ONLY for a rollerset or your style preference. You SHOULD NOT ever let a new stylist cut/trim your hair. You should have a relationship with her and make sure she proves to be considerate of your wishes as well as the clients she has. Just do rollersets for a few months..u will evenually see a client that asks for a trim, then u can see how she handles that. and also i WOULD NOT pay no $50 just for a trim. Are you kidding me? that lady surely ripped you off. i mean what was so special about it??? did she hold inkpen sized clumps of strands and singlely trim away each split end? Or did she just brush all your hair to the back and snip off the uneven bits, like most stylists do? girl u should be doing that yourself...its not hard to do at all and that way u can have peace of mind. the only reason i would get a trim is if i had a particular hairstyle or layers that need special attention. shooooot.

 

[CAPlush]

Hi ladies!

After 6 mos of getting my hair in (what I would say) much healthier shape, I am wondering if maybe I should incorporate the help of a stylist into my routine. I know sometimes I can be lazy when wash day comes around, and rollersets or blowdrying can become a pain, and I'd hate for that occasional lazy day to ruin my progress...I haven't been to a salon in yrs (due to all the drama that most of us know a/b--I won't even go there! ) so needless to say, when it comes to doing the research for a stylist I am terrified. (Well, there is this one girl I went to sporadically for trims, but I am afraid to ask her to do anything else for me erplexed and she's expensive--after I do my touch-up, I'd see her for a trim and pay $50-60!! Just to cut the hair off *smh*)

So does anyone feel my pain? Does anyone have any advice that could calm my nerves? I'd love to get a stylist that understands my fears and doesn't shave me bald (I had a nightmare that happened once)...OR should I just suck it up and continue to do what I've been doing--giving my hair the best TLC it's had in a long while. I am in the process of reaching SL sometime this yr and in the middle of my first ever 12 wk stretch (I'm @ wk 8--the make it or break it period) and would one day like to reach MBL, so I just wonder if I can really do it by myself, or do I *need* a stylist as it gets longer...

I hope what I am asking makes sense...I feel really troubled right now.

TIA

I don't think you need a stylist, but it sounds as if you are concerned about being overwhelmed with styling your own hair. You don't NEED a stylist. Stylists subscribe to a lot of myths that aren't true, rush, run out of products, and do whatever they can to save money. I thought a good stylist would be the answer to all my problems too, but stylists should only be used for styling not for hair care. If you decide to go, bring your own products, a list of do's and don'ts, and tip well.

 

[Artemis]

hey art, i feel your pain, i really do. But it's simple, if the only reason why u want to see a stylist is because you get lazy er now n then...then just go to her ONLY for a rollerset or your style preference. You SHOULD NOT ever let a new stylist cut/trim your hair. You should have a relationship with her and make sure she proves to be considerate of your wishes as well as the clients she has. Just do rollersets for a few months..u will evenually see a client that asks for a trim, then u can see how she handles that. and also i WOULD NOT pay no $50 just for a trim. Are you kidding me? that lady surely ripped you off. i mean what was so special about it??? did she hold inkpen sized clumps of strands and singlely trim away each split end? Or did she just brush all your hair to the back and snip off the uneven bits, like most stylists do? girl u should be doing that yourself...its not hard to do at all and that way u can have peace of mind. the only reason i would get a trim is if i had a particular hairstyle or layers that need special attention. shooooot.

Gosh, I really love this site; there are so many insightful and level headed women here

Dude, I was totally paying for the salon name!! (Toni & Guy) Literally, all she would do is flat iron it and cut it for $55...And she trimmed, but cut *special* layers into the hair, from which I am still recovering. It looked good then, but you have to get it trimmed regularly to grow it out in the same style My ends look raggedy even though they really aren't up close--b/c of the layers...Never again, esp. since an LHCF-er is a stylist down the street from my job if I ever decide to pay someone to trim me (*waves @ Balisi*)...

I don't think you need a stylist, but it sounds as if you are concerned about being overwhelmed with styling your own hair.

You're exactly right. I was not raised to feel very confident about being the only one caring for my hair. It's been a major hang up in my journey. I just need to work through that and keep it moving. So many folks that don't understand may say "Dang, it's just hair", but it's not, y'know. There's psychology involved and self-sustenance and self-esteem involved...but that's another thread ...

Thanks ladies

 

[Mook's hair]

I gotta agree too. Don't do it. And that whole 2 heads are better than one thing doesn't apply here. It sounds like you've been doing a good job. And I looked at your album too. Your progress is going very well.


If you are feeling salon apprehension then stay away That's a sure sign that something will go wrong. You love your hair more than someone else. Just give it the dedication and attention it needs and you will find success.

-God Bless.

 

[Artemis]

I gotta agree too. Don't do it. And that whole 2 heads are better than one thing doesn't apply here. It sounds like you've been doing a good job. And I looked at your album too. Your progress is going very well.


If you are feeling salon apprehension then stay away That's a sure sign that something will go wrong. You love your hair more than someone else. Just give it the dedication and attention it needs and you will find success.

-God Bless.

Thank you very much for your feedback. I think the new growth and stretching has been getting to me. But I'm ok. I'll get through it.

You are so right--every time I have gone to a salon, whatever you could think of that could go wrong would go wrong...So I'm much better off doing it myself I've been getting compliments on how thick my hair has gotten in such a short time, so maybe what I'm doing is best for me.

I've decided that long extensive stretching isn't for me, so I'll prolly be updating the fotki after my touch-up next week (wk 10)...Stay tuned, ladies

Thanks again

 

[Jas123]

DON'T DO IT!!!



unless you just really really need to

my sentiments exactly