Stuck at Shoulder Length-feel like screaming

[Leahelizabth]

ok- to be fair, I am struggling building a regimine. I haven't found products my hair likes, I've tried:
•Henna w/ yogurt and honey-works
•Aphogee 2 step reconstructor-tried it once and liked it, but I've heard it can't be used too often
•Shea butter-my skin Loves it, my hair, not so much
•Co-washing-feels terrific in the wash, but after I rinse I'm left with tangled dry hair I can only manage by blow drying

I can air dry to curly hair in the summer, but after relocating to Michigan I have to admit defeat to this WINTER!
After I blowdry I flat iron my hair, usually every 2-3 weeks. I don't use product on my hair once it is washed, I don't know how to moisturize my hair once it is dried and straightened. I self relax , stretching 4-6 weeks. I haven't clarified my hair, but am thinking about adding 1 tsp. of baking soda to my co-wash. Thats about it, thanks for bearing with me, I need help!!

 

[Leahelizabth]

help? Anyone?

 

[JustKiya]

Okay - to start, I'm not relaxed, but I think I can offer some advice - at least as far as techinque goes.

Shoulder-length is the deadly length, where if you aren't REALLY careful with your ends, you will lose every millimeter that you grow. Are you wearing protective styles?

Am I to understand that you are relaxing every 4-6 weeks? As far as I understand, that isn't really much of a stretch - you would only have 1/4 - 1/2 inch of new growth assuming your hair grows at the average rate - and if it grows faster than average - you should definitely be past shoulder length. How are you protecting your ends when you relax?

And the stuff that you've listed that works - it's all protien type treatments....

And you also don't use a leave-in? Wow - I would suspect, with all the protien, and the heat (you blowdry your hair every time you co-wash? How often are you co-washing?), and the lack of any moisture - your hair is breaking off at the ends as soon as it touches - anything.

I don't have any product suggestions (I'm sure one of the relaxed ladies will chime in) but - yeah.... your hair sounds REALLY dry.

 

[scribblescrabble2]

Hi, I have no advice to add except a link to this thread:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=126770&highlight=baggying+support

I have been stuck at shoulder length for a while now, so I know how you feel.

 

[Traycee]

I know u r frustrated because you are stuck at shoulder length ...but don't give up.....Your hair is growing you just need to learn how to retain your length......Because you are relaxed you should be using a moisturizing shampoo....and a moisturizing conditioner...My favorite is Nexxus Therappe shampoo, Nexxus Humectress conditioner and a leave- in conditioner is a must!!!! You should deep condition at least once a week.....What has help me retain length is

• protective styling and braid-outs because I don't have to use heat
• deep conditioning every wash
• pre pooing
• moisturizing and sealing every night and cover with satin or silk scarf

( lately I have been moisturizing with 100% pure Aloe Vera Gel and sealing with coconut oil) hair is so soft

• Coconut oil has really been a life saver for me

When u can't air dry use a bonnet dryer....It's better than direct heat..and when you do use heat you should be using a heat protector

You'll be fine............

 

[poookie]

oh my
no wonder your hair is so hard to deal with... you don't put any product on it after washing!

i co wash every other day, and here's what i do (i'm relaxed by the way):
- after i get out of the shower with wet hair, i use a towel and pat away some of the excess water
- then i use a spray leave-in conditioner. the one i use now has protein.
- then i put my leave-in conditioner. this can be ANY kind of creamy conditioner, or anything specifically designated as a leave-in conditioner. right now i use either garnier fructis curl & shine or my regular conditioner. the key is to just use a nickel sized amount, and don't put it on your scalp.

and to help with detangling even more, i'll use a smoothing serum. paul mitchell has a great one (super skinny), and chi silk infusion works wonders.

the key here is the order you put on the products. more product will absorb into your hair when there's less water, so using a towel to blot away (not rub!) the extra water helps. also, apply your leave-in conditioner before the serum, because many serums contain silicones that coat the shaft, and moisture can't reach the hair shaft when it's covered.

now after you've blown-dry your hair, and you want to moisturize your hair during the week, either use some more of that leave-in conditioner (still use a tiny amount so you don't weigh your hair down), or use a bit of any moisturizing conditioner. on dry hair it's a good idea to seal in the moisture, so use an oil (coconut oil = very light, and adds a lot of shine; castor oil is a bit sticker but it's great on the ends of the hair) or a serum.

i hope that helped a bit!