Struggling With Faith

[Southern Belle]

Hey Sistas in Christ,

This will be kind of long, so I apologize in advance.

Earlier this year, I lost my daughter. Not only did I lose her, it was a long, drawn out process. Last December (almost one year to the day), I was 3 and a half months pregnant. So I went to the doctor for a routine appointment, and the doctor accidentally broke my water. I knew it immediately. He tried to tell me my water didn't break, but my clothes were SOAKED. I refused to leave until he did an ultrasound. My worst fears were confirmed. There was in fact ZERO fluid around the baby.

The whole OB department came in to talk to me, but I was in complete and total shock. To make matters worst, my family is thousands of miles away and my husband was in Iraq. They immediately admitted me to the hospital, and said my body would naturally go into labor within 24 - 48 hours and I would miscarry. Well I didn't. Not only did I not go into labor, her heart continued to beat (we found out this was our much wanted princess - we have 3 boys). They said she had ZERO chance of surviving because babies need that fluid to grow and thrive. They advised me to terminate the pregnancy. I said absolutely not.

Yall, I BEGGED AND PLEADED with God to just go ahead and take her, because I could NEVER bring harm to a child he placed in my womb - under ANY circumstances. I just couldn't do it. But I remained pregnant - week after week, I'd go in for a checkup praying that she passed on peacefully in my womb so they could take her, but nope - her heart continued to beat for 20 more WEEKS!

My doctors were soooo worried about me, and what continuing the pregnancy would do to me mentally. They didn't understand how or why I would carry a pregnancy to term, when the baby was FOR SURE going to die. I can't explain it, but it just wasn't an option for me. People say you learn alot about yourself when placed in an impossible situation. I found this to be true. My personal feelings about terminating a pregnancy weren't just "in theory" anymore.

I went into labor with her @ 33 weeks, and she lived for 2 days in the NICU before her little body couldn't fight anymore. It is the LOWEST I have ever been in my LIFE.

I still cannot understand why the compassionate, merciful God that I served would let me go through HELL ON EARTH, when the end result was going to be the same - my daughter would die.

Even after I begged, even after I trusted in His wisdom by NOT terminating the pregnancy like everybody told me to. I could have saved myself MONTHS of heartache, stress, and pain. After awhile, I started believing he would spare my daughter. Wouldn't THAT be a testimony!

I still say I believe in God, but it's only in defiance of being dead wrong about trusting Him in the first place. Nobody wants to admit that their faith and trust in somebody/something was misplaced.

And now when I try to pray, I feel a little silly. There's always this small voice saying "are you CRAZY?! Why did you ever think there was someone "up there" looking out for your best interest to begin with?"

I wish I could go back to believing. But HOW do I do that when there's no evidence to suggest anyone was ever looking out for me, but plenty of evidence (from my viewpoint) that there's no one there at all?

 

[Poohbear]

Wow! I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain...spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I have not had anything like this happen to me, but I've had my fair share of questioning God about certain bad situations that have occurred in my life. I see that you did not want to abort your child because it's against God, and then when you actually give birth to the child, she only lives for 2 days. Whatever you do, do not be angry at God. Yes, he is a sovereign God and everything happens because he is in control, but do not blame this evil on God. This experience happened for a purpose that no one knows. And do not let anyone try to tell you why this happened because that will do more harm than good.

As people who follow God, we may become Satan's special targets. We as believers may have to endure hardship, persecution, or testing and we must be prepared for the worse. Satan wants us to lose faith. Consistent faith is what defeats Satan, no matter what bad things happen in our lives.

You should not give up on God just because this terrible thing happen. Faith in God does not guarantee personal prosperity, and lack of faith does not guarantee troubles in this life. If this were so, people would believe in God simply to get everything they want. God is capable of rescuing us from suffering, but he may also allow suffering to come for reasons we cannot understand. It is Satan’s strategy to get us to doubt God at exactly personal comfort. If we always know why we suffer, our faith will have no room to grow.

Trials and grief, whether temporary or enduring, do not destroy the real purpose of life. Life is not given merely for happiness and personal fulfillment, but for us to serve and honor God. The worth and meaning of life is not based on what we feel, but on the one reality no one can take away—God’s love for us. Don’t assume that because God truly loves you, he will always prevent suffering. The opposite may be true. God’s love cannot be measured or limited by how great or how little we may suffer.

Because we are locked into time, unable to see beyond today, we cannot know the reasons for everything that happens. Thus we must often choose between doubt and trust. Will you trust God with your unanswered questions? In our world invaded by sin, calamity and suffering may come in good and bad alike. This does not mean God is indifferent, uncaring, unjust, or powerless to protect us. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world, a world where both believers and unbelievers are hit with the tragic consequences of sin. God allows evil for a time, although he often turns it around for our good. We may have no answers as to why God allows evil, but we can be sure he is all-powerful and knows what he is doing.

The next time you face trials and dilemmas, see them as opportunities to turn to God for strength. You will find a God who only desires to show his love and compassion to you. If you can trust him in pain, confusion, and loneliness, you will win the victory and eliminate doubt, one of Satan’s greatest footholds in your life. If God is your foundation, you can never be separated from his love.

I hope that helps. May God bless your life and keep you. Stay strong and keep the faith regardless of that little silly voice that you are hearing when you pray. Continue to pray without ceasing. Take care.

 

[Mrs.TheBronx]

Romans 8:35-39 (New Living Translation)



35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Peter 5:8-11 (New Living Translation)



8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters[a] all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen.


Ephesians 6:10-18 (Amplified Bible)


10In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].
11Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.
12For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.
13Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].
14Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God,
15And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.(A)
16Lift up over all the [covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].
17And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God. 18Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).



READ Job..

 

[deesquest]

Southern Belle, my heartrs hurts for you because you truly have experienced a great loss which is difficult. Loss of a child is a grief that can seem to be unbearable and may even not seem to make sense. Sometimes the trials and test we have don't make sense to us, but God really does have a reason-sometimes unknown to us. Why would God allow us to have such hurt, sorrow and grief? I believe He has his reasons for what he allows, but we have difficulty because he doesn't reveal this to us. The Christian life is a life of faith. Hebrews tells us faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. You were hoping for your daughter to live, but God made a decision that neither you nor I can understand. That is your challenge. You must not allow your tragedy to steal away your faith in God.

Sometimes God steps back to see how we will stand in test. Examples in the word. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only long awaited son. Don't you know that Abraham struggled with this, it didn't make sense at first. But he submitted to God's will, and Issac submitted also by allowing Abraham to place him on the altar. God stopped Abraham at the last momemt. It was a test of faith. God allowed the death of David and Bathesheba's son. Why? David grieved much over this death, yet he accepted God's will. God allowed HIS son to come to Earth and give his life for a lost and wicked world. He knew upon the birth of Jesus that he would die-and suffer at the hands of cruel men. Yet he didn't hold him back as his gift to the world. Don't you know God looked down in grief and sorrow as his only son died on the cross. God also has experienced the loss of a child. He knows what you feel. Mary, the mother of Jesus loved her son and saw him beaten, suffering, and dying. Don't you know she was hurting and questioning? There are many examples of unexplained death in the Bible: all the disciples with the exception of John the Revelator were persecuted and died. Paul and Peter especially knew they were going to die. Do you think that perhaps they pleaded with God to allow them to live? Sure they did, they were human-yet they excepted God's will in this matter. Jesus as he was dying asked God to take away this cup, but he said nevertheless, your will Lord!! Praise God for his sacrifice.

What you are experiencing has been one of my fears-loss of a child. My mama lost three of her children. I saw her pain-but still she never regreted their temporary loan to her by God. I know a woman who was pregnant and the baby died in her womb, the doctors thought she miscarried. But she has xrays that show the child is mummified in her womb. Why did God allow it? She tells her story with joy. All souls belong to God, not to us. He chooses us as their parent-we really don't have any say in the matter. Your choice not to abort was the right decision and God gave her to you for a reason-she is waiting on the other side. Keep your faith so one day you can walk into heaven and see that blessed little face! There's a reason right there to want to go to heaven. She's waiting!! Your pain will become more bearable as time passes, don't allow the enemy to steal your faith. In the meantime grieve-its normal. But remember, the Christian life is a walk of faith and faith does not mean we always understand God's reasons, but we can come to the place where we can accept his will. I will ernestly pray for you.

 

[loolalooh]

When I first read your story, I thought perhaps the devil knew that that final step was exactly what was necessary to break your faith in God. You continued believing and hoping and the devil was frustrated and pulled that final straw. Now I could be TOTALLY wrong, but one thing I know is that God IS looking out for you. Just because He doesn't prevent us from ALL pain does not mean that He is not there. God honestly loves you.

I am really, really sorry to hear about your situation. I cannot say that I can relate completely, but I've been in situations where I've severely SEVERELY questioned my faith. I agree with the words that have been given and I'll add the following:

During this time it is very important to read God's Word faithfully and daily. It'll be hard at first, but as the days go by, you will begin to hear God speak to you. I can say this. It was largely through that ... through filling myself with His word ... that I began to understand why certain things had happened in my life and I began to feel close to Him again. You see, the devil likes to convince us that God is not there, etc. ... but once you force yourself to really delve into the bible, the devil cannot touch your mind as much anymore. God begins to speak to you.

I also find that fasting and serious prayer helps at this time. Surrounding yourself with a church community does wonders too. Find someone strong in faith to pray for you as well. That helped me too.

Know that God loves you and IS with you.

 

[Southern Belle]

When I first read your story, I thought perhaps the devil knew that that final step was exactly what was necessary to break your faith in God. You continued believing and hoping and the devil was frustrated and pulled that final straw. Now I could be TOTALLY wrong, but one thing I know is that God IS looking out for you. Just because He doesn't prevent us from ALL pain does not mean that He is not there. God honestly loves you.

I am really, really sorry to hear about your situation. I cannot say that I can relate completely, but I've been in situations where I've severely SEVERELY questioned my faith. I agree with the words that have been given and I'll add the following:

During this time it is very important to read God's Word faithfully and daily. It'll be hard at first, but as the days go by, you will begin to hear God speak to you. I can say this. It was largely through that ... through filling myself with His word ... that I began to understand why certain things had happened in my life and I began to feel close to Him again. You see, the devil likes to convince us that God is not there, etc. ... but once you force yourself to really delve into the bible, the devil cannot touch your mind as much anymore. God begins to speak to you.

I also find that fasting and serious prayer helps at this time. Surrounding yourself with a church community does wonders too. Find someone strong in faith to pray for you as well. That helped me too.

Know that God loves you and IS with you.

It's interesting you should say that. When I was talking to my pastor, I said "if God is all knowing and all powerful - he HAD to have known this would 'finish' us. That means He already KNEW I was gonna be DONE with Him..."

You have taken the crux of what I was/am feeling and shed a different light on it. I was thinking of it in terms of "how long was God gonna allow me to free-fall before He intervenes" and not "how low the devil was willing to go to break my faith". I know it sounds ridiculous, but that logic never occured to me. Thank you.

It always seems like just when I've committed myself to believing there is no God - something like this happens, and I say "what if I'm wrong? "

Since this happened, I can't tell yall how many times random strangers have come along and answered questions that were weighing heavy on my mind (when I hadn't even voiced what I was struggling with).

 

[Southern Belle]

Southern Belle, my heartrs hurts for you because you truly have experienced a great loss which is difficult. Loss of a child is a grief that can seem to be unbearable and may even not seem to make sense. Sometimes the trials and test we have don't make sense to us, but God really does have a reason-sometimes unknown to us. Why would God allow us to have such hurt, sorrow and grief? I believe He has his reasons for what he allows, but we have difficulty because he doesn't reveal this to us. The Christian life is a life of faith. Hebrews tells us faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. You were hoping for your daughter to live, but God made a decision that neither you nor I can understand. That is your challenge. You must not allow your tragedy to steal away your faith in God.

Sometimes God steps back to see how we will stand in test. Examples in the word. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only long awaited son. Don't you know that Abraham struggled with this, it didn't make sense at first. But he submitted to God's will, and Issac submitted also by allowing Abraham to place him on the altar. God stopped Abraham at the last momemt. It was a test of faith. God allowed the death of David and Bathesheba's son. Why? David grieved much over this death, yet he accepted God's will. God allowed HIS son to come to Earth and give his life for a lost and wicked world. He knew upon the birth of Jesus that he would die-and suffer at the hands of cruel men. Yet he didn't hold him back as his gift to the world. Don't you know God looked down in grief and sorrow as his only son died on the cross. God also has experienced the loss of a child. He knows what you feel. Mary, the mother of Jesus loved her son and saw him beaten, suffering, and dying. Don't you know she was hurting and questioning? There are many examples of unexplained death in the Bible: all the disciples with the exception of John the Revelator were persecuted and died. Paul and Peter especially knew they were going to die. Do you think that perhaps they pleaded with God to allow them to live? Sure they did, they were human-yet they excepted God's will in this matter. Jesus as he was dying asked God to take away this cup, but he said nevertheless, your will Lord!! Praise God for his sacrifice.

What you are experiencing has been one of my fears-loss of a child. My mama lost three of her children. I saw her pain-but still she never regreted their temporary loan to her by God. I know a woman who was pregnant and the baby died in her womb, the doctors thought she miscarried. But she has xrays that show the child is mummified in her womb. Why did God allow it? She tells her story with joy. All souls belong to God, not to us. He chooses us as their parent-we really don't have any say in the matter. Your choice not to abort was the right decision and God gave her to you for a reason-she is waiting on the other side. Keep your faith so one day you can walk into heaven and see that blessed little face! There's a reason right there to want to go to heaven. She's waiting!! Your pain will become more bearable as time passes, don't allow the enemy to steal your faith. In the meantime grieve-its normal. But remember, the Christian life is a walk of faith and faith does not mean we always understand God's reasons, but we can come to the place where we can accept his will. I will ernestly pray for you.

And even when you KNOW all this, believe me - it's a whole different ballgame when it happens to you, personally. That's what I have a hard time communicating to people. I was one of those people that "always had a word" for people too, but I'm telling you - when it happens to YOU - it's different.

My godmama was trying to "preach" to me (and I love her to death - but that is NOT what a grieving parent needs at that moment), I flat out told her "everything you say right now - is all in theory. It's easy to say what you'd do when you haven't had to actually DO it. And I get it, cause hey, truth be told, I was one of those people too. But you have NO idea what you're talking about..."

I told her I still loved her, but she couldn't help me right now - and I'm okay with that.

 

[Southern Belle]

Wow! I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain...spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I have not had anything like this happen to me, but I've had my fair share of questioning God about certain bad situations that have occurred in my life. I see that you did not want to abort your child because it's against God, and then when you actually give birth to the child, she only lives for 2 days. Whatever you do, do not be angry at God. Yes, he is a sovereign God and everything happens because he is in control, but do not blame this evil on God. This experience happened for a purpose that no one knows. And do not let anyone try to tell you why this happened because that will do more harm than good.

As people who follow God, we may become Satan's special targets. We as believers may have to endure hardship, persecution, or testing and we must be prepared for the worse. Satan wants us to lose faith. Consistent faith is what defeats Satan, no matter what bad things happen in our lives.

You should not give up on God just because this terrible thing happen. Faith in God does not guarantee personal prosperity, and lack of faith does not guarantee troubles in this life. If this were so, people would believe in God simply to get everything they want. God is capable of rescuing us from suffering, but he may also allow suffering to come for reasons we cannot understand. It is Satan’s strategy to get us to doubt God at exactly personal comfort. If we always know why we suffer, our faith will have no room to grow.

Trials and grief, whether temporary or enduring, do not destroy the real purpose of life. Life is not given merely for happiness and personal fulfillment, but for us to serve and honor God. The worth and meaning of life is not based on what we feel, but on the one reality no one can take away—God’s love for us. Don’t assume that because God truly loves you, he will always prevent suffering. The opposite may be true. God’s love cannot be measured or limited by how great or how little we may suffer.

Because we are locked into time, unable to see beyond today, we cannot know the reasons for everything that happens. Thus we must often choose between doubt and trust. Will you trust God with your unanswered questions? In our world invaded by sin, calamity and suffering may come in good and bad alike. This does not mean God is indifferent, uncaring, unjust, or powerless to protect us. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world, a world where both believers and unbelievers are hit with the tragic consequences of sin. God allows evil for a time, although he often turns it around for our good. We may have no answers as to why God allows evil, but we can be sure he is all-powerful and knows what he is doing.

The next time you face trials and dilemmas, see them as opportunities to turn to God for strength. You will find a God who only desires to show his love and compassion to you. If you can trust him in pain, confusion, and loneliness, you will win the victory and eliminate doubt, one of Satan’s greatest footholds in your life. If God is your foundation, you can never be separated from his love.

I hope that helps. May God bless your life and keep you. Stay strong and keep the faith regardless of that little silly voice that you are hearing when you pray. Continue to pray without ceasing. Take care.

Thank you sooo much Poohbear. I'm going to print this and read it over and over. Are you in ministry? If not, you SHOULD be.

 

[Southern Belle]

Romans 8:35-39 (New Living Translation)



35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Peter 5:8-11 (New Living Translation)



8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters[a] all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen.


Ephesians 6:10-18 (Amplified Bible)


10In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].
11Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.
12For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.
13Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].
14Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God,
15And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.(A)
16Lift up over all the [covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].
17And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God. 18Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people).



READ Job..

Thank you for these scriptures, sis. And girl, I can almost recite the book of Job BY HEART. I wish it were that simple for me. I was even giving God the side eye while reading THAT. Like "really? You let your most DEVOTED servant get torn to shreds on because of a wager between you and the devil? Really?"

 

[Southern Belle]

I really want to thank each and every one of you for reaching out and saying SOMETHING. I realize most people don't know what to say, but the last thing we want is for people to shy away from the topic.

I met a really good friend here on LHCF. She lost her son (a toddler) a month before I lost my daughter. We are such a huge source of support for each other. We can just pick up the phone - and the other person "gets it". There's no need to explain ourselves to each other. When we talk about our children, her faith is sooooo strong! I wish I could be that way yall. I want to go back to that blind faith, but I CAN'T. I am soooo jaded and bitter. And I feel guilty like I'm failing God.

 

[Mis007]

Job 1:21 (New International Version)

21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [a]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

 

[dicapr]

I am sorry for your lost. Your feelings of abandonment and questioning your faith are normal. I wish I had the notes to a sermon one of my former pastors preached about when God says no. He had lost his wife in an auto accident leaving him to raise his two young sons alone. He echoed your sentament that the normal "comforts" given by christians to one another often fell short of the comfort he needed. His was left broken and questioning. What he wanted us to remember is that God is big enough to deal with our hurt. God is big enough to deal with our anger, pain, disapointment, and questions. We know how we are supposed to react when enduring trials. When we are unable to react in the way we are supposed to we feel something is wrong. The truth is that God knows how we feel . Trying not to hurt Gods feelings by not communicating our hurt and anger further drives a wedge between us and him. Please tell God how you really feel-he already knows of your doubts anyway. The pastor said until he was honest with God he was unable to heal. Please remember that God restores his people. Your daughter will be restored to you in heaven. The pastor once asked why Job didn't have twice as many children when everything else was restored 2 fold. The simple answer was that his children were not lost to him and would be restored in heaven. It was the second set that were the increase 2 fold.

 

[Poohbear]

Thank you sooo much Poohbear. I'm going to print this and read it over and over. Are you in ministry? If not, you SHOULD be.

You're welcome. I teach the youth at my church for Sunday school and Wednesday night, but I'm not a preacher or anything.

 

[Avyn]

I soooooo understand where you are. I have recently gone through a belief crisis and I went to God with my questions. A few months ago I went to God and told Him that I was going to walk away from the faith. I told Him that if my questions weren't answered that I could not continue to believe in His sovereignty. He began to answer my questions, and still is. I am coming to understand Him more and more each day. I was afraid to ask too many questions of religious leaders because I kept getting a bunch of religious answers that really didn't answer my concerns. When God began to answer I was satisfied with the answers and the answers calmed my heart. To others the simplest answer may have seemed insignificant, but to me the smallest light led/is leading me step by step back to faith in Him. I was completely open and honest with God about everything I was feeling and He heard me. It seemed like I did not get my answers when I wanted and with each day I was walking further and further from God and more angry with Him for allowing me to be in the situation I was in. He will answer you fully. He understands where you are and what it will take to renew your faith. I am sure of it. I like the Psalms. David was a question asker and held God accountable to His word and promises.

 

[Uber]

I have not read the rest of the thread yet but i have experienced a loss in faith. And apparently many people do when they lose something especially when they felt it had come from God such as loved one, a job.


I experienced a career set back in my life caused from when I was in the world. When I finally got the job of my dreams things went wrong and I had to leave.

i didn't even get sacked but I felt as though God should have controlled the situation enough so i did not have to leave. I lost my faith even though I still believed in God. I just wasn't sure my dreams could come true anymore. It was as if everything I had faith in had just slipped away. The one thing that kept me strong was I knew that without God there was no life.

I was also strengthened in the knowledge that in order for my faith to increase I would need to experience a challenge in my faith. I didn't try by my own strength to be convinced I just let God do a work in me.

Now God has given me a greater convinction in certain things. Various thoughts still come into my mind to make me doubt God but I rebuke them.


What I am trying to say is don't worry about it too much. Most of us experience a waiver in our faith at some point or another. The main thing is that you still believe in Him and rely on Him and the best place to be is on your knees talking to God about it.

Just remember that Many are called and few are chosen. If God has chosen you He will not change his mind. He'll take you to where he has promised,

Let every challenge in our Christian life be a stepping stone in our faith


Also, find a book on faith that should help


Without Faith its impossible to please God!!