Still havent learned anything

[liveyourdreams]

Sorry to sound depressing but i have been on this forum for over a year and my hair has grown but i still have no clue about big protein, light protein, acv's, drying my hair in a pony tail after i wash it, all kinds of stuff that just has me plain ole' frustrated. i went ahead and relaxed my hair myself after basing my scalp with castor oil (which i read was a good base to use) and i now have a head of underprocessed hair. i mean i can retain some hair but i found that my hair has been looking better as a result of my stylist than me.

did you ladies read books as a prerec or something? did you do trial and error? did you just cut your hair off and start over? or did you learn everything form this forum? my sister has bra strap hair and all she does is go to her stylist. maybe i should do the same?

all responses welcome.

 

[hopeful]

Don't feel bad. I'm natural and for some reason I am not overwhelmed at all about what I need to do to keep it healthy but when I was relaxed I was like, no matter what I just didn't really get what to do. Still don't understand how people don't overlap relaxers, don't understand what 80% percent processed means (lol I'm like how can you tell?), when to use protein, how people stretch for weeks on end. So don't feel bad.

 

[MzTami]

I've been a member for almost a year and the information is overwhelming. I just follow the basic steps of washing, conditioning, leave-in conditioner, moisture, and protect ends.

If you are having better success with your stylist doing your hair than let her/him do your relaxers and do your own maintenance.

Good Luck to you!

 

[Angelicus]

Maybe you can stop listening to others and just listen to your hair. For me, this board has been awesome and I haven't had hair this long since childhood.

Who cares if your hair doesn't respond to this stuff on the board. What matters is if your hair is healthy.

Please don't be frustrated over your efforts. Is your hair any longer than when you started? If so, rejoice over every extra millimeter that you have. If not, just try again.

 

[LovelyLionessa]

A lot of it is trial and error. Some of the methods I have read about on hair boards I have never tried. The styling option that I am now returning to and find that works best for me is twistouts and I was doing those before hairboards. I've learned that my hair isn't a huge fan of protein when I'd OD on it and it would break. Some of my favorite products I got turned on to from the boards while other items I found on my own.

So it is a combination of things, what you already know works best for you and a discovery of new ideas, products and techniques from the hairboards.

 

[FineChyna]

i've been here awhile too and i don't think i am where should be at per se but i can attest my hair is A LOT better off than it was 4 years ago. i learned the simpliest method is the best method and i also realized that searching for specfic terms and product reviews has made the process of learning easier. so maybe try one thing at a time instead of overwhelming yourself with all the details

 

[Kimberly]

Sorry to sound depressing but i have been on this forum for over a year and my hair has grown but i still have no clue about big protein, light protein, acv's, drying my hair in a pony tail after i wash it, all kinds of stuff that just has me plain ole' frustrated. i went ahead and relaxed my hair myself after basing my scalp with castor oil (which i read was a good base to use) and i now have a head of underprocessed hair. i mean i can retain some hair but i found that my hair has been looking better as a result of my stylist than me. .

Girl, I've been the same kind of depressed and I've been here for about three years. I'm still pretty cluless as to what to do. I am constatnly underprocessing my hair (although, this last time turned out pretty good, finally!). I don't know which proteins are which. The one time I tried an ACV, my hair hated it and ended up a tangle knotted mess I get confused over which types of oils to use and vitamins to take and what each are supposed to be good for.

did you ladies read books as a prerec or something? did you do trial and error? did you just cut your hair off and start over? or did you learn everything form this forum? my sister has bra strap hair and all she does is go to her stylist. maybe i should do the same?

all responses welcome.

I did read Cathy Howse's book around the same time that I found LHCF. Common sense in need of spell/grammar check and editing. You can find the same information here and get live feedback when you have a question.

I'm learning through trial and error because, I have learned, my hair is unique from anyone else's on the board.

No, I never cut my hair off to start over and maybe I should have but I was sure that the damage or whatever could be trimmed off gradually. I guess it would depend on the degree of your hair problem as to whether you should cut it off and start over.

Stylists absolutely work for some people. I found one, finally, that I go to for styles for special occasions who confirmed that I do not need to cut all of my hair off but, rather, trim it gradually. If you would feel better going to a stylist, then you should go. Feeling good about your hair will do wonders for it.

What I really would like to say is that a positive attitude is the best thing we can do for our hair. Whatever you do, do it for yourself and the health of your hair and the length will come. I struggle with my own hair demons daily so I have an idea what you are talking about.

I'm sorry to ramble on your thread. I just hate to get depressed about my hair and I feel it when my LHCF sisters are going through the same thing. You're going to be okay.

 

[macherieamour]

Dont fret, you've prob made a lot of progress but you just cant see it. You deal with your hair day in and day out so its hard to see change.

Also, remembe that most of us havent even really gotten to know our hair in 10, 20, 30, 40 years. This is the first time conditioning, washing, or maintaining it ourselves. Its not like riding a bike. Your hair is complex, mysterious and has its own wants and needs. No two heads are the exact same. So it takes time to learn and know how to read it. It took me over a year!

What helped me was focusing on one goal at a time. I started with a 2 month deep conditioning challegne. I just deep conditioned the heck out of it. I had my stylist do my perms and trims. I found a conditioner I liked and ran with it. Then, I did styles. Airdried, bunned, braided and realized that I like rollersetting the best. So then, I did a rollersetting challegne. I focused on doing the perfect rollerset int he shortest amount of time. All through this process, I really learned my hair and now can anticipate what will and will not work for me.

So dont worry, these things take time. But dont try your patience and frustrate yourself by trying to "learn" too many things at once. It should be fun, therapeutic in a way We all been frustrated and discouraged but one day it will click and all the trial and error will be well worth it

 

[KhandiB]

I have learned alot but I have only adhered to like 1/16th of it
j/k

It initially drove my PJism, but honestly my hair hasnt been this long since I was at least 14 years old, and once I get it though my thick skull to do more protective styles and rollersets Imma be killa

 

[RabiaElaine]

I know exactly how you feel! I felt the same way for the first 2 years I was on the board. Part of it was my fault I wasn't consistent, I didn't always follow proper hair care. I would have to cut and trim because of various setbacks.

BUT........

A little over a year ago a light bulb went off and it all started to click little by little. First I learned how to stretch my relaxers (something I totally thought was impossible for me and my texture). Then other things started to click.. One major one for me is relying on me to do my hair NOT a hairdresser. My hair has never been better and it's GROWING longer and longer little by little. It may not be as fast as others but it's fine with me!

Check out my fotki, it pretty much shows my hair over the last year and a couple months (the period where things started clicking).

On other thing I would suggest is taking pictures. I never took them until last February. This has tremendously changed my perception of how my hair is progressing, if I didn't have these pics I wouldn't really see the how much better I'm doing now than back then.

Don't give up on your hair! It WILL get longer. This board has done tremendous things for me (especially once it all started to click).

 

[felicia]

after being her almost three years, i feel the same way. although my hair is a little healthy and i've learned a few things. i plan on just going back to what i used to wash every two weeks, hotoil treatment condition and blowdry. however, i'm going to incorporate the few things i've learned: protective styling, silk cap, mositure and vitamin.

 

[Southernbella.]

Dont fret, you've prob made a lot of progress but you just cant see it. You deal with your hair day in and day out so its hard to see change.

Also, remembe that most of us havent even really gotten to know our hair in 10, 20, 30, 40 years. This is the first time conditioning, washing, or maintaining it ourselves. Its not like riding a bike. Your hair is complex, mysterious and has its own wants and needs. No two heads are the exact same. So it takes time to learn and know how to read it. It took me over a year!

What helped me was focusing on one goal at a time. I started with a 2 month deep conditioning challegne. I just deep conditioned the heck out of it. I had my stylist do my perms and trims. I found a conditioner I liked and ran with it. Then, I did styles. Airdried, bunned, braided and realized that I like rollersetting the best. So then, I did a rollersetting challegne. I focused on doing the perfect rollerset int he shortest amount of time. All through this process, I really learned my hair and now can anticipate what will and will not work for me.

So dont worry, these things take time. But dont try your patience and frustrate yourself by trying to "learn" too many things at once. It should be fun, therapeutic in a way We all been frustrated and discouraged but one day it will click and all the trial and error will be well worth it

Great post!

Also, ask yourself some important questions. You want your hair to grow and be healthy, right? Hair never stops growing, so you have to figure out why you aren't retaining length. Are you using heat on your ends? Is your hair dry? Do you have breakage? Are you trimming a lot?

I asked myself all these things when I started and it helped me to figure out what would work for me and what wouldn't.

First, I figured out that my hair was dry. I started deep conditioning. I also realized relaxing too often was causing breakage. I started stretching. I also tried rollersetting and saw that my hair looked the best with that method. I tried Aphogee, thinking I needed protein, but quickly realized that it wasn't for me, and never did it again. I tried cowashing, and that worked.

You have to figure out where you are now, and where you want to be, then search for posts based on that. If not, you'll try everything you see and not get the results you want.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I've learned alot on this board and I still mess up. What I learn is what my limits are as far as my hair goes. At least you retained length, that is a big plus. I hope everything works out well for you.

 

[LiLi]

Sorry to sound depressing but i have been on this forum for over a year and my hair has grown but i still have no clue about big protein, light protein, acv's, drying my hair in a pony tail after i wash it, all kinds of stuff that just has me plain ole' frustrated. i went ahead and relaxed my hair myself after basing my scalp with castor oil (which i read was a good base to use) and i now have a head of underprocessed hair. i mean i can retain some hair but i found that my hair has been looking better as a result of my stylist than me.

did you ladies read books as a prerec or something? did you do trial and error? did you just cut your hair off and start over? or did you learn everything form this forum? my sister has bra strap hair and all she does is go to her stylist. maybe i should do the same?

all responses welcome.

Don't be down sweetie. You will get it ... trust me. Too me, it's all trial and error. Some things on here worked and some things set me back and I've been on here for over 3 years so just imagine the stuff that I've tried and used (in addition, I was on the old board for at least a year and another hair board for about 2 years). The thing that really did it for me was the Crown and Glory technique and frequent washing. The longest part of my hair is now 1" from my elbows (which is waist length for me) from me semi-following the regimen and frequent washing. Keep trying, you will get there.

Oh and the most important thing I feel contributed to my retained length is covering my hair every night (and I do mean EVERY NIGHT) with a silk scarf.

Just remember that it is harder to get your hair to look just like a stylist does it because she facing your hair and can really get to everything. Shooot ... my nieces hair be looking waaaay nicer than mine but that's because I am right on it and can really focus on each section without the awkwardness that I have when I try to do certain sections of my own hair.

Don't try to do everything that you hear popping on here. Do what works for you. The hardest thing is finding what works for you, but when you do, don't fight it by trying to jump on every newfound product, pill, etc. that is mentioned (trust me ... I have learned a BIG lesson from this).

I don't know everything about proteins and other things. I just "listen" to my hair. When it starts to feel a certain way, then I use the product that I know will help with it. You will get it ... it just takes a HUGE amount of patience and consistency.

You have retained length ... and that is what is important. Now just keep it up and, before you know it, you we will be reading a post from you that says "O.M.Gosh ... I'm almost at waist length!!!".

 

[tenderheaded]

Don't be discouraged - this is a journey, not a race As someone who has been professionally "balded", I learned the hard way that haircare is not a "one size fits all"! Get some ideas, try some stuff, have some fun. Believe me, you know a whole lot more than I did when I started, and I'm still learning

 

[MissYocairis]

Sorry to sound depressing but i have been on this forum for over a year and my hair has grown but i still have no clue about big protein, light protein, acv's, drying my hair in a pony tail after i wash it, all kinds of stuff that just has me plain ole' frustrated. i went ahead and relaxed my hair myself after basing my scalp with castor oil (which i read was a good base to use) and i now have a head of underprocessed hair. i mean i can retain some hair but i found that my hair has been looking better as a result of my stylist than me.

did you ladies read books as a prerec or something? did you do trial and error? did you just cut your hair off and start over? or did you learn everything form this forum? my sister has bra strap hair and all she does is go to her stylist. maybe i should do the same?

all responses welcome.

Hi LYD! I studied this forum and my hair improved dramatically as a result. I became obsessive almost about researching right here in the forum. I did searches. Read old posts. Created posts for questions I had. Joined challenges. I actively pursued better hair and I got it. I have bought all the hair books. Had them all before I joined LHCF. My hair didn't make any marked, noticeable, DRAMATIC change until I found LHCF.

Since then, I don't do salons, don't trust anyone else's opinion on hair including the books, and I bring all my questions here and either ask them or do research. I also visited Fotki's and pm'd my hair idols and asked about their regimens. Whenever I was feeling dismayed, I didn't go to a book or a salon, I came here and posted my frustrations and got support to keep going on.

The hair healing is here but you have to reach out for it. It will not come to you. I HTH.

 

[Sistaslick]

Don't feel bad at all! I think we all are still trying to figure out one thing or another. Something brought us here . . . and something is keeping us around. If we all knew it all-- the board would be so boring!