Steroids
- Thread starter Shawn
- Start date
MoniintheMiddle
Well-Known Member
Interesting question....I look forward to reading the responses.
I don't know anyone that uses steroids. But I know it can affect your personality. I love to follow wrestling, ie., Hulk Hogan, Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson and others. There was this one popular wrestler, Chris Benoit, who killed his young son, wife and then committed suicide. His actions was attributed to steroid use. This man was so kind and gentle even in the ring. Everybody who knew him was shocked and didn't see it coming. So yes, steroids can affect personality and cause the user to become violent.
Here's a news clip.
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1564953/20070717/index.jhtml
Here's a news clip.
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1564953/20070717/index.jhtml
Whimsy
Well-Known Member
YES!!!
In freshman year of college, i dated a kid who had recently started taking them for track.
He was the sweetest thing at first, and he got really moody with me and seriously awful with other people, even his coaches, it was wierd. He got a lil paranoid too, I feel like he may have had the jealousy/overbearing gene before he started the steroids and after he was seriously on them, it brought it out a lot. I mean a lot a lot. I got sick of it and broke it off and he went a lil bonkers. Oh, He stopped wanting to fool around too lol. Probably cuz his pecker didn't wanna stand up to peck!
In freshman year of college, i dated a kid who had recently started taking them for track.
He was the sweetest thing at first, and he got really moody with me and seriously awful with other people, even his coaches, it was wierd. He got a lil paranoid too, I feel like he may have had the jealousy/overbearing gene before he started the steroids and after he was seriously on them, it brought it out a lot. I mean a lot a lot. I got sick of it and broke it off and he went a lil bonkers. Oh, He stopped wanting to fool around too lol. Probably cuz his pecker didn't wanna stand up to peck!
IrisDaVirus
New Member
I had a buddy in college whose older brother was heavy into bodybuilding and using steroids. His demeanor was cool and funny as heck, but physically they took their toll on him big time. He lost his ability to keep an erection and he was always getting hurt thanks to carrying way too much muscle mass for his frame. The 'roids damaged another muscle too - his heart. It was so diseased he had to be put on the waiting list for a transplant in 2004. Sadly he didn't live to get a new heart.
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Well that's good. But keep an eye open in case there are other issues like moodiness, quick temper or other irrational behavior.
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
No, you're not wrong, because I am currently dating a guy who uses roids. He cycles himself on and off, and I can tell you from experience, he has mood swings which is currently aware of. Meaning, he has (I've seen) him go into rants about small things and then carrying them out throughout the day.
Sexually, sometimes, they can't "come", other times they stay hard, then go limp. Now, he's cycling himself off, and I see that sometimes it is a problem. I can tell a difference, sexually.
Sexually, sometimes, they can't "come", other times they stay hard, then go limp. Now, he's cycling himself off, and I see that sometimes it is a problem. I can tell a difference, sexually.
Shawn
Well-Known Member
The reason I concluded that my suspecting steroids was wrong is because, although I have experienced some angry and moody behavior at times, I have never experienced any occasion when achieving or retaining an erection has been problematic; nor have I noticed any decrease in his desire for intimacy. And in fact, all I've ever experienced is the exact opposite--frankly, as odd as it seems, even when he's been angry with me, his libido has been totally unaffected. I guess I was just reaching for some reason for what has, at times, seemed like irrational anger toward me--mostly for things that I haven't done and would never dream of doing.
Shawn
Well-Known Member
Yes, since he's looking for another chance, I've been racking my brain trying to understand what went wrong the last time. I thought I was loving and attentive and understanding; and everyone says it wasn't my fault. So it occurred to me that since he was athletic, steroids could have been part of the problem since his temperament was so uneven. But, of course, just asking him would be like asking, "Are you on drugs?"; and I can't bring myself to do that. I don't think that the responses I've seen so far in this thread are consistent with it being any sort of "roid rage" issue though. And I've never seen him taking them.
So far, since he has asked to reconcile, he's been nothing but sweet and attentive. I haven't committed to anything yet; I have asked him to be patient, and I believe he's doing his best to honor that request. I really want things to work, but I don't want to repeat the past. And, well, if it had been the problem, then discarding the steroids would have been a quick fix. He's still very involved in church activities and very remorseful. I want to forgive him.
but anyway I hope for your sake he IS truly reformed.
Shawn
Well-Known Member
^^^I know from my last thread that you don't favor or recommend reconciliation. But I'm being very cautious. He'll need to be more of a friend and treat me as more of an equal this time. If you knew how wonderful he was in most ways, you really would understand more. I can't really convey it here.
Arcadian
New Member
If he's on illegal gear, you may want to think twice about being with him. Steriods does indeed get a bad rap and most of whats out there is counterfeit anyway.
Counterfeit stuff has all kinds of stuff in there that he may or may not know about. A very good friend of my husbands is dead because of counterfeit roids. He was 36. That kid stayed paranoid.
The legal stuff (the kind where you actually get a dr's script) does not make people into monsters especially when its taken as directed (and those that get it legally don't want to risk having it taken away).
-A
Counterfeit stuff has all kinds of stuff in there that he may or may not know about. A very good friend of my husbands is dead because of counterfeit roids. He was 36. That kid stayed paranoid.
The legal stuff (the kind where you actually get a dr's script) does not make people into monsters especially when its taken as directed (and those that get it legally don't want to risk having it taken away).
-A
If you're uncomfortable talking to him about anything, that may be a warning sign. You and he need to be able to have open and honest communication so that issues don't build up and become major problems. He needs to give you honest answers to all your questions so that you can make the best decisions for you and your future.
While he's being sweet and attentive now, will he commit to staying this way if you two reconcile? I'm glad you want to forgive him, but he has to earn your forgiveness and regain your trust. How does he plan to do that? And, if you decide NOT to reconcile with him, will he respect your decision?
ETA - FYI, just b/c his libido is not affected, doesn't mean steroid use is not affecting his personality. Steroids can affect people differently.
While he's being sweet and attentive now, will he commit to staying this way if you two reconcile? I'm glad you want to forgive him, but he has to earn your forgiveness and regain your trust. How does he plan to do that? And, if you decide NOT to reconcile with him, will he respect your decision?
ETA - FYI, just b/c his libido is not affected, doesn't mean steroid use is not affecting his personality. Steroids can affect people differently.
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daydreem2876
carpe diem
OP based on your threads.... think "bi-polar"
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
There are other bodybuilding substances that bulk a man up but don't effect them sexually. I dated a guy who was taking that stuff and he got huge....and mean.
I haven't read the previous thread OP but if this guy is as troublesome as other people are portraying him, being sweet and attentive is part of the game....that's exactly how emotionally abusive people pull you into their stuff....I wish you well.
I haven't read the previous thread OP but if this guy is as troublesome as other people are portraying him, being sweet and attentive is part of the game....that's exactly how emotionally abusive people pull you into their stuff....I wish you well.
Shawn
Well-Known Member
Well, it has been long enough for me to forgive, but certainly not long enough for me to forget all of the threats, cursing out, and slapping around that I took the last time around. Even though he's being extremely sweet, I just really need to be sure that his temper is totally under control this time, before I even approach certain topics with him. And, yes, he understands that he doesn't have my commitment yet; when I remind him that I'm the same, he just keeps saying things like, "I hope you can forgive me. It'll be different this time, because I'm different." So I need to give it long enough to see whether he really is different before I commit to him. I am being very careful.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Shawn, unfortunately, I don't think you will see his true colors until you have made a commitment to him and are officially a couple again. Until then, I believe he will remain on his very best behavior. With that said, you seem determined to give him another chance. I don't know you but it's hard to see a young woman walking back into this type of situation. If you were my daughter or sister or friend I would be sick over this. I think deep down you know how dangerous this is and know that you can forgive without ever putting yourself in harm's way again. I wish you were as determined to have peace and safety as you are to give this abusive relationship another try. I won't post anything else about this because I don't want to disrupt your thread and you are a grown woman who has a right to live her life as she chooses. I just had to speak my peace.
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Mrs. N Lugo
New Member
Based on what you wrote ^^^ please stay away from him. I don't believe men like that change. Why take the risk? Everything you wrote about him is a text book abuser.
You are better than that and you can do much better. Please don't let him weasel his way back into your life.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
I highlighted the key word there. You know both sides of this man, and yet you still want in. We can only tell you to BE SAFE and have an EXIT STRATEGY worked out the minute you see that he is 'acting up'.
Stop trying to convince yourself that he's changed for the better until he starts to prove it.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with time. It has to do with you being 100% certain that he will not repeat past violent behaviors, whether physical or verbal. His present good behavior is no guarantee that he has reformed because he has not been put to the test. You are not having serious conversations with him. What happens when you do? How will he react?
You are being very careful - careful not to say or discuss anything that might trigger him. This will not work. He was an angry man before he met you. His anger is not about you. So you can't control his behavior, only he can. This man needs serious psychological help which he's not getting. YOU CAN NOT FIX THIS.
Each post you have written (in both threads) has only heightened my concern for you. You want to resume this relationship so badly that you are overlooking the obvious and interpreting his comments and actions to support your agenda.
If he won't go to counseling, then how about you? So that you can better understand and support him and yourself. There are organizations out there that educate and offer resources to women in abusive relationships.
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