Spinoff: Women in Career/Ministry and Overshadowing in Marriage

[PaperClip]

Sooo.... here's my inquiry:

Here are these two women in ministry (Juanita Bynum and Paula White) going through some very challenging times. One speculation is that the cause(s) for these challenging situations is because these two women OVERSHADOWED their husbands in terms of success in the public eye....

Is it impossible to have a fulfilling career along with a healthy and successful marriage and family?

I'm well aware of the role of the woman in the household and how the man is to be the head of the household, priest of the home. I have seen this in action in my home with my parents as well as my spiritual parents. I'll even go as far to speculate (IMHO) that my spiritual mom (pastor's wife) could do even more in ministry (preaching, traveling, etc.) with the support of her husband, but she seems to make choices that allows her to remain in the shadows of her husband. She does minister and she does a lot, but I know she could do more...but she's made the conscious choice that marriage and family come before any church ministry per se, which is the wise way to go because a wife and mother's first ministry is to her family.... She's one of the most humble women I know on the planet....

I'm curious as to how to think about this.... How to prepare myself 'cause I know I'm supposed to do great things. Also, one of the parts of my prayer/profession of faith is that the Lord's plan for my marriage is that my husband has a ministry/career/profession that I FIT IN...that I'm compatible to.... I ask this because I am sure that my husband has an ESTABLISHED career/profession/ministry as I am beyond the "traditional" marriage age....

Your thoughts?

 

[Shimmie]

Sooo.... here's my inquiry:

Here are these two women in ministry (Juanita Bynum and Paula White) going through some very challenging times. One speculation is that the cause(s) for these challenging situations is because these two women OVERSHADOWED their husbands in terms of success in the public eye....

Is it impossible to have a fulfilling career along with a healthy and successful marriage and family?

I'm well aware of the role of the woman in the household and how the man is to be the head of the household, priest of the home. I have seen this in action in my home with my parents as well as my spiritual parents. I'll even go as far to speculate (IMHO) that my spiritual mom (pastor's wife) could do even more in ministry (preaching, traveling, etc.) with the support of her husband, but she seems to make choices that allows her to remain in the shadows of her husband. She does minister and she does a lot, but I know she could do more...but she's made the conscious choice that marriage and family come before any church ministry per se, which is the wise way to go because a wife and mother's first ministry is to her family.... She's one of the most humble women I know on the planet....

I'm curious as to how to think about this.... How to prepare myself 'cause I know I'm supposed to do great things. Also, one of the parts of my prayer/profession of faith is that the Lord's plan for my marriage is that my husband has a ministry/career/profession that I FIT IN...that I'm compatible to.... I ask this because I am sure that my husband has an ESTABLISHED career/profession/ministry as I am beyond the "traditional" marriage age....

Your thoughts?

The couple simply has to be 'equally yoked'. Many marriages succeed with the wife who has achieved success; yet the husband do not feel threatened nor feel that they have accomplished less.

Patti Labelle's husband is her Manager. They seem to be going strong. I still wonder about Oprah and Steadman.

I am one who believes that the man should lead and be honored as such. But I don't plan on stifling my gifts / talents. In Marriage unless the two are 'agreed', they will not stand. If a husband feels that the wife is 'taking' over and leaving him no ground to stand upon; no sharing of the platform, then of course there are going to be problems. But never to the degree of disaster that has occurred with the Weeks or the Whites ending in divorce.

I have more thoughts....I have to log off soon. I'll try to come back to this thread a little later tonight.

 

[delp]

The couple simply has to be 'equally yoked'. Many marriages succeed with the wife who has achieved success; yet the husband do not feel threatened nor feel that they have accomplished less.

Patti Labelle's husband is her Manager. They seem to be going strong. I still wonder about Oprah and Steadman.

I am one who believes that the man should lead and be honored as such. But I don't plan on stifling my gifts / talents. In Marriage unless the two are 'agreed', they will not stand. If a husband feels that the wife is 'taking' over and leaving him no ground to stand upon; no sharing of the platform, then of course there are going to be problems. But never to the degree of disaster that has occurred with the Weeks or the Whites ending in divorce.

I have more thoughts....I have to log off soon. I'll try to come back to this thread a little later tonight.

Pattie and her husband are no longer married. I don't know the answer. I wonder that myself. I agree on the equally yoked (and being best friends) as a great start. The men I have met in the church seem to have some type of ego where they expect certain things from a women. They expect submission (I was told by someone in the church "that will attract my mate"), catering, to be honored regardless if they are doing their part or not. I don't know the answer. Hopefully, some successfully married christian women in this forum can share.I myself would like to know.

 

[alexstin]

The couple simply has to be 'equally yoked'. Many marriages succeed with the wife who has achieved success; yet the husband do not feel threatened nor feel that they have accomplished less.

Patti Labelle's husband is her Manager. They seem to be going strong. I still wonder about Oprah and Steadman.

I am one who believes that the man should lead and be honored as such. But I don't plan on stifling my gifts / talents. In Marriage unless the two are 'agreed', they will not stand. If a husband feels that the wife is 'taking' over and leaving him no ground to stand upon; no sharing of the platform, then of course there are going to be problems. But never to the degree of disaster that has occurred with the Weeks or the Whites ending in divorce.

I have more thoughts....I have to log off soon. I'll try to come back to this thread a little later tonight.

I thought Patti divorced a few years ago. Is this another husband?

ETA: Delp beat me too it.

 

[PaperClip]

The couple simply has to be 'equally yoked'. Many marriages succeed with the wife who has achieved success; yet the husband do not feel threatened nor feel that they have accomplished less.

Patti Labelle's husband is her Manager. They seem to be going strong. I still wonder about Oprah and Steadman.

I am one who believes that the man should lead and be honored as such. But I don't plan on stifling my gifts / talents. In Marriage unless the two are 'agreed', they will not stand. If a husband feels that the wife is 'taking' over and leaving him no ground to stand upon; no sharing of the platform, then of course there are going to be problems. But never to the degree of disaster that has occurred with the Weeks or the Whites ending in divorce.

I have more thoughts....I have to log off soon. I'll try to come back to this thread a little later tonight.

Stifling is a good word that articulates my concern....

 

[Shimmie]

Pattie and her husband are no longer married. I don't know the answer. I wonder that myself. I agree on the equally yoked (and being best friends) as a great start. The men I have met in the church seem to have some type of ego where they expect certain things from a women. They expect submission (I was told by someone in the church "that will attract my mate"), catering, to be honored regardless if they are doing their part or not. I don't know the answer. Hopefully, some successfully married christian women in this forum can share.I myself would like to know.

Delp thanks for clearing me about Patti. I didn't know.

We have to have 'balance' on the 'submission' theory.

The success is complete submission to God and not man.

 

[Shimmie]

Stifling is a good word that articulates my concern....

You're right, RR. Our 'gifts' have to flow and not conflict with one another. We have to be 'agreed' and then work on encouraging each other's gifts / talents. Marriage will always be about togetherness and not a separate vision.

This happens in all relationships when the focus on one person and not a blend of the two persons together as 'one.' Hollywood is a perfect example.

RR, does this make sense? Years ago in Church (prior to 'our' time ), the Pastor's wife sat quietly in the front row with her big fancy hat and fur collar / cape and supported her husband. She didn't preach, she just followed. AND that was it! Now the wives all have fire in their bones and are taking over the husband's pulpit.

Paula White is a prime example of this. Randy was always in the back...Paula was the main attraction. BUT she was gifted and still is in her gift of ministering to people. She's on fire. It takes a strong man to allow this gift of hers to flow. But Paula was also delivered from much and that's the fuel for her fire. She's giving God the praise for her deliverance and so is Juanita...

I dunno, I'm just sharing thoughts right now....

BTW: This is a great thread topic and the issue needs exploring.

 

[PaperClip]

You're right, RR. Our 'gifts' have to flow and not conflict with one another. We have to be 'agreed' and then work on encouraging each other's gifts / talents. Marriage will always be about togetherness and not a separate vision.

This happens in all relationships when the focus on one person and not a blend of the two persons together as 'one.' Hollywood is a perfect example.

RR, does this make sense? Years ago in Church (prior to 'our' time ), the Pastor's wife sat quietly in the front row with her big fancy hat and fur collar / cape and supported her husband. She didn't preach, she just followed. AND that was it! Now the wives all have fire in their bones and are taking over the husband's pulpit.

Paula White is a prime example of this. Randy was always in the back...Paula was the main attraction. BUT she was gifted and still is in her gift of ministering to people. She's on fire. It takes a strong man to allow this gift of hers to flow. But Paula was also delivered from much and that's the fuel for her fire. She's giving God the praise for her deliverance and so is Juanita...

I dunno, I'm just sharing thoughts right now....

BTW: This is a great thread topic and the issue needs exploring.

Whoa! LOL! Especially in the demonination I grew up in.... And even today, most of the churches in that denomination "don't play" women preachers like in these non-denominational/independent churches....

I do believe that a woman can "carry" the word, just like Mary did (John 1:1).

But I do believe that some can take "take over" and that's not ok.... I'm not thinking of anybody in particular 'cause my house is cable-free and so I don't follow any of these folk 'cause I don't have access to view them on TV....)

 

[ClassicBeauty]

Sooo.... here's my inquiry:

Here are these two women in ministry (Juanita Bynum and Paula White) going through some very challenging times. One speculation is that the cause(s) for these challenging situations is because these two women OVERSHADOWED their husbands in terms of success in the public eye....

Is it impossible to have a fulfilling career along with a healthy and successful marriage and family?

I'm well aware of the role of the woman in the household and how the man is to be the head of the household, priest of the home. I have seen this in action in my home with my parents as well as my spiritual parents. I'll even go as far to speculate (IMHO) that my spiritual mom (pastor's wife) could do even more in ministry (preaching, traveling, etc.) with the support of her husband, but she seems to make choices that allows her to remain in the shadows of her husband. She does minister and she does a lot, but I know she could do more...but she's made the conscious choice that marriage and family come before any church ministry per se, which is the wise way to go because a wife and mother's first ministry is to her family.... She's one of the most humble women I know on the planet....

I'm curious as to how to think about this.... How to prepare myself 'cause I know I'm supposed to do great things. Also, one of the parts of my prayer/profession of faith is that the Lord's plan for my marriage is that my husband has a ministry/career/profession that I FIT IN...that I'm compatible to.... I ask this because I am sure that my husband has an ESTABLISHED career/profession/ministry as I am beyond the "traditional" marriage age....

Your thoughts?

I think that your pastor's wife has made the best decision. I totally feel that ministry starts at home. I also think that it's great to pray for someone who is equally yoked. Just make sure that your professing that he is spiritually established as well.

As for the rest, I could never attend a church that was lead by a woman. I also refuse to be a part of a church that's lead by a divorced man. The Bible tells us who should lead a church. Why don't we listen? There's a reason HE set things up the way he did. He knew!

 

[golden bronze]

I have been called to use my gifts and talents for the Lord in a mighty way, and I often wonder about this. I think the Lord would have to send me a mate who understood who I was, and would not feel slighted about my calling.

My model is the Proverbs 21? woman, personally. She describes who I am.

I lost a love because he felt threatened by the fact that I was advancing in my career. I think in general it is hard for men to accept women who are walking in their calling, because it means he has to be as strong or stronger than she is. So in a sense, it is about being equally yoked.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm curious as to how to think about this.... How to prepare myself 'cause I know I'm supposed to do great things. Also, one of the parts of my prayer/profession of faith is that the Lord's plan for my marriage is that my husband has a ministry/career/profession that I FIT IN...that I'm compatible to.... I ask this because I am sure that my husband has an ESTABLISHED career/profession/ministry as I am beyond the "traditional" marriage age....

Your thoughts?

Well there you have it. I know she is secular, but Tony Braxton is a good exampe (so far) of including her husband in her career. He became her manager and he is there by her side in all of the decisions she makes. I remember when she was acting on Broadway, They rented an apartment in New York so the whole family could be there with her. Now on the other hand Vanessa Williams marriages didn't work because she said that her career comes first, kids second, and men last. She wasn't there to support her husband and his career at all and was never home. He lived in LA and she lived in New York. Even though women are doing a lot for themselves nowadays, we still need to make our husbands first in our lives. I'm learning that too now. There are things that I want to do as far as my career is concerned, but my family comes first. I want to start a home business, but I know I can't jsut make those kinds of decisions with my husband.

 

[Evolving78]

Maybe women like Paula White and Juanita Bynum still have a lot of healing to do. These women use their pain, past abuse experiences, and other things to fuel them. Juanita Bynum seemed like such a strong woman, that I don't see how a man could fit into her life. One woman that has been through a lot but has overcome a lot is Joycer Meyers. She is a very strong woman too, but she had to learn to let her husband lead and to let go of past baggage into her marriage. This is just an assumption. Don't start throwin stones!LOL!