Spinoff: What Do You Do When A Stylist Cuts Your Hair W/O Permission

[candie19]

I was looking at the thread about how to tell a stylist you don't want your hair cut.

But what do you do when a sylist trims/cuts your hair and you didn't tell her and then she has the nerve to charge for it. This happened to me and my co-workers from the same stylist. I refused to go back after it happened to me. Like an idiot I sucked it up and paid for it after the fact and vowed never to go in her shop again. But they were pissed for a day and they still go to her. Am I crazy for not trusting a woman that could do that or am I missing something. Confused.

 

[simplycee]

Well I walked right out of the salon when a stylist put a no lye relaxer in my hair after I requested Motions. I didn't pay her, I didn't even say goodbye. I just put my hat over my soaking wet hair and left.

I would probably go totally beserk if she cut my hair without my permission. I know for sure I wouldn't pay her!

 

[Lorraine]

Don't worry. I would have paid, too. That is how I am. However, I would tell her that this wasn't what we agreed and that I couldn't pay full price for the service I received. I give every new stylist my speech.

"I am a Black woman married to my hair. I don't care if it looks dead, dry or broken, do not cut it. If you trim it gradually I will keep coming to you and be a loyal customer. If you cut it all off you will never see me again."

I have a stylist who literally takes my hair and shows me how much she is going to clip before she trims it off. I love her. Ironically she works at Sheldeez.

 

[Neroli]

I was looking at the thread about how to tell a stylist you don't want your hair cut.

But what do you do when a sylist trims/cuts your hair and you didn't tell her and then she has the nerve to charge for it. This happened to me and my co-workers from the same stylist. I refused to go back after it happened to me. Like an idiot I sucked it up and paid for it after the fact and vowed never to go in her shop again. But they were pissed for a day and they still go to her. Am I crazy for not trusting a woman that could do that or am I missing something. Confused.

Well, first thing is she wouldn't have a chance to do more than ONE "snip" before I stopped her cold! I watch these poeple like hawks, even the ones I've grown to trust -- I PAY ATTENTION when sitting in their chairs (the only time I sleep is under the dryer . . . ) Anywho, after the bruhaha I would raise after the first snip, sister would most definitely NOT have gotten paid for that snip -- indeed, she'd be lucky to get paid period. . . . I guess I'm just really firm and just won't take any more nonsense from the folks. I am SERIOUS about growing and keeping my hair long -- now that I KNOW it can be done . . . .

 

[candie19]

Well, first thing is she wouldn't have a chance to do more than ONE "snip" before I stopped her cold! I watch these poeple like hawks, even the ones I've grown to trust -- I PAY ATTENTION when sitting in their chairs (the only time I sleep is under the dryer . . . ) Anywho, after the bruhaha I would raise after the first snip, sister would most definitely NOT have gotten paid for that snip -- indeed, she'd be lucky to get paid period. . . . I guess I'm just really firm and just won't take any more nonsense from the folks. I am SERIOUS about growing and keeping my hair long -- now that I KNOW it can be done . . . .

I wish I could be like you I am such a whimp.

 

[Isis]

I cannot reward someone for their destructive behavior towards me. That's why I stay away from stylists.

Oprah had a couple of shows on this topic a while back. One black woman decided to sue and although this may sound drastic, they pointed out that this is very effective in stopping stylists from doing what the clients asked them not to do.

IMO, if you spent time, energy and money to grow your hair long, beautiful and healthy, and a scissors happy stylist decides they are going to cut your long hair off, he/she shouldn't be allowed to get away with it and certainly not rewarded!

 

[Mitre]

Two words beat down

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

It depends on how much she cut. I understand the woman on Oprah who sued. LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF MONEY AND TIME THAT WE INVEST IN OUR HAIR! One snip could take away thousands of dollars of work and time. So, I understand her, even though I am not saying I would do that myself. That case should have gotten more publicity, so that stylists all over would stop being so damn scissor happy!

That said, in the past I have been a wimp, especially when I was really young. But now, especially since I am so in to haircare, there would be a big scene and the stylist would be lucky if she got paid at all. The excessive trims -- which are really HAIR CUTS -- are the reason why I have adopted the Cathy Howse method and do not get trims. I will buy my own hair scissors from now on and do dustings myself -- when I see a split ends. I must say that bunning, airdrying and oils have helped me to not need trims since the trim -- it was really a haircut -- that brought me to the boards in the first place.

 

[lovelymissyoli]

My stylist recently cut my hair to even out my layers again (without my permission I might add), however, I didn’t get mad about it like I thought I would. On a lighter note, she did it at no charge…of course since I didn’t ask for it, but since it wasn’t too drastic I think that’s why I didn’t get upset. Now, had she taken off a serious amount of length I know I probably would have cried and walked out like I did at my visit to another salon a few months ago. I get real emotional when it comes to my hair!

 

[brickhouse]

First of all I only go to my stylist when I need a touch up which is every 3 mos which is about to turn into every 4 mos. I use to go every week and she used to touch up and give me a so called trim every 5 wks. It is a wonder I grew any hair. After I found this board I only go at touch up time. She used to show me how much she was trimming but since my hair has surpassed hers she did not show me the last time. I will be doing a light dusting from now on out. I just went to Sally's and got some scissors. But to answer your question, when I see someone coming at me with scissors I stop them in their tracks. I use to sit back and just take crap from people but not anymore. It is your hair and your should never be ashamed to speak up.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

I wish I could be like you I am such a whimp.

Candie19, you are not a wimp....my advice to you and anyone else who goes to other people to get your hair done...it always state what you want BEFORE you get it done..for example, when it was time to get your hair done rolled our blowndry..turn around to the sylist and tell her that you do not want a trim, just styled...the same goes for anyone using small combs to comb your hair etc....

I learned this YEARS AGO when I was younger (13) and a family member but the jerry curl in my hair instead of a relaxer ...when I realized what was going on it was too late. I learned you have to speak to the stylists before they do something dumb to your hair.(I should have reminded her of what I wanted) it works for me and saves me a lot of stress...

Sorry you had to go thru that....Also I understand why you paid but since you didn't ask for a Trim you should not have had to pay for it

 

[Poohbear]

What to do? Turn around and cut her hair off! J/K!

 

[AngelicRose07]

EXACTLYYYY

 

[Nyambura]

Sorry this is so long!

I agree with speaking up before the stylist takes action. I still go to a SHS - she cut an accumulated 4 inches in the two "trims" she gave me last year, thus keeping me from reaching brastrap. But she does relaxer touchups well and in this town that's like finding a needle in a haystack, so it's not like I could kick her to the curb and easily find someone else.

So last week, when I saw her reach into her drawer for the scissors, I told her, "No trimming, please." I repeated it after each of her (numerous) objections. Of course, she went on and on about how terrible my ends looked. (I wear protective styles, don't use heat, moisturize my ends daily, and wear a baggie w/a phonytail over it all, so I know my ends are in good shape, especially since I've never had a problem with split ends.) She even told me, in front of another stylist, "You must like your ends looking damaged like that." I looked her right in the eye and said, "YEP!" The other stylist laughed BUT my stylist kept her scissors in the drawer, and that's what counts. Even when ringing me up, she pushed a product, saying I "needed" it "especially because of those ends." Sad.

The first time I'd gone to her last year she insisted that no matter what, hair *must* be trimmed with each touchup - regardless of the actual condition of the ends. Trimming hair automatically w/o taking its condition into account is nonsense.

Candie19, if you're not comfortable with confrontation it can feel a little uncomfortable speaking up. For me, it helped to remember how upset I was at the amount I'd lost in the past to her "trims." When I got home this last time and looked at my ends, I was happy I had stood my ground. If she tries it again, what I said this last time will bear repeating. After all, we are the customers. I was prepared to STAND UP, OUT OF THE CHAIR should she have been bold enough to hold on to the scissors after I told her no trimming. The modicum of discomfort felt when standing your ground against a bully/SHS is worth the flood of relief and happiness felt when retaining all that hard-earned length!

Good luck and Happy Hair Growing.

 

[Chaya]

The last time I saw my beloved stylists I asked for a trim and she cut way more that I expected. She showed me how much I needed and I agreed. It was more than I wanted but I guess it is what I needed. Well fast forwards 2 months after using that NIOXIN. My hair has grown back AND MORE. I saw here for a much needed relaxer 2 days ago and I guess she assumed Id also want a trim since that is what I usually get when I get a relaxer. I kindly told her that I would not be needing a trim and she agreed that i could afford to wait a few more weeks (Ill be waiting longer than that!!!)
I walked out happy!

 

[azul11]

I wish I could be like you I am such a whimp.

I am too. If anyone remembers my previous salon experiences I had one cut my hair w/o permission, leave me with scalp burns and bald spots. I dont know what happens when I sit in the chair. Its like I just dont stand firm in what I want done. I get talked into or bullied into doing services I hadnt come in for and I guess because of my personality stylists do whatever they want without asking. I have had stylist even one from upscale places trim my hair without asking. I never wanted to cause a scene or yell or scream or anything. I wish I could be more firm with the stylist. God bless you all.

 

[Nyambura]

I am too. If anyone remembers my previous salon experiences I had one cut my hair w/o permission, leave me with scalp burns and bald spots. I dont know what happens when I sit in the chair. Its like I just dont stand firm in what I want done. I get talked into or bullied into doing services I hadnt come in for and I guess because of my personality stylists do whatever they want without asking. I have had stylist even one from upscale places trim my hair without asking. I never wanted to cause a scene or yell or scream or anything. I wish I could be more firm with the stylist. God bless you all.

That's the thing - you don't have to cause a scene or yell or scream to stand up for yourself. It's not what you say but how you say it. It can seem frightening to open your mouth when you fear making the other person upset/angry or having her/him retaliate. You can speak up politely and civilly without causing a scene - and still get your desired result (no spontaneous trimming).

How the stylist chooses to react to your request is on her/him. If (s)he goes beserk in response, guess what? (S)He shouldn't be anywhere near my hair anyway and physically backing away from the stylist is the logical thing to do. IRL, I've never had someone go beserk just because I've asked them to respect my wishes. To the contrary, they've respected what I have asked. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Here are some suggestions (suggestions only, take what you need if you find it helpful and leave the rest):

1. If you're really shy, maybe you can try role playing with someone you trust so you can practice what you want to say and how you will react in various scenarios. That way, you can feel more confident when you're actually talking to the stylist.
2. You can also try bringing someone you trust with you so you have the emotional support next to you when you request the stylist respect your wishes.

There are many ways to do this and thankfully they don't have to involve drama. The boost in self-esteem you'll get is a nice benefit as well. HTH!

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

I am too. If anyone remembers my previous salon experiences I had one cut my hair w/o permission, leave me with scalp burns and bald spots. I dont know what happens when I sit in the chair. Its like I just dont stand firm in what I want done. I get talked into or bullied into doing services I hadnt come in for and I guess because of my personality stylists do whatever they want without asking. I have had stylist even one from upscale places trim my hair without asking. I never wanted to cause a scene or yell or scream or anything. I wish I could be more firm with the stylist. God bless you all.

I also used to be afraid of making scenes, esp. at the upscale salons but now that I have taken charge of my haircare I know that I am THE ONLY ONE who can guarantee that I have good hair. Also, you might not make a scene at the salon and pay later. I cannot tell you the amount of times that I have gone to get a relaxer and people have asked me afterwards if I got a haircut -- that is not what I wanted to hear.

So I am not afraid to make scenes. Firstly, it will not be necessary to make a scene if the stylist listens and if the stylists doesnt listen I will protect my hair and make a scene because if she doesnt listen I wont be going back to her anyway

I used to go to a salon where they would take it out on my hair when I would complain about their crappy service. So, guess what, I stopped going there so frequently. I will only go there now if I want a rollerset for a special occassion otherwise I'm going to do my hair myself!