Spinoff of Married Ladies: What if your man doesn't pray?

[yokoyokogirl]

So you need prayer, sex, good food, praise, and peace to last 30+ years.
I can do the sex and praise and maybe even peace.
Dlewis is teaching me the food.
But prayer?

I'm Catholic- but Christian--any church with Jesus and the Holy Spirit will do fine. He's nothing. Buddhist by birth, but not practicing anything. He believes in God. And if you are evil and bad and don't ask for forgiveness--hell. But these are kinda universal religious ideals.

He like Baptist church for "the soulful songs"...but doesn't pray. I explained the "soulful songs" are not just music for your ears, but music for God, Jesus. People sing for their spirits. He kinda got it but said he thinks Jesus was just a prophet. Wow. I didn't feel like getting into a religious debate over dinner.

But can you be happy without praying together? Can you change this about someone? Can you co-exist in a successful marriage with total different religious habits and beliefs?

 

[Transformer]

Mmm- we do silent prayers in my house of 31 years, but generally the religion part is a challenge. I don't know what would happen if my spouse tried to direct me to church.

Sisters' Experience: It hasn't worked.

 

[tiara76]

it only depends on the two people involved and if respect is given for each others views without bashing or putting down, or if solo views are more important and one or the other can't handle the other not having the same views, therefore no respect for their views and that could potentially be a serious problem

 

[CHECKMATE!]

pray for him

 

[trenise]

This is such a good question and can become a very complicated situation. My husband and I grew up with the same religion in the same church and we still can't/don't agree on everything concerning religion, women in the ministry, entertainment, child rearing, etc. In the mixed religion marriages I have seen the problem is amplified and it definitely effects the children. A good friend of mine had a Jewish father and a Catholic mother, she was sent to Catholic school, and observed Jewish practices, but she seemed confused as an adult. Another friend was a Christian and married a Muslim, this alsmost led to their divorce. Can you have a happy marriage without praying together? Yes he can treat you well and with respect, but if this is important to you, you won't be fulfilled. You can't change anything about anybody unless they want to change. You will make yourself tired and angry trying to tranform a grown folk who think there is nothing wrong with him(or her). You have to look at what your priorities are and decide based on that. If Christianity is important to you, then you will have to pray and seek Jesus, the Word, and His will for your life.

 

[Farida]

It would be really tough for me. Especially when things are really bad and he doesn't pray. It is important to me for a man to be able to pray with me and really believe in this prayer. There are things in this life where it seems all you can do is pray, so I don't know how I would deal if my man doesn't believe the power of prayer.

 

[drasgrl]

This thread might help you. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=313507&highlight=

 

[Divine Inspiration]

But can you be happy without praying together? Can you change this about someone? Can you co-exist in a successful marriage with total different religious habits and beliefs?

I think the better question is can YOU be happy without praying together...because (to answer the 2nd question), you can't change a grown man. He is who he is, and if you are not happy with that, you are better off parting ways than trying to force your beliefs on him or manipulate him into praying. That is not love.

Regarding co-existing, I believe it's possible but unnecessarily difficult. There are enough challenges with a person who shares your belief system so like Viv said, when the unexplained difficult things happen and you want to pray, you have to consider if you'll be ok praying alone.

Additionally, some religions/faiths are very clear on the topic of marrying unbelievers so if praying is an issue for you then I would imagine the root of that would be your relationship with whomever you believe to be the divine...and with that in mind, you have to consider whether your relationship with a man is an asset or a liability to your walk with your higher power.

I really think women on the dating scene need to get more clear about this because if you are NOT married, there are NO obligations. If it's not right, then let it go. Don't try to make it be something it's not...and if for whatever reason you decide that the relationship is more important than prayer, then stick to that and don't flip the script when a lost job/an illness/enlightenment/a kid/whatever happens.

 

[metro_qt]

I actually don't think it's that difficult if everything is talked about at length before hand.
My best friend is a devout catholic, and has married a muslim. He does not pray at all.
(but follows other Muslim practices like fasting and Ramadan)
They've been together for 8 years now, and have just had their first child.

(she will be going to catholic school to get the experience, but raised in both muslim and catholic tradition at home)

I agree with you have to look into yourself first. If you can accept that someone doesn't pray, or live with the fact that the person you are with may never pray for the length of your time with them, you're on the right track.

Next, you need to speak to them and voice your concerns.

You cannot force your religion on anyone, just as they have no right to force their religion on you.

 

[MD_Lady]

But can you be happy without praying together?

Can you co-exist in a successful marriage with total different religious habits and beliefs?

My answer to those questions as they apply to my relationship is 'absolutely'. IMO, differences in religion and religious expression (much like differences in anything else) are part of life and don't have to be an automatic barrier. The important thing is that people know where the other stands and are willing to come to a compromise where differences are concerned.

HOWEVER, for some people, it is very important that their SO has the same spiritual/religious beliefs and expresses those beliefs the same way. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, but if being on the same page as far as religion and sprituality are concerned, people MUST make their SO aware, especially is there is a possiblity of marriage and starting a family.

Can you change this about someone?

No, but then again, would it be fair to do so? People should look to discuss and acknowledge their beliefs (and those of their SO), not change them.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Mmm, I wouldn't care. I'm Catholic too and I was taught in Sunday school that singing religious songs is like praying to God twice as hard.

 

[LunadeMiel]

I wouldn't care....

 

[song_of_serenity]

Depends on how strong you are in your faith and the importance of it to you. Some people are just casual believers in whatever, and mixed religion relationships are not a problem.

However, if you believe ___is the way and you can't be unequally yoked with believers, then it will be a problem. I'll pray for you both!

And like religion, habits, etc, no one will change unless THEY want to!
~*Janelle~*