Spinoff: Converting for your man...

Would you convert for your man

  • Yes, no matter what he was... I truly love him..

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Only if he was the same religion as me, but different denomination

    Votes: 24 17.8%

  • Within reason (explain)

    Votes: 20 14.8%

  • Under no circumstances would I ever convert

    Votes: 91 67.4%
  • Total voters
    135
seraphinelle

seraphinelle

Well-Known Member
In what instance, or maybe not, would you convert for your man?

Religionwise.

Would you be content in the relationship as two different religions or even two different denominations?
 
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For the people that voted never, what are your reasons, and are there ever any exceptions?

And if you don't mind sharing, what religion are you? And perhaps denomination.
 
I put never. But I need better clarification. Do you convert to another religion. If so, I stick with my answer, never. You do you, I do me. If I was happy before the relationship, why convert now. I will never convert because my faith in God is so strong. I am Christian. I don't believe in the whole denominational thing. You belive in Jesus Christ as your savior, you're Christian.

If your faith in your religion is strong, then it will be hard to convert to another religion. I was thought God first everything second. Your man can't come before your ideals if that is the foundation of who you are.
 
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Hmmm.... between the 2nd and 4th option, wasn't sure which one to choose because this one "Only if he was the same religion as me, but different denomination" doesn't sound like "conversion" to me.... The core beliefs would have to align.

Short answer is no, changing my belief system for someone else is not an option for me. If it were to change, then hopefully it was because of a personal ephipany, not to get or keep a man. Two,
 
I chose never. If I choose to convert, it would be because of what I believe not for my man. If I was protestant, I could see myself switching denomination for a man. Some of the denominations belief system are not that different from what I see.
 
Hmmmm since I dont have a set religious affilitation I would be open to learning more and possibly converting. But just solely for the sake of being with him? no.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Hmmm.... between the 2nd and 4th option, wasn't sure which one to choose because this one "Only if he was the same religion as me, but different denomination" doesn't sound like "conversion" to me.... The core beliefs would have to align.

Short answer is no, changing my belief system for someone else is not an option for me. If it were to change, then hopefully it was because of a personal ephipany, not to get or keep a man. Two,
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I agree,

But for example, some Christians have core beliefs that don't mesh with other Christian beliefs.
 
seraphinelle said:
I agree,

But for example, some Christians have core beliefs that don't mesh with other Christian beliefs.
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Maybe, and I'm just speculating here, that there's a difference between (core) beliefs and (core) practices, or the expression in which the belief is demonstrated.

For example, the ritual of baptism. At my childhood church, they did baptism like once a month. At the church I attend now, they baptize ON THE SPOT! As soon as the person confesses the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, everything is there for them to get baptized right away. That's a beautiful thing and that's one thing I love about my church. There's also the thing about in what "name" to be baptized, but that's a different thread.;)

Another example is in wearing pants to church. I had BETTER NOT show up at my childhood church with some pants on! :lol: But at the church I go to now, pants are allowed. Makeup is another thing....I can go on and on! :lol:
 
I voted "within reason".

I'm a pagan. I don't strictly follow any traditional path, I'm very eclectic, but I do what works for me. I've followed this path since I was about 14.

DH is agnostic and he respects by beliefs. He promised me when we were married that any spiritual instruction for our children would be left up to my teaching.

If he had been a pagan of another tradition, I may have "converted" or adopted his practices. I believe underneath it all, all religions are one, are prayers are all heard by the same Divine.

Had he been a follower of a religion that taught my practices are evil or not of God then I'm sure we wouldn't have dated, let alone gotten to the marriage and conversion stage.
 
I'd convert as long as it was to something interesting lol I don't have any particular beliefs, I was christened a Roman Catholic and had my first holy communion but that was just going through the motions, I formed my own views once I was about 12 and I haven't looked back. If he was something less stoic and "thank God for everything" I'd definitely do it, but I'm not going back to organised Christianity, no way no how!
 
I would not convert for someone else. That seems strange to me, to develop a relationship with G-d and convert to worship an idol. No not for me.
 
I would never convert to any religion because I don't believe in them. I believe in my higher power and that's all he needs to know. If my G-d can accept my faith without me doing a bunch of rituals and whatnot, then so can a man who wants to be with me.
 
dlewis said:
I would not convert for someone else. That seems strange to me, to develop a relationship with G-d and convert to worship an idol. No not for me.
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If I believed like that, I wouldn't convert either.
 
I wouldn't. Though, I should say that there are some religious practices that I'd be willing to adopt without converting. It depends. I'm open minded to a certain point. There are two religions that I would not be willing to even entertain the idea of bringing into my life. But there are many more that could flow with my own beliefs.

I'm Jewish and I married someone Jewish. We still have differing beliefs on some things, but we agree on our way of life. I don't think I would have married or dated someone for very long if they were of a religion that was completely incompatible with mine. However, I would marry an agnostic or an athiest without problem as long as they didn't mind me being a spiritual person.
 
I think it is totally unfair to force someone to convert if he doesn't want to. But sometimes, religion is the only obstacle for 2 people in love and who get along really well to get married. So what do you then?
Like I said in the other thread, my mum and her family wants my bf to convert if we get married, because muslim women are not supposed to marry someone of another faith (the funny thing is that guys are allowed to as :ohwell: ). They're so adamant about it, and it annoys me! One of my aunty says he should do it, even if it's for face value, because she's concerned of what the community and relatives would say if they hear that their daughter is marrying a non-muslim! So basically she expects him to say to the Imam, yes I am a muslim and I have changed my name to (insert arabic name), but then after he can do as it pleases him. They won't really care what he does at home, but in front of them he would always have to 2pretend", or at least not make it obvious that he's not really a practising muslim after all. Although it looks like a possible compromise, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this kind of deceit. My bf is seriously frowning at it as well.
What can I do. I know my mum's fam won't budge, and I don't want to alienate myself from them. Funny thing is that my mum and several of her sisters went to catholic school. Go figure. 2 of my mum's sister married christian men, and although they said they wouldn't convert, they did!:lol: One is even a pastor today!!
I wouldn't totally mind converting to become a christian, because for me we all share the same God, and the core principles are the same. I'm more concerned with spirituality anyways. But I'm comfortable going to church (I've been there with my bf's mum 2 oe 3 times). I've got a Bible at home and I read it. I've seen sermons that moved me, and spoke to me. My kids can choose the religion they want when they grow up. I just want to instill in them a deep sene of spirituality, open-mindedness and a respect for all religion,
Maybe I'm just confused!:look:
 
_lovelyness said:
I think it is totally unfair to force someone to convert if he doesn't want to. But sometimes, religion is the only obstacle for 2 people in love and who get along really well to get married. So what do you then?
Like I said in the other thread, my mum and her family wants my bf to convert if we get married, because muslim women are not supposed to marry someone of another faith (the funny thing is that guys are allowed to as :ohwell: ). They're so adamant about it, and it annoys me! One of my aunty says he should do it, even if it's for face value, because she's concerned of what the community and relatives would say if they hear that their daughter is marrying a non-muslim! So basically she expects him to say to the Imam, yes I am a muslim and I have changed my name to (insert arabic name), but then after he can do as it pleases him. They won't really care what he does at home, but in front of them he would always have to 2pretend", or at least not make it obvious that he's not really a practising muslim after all. Although it looks like a possible compromise, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this kind of deceit. My bf is seriously frowning at it as well.
What can I do. I know my mum's fam won't budge, and I don't want to alienate myself from them. Funny thing is that my mum and several of her sisters went to catholic school. Go figure. 2 of my mum's sister married christian men, and although they said they wouldn't convert, they did!:lol: One is even a pastor today!!
I wouldn't totally mind converting to become a christian, because for me we all share the same God, and the core principles are the same. I'm more concerned with spirituality anyways. But I'm comfortable going to church (I've been there with my bf's mum 2 oe 3 times). I've got a Bible at home and I read it. I've seen sermons that moved me, and spoke to me. My kids can choose the religion they want when they grow up. I just want to instill in them a deep sene of spirituality, open-mindedness and a respect for all religion,
Maybe I'm just confused!:look:
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I'd say a conversion by force isn't a true conversion at all.

Converting just to please family is a bad idea also.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Maybe, and I'm just speculating here, that there's a difference between (core) beliefs and (core) practices, or the expression in which the belief is demonstrated.

For example, the ritual of baptism. At my childhood church, they did baptism like once a month. At the church I attend now, they baptize ON THE SPOT! As soon as the person confesses the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, everything is there for them to get baptized right away. That's a beautiful thing and that's one thing I love about my church. There's also the thing about in what "name" to be baptized, but that's a different thread.;)

Another example is in wearing pants to church. I had BETTER NOT show up at my childhood church with some pants on! :lol: But at the church I go to now, pants are allowed. Makeup is another thing....I can go on and on! :lol:
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We do this too at my church (the Church of Christ)...and it is a wonderful thing:-)

I would never convert, because I would no longer be a Christian. I'm blessed that the hubby and I were both members of the church before marriage and each had our own relationship w/ God prior to becoming married.
 
Good Thread - I was asked to convert to Islam my response to my SO at the time was I don't really make the best Christian so switching to Islam may not be the best option.:nono:
 
My SO and I are in the midst of this right now. We are both Christians who have the same beliefs, but we are struggling to find a church that we can both agree to. Luckily, I think we finally found one. We were both raised Baptist, but I am a member of a Non-denomination church now. His church is boring to me, and my church is too wild for him. We've been looking for a happy medium where we can both be happy with our worship.

The funny thing is that the church that we both like is a Methodist church. It's lively enough for me and traditional enough for him. I feel the presence of the Lord there, even though it's not a very carismatic church. We'll keep visiting there when I finally move, but it looks like it may be the family church someday.:yep: It is very important to me that my family worships together (when I get a family).

I voted that I would possibly change denominations, but I would never leave Christianity for anyone.
 
I voted within reason. If my man exposed me to his religion and I had a change of heart and really felt in my soul that it was right for me then I would consider converting. But I would only do it if I felt it in my heart. I don't htink converting is something you should do just to make someone else hapy. You have to feel it.
 
I agree, If I felt moved by that particular relgion I might but... part of the the person I am is wrapped up in my beliefs. You take all of me or none of me. because would you really want to be with someone who changed a part of themselves and it turns out that part that they changed for you was what made you love them in the first place?
 
I think that if one person isn't religious at all, I don't see a problem with converting for face-value. I mean, seriously, if the person doesn't agree with religion and isn't drawn to a particular religion of their own, what is wrong with making family happy by saying you converted? Most people don't follow their own religion anyway, so why not do something to make everyone happy. As long as you are straight up with your SO and you both know what is going on in the other person's mind then it is all good.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Hmmm.... between the 2nd and 4th option, wasn't sure which one to choose because this one "Only if he was the same religion as me, but different denomination" doesn't sound like "conversion" to me.... The core beliefs would have to align.

Short answer is no, changing my belief system for someone else is not an option for me. If it were to change, then hopefully it was because of a personal ephipany, not to get or keep a man. Two,
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I agree RR. I wouldn't change all that I am and all I believe in for someone else's beliefs.:ohwell: Jesus means more to me than any man who could ever walk this earth.:yep:
 
I said never. I am a Christian and I wouldn't ever convert especially for a man. In the Christian religious it says we also should be equally yolked, which means we should both believe the same. So for me It is best to seek out someone who is within my religious to begin with. My cousin was raised a Christian, and she converted (Im not exactly sure to what) and the scariest part is, her husband then made her move out of her state, away from her mother and family...then when we do see her we realized her little son doesn't celebrate most holidays which makes it hard for us to all get together for certian holidays (even thanksgiving and christmas) other than birthdays.So with that..no I wouldn't convert.
 
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