Speaking up at the salon

[gn1g]

Do you have a difficult time telling your stylist what to do to your hair? I find that when I tell a stylist not to use certain products on my hair, they usually get an attitude. It's as if because they went to school for hair they know everything about hair and therefore you should not be telling them.

If you do tell the stylist at what point during the service do you tell the stylist what to do?

 

[ladylibra]

no, i don't have any problem speaking up at the salon. my auntie was my first stylist and she is the one who told me, "YOU are the one paying the stylist to make YOU happy." i've had stylists get an attitude with me before, and i have no problem telling them to check themselves or not get paid at all. this is my hair we're talking about!

this is also the reason i don't really go to stylists anymore, since my auntie also taught me to take care of my own hair... sometimes it's more work getting someone to listen and do what you asked than it is to just do it yourself! (i can say the last stylist i went to scored major points with me though... so they're not all bad. )

 

[fancypants007]

Do you have a difficult time telling your stylist what to do to your hair? I find that when I tell a stylist not to use certain products on my hair, they usually get an attitude. It's as if because they went to school for hair they know everything about hair and therefore you should not be telling them.

If you do tell the stylist at what point during the service do you tell the stylist what to do?

I agree you have to speak up but sometimes it can be intimidating. I was getting my hair cornrowed and I told her my scalp is sensitive and I don't want tight braids. Well when she got to my hairline, I told her they were a little tight. After a while I had to tell her again. She replied by saying she is already making them loose but I just wanted her to know, give me what I'm asking for. The problem with this hair gallery, is you have to pay upfront before they perform the services so they already hadheir money. Anyhow, I am pleased with my style but I was not afraid to speak up no matter how intimidating they try to be.

 

[ubavka123]

I speak up as soon as they take me to their chair. No point in being disappointed later on. If I don't want to be trimmed, I speak up before they even reach the scissors. Or better even, when they ask, when was my last one. I'll say, it was on X date and I will not be getting one this time. You have to speak up from the beginning. Sometimes they can be put off because they are used to running the show, but they get used to it. I don't know why so many people don't speak up. It is my hair and I am its only advocate at the salon.

I remember when I was seeing a stylist in Philly for the first time. He asked me what kind of relaxer I was using and I said regular Affirm--the kind you don't mix up. He tried to act like he didn't know what I meant. I said I use lye. Then he said, they all have lye. I said, that may be true, but I use the one that you don't mix and I don't feel comfortable changing. Luckily, there was a tub of it sitting in the distance and I pointed to it for emphasis.

After I was relaxed (with lye) he proceeded to blowdry me and I expressed to him at that time that I wanted very little hair trimmed off. I asked him to "be nice." He styled my hair wonderfully and was never scissor-happy. I stuck with him until I moved and he never let me down, because I ALWAYS told him what I thought or wanted from DAY 1. I am like this with all stylists.

Better even, if they start to see you as a "picky" client, because then the roles get reversed and they are "scared" to do anything to you without your permission. I've seen stylists react and even comment under their breath when these types of clients come in the door, but they always do what they say. I'd rather be seen as a pain, so long as they do what I say, rather than staying quiet and leaving jacked up!

Just remember that you are your hair's only advocate. Establish your stance early on and you can have a great relationship with your stylist. I can safely say that I have not ever had a communication problem with a stylist because I speak up and tip well when they listen. And I don't mind walking out with a wet head if I sense that I can't trust their judgement...

 

[shunta]

Yes this is me to the tee. I dont know why but sometimes I feel as if they may take it the wrong way. I dunno, thank God I only have to go for retouches and thats it.

 

[CAPlush]

Maybe if you try to start the conversation before they even touch your hair, that will get you more comfortable with speaking up throughout the service. I have to tell a stylist 3 things before they touch my hair 1) I'm tenderheaded 2) my hair was damaged by a relaxer 3 relaxers ago and it had to be cut off afterward and 3) I don't do gel, hairspray, or grease. This sets the tone for my other requests for gentle treatment, conditioning, and how I want my hair styled and what products I prefer.

 

[GirlywithCurlies]

You just have to figure out for yourself what is more important to you - making someone else happy or pursuing your hair goals. I know everyone doesn't feel comfortable being confrontational, but just think about all the time you spend on LHCF learning how to maintain your length, all the time and money you spend on products and protective styling, just to let it be wasted by someone else?


I don't think so.

You don't have to be nasty, just firm. And if they can't respect it, smile sweetly and BOUNCE.

 

[ladylibra]

You just have to figure out for yourself what is more important to you - making someone else happy or pursuing your hair goals. I know everyone doesn't feel comfortable being confrontational, but just think about all the time you spend on LHCF learning how to maintain your length, all the time and money you spend on products and protective styling, just to let it be wasted by someone else?


I don't think so.

You don't have to be nasty, just firm. And if they can't respect it, smile sweetly and BOUNCE.

exactly. that is the key. i am overly friendly and polite to people, so if it gets to the point where i'm not being nice towards you... you know you effed up, LOL

for example, the last stylist i went to started combing from my roots first and as soon as i felt that pull i told her, "it's a lot easier if you comb my hair from the ends first, because that's where i have the most shrinkage and tangles." i said it nicely, and so she tried it. sure enough when she did, she replied, "wow you're right, this is much easier!" nothing but sunshine and happiness after that. i never ask for anything outlandish IMO... and don't feel i'm telling them how to do their job. i'm just telling them what i already know about my own hair, to make their job a little easier and to make my experience a little better.

that's how i look at it, anyway...

 

[MrsHouston]

Do you have a difficult time telling your stylist what to do to your hair? I find that when I tell a stylist not to use certain products on my hair, they usually get an attitude. It's as if because they went to school for hair they know everything about hair and therefore you should not be telling them.

If you do tell the stylist at what point during the service do you tell the stylist what to do?

I like to get things out in the opening at the beginning before any services are performed. That way if she charges you for something you didn't ask for or performs an incorrect service, you'll have ground to stand on. For example: If I told a stylist ahead of time I didn't want my hair cut and she cut it, I wouldn't pay her because she in essence ruined my hair. Yes, it could grow back, but she has set me back for months now and she should suffer financially for her mistake.

 

[InnerSoul]

This is a subject I don't really have to deal with anymore... I now do my own hair since learning how to take care of my hair ...well my mom puts in my relaxers but aside from that.. I am stylist free.

 

[Cien]

I'm not afraid to speak up! I just went to a new salon yesterday to get my hair washed and flat ironed. I normally do my own hair, but it was last minute, I had to make a video last night.

At the shampoo bowl, the stylist says--'do you relax you hair? when's the last time you had a relaxer?'....I said yes--I just don't relax my hair bone strait--and left it at that.
(I'm texlaxed, so my roots and the length of my hair has plenty of texture)...

But anyway, after pooing I told her that I preferred that she used my wide tooth shower comb, which I had in my purse, instead of the smaller tooth comb that she was about to use. She did so with no problem.

I wasn't tryna have 3 handfuls of my hair down the sink while she was detangling...... oh nooooo.....

------

however I do remember a visit to a FORMER stylist last spring in which he got crazy attitude with me because I wouldn't let him trim my ends....that's why he's my FORMER stylist..
wit his flamin ***....

 

[vivadiva85]

I need to start! My question is: why do stylists insist upon 1) not combing my hair right (directionally speaking), and 2) using small teeth combs and ripping my hair apart.

I went today the salon. The end result is nice. But it went through enough stress to get there. And the friend who recommended me was talking about how this stylist cares for my hair and this and that-no boo boo your stylist was trash!

I haven't been able to my dominican salon. They are not easy for me to get to because I dont have a car. What I really need to do is see balisi.


I hate to tell people how to do their job or how to do what they should already be doing, but I'm speaking up from here on out!

 

[KeraKrazy]

I always hated speaking up I guess its because before I found this site I always assumed the stylists knew better, now I see that their motives are nothing over and above financial I tend to do most things myself I mean why should I have to tell you that combing my 3 mths post hair from root to tip with a rattail comb is damaging can you not see the balls of hair coming outta my head. when I do go (special occasions) I feel like I'm preparing for battle.

 

[chayil0427]

This was an interesting thread to read. I've always had problems expressing my desires to my stylist.

Right now I was kinda nervous about my next appointment because I'll be telling my stylist that I won't be trimming my hair until next January (12 months after my last trim).

Yet, I feel it's a must I explain this before I even put my tushy in the chair, and if he is vehemently against it I've got the phone numbers of two other stylists and I'll be happy to going and see if they have a better attitude about their cliants wishes.

Hopefully he won't be upset or too against it because he's a great stylist and so far things have gone really well working with him.

Chayil

 

[Guapa1]

The last time I went to a salon to get anything but hair extension. The stylist washed and shampooed my hair, and I gave my comb, and she started getting an attitude. Then we moved from the sink to her chair, and she pulled my shrunken hair, and said 'What am I suppsed to do with this?' I looked at her her in the mirror and said 'Not a damn thing', took off the apron and walked out with my wet head. I won't have bad minded people in my hair!

 

[IAOJ]

The last time I went to a salon to get anything but hair extension. The stylist washed and shampooed my hair, and I gave my comb, and she started getting an attitude. Then we moved from the sink to her chair, and she pulled my shrunken hair, and said 'What am I suppsed to do with this?' I looked at her her in the mirror and said 'Not a damn thing', took off the apron and walked out with my wet head. I won't have bad minded people in my hair!

You are my inspiration! I wish I could be that bold in the hair salon.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

see, i got spoiled because i had the same primary stylist for 20+ years... we got to the point where they knew exactly how to wash my hair, knew to wrap it, and when i got to her chair, she knew to curl with the right size curling iron, didn't dare touch the hairspray, and then gave me the comb for styling purposes when she finished curling it... and she recurled the pieces that ididn't like... of course this was all before LHCF...

so now i don't have a regular stylist and when i do go to get my hair "done" i tend to go to the dominican salon... my problem there is that i'm somewhat intimidated since i can't understand 90% of the conversation in there... this time i did get a little better and gave a really loud OUCH when the shampoo person was detangling at the shampoo bowl after my dc... she did apologize and added some water so the comb would glide easier... but i was a little salty because i try to avoid that one stylist and was mad that i got her.. lol... but when it was time for the rollers to come out and the guy grabbed me to do the blowout, i was all set to put my foot down if he went for the flatiron... luckily he didn't ,but he DID go for the bumpers and i was like, "what are you curling?"... he said it was uneven in the back and he wanted it to look more even.. but that's a later post... but i AM proud of myself for questioning... lol