Speaking up at the salon.. could it make things worst for you??

blackberry815

blackberry815

New Member
Ladies,

I've read alot of posts regarding speaking up at the salon. I guess my question is... at some point is it rude? do you think you can sort of cause bad blood between you and your stylist? should you be concerned that by speaking up your stylist may take it out on your hair?

In essence, I almost feel wrong for trying to say anything to the stylist because they are the ones that went schooling for this. I feel like I could be offending them. For example I would like to do things like bring my own combs but I feel like maybe they might take it the wrong way..... they may think that by doin that I'm saying they buy cheap combs or they are dirty..

I have tried different salons and i want to stop salon hopping. Everytime I go to one I find things that I like and things that I don't like about that particular salon.. I'm starting to think I will never find a salon that does everything the way I want it done and that I just may need to make some specific requests to fit my specific needs but for some reason when I sit in the chair I have no voice. Almost like I'm scared that if I piss them off they are gonna jack my hair up on purpose.

Has anyone been successful in making requests like these without feeling like you and your stylist now have bad blood? I guess this question is more towards those that go to AA salons because I think dominican salons are more willing to comply with requests like bringing in your own products, combs, and rollers even. As an example...I've seen a woman apply beautiful relaxers but she gets it on the scalp..If I sat in her chair for a relaxer should I say please try not to get it on my scalp? or should I just say screw it and keep looking for a salon..

Has anyone made specific requests or given specific instruction to their stylist and had them listen? things like requesting that they comb from the ends on up, or that they not rough your hair up during washing? or to only use their fingertips and not scrub with their nails. Things like bringing your own comb? or telling them to not get the relaxer on your scalp or telling them when it's time to rinse your relaxer out. Would it help or hurt?

sorry this is sooo long..
 
if you have a good relationship with your stylist, it's definitely possible to make (multiple) requests and have them honored without any consequence to your hair....

i had one stylist that i went to for about 20 years (i started when i was 5).... when i hit my teen years and knew what i preferred for my hair, i started with my requests.... in the end, she knew never to use hairspray on my hair, no gel, to set it using certain products, curl it a certain way and, when it was time to comb, she knew to hand the comb over to me and i would finish it off to my liking... whenever i visit her now, my rules still apply... lol

would i feel comfortable doing that anywhere - no.... but it comes down to your relationship with the stylist... i think it's rude to just go into a new place and make demands off the bat...
 
So pretty much think u have to develop a relationship first? If I dont like the way they do things for now just deal with it? Kinda stinks.. i have no relationship with any salon for now because im fairly new to relaxing again..... Still trying to find a home but this makes it hard.

Sent from my ADR6400L
 
blackberry815 said:
So pretty much think u have to develop a relationship first? If I dont like the way they do things for now just deal with it? Kinda stinks.. i have no relationship with no salon for now because in fairly new to relaxing. Still trying to find a home but this makes it hard.

Sent from my ADR6400L
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that's how i did it with that stylist.... if you don't like how they do something, and it's a new place for you, i'd take the opportunity to talk about it with them... explain what you know and like... hear their reason behind doing it... learn each other and by then, you should feel comfortable enough to say what you'd prefer to have happen in your head... that's if you're worried about reprisals...
 
If you have several requests and preferences. I think its best to actually talk to them before the appointment starts. I am not even a stylist and I am pretty sure a million little requests throughout the entire appointment even if they are not hard would be pretty frustrating. It will make a smoother appointment.
 
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SuchaLady said:
If you have several requests and preferences. I think its best to actually talk to them before the appointment starts. I am not even a stylist and I am pretty sure a million little requests throughout the entire appointment if they are not hard would be pretty frustrating. It will make a smoother appointment.
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Ok thats a good point. But do u think saying anything even at that point may offend the stylist? Because ur still telling a professional how to do their job...
Sent from my ADR6400L
 
I look at it as the equivalant telling my dr. if I'm allergic to something or if the medicine they gave doesn't work... If their hair practices don't work for me they need to know. It could help them with other custy's.
 
If saying something beforehand would offend them... I'd feel like something is wrong with them or I'm just not ready for a salon visit yet... You have to be confident enough to speak without "fear" I rather my stylist get a tad bothered and I have fly hair than my stylist be happy and I have to baby strands for the next year... If they're confident they would take what you say and choose whether or not they want to do your hair. If I'm worried about them taking it out on my hair I'd question "why the **** am I in this chair with someone I don't trust behind me".

blackberry815 said:
Ok thats a good point. But do u think saying anything even at that point may offend the stylist? Because ur still telling a professional how to do their job...
Sent from my ADR6400L
Click to expand...
 
I think there is a difference between me telling you how to do your job and me knowing what works for my hair or what I prefer. If I tell you a certain part of my hair burns faster than the rest that is a little different than me telling you how to clip rollers in :lol: You see what I mean? Did you have specific requests you were thinking of making or is this hypothetical?

blackberry815 said:
Ok thats a good point. But do u think saying anything even at that point may offend the stylist? Because ur still telling a professional how to do their job...
Sent from my ADR6400L
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A true stylist will sit with you for a consultation before she even touches your hair. that's when you can lay out your plans and requests. If she can't agree then you move on. I know it sounds like extra but if you really care about your hair's well being it's a requirement. There are plenty of licensed stylists with horrible hair care practices, so do not be fooled.
 
ezina said:
Get a consultation first and sort everything out then. I hope everything works out :)
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I already had appointments with these stylists so its kinda past the consultation point. At the salon where i liked the stylist the most.. My issues mainly lie with the wash girl more so than the stylist tbh. She piled my hair on top of my head and scrubbed my scalp with her nails and vigorously dried it with the towel... Then she combed my hair from root to tip .. she did use a detangler tho...but i didnt say much at the time..

The stylist herself relaxes hair beautifully but she gets it on the scalp. i watched her relax hair while i sat under the dryer following a wash and set. ( i made an appt for a wash and set to see her relaxer process)

During my consultation with her i expressed to her that i had issues with this and that i have a sensitive scalp...But she actually hasnt relaxed MY hair yet. (On the other hand there are several things I liked about her. She refused to blow out my roots even though I requested it. She seems to care about hair health in other aspects.)

While i was there. I thought i should try yet another place but im such a chair hopper.. i think i may never find a place i like everything about and i may just need to make specific requests to tailor the stylists methods to fit my needs...I just dont want it backfiring.

Sent from my ADR6400L
 
Let her know you don't want the assistant to wash your hair. Most stylists can understand that. That seems like your biggest issue.

Next time, just say don't get any on my scalp even if it means I don't get bone straight at the scalp. *maybe that would work.

good luck OP.
 
HijabiFlygirl said:
Let her know you don't want the assistant to wash your hair. Most stylists can understand that. That seems like your biggest issue.

Next time, just say don't get any on my scalp even if it means I don't get bone straight at the scalp. *maybe that would work.

good luck OP.
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Thanks sounds like i just gotta man up and put it all on the table.

Sent from my ADR6400L
 
If I go to the gynecologist...and she has the speculum too wide and it hurts...am I going to sit and suffer in silence because she went to medical school? Or am I going to speak up?

Speak up!! And if they get sensitive or offended easily then you need to find a new doctor if you know what I mean.

This goes all around with any type of service you receive, ANYWHERE.
 
HijabiFlygirl said:
Let her know you don't want the assistant to wash your hair. Most stylists can understand that. That seems like your biggest issue.

Next time, just say don't get any on my scalp even if it means I don't get bone straight at the scalp. *maybe that would work.

good luck OP.
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I think next time i will just tell the assistant i will comb it out myself after the wash.. i hope noone gets mad. Guess it doesnt matter..

Sent from my ADR6400L
 
I have "offended" a few stylists by bringing my own comb, telling them to stop ripping out my hair, applying conditioner to hair that didn't have an ounce of moisture on it, etc... I could go on forever. Basically I spoke up during times when my hair was about to be ripped out. They didn't like it and I didn't go back.

I go once maybe twice a year so now I just do my own hair. Its just not worth the aggravation.

OP, I think that as long as you are the one paying you should have a say. They may have gone to school for this, but at the end of the day you'll be the one crying when they make your hair fall out.
 
No it's not rude to speak up at the salon. It's your hair, it's your money, it's your appearance.

So what if they went to school for what they're doing. Maybe the curriculum at the school needs to be revised if they're not being taught to comb from the ends up, be gentle with hair while washing, don't apply relaxer to the scalp, etc.

I haven't been to a salon in 4 years but I did offend a stylist by speaking up. I had gone to that stylist every 2 weeks for years. I had started taking better care of my ends and I started saying "I don't want a trim this time" when I got a relaxer. The more I did that the more upset she got. The last straw was when she said "you know when you don't get a trim I have to cut off more the next time".

After that I found a new salon - a Dominican salon. They did what I wanted.

It's fine to speak up to anyone who went to school for what they're doing - a stylist, a nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, whatever.
 
Thanks ladies you all have excellent points... I think the next time i visit the salon i will make sure to point somethings out before they even wash me.

Sent from my ADR6400L
 
I really wanted to know if its worth it to do this or keep shopping around for a stylist who already does everything the way i like.


Bumping to see if anyone else has made specific requests and had them comply or object.... i would like to hear about it.
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I agree with a lot of things that have already been said but I would like to add, that it is not always what you say but how you say it, that can make it sound rude. :)
 
I have felt the same way and now I pretty much don't.

It is my hair and I want it to be a certain way and stylists are expected to give you the results you desire or want.

This is why before a style or before anything gets done, I explain to them what I want out of it and certain things I wouldn't appreciate the stylist doing.
 
I used to be a once a week salon goer for years and years, but I haven't been to my stylist in a year and three months ( since starting my hhj ) and honestly, I am afraid to go back. He (my former stylist) has just started calling me and leaving messages on my phone as to where I have been and to make an appointment. It would be lovely to be pampered and to have someone else do my hair once in a while and I think he does a good job with styling hair. I'm thinking about just letting him do a rollerset or just try washing, conditioning and detangling my own hair and going in for a flat iron when I'm ready.
But heres the issue. I have grown my hair to lengths that I have never achieved before and my hair is very thick and healthier than I have seen it in my whole 30 years, and one salon visit could ruin all my hard work and sacrifice.
He is also a very strong personality and I have seen him be resistant to being told how to do things to peoples hair and I don't have time to be argueing with anyone about my dayum hair in a salon. Of course if I do decide to step toe into a salon again, I would have to have a long discussion about how I want things done beforehand. In the past stylists have ripped through my hair and have been impatient b/c my hair is very thick in texture and coarse. But I have found that it is very delicate despite it's tough appearance and breaks easily. I'm so torn. # sighs.
Anyway, to answer your question OP. I don't know. But I think I will wait until I am about full BSL before letting anyone touch my hair and I will be doing a lot of research and having lots of discussions before letting anyone touch this lovely hair again.
 
In the end its all about your presentation and your delivery regarding what you want. The delivery of your request is going to be the main factor that dictates the response you are given, in my opinion.
 
My stylist asked first what I want. If I change my mind, I tell her. I haven't been to her since my BC over a year ago.
 
blackberry815, I feel the same as you but have gradually learned to speak up although I am not as outspoken as some (not yet at least). I have chair hopped recently. I normally ask a lot of questions during consultation to find my answers.

Since you are now a client and something isn't going right, I take the passive approach. I will ask, is it better to comb from root to tip or tip to root. They provide answer. Your reply could be, combing for tip to root seems to work better for my hair and I seem to experience less breakage. Do you mind combing from tip to root? That way you haven't flat out bossed them around.

I have recently changed salons and find it easier to do this with a new stylist because you are learning each other. My last stylist of many years wasn't trying to accept suggestions because we knew each other so well that the relationship became so lax that she would reject requests because she felt more of a friend than a professional and kind of treated you how she wanted too.

Through tons of questions, the stylist learn you and you learn her. I try to go about it in a ask a question and develop conversation manner. Less confrontational. My new stylist knows I primarily take care of my hair from home and I only go to the salon for chemical. Therefore, she feels my questions are innocent, as though I am asking to perfect my skills. It's strategy to train her how I prefer. HTH!
 
divachyk said:
blackberry815, I feel the same as you but have gradually learned to speak up although I am not as outspoken as some (not yet at least). I have chair hopped recently. I normally ask a lot of questions during consultation to find my answers.

Since you are now a client and something isn't going right, I take the passive approach. I will ask, is it better to comb from root to tip or tip to root. They provide answer. Your reply could be, combing for tip to root seems to work better for my hair and I seem to experience less breakage. Do you mind combing from tip to root? That way you haven't flat out bossed them around.

I have recently changed salons and find it easier to do this with a new stylist because you are learning each other. My last stylist of many years wasn't trying to accept suggestions because we knew each other so well that the relationship became so lax that she would reject requests because she felt more of a friend than a professional and kind of treated you how she wanted too.

Through tons of questions, the stylist learn you and you learn her. I try to go about it in a ask a question and develop conversation manner. Less confrontational. My new stylist knows I primarily take care of my hair from home and I only go to the salon for chemical. Therefore, she feels my questions are innocent, as though I am asking to perfect my skills. It's strategy to train her how I prefer. HTH!
Click to expand...

I like that thanks!



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I think you can get the vibe of the salon pretty quickly before you end up in the chair. I would give general directions about wide tooth combs (I suggest mine if they don't seem to have theirs on hand) and combing from the ends, details I would let go unless they are really messing with your head. I also use my own products when I go.

Also what exactly do you go to get done at the salon?
 
It's your hair and your money. You should get the services in the exact way that you want. I loved my old stylist, but she retired and moved out of state in 2007. I never have found another regular stylist.

Have you considered doing your own hair?

I'd hate to see you end up posting a thread about some scissor happy stylist cutting off your MBL hair to APL or leaving the relaxer on longer than you wanted so your hair is falling out....all because you did not speak up.

ETA: I have had my share of unpleasant salon experiences. I take my own products/tools and usually I have no problem with the stylist....or minimal problems when asking them to use a certain product or comb my hair from the bottom up (I'm natural).


Ok salon experience:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=219345&highlight=salon

Not so good salon experience:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=538233&highlight=salon
 
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