SOS!

[Haddasah]

Hey loves! God bless! I am back!

I have been lurking and this section of the forum is such a blessing to me I had to renew my membership!

The last time I was here, I spoke about a gentleman that I met, well it's been a year and we have become very dear friends. Three months ago we prayerfully shared our feelings and decided to test our feelings before going into a deeper relationship, we are still testing and praying for God to bond us together. I love our friendship, it's pure, we haven't even held hands except to pray, he is a God fearing man, loving, and funny and so much more. He has truly been a blessing to me

Currently, he is away doing evangelism and super busy so we haven't spoken as we normally do. And he does his best to contact me for as long as he can, which I appreciate.

But Im second guessing our friendship and if I really want to enter a courtship with him. I don't know if it's because I miss him or if Im using this as an opportunity to really evaluate our friendship or what! I don't know about this feelings and thoughts, I know that I was selfishly discontent with our recent lack of communication, which probably has something to do with it...

Sisters, I really need prayer and any wisdom that can be given! Thank you so very much!

 

[Divine.]

Hey loves! God bless! I am back!

I have been lurking and this section of the forum is such a blessing to me I had to renew my membership!

The last time I was here, I spoke about a gentleman that I met, well it's been a year and we have become very dear friends. Three months ago we prayerfully shared our feelings and decided to test our feelings before going into a deeper relationship, we are still testing and praying for God to bond us together. I love our friendship, it's pure, we haven't even held hands except to pray, he is a God fearing man, loving, and funny and so much more. He has truly been a blessing to me

Currently, he is away doing evangelism and super busy so we haven't spoken as we normally do. And he does his best to contact me for as long as he can, which I appreciate.

But Im second guessing our friendship and if I really want to enter a courtship with him. I don't know if it's because I miss him or if Im using this as an opportunity to really evaluate our friendship or what! I don't know about this feelings and thoughts, I know that I was selfishly discontent with our recent lack of communication, which probably has something to do with it...

Sisters, I really need prayer and any wisdom that can be given! Thank you so very much!

Welcome back

I'm still single, so I'm sure someone with greater wisdom in the relationship area can give you some pretty sound advice. However, it sounds to me like fear is what's holding you back. The guy seems like a pretty good catch to me! If God has given you peace about this man, then there really shouldn't be anything in the way you of you two taking your friendship to the next level. Are you concerned that he may not have that much time for you since communication has decreased? Is there a certain need he is not meeting? Does the the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone make you nervous? Or is it that you have grown so accustomed to your current friendship that you can't imagine changing the way things are?

Hopefully these questions will give you insight into what you're truly feeling

 

[LovingLady]

Currently, he is away doing evangelism and super busy so we haven't spoken as we normally do. And he does his best to contact me for as long as he can, which I appreciate.

But Im second guessing our friendship and if I really want to enter a courtship with him. I don't know if it's because I miss him or if Im using this as an opportunity to really evaluate our friendship or what! I don't know about this feelings and thoughts, I know that I was selfishly discontent with our recent lack of communication, which probably has something to do with it...

Sisters, I really need prayer and any wisdom that can be given! Thank you so very much!

Hi Haddasah, welcome back.

You should just relax, don't think about the situation (easier said than done), and allow things to progress naturally. Let the man lead the relationship into courtship when he is ready. You said it yourself that he is busy and when a man is focused on work his is focused on work. Whenever he calls listen attentively to how his day went and praise him for the work that he is doing.

 

[Haddasah]

Divine. I am hesitant about getting into a relationship because I fear that it wouldn't work out, before or after the marriage. Just being honest. So yes, I am nervous and frustrated that he hasn't contacted me in 2 days, I know, it's not that serious...I have to keep praying about all of this because I believe that my thinking is just wrong

 

[Haddasah]

LovingLady I will try to not think about it, I send him encouraging text messages daily but Im thinking of stopping because he hasn't responded and I don't want them to be an annoyance or distraction, though I doubt that's the reason why. I'm beginning to think that maybe I did something wrong and he doesn't want a friendship with me anymore

 

[Nice Lady]

LovingLady I will try to not think about it, I send him encouraging text messages daily but Im thinking of stopping because he hasn't responded and I don't want them to be an annoyance or distraction, though I doubt that's the reason why. I'm beginning to think that maybe I did something wrong and he doesn't want a friendship with me anymore

I am so sorry to hear your story! Don't give up on marriage! Sometimes, a guy isn't clear about his intentions because he is too afraid to state it and let you know not to waste your time. So, don't spend too much time over-analyzing the situation. Hopefully, the next person will be the one!

Also, it was a great move that you decided not to send him anymore encouraging messages to be an annoyance. That's a great observation. Have a wonderful weekend! Welcome back home!

 

[Haddasah]

Nice_Lady He has been clear that he wants to see if it's God's will that we develop a deeper relationship and recently he has been hinting about "preparing myself for some surprise",but all of that really doesn't mean much. I have been keeping my mind off him as best as I can, talking to God has really helped and Im fortifying myself for any blow that may come. Thank you

 

[Shimmie]

Welcome back

I'm still single, so I'm sure someone with greater wisdom in the relationship area can give you some pretty sound advice. However, it sounds to me like fear is what's holding you back. The guy seems like a pretty good catch to me! If God has given you peace about this man, then there really shouldn't be anything in the way you of you two taking your friendship to the next level. Are you concerned that he may not have that much time for you since communication has decreased? Is there a certain need he is not meeting? Does the the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone make you nervous? Or is it that you have grown so accustomed to your current friendship that you can't imagine changing the way things are?

Hopefully these questions will give you insight into what you're truly feeling

This is an excellent message that you have shared Divine. It is not only full of wisdom but also compassion and great insight. It is obvious that you are sharing the heart of God.

Thank you for this.

 

[Shimmie]

There is nothing that annoys me more is when men 'string' women along.

Please Note: I am not saying that this is what he is doing, however, if he's not responding to text messages or any other type of communication, then somewhere there's a 'string' and he is unattached to it.

In other words, let me know something; don't keep me wondering or even guessing and even worse, hoping. And there is no such thing as 'let's see how serious this is'. Man, get real! Is you is, or is you ain't, plain and simple.

Here's the deal: "Lord I thank you for Mark 4:22 -- 'For there is nothing hid which shall not be manifested, neither is anything kept secret but that it should come abroad."

Precious Holy Spirit... please bring forth the truth and let it be swift and clear. No more games of guessing or requesting. If this man is a 'counterfeit', just tell me what it is...and for this I thank you.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

 

[Shimmie]

I am so sorry to hear your story! Don't give up on marriage! Sometimes, a guy isn't clear about his intentions because he is too afraid to state it and let you know not to waste your time. So, don't spend too much time over-analyzing the situation. Hopefully, the next person will be the one!

Also, it was a great move that you decided not to send him anymore encouraging messages to be an annoyance. That's a great observation. Have a wonderful weekend! Welcome back home!

Nice Lady

 

[JaneBond007]

I'm not attempting to be the Debbie Downer, just getting you to truly think deeper about this. I'm sure everyone in your circle has been praying for you to find the right one and that they are excited, possibly pushing you in that direction with him a little. But be honest with yourself, is he the one for you? He might have all the qualities, but are you truly attracted to him beside your faith?

There are plenty of good men out there, even seemingly the right one expressing love for us, wanting to marry us or court us etc., but if you don't feel it, then he's not right for you. Don't feel forced to choose him just because he's right with G-d and has the qualities you wish. He could be the one and the time is not now. It's not an arranged marriage/courtship in the strictest sense. There has got to be something inside you that is so attracted to some quality of his, that you can't live without him. Take your time, if he cannot wait, then this is not the one/this is not the time yet. And it could be that absence makes the heart fonder for the both of you. I wish you well in your journey.

 

[Haddasah]

There is nothing that annoys me more is when men 'string' women along.

Please Note: I am not saying that this is what he is doing, however, if he's not responding to text messages or any other type of communication, then somewhere there's a 'string' and he is unattached to it.

In other words, let me know something; don't keep me wondering or even guessing and even worse, hoping. And there is no such thing as 'let's see how serious this is'. Man, get real! Is you is, or is you ain't, plain and simple.

Here's the deal: "Lord I thank you for Mark 4:22 -- 'For there is nothing hid which shall not be manifested, neither is anything kept secret but that it should come abroad."

Precious Holy Spirit... please bring forth the truth and let it be swift and clear. No more games of guessing or requesting. If this man is a 'counterfeit', just tell me what it is...and for this I thank you.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Thank you for your prayer! Im staying in prayer about him, I don't want it to hurt if I find out that he is a counterfeit. I really don't get much attention from men, though most people don't believe that, he is the second guy in 6 years to approach me, and I was thinking that this guy was the one. But no matter I have a Father who will always be there

 

[Haddasah]

I'm not attempting to be the Debbie Downer, just getting you to truly think deeper about this. I'm sure everyone in your circle has been praying for you to find the right one and that they are excited, possibly pushing you in that direction with him a little. But be honest with yourself, is he the one for you? He might have all the qualities, but are you truly attracted to him beside your faith?

There are plenty of good men out there, even seemingly the right one expressing love for us, wanting to marry us or court us etc., but if you don't feel it, then he's not right for you. Don't feel forced to choose him just because he's right with G-d and has the qualities you wish. He could be the one and the time is not now. It's not an arranged marriage/courtship in the strictest sense. There has got to be something inside you that is so attracted to some quality of his, that you can't live without him. Take your time, if he cannot wait, then this is not the one/this is not the time yet. And it could be that absence makes the heart fonder for the both of you. I wish you well in your journey.

Thank you! I will think on these things, my mentor told me something similar

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you for your prayer! Im staying in prayer about him, I don't want it to hurt if I find out that he is a counterfeit. I really don't get much attention from men, though most people don't believe that, he is the second guy in 6 years to approach me, and I was thinking that this guy was the one. But no matter I have a Father who will always be there

Ohhhhhhh Angel....



Please don't feel this way about men. They are NOT invincible; meaning that they are not hard to get. TRUST.... Men are not hard to get. They are men and men love women. And you are a woman whom God delights in blessing.

Haddasah... with whom do you share your name? "Queen Esther"

Read her story and read the story of Ruth... again. Read the story of Mary in Luke chapters 1 and 2.

Please don't ever devalue yourself ever again. Promise?

 

[Haddasah]

He called and apologized for the recent pause. He has been busy (every time we talk someone is pulling him off the phone) and people are being saved/baptized...

I will read/meditate on the story of Ruth tonight, thank you!

Shimmie thank you! I didn't realize I was devaluing myself.